Grandpa's Will

Chapter 1: Evil ways of Negi-san

Humming to herself as she readied dinner, Tohru smiled as she smelled the cooking salmon in the small broiler. It looked particularly fresh when she saw it at the market. "Hmm, that smells so good. Mom would be so proud."

She sniffed in satisfaction as she smelled the wild mushroom soup that she was making. It was coming nicely. Tasting it, she hummed with pleasure. "I think this is one of the best soups I ever made, Mom. To think that Saki-chan showed it to me online on that Internet recipe web-thing, it really tastes good."

"Now to start on the vegetables for salad," Tohru decided as she started chopping up vegetables. She smiled as she looked at the fresh produce from Yuki's secret base. She started to sing along with the radio absently. After going quickly through the romaine lettuce, carrots, garlic, tomatoes and scallions, she was finally ready to chop her yearly enemy: the spring onions. She could never fully cut the first onion without something happening to her. Funny how it was that it was only the first onions in the spring and not any other that always did something to her. Thank heavens spring only came once a year. "All right, Mom. I'm ready! Negi-san- prepare to be chopped! You will not cause me to cry uncontrollable tears today! You will not cause me to hurt myself today! I am ready for you!"

With a deep battle cry, Tohru started chopping the onion vigorously. "Hiii-ya!"

"Tohru, what's going on?" called out a pleading voice. "And what smells so good? It's making me hungry. Tohru?"

"Oh, Shigure-san! You're back!" Tohru startled as she turned to look at Shigure as he entered the kitchen with Kyo and Hatori behind him. "Ow!"

"Oh, Hell! You're bleeding!" Kyo yelped as he saw spurts of blood on her hand. "What do you think you're doing? Did you cut your entire hand off? Your fingers?"

Alarmed, Shigure quickly crossed the kitchen towards her but was beaten by Hatori and Kyo. Pushing the excited Neko out of the way, Hatori gently took her hand as she tried to cradle it away from him. "Tohru let me see your hand."

"But Hatori-san," Tohru started to protest. "Your clothes will get-"

"To hell with his clothes!" Kyo yelled as he tried to look over Hatori's shoulder. "Is she all right? Does she need the hospital?"

"Kyo, calm down!" Shigure ordered as he stood on behind Kyo and placed a hand on the younger boy's shoulder. His face paled as he saw the amount of blood coming from Tohru's hand. "You're not helping the situation and you're upsetting Tohru-kun."

"I'm calm! I'm calm!" Kyo said in a near yell as he pulled away from Shigure's hand. "Hatori, is there anything-"

"Kyo, you're not calm," Shigure countered as glared at the younger boy.

"Both of you get out if you're going to argue. Now give me your hand, Tohru, and never mind my clothes," Hatori ordered as he took out a kerchief from his pocket, he started to stem the bleeding on her index, middle and ring fingers. "Shigure, get the first aid. Kyo, get me some clean towels then step back. I can't fully check her hand with you hovering like that."

Hatori cautiously opened the bloody kerchief as he took a towel from Kyo. At first glance, the amount of blood made it look like she had severed her fingers, but she didn't. He started gently check her fingers, they were all there. Letting out the breath he didn't know he was holding, Hatori looked at her and smiled gently. "I have to check your muscles but I think that you managed to scrape a few layers of skin off instead of severing anything, Tohru."

"Oh- Hatori-san! Don't mind it-I think that it's only a small cut!" Tohru said as tears started to come out her eyes. She sniffed as the spring onions started to sting her eyes. Through the tears, she glowered at the onion as best she could. "It's only Negi-san having its revenge on me! I threatened it."

"How is our little flower?" Shigure asked as he entered the kitchen with the first-aid kit and put it down on the counter.

Kyo punched Shigure in the chest before answering. He looked down on the collapsed Dog gasping for breath. "She's blaming it on the spring onion instead of you."

"I see," Shigure gasped as he slowly got up off the floor. "You've gotten a stronger punch."

"See! The cursed Negi-san- it's started fighting between Shigure-san and Kyo-kun," Tohru wailed as she looked at Hatori. "Ow!"

"Be gentle with her Harii, she is delicate. I doubt that an onion could do this. Kyo's just mad at me for distracting you while you were chopping," Shigure said as he looked at Tohru indulgently. He blinked as she scowled towards at him then with a sniff, she pointed looked at the cutting board.

