I said," I'm afraid to let her in."

Heather looked into my eyes and asked," What are you afraid of Sarah?"

I said," Of loosing myself, or her."

We sat there for a minute and Olivia sat down beside me and asked," How would you lose yourself?"

I said," I can't handle loosing anyone else. I couldn't make it if I did. I couldn't pick up the pieces of my life and carry on again. I just can't."

She said," Sarah, I'm not going anywhere."

I got up and walked towards my room.

I turned back and said," Olivia, you can't even go to work without carrying a gun."

I crawled into my closet and shut the door. I turned on the light and pulled my box out from it's new hiding place.

I opened the box and took of deep breath of the smell I missed so much.

I sat wondering what I would put in a box if anything ever happened to Olivia.

What had she left behind for me to keep to remember her by?

We had never done anything together like I had with my mom.

I didn't have any notes written on napkins that were tucked into my lunch box.

There was only one picture of us together and it was one my mom had taken when I was small.

The truth was there was nothing I could put into a box if anything ever happened to Olivia.

I was already having problems remembering my mom even with this box, how would I remember Olivia without one?

Olivia knocked on the door of my closet and opened it before I had had a chance to hide box.

She asked," What's that? I smell…roses…"

I could tell she knew what it was so I just looked at her for a second before I asked the question I had just finished asking myself.

I asked," What would I put in your box if you don't come home one day?"

She asked," Sarah, why are you even thinking about this?"

I said," Because I lost my mother and you are all I have and you leave me everyday to go chase people who hurt other people. I have no promises that at the end of the day you are going to come home."

Olivia said," Sarah, I will come home from work. I will always come home to you."

I said," Olivia you're a cop. You are in danger every day you go to work. My mother went out to get a birthday cake and never came back. I almost expect for one day Heather to tell me you're not coming home. But what I want to know is what I'm going to put into your box once you're gone."

She asked," What did you put in your mom's"

I said," Pictures, notes, perfume, and my memories."

She said," Then that's what you would put into mine, but you will never need to."

I said," I wouldn't have any of those things anyway, you don't have time for things like that."

She looked me dead in the eyes and asked," Things like what?"

I said as I looked back and a tear rolled down my face," The things that really matter."