A/N: Hope you enjoy the following chapter! I know I enjoyed writing it!

Disclaimer: I don't own KotOR or SW.

Chapter 13:

"Stubborn oaf of a man..." Hayley grumbled to herself as she sat down roughly on the bed. Why had he come to save her? How had he known about where she would be? The Force sure had a crule sense of humor. All the times when she had a purpose and wanted to live people would be trying to kill her. Yet the only time where she wanted to die...she was saved.

There was a knock on the door. Hayley laid down on the bed and rolled to her other side. There was another knock, this time louder. Hayley grabbed a pillow and put it over her head, trying desperately to muffle the sound. The door slid open and Carth walked in. His footsteps were heavy...probably a sign of how tired he was. The man had been through so much and had seen more death than anyone ever had even wanted to.

"Hayley..." Carth began softly.

No answer.

"C'mon, beautiful. Don't be like that." Carth walked towards her.

Still no answer.

"I saved your life for Force sakes! What is wrong!" Carth's voice started to gradually get louder. Suddenly he ducked as a pillow narrowly missed his head.

"That's just it, Carth! I didn't want to be saved!" She yelled at him. Her eyes began to well with tears.

"What? I don't understand..." Carth started to say.

"How more plainly can I put it! I wanted to die!" She noticed Carth's shocked look. "Don't look at me like that! You have no clue what I want, do you?"

"I am trying to understand, Hayley..."

"You see? You don't understand! I am not Hayley! I am Revan, Carth! Revan! Not some sweet and innocent woman trying to make a living in this messed up galaxy! I was once a Dark Lord of the Sith. Why don't you ever call me by my name...my real name!" Hayley yelled angrily at him. Another reason she wanted to die...look at the pain she was causing him. It killed her inside having to talk to him like this...but it had to be done.

"I didn't think that..." Carth began. His fists were clenched so tightly together that there was marks in his hands.

"No, you did think! You think that if you call me by my real name that I'm suddenly going to fall to the darkside and slaughter a bunch of innocent children and destroy families and whole planets! That's what you thought...hell, that is probably what you still think, isn't Carth? Isn't it!" Tears flowed down her cheeks.

"No...that isn't what I thought! I love you...why can't you just accept that? I love you...whether you are Revan or Hayley! You see? It doesn't matter what your name is or was. It doesn't matter what you did or are planning to do. I love you, the woman who is standing in front of me right now." He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into a strong embrace. "So tough luck, Gorgeous. Because now you're stuck with me."

"Love isn't strong enough, Carth. Love won't undue the mistakes I made." She whispered softly. Her voice was worn out. She was worn out.

"Love is, and always will be, strong enough." Carth kissed her passionately on the lips before she abruptly wriggled her way out of his firm grip.

"Carth...stop! Just stop!" She turned around and pulled her hands to her eyes for a moment before turning back around. "I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of living a lie. I'm tired of having everybody's problems on my shoulders."

"You can always lean on me. Why haven't you told me this before?" Carth stood where he was. He didn't want to provoke her into doing something drastic...again.

"I didn't want you to worry about me. You have enough trouble as Admiral of the whole Republic army..."

"About that..." Now was as good a time as any to tell her about his Force connection. The council never said that he couldn't talk to her about it.

The alarm on the ship sounded, alerting them to the fact that they were about to land on Coruscant. It was a good thing that Carth had brought T3 with him so that the little droid could help pilot the ship if he was busy. And this did, in fact, count as being busy. The planet became closer and closer.

"I'm going to have to go somewhere for a while..." Carth decided maybe it was better if she didn't know about the Force bond...it would probably just make her feel guilty about trying to kill herself...because there was a good chance that if she had died, he would have too.

"Where are you going?" Hayley's eyes were troubled.

"I just...uh, I have to go somewhere for a while..." He stuttered.

"We already established that, Onasi. Where specifically?"

"Back to the fleet. They need me for some important task to deal with some Sith interference that they seem to be running into." He said quickly. Carth had never been real good at lying...but he didn't think that she would know or care about him taking care of a simple task such as this, so perhaps she wouldn't pry.

"You're lying."

Sweat started to build around his neck. He just had to keep his calm. Fortunately for him, his training in the fleet allowed him to keep his facade. He restrained from tugging a his collar...it was certainly getting pretty hot in here.

"What makes you say that?" Carth countered.

"I don't know," Her features softened, "I just have this feeling that you're keeping something from me. That...and men are pretty easy to read."

"Oh really? Now look who's the paranoid one!" He smiled, "Don't worry, I'll be back in a couple of months..."

"You are having doubts about us, aren't you?"

Carth hadn't been ready for a question like this. "I..." he began awkwardly.

"I know you have. I have too...only I've been the only one strong enough to face it." Fear or shock, maybe both, registered on Carth's face. "The council spoke to me before I left..."

"What are you saying?" Carth barely got the words out.

"Carth-" She said softly.

"Don't you 'Carth' me. What do you mean, Hayley?" Carth stared at her fearfully.

"I love you...but I..." Pain enveloped the words that she had managed to get out.

"You what?" Carth's voice was strained. "Tell me."

"I can't be with you. Not now...maybe not ever. Especially under these circumstances." Tears began to well up in her eyes again but Carth failed to notice.

"Circumstances! Is that what you call what's happening? It doesn't matter that Canderous died to save you...oh no! It is always about you, Hayley! Always! You claim that you have everyones problems on your shoulder...well I have your problems on my shoulders!" Carth yelled angrily.

"Carth, please don't make this any harder than it already is..." She pleaded quietly.

"You want me to leave?" Hayley stepped towards Carth in an attempt to calm him down. He stepped back. "Say it...say it and I'll leave." His features were strong. This man was no longer the Carth she knew and loved. He had changed...she had changed him.

The Ebon Hawk shook as it landed in a hanger. Hayley looked at the ground. Her emotions were in a constant war; she finally came to one simple word. One simple word that would change their relationship forever.

"Leave." She forced the word out.

Carth froze. He showed no emotions. He merely turned...and left. He left her alone...alone in the small dark room. Now she was truly alone...all alone. Everything she had ever held dear was gone. She would never be able to hurt anyone again.

This can't be happening...what have I done? I pushed away the only man that has ever loved me for being me. Force help me. Hayley fell to her knees and wept. Everything was happening so fast...so uncontrollably. It was as if her life was in a downward spiral...and she was just along for the ride.

A/N: Please review! It isn't too much to ask for a few encouraging words, is it?