Startled at her displeasure, Shigure looked at Hatori and Kyo questioningly but saw Hatori simply shrug and a pained expression on Kyo's. "Tohru-kun?"

"It was Negi-san! Just-just you wait until next year! You won't get me then!" Tohru declared adamantly as she pointed at it with her other hand. "Ow! Hatori-san! That hurts!"

"Sorry about that, Tohru-kun," Hatori said as he looked at her. "But I needed to see if the bleeding had stopped."

Tohru sniffed. "It wasn't your fault. It was the spring onion's fault."

"I'm home," Yuki said as he entered the kitchen. He blinked as he saw Hatori holding Tohru's hand while Kyo stood on her other side. He paled considerably as he saw the towel speckled wit blood. He dropped his books and rushed towards Tohru and Hatori. "What's going on? Honda-kun, why are you bleeding? Are you all right?"

"Relax. Tohru just hurt herself," Kyo said curtly as he looked at the damn Rat. He nodded towards the cutting board. "She cut her fingers while making supper. It was because Shigure distracted her."

"I didn't know she was cutting up an onion," Shigure said as he lifted his hands up defensively. "And I'd like to say that Kyo already hit me for it."

His hands clenched in fists, Yuki narrowed his eyes at Shigure. "You distracted her-"

"It wasn't Shigure-san's fault! It was Negi-san's fault not mine!" Tohru sniffed as she frowned at Yuki and then at Kyo. "Really!"

Taken aback at her frown, Kyo scowled at her. "How can it be the onion's fault? You were the one with the knife, weren't you?"

"That doesn't matter," Tohru sniffed as she gave him a hurt look. "I'm telling you, it was the Negi-san's fault. It was angry at me so it did this!"

Clearing his throat, Yuki quickly asked, "I'm still not sure how-I mean why the onion would be angry at you, Honda-san."

"You believe me?" Tohru said hopefully as she looked at him. "Honto?"

"Come off it!" Kyo sneered as he looked at Yuki, more upset at the look of adoration on Tohru's face. "You really don't believe her- that the onion was mad enough to cause her to be careless and cut her finger! I saw it happen. She was cutting the onion- Shigure called out; she was distracted and cut her finger. End of story!"

Tohru grew teary as she looked at Kyo. "But it was the Negi-san's fault! Honto! I'm not crazy-"

Panicking at the sight of Tohru's tears, Kyo stammered, "Why-You- Hell! I didn't say that you were-ow!"

"Just shut up, baka Neko!" Yuki hissed as he shoved him aside. "He really didn't mean to imply that you were crazy, Honda-san. But-"

"What I want to know is how do you think was it the spring onion's fault, Tohru-kun?" interrupted Shigure as he frowned. "That onion didn't leap off the cutting board like an alien and attack you, did it?"

"Do you really think Negi-san might have an alien in it? That might explain why it happens every spring!" Tohru asked seriously as she turned to look at Shigure. "Ow!"

"My apologies, Tohru-kun," Hatori said as he bit his inner cheek. "You can blame Negi-san for my hurting you, but you have to keep still."

"You believe me!" Tohru exclaimed as she looked up to him gratefully. "I'm so happy!"

"This is insane." Kyo buried his face in his hand. He looked at Tohru with exhausted patience. "Care to tell me why you think that this is the onion's fault?"

"Because it is! It does something to me every first day of spring," Tohru said indignantly as she gave the onion another glare. She looked at Kyo earnestly. "It likes causing fires in the kitchen, upturning the tables, hurting the neighbor or his dog, making horrible phone calls or making me bleed! Or worse- making me cry for hours! That's what it likes to do the best! Negi-san is evil!"

"I see," Shigure said as he bit the inside of his cheek. He saw that Ha-san was greatly involved with dressing Tohru-kun's wound but did not fail to notice the quivering lips of the dragon. He looked at Tohru as he covered his own mouth. "This is quite serious."

"Great! She's yelling at the vegetables now," Kyo muttered as he threw his hands up in the air. He looked at her and sighed. "Listen- onions can't make phone calls, hurt people or whatever thing you think it can do. You just being-"

'How does an onion cause fires?' Yuki thought as he stared at Tohru. "Tohru, I don't think that an onion-"

"You don't believe me," Tohru said in a high pitched voice. Tears started to gather around her eyes, whether from the evil Negi-san or because the boys didn't believe her, she didn't know. "But I'm telling you-"

"Kyo, Yuki, instead of just standing there, upsetting Tohru-kun even more, you two can help me," Hatori interrupted. His voice brooked no argument. "Kyo, you can finish up supper because Tohru won't be able to finish up and Yuki, you can grab the bandages and start unraveling it for me. The bleeding's finally stopped. And Shigure-"

"Yes?" Shigure asked as he looked at his cousin. "What would you like me to do?"

"Stop being a UFO hack and take these towels," Hatori ordered as he gave him a couple of bloody towels. "You wouldn't want Tohru to do extra work with the laundry not for a while at least. Tohru, I'm going to start cleaning your cut now."

"Yes, better me than Tohru," Shigure agreed. "Or the aliens in the spring onion."

"Yes! The onion aliens might make the blood stains harder to remove," Tohru agreed seriously as she looked at Shigure. Tears burst through her eyes again as the sting of the alcohol ran through her fingers. "Ow! I hate Negi-san!"

"Indeed it is a malicious vegetable," Yuki said as he avoided looking at Shigure. He really didn't want to laugh at Tohru so he looked away from her scowling at the onion. "But it remains that the onion still must be cut for whatever it is that Honda-san is cooking."

"Oh no! You mustn't! You have to throw that onion away or else it'll cause more trouble! You need to use another onion!" Tohru exclaimed as she looked at Yuki in horror. "Honto!"

"Oh for crying out loud! It's just an onion!" Kyo grumbled as he glared at Tohru. He grabbed the knife of the cutting board. "I'll chop the damn thing up."

"Kyo-kun! Please don't!" Tohru cried out just as Kyo picked up the onion and started to peel the onion. Like watching a train wreck, Tohru couldn't turn away as she saw the vengeful spring onion work do its work. "Oh no!"

"Yeee-ouch!" Kyo shouted as the knife slipped from the peel and into the pad of his thumb. At first the pain didn't register, but then it did with a vengeance…and the onion went flying out of his hand…and hit the handle of an empty pot on the stove, causing it to flip- knocking into the pot of boiling soup Tohru had on the oven before it went flying again.

"Watch it!" Yuki shouted as he all at once saw the onion hit the handle of the empty pot, causing it to flip and knock over the boiling soup pot, sending the contents spilling over the counter. At the same time, the onion came at him with the speed of a fastball. A sharp pain hit his eye and he saw stars. "Uh!"

As blood gushed from the slice Kyo made on his hand, the knife went flying into the air and landed inches away from Shigure's bare feet as he leapt backwards…and into Tohru and Hatori. "Watch out!"

"Eek!" Tohru strangled out as she felt herself slam into Hatori and then heard a double pop, one in front of her and the other behind her. She felt herself falling towards the general area where Hatori was and screamed, "Oh no, Hatori-san!"

At Shigure's yell, Kyo looked up from his hand to see Shigure changing into a dog and Tohru falling backwards into Hatori's chest and changing him into a seahorse. Ignoring the pain in his hand, he lunged forward to break her fall. "Tohru!"

"Kyo!" Twisting herself away from where she thought was Hatori's clothes were and towards Kyo's voice, Tohru felt sharp jabs of pain run up her cut fingers and then her body as she landed on what was a soft spot on the floor. Then she felt a small poof before landing on the hard floor and knocking her head. "Ow!"

"Kyo! Hatori! Yuki!" Shigure shouted as he saw Tohru sprawled away from Hatori's clothes and not moving. He leaned over her and gently touched her face with his paw. "Tohru!"

"Ow! Tohru!" Kyo choked as he crawled from under Tohru in his cat form. Shaking his head, he looked to seek Shigure touch Tohru's face gently. He winced as he felt a sharp pain go through his paw. "Ow-damn, that hurts. Is she all right?"

"Shigure, get me out from under these clothes!" Hatori choked out. "I need water!"

"Ah! Harii!" Shigure wailed as he quickly nosed through Hatori's clothes to look for him. At his friend's flailing form, he gently grabbed him between his teeth and raced towards the bathroom.

"What happened?" Yuki asked as he slowly opened his eyes. He felt a sharp pain surround his left eye and gingerly touched it as he sat up. He looked around to see Tohru sprawled on a pile of clothes and the stupid Neko patting her face with a bloody paw. "Tohru! What happened?"

"She's not waking up!" Kyo shouted as he looked at the damn Rat in panic. "Help me get her up! We have to get Hatori! And she's bleeding again!"

"Right," Yuki said as he crawled towards Tohru. He put his hand on her face. "She's all right- where's Shigure and Hatori?"

"We're right here," Shigure said as he entered the kitchen in his naked human form with Hatori right behind him.

"Put on some clothes damn it!" Kyo yelled as he changed into his human form. "Ow!"

"Kyo, let me see your hand," Hatori ordered as he knelt in front of his younger cousin and started to reach for his hand. "That was a bad cut you got."

"No!" Kyo yanked his hand away and scooted away from his cousin. "You can see it after we put on some clothes and after you see to Tohru!"

"I'll see to his wound," Shigure said as he slipped into his yukata. He picked up a clean towel from the counter. "Harii, do try to cover yourself before she wakes up, you really don't want her to go into shock while treating her. And Yuki-what happened to your eye and what's that burning smell?"

Shigure turned to see wafts of black smoke coming out from the small broiler. His eyes widened as he realized, "Oh no! The fish!"

Immediately, he turned off the broiler and used the towel in his hand to pull out a charcoaled and still smoking mess that was once a tasty fish. Tears started rolling down his eyes at the savage loss of a wonderful meal. His eyes fell on the onion on the floor, near Yuki's feet. Shigure looked at Yuki and Kyo as they slowly stood up. "Step carefully, Yuki. The onion is right next to your feet."

Looking down, Yuki stepped carefully away from the onion. Likewise, Kyo inched away from the onion and moved closer to Shigure. Both boys breathed easier the father they were from the onion. Light-headed, Kyo fell to his knees. "Oh, man. I can't take this. I feel weak."

"That was a horrible experience," Yuki agreed tiredly. He looked over to Hatori and Tohru. "Is she all right?"

"She's just got a bump on her head and I've just managed to stop the bleeding on her hand again," Hatori said as he looked at Yuki. He looked at Kyo as he and the younger boy stood up. "I'll see to your wound as soon as I put my pants on. Yuki, you and Shigure get Tohru off the floor and take her to her room."

"Take your time, I think the blood crusted over," Kyo said as he looked at his hand carefully. "I need to get dressed."

"And I need to look at it," Hatori insisted as he took Kyo's hand. He carefully peeled away the towel and winced. "You might need stitches."

"That was a beautiful fish," Shigure sniffed as he put the entire mess into the sink. He turned to look at Yuki. "Now, how are we supposed to- what on earth happened to your eye?"

"Didn't you ask me that before?" Yuki grumbled as he looked at Shigure with his good eye. He knelt down by Tohru's head.

"I think I was interrupted by the burning fish," Shigure retorted as he got to his own knees. "You're really going to have one heck of a shiner. Better put some ice on it."

"After we get her to bed," Yuki said as he pulled the hair away from Tohru's face. "And to answer, the onion was what happened. It flew at me after it knocked over the soup. I think she's waking up…Honda-san?"

Hearing voices, Tohru moaned as she opened her eyes and found herself on her back. She saw Yuki's and Shigure's faces looking over her concerned. She blinked. "Sohma-kun? Shigure-san? What- what happened?"

"It was a domino effect: I fell of you, you fell on Hatori and Kyo," Shigure answered cheerfully. He helped her sit up as she put her hand on her head. "How do you feel?"

"My head-my head hurts," Tohru admitted as she looked at Shigure and started to give him a reassuring smile until she caught a movement over Shigure's shoulder and her eyes widened. She slapped a hand over her eyes. "Eeeeep! Ow! Hatori-san-"

Whirling, Shigure froze as he saw Hatori and Kyo frozen at Tohru's shriek. His cousins were still naked; with Hatori carefully still holding Kyo's wounded hand. And both apparently had given Tohru a full frontal. His perverted sense of humor shoved its way through. "Why Kyo! You've actually grown some! Your rod is now as big as Hatori's!"

"Oh Hell!" Kyo shouted, red faced as he raced out of the kitchen. "Oh HELL!"

"Shigure!" Hatori stammered as he jumped around to see Tohru flip herself away from looking at them and cry out in pain as she slapped her hands over her eyes. Red-faced, he knelt to quickly retrieve his pants and strode out the kitchen with Shigure's maniacal chasing after him.

"Ow!" Shigure said as he grabbed his head. He looked at Yuki unrepentantly. "Yes, yes, I know, behave. You didn't have to hit me, you know they're going to hurt me later…"

"Oh, shut up." Putting a hand over his face, Yuki didn't know whether he should laugh or comfort Tohru. He knelt down next to Tohru. "Oh dear. Tohru, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Tohru said meekly. "Is it all right to turn over now?"

"They've gone from the room, Honda-san," Yuki said quietly. He choked back a cough. "How are you feeling?"

"I think my hand still hurts," Tohru said as she slowly stood over and with Yuki and Shigure's help. She looked around her and gave a sigh of relief that the kitchen was somewhat intact. She winced as she saw the mess on the oven and smelled the burning remains of something. She looked at Yuki. "Now do you believe me? Didn't I tell you it was an evil Negi-san? That we should try and throw it away instead of using it?"

"Evil is not the word that I would call that spring onion," Shigure said as he involuntarily looked at the still onion. "I would use some other words for it. Is that all? Can we get rid of it now?"

"I think we'd better," Kyo said as he entered the kitchen, red-faced, fully dressed and holding a towel around his hand. He looked down at the onion and glared at it before looking at Tohru and meeting her eyes. "Hatori answered the phone just now. Your grandfather called."

"My grandfather?" Tohru echoed blankly. "My grandfather just called?"

"Yes, he did," Hatori said as he entered the room. Looking as collected as he could, considering he was only in his pants. "He wants you to come over to the house in two days and discuss your future." He looked at Shigure briefly. "He also said that he was having a lawyer present."

"My future?" Tohru repeated as she looked at Hatori then at the onion near her feet. Her heart started racing. "My future? A lawyer?"

"What the Hell does he mean that he's going to have a lawyer present?" Kyo yelped. "And what does he mean about her future?"

"Oh, dear," Shigure said as he looked at the onion. "And usually a lawyer present means some form of legalities should be involved. Tohru was right, that is an evil onion."

"Legalities?" Kyo echoed as he stared at the onion with a pale face. He swung his gaze from the onion to Shigure then Hatori. "As in guardianship?"

"Guardianship?" Tohru squeaked as she looked at Hatori. "My guardianship?"

"He didn't say," Hatori answered as he looked at Tohru. He stood in front of her and took her ice cold hands into his. "We only know that he wants to see you. It'll be all right, don't make yourself sick by worrying. Now let me take you to bed, that was a nasty fall you had."

Shigure sighed quietly, "Yes, let me do the worrying."

"Devil Incarnate is what that onion is," Yuki said as he put his hand on his forehead. He looked at Kyo and Shigure. "We have to get rid of it. And she's not going alone to see her grandfather."

"No shit, Sherlock," Kyo muttered as he stared at Hatori calming Tohru down. Jealousy gnawed at him as he saw her smile at his older cousin. "There ain't no way that I'm gonna touch that damn thing now or let her go into that house of piranhas alone."

"Oh, okay, Hatori-san," Tohru said meekly as she kept her head down. She caught looked at the evil onion and sighed. She bowed low to the onion. "I apologize for the trouble I caused you, Negi-san. May I see you again next year."

As everyone looked at her bowed head incredulously, Hatori sighed and did the same. "I apologize for the trouble we have caused you, Negi-san. May we meet again next year." He put his hand on Tohru's shoulder. "Now let's go upstairs."

"You've got to be kidding me," Kyo said after a moment. "She apologized to- that's just-"

"After all that's happened in this kitchen, do you really want to say anything about the power of Negi-san," Shigure asked as he looked at Kyo. "And it had better be word for word just in case. Tohru did warn us about Negi-san."

Kyo stared at Shigure then looked at the onion. Cold sweat went down his back. "I apologize for the trouble we caused you, Negi-san. May we meet again next year."

As Yuki and Shigure did the same apology, Kyo tapped his foot impatiently. "We gotta plan something."

"Yes, but first thing is first," Shigure said calmly as he started out the kitchen. He waited until his younger cousins looked at him. "We must order some food. I'm starving! And I'll order something romantic for Hatori and Tohru-kun."

As Shigure disappeared, Yuki started after him. "Of all the stupid things-" He stopped when he saw a bandaged hand on his arm. He looked to see the stupid neko hold on to him. "What?"

Red-faced, Kyo looked at his nemesis. "You'd better hit him twice as hard. I won't be able to do it for a while."