"Should"
By: darkemptyheart/DarkSeductress
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: Naruto/Sakura/Sasuke
Summary: Sakura should hate. Naruto should leave. Sasuke should die. But somehow they can't bring themselves to.
Spoilers: All of Japanese Manga and Anime
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Naurto.
Author's Note: This is a continuation of Silence. I would advise reading that first, though I think both are pretty much stand-alone pieces.
Should Hate
Bitterness that grows.
She knows deep down inside, she should hate them both. She has enough strength to hate them, it's never a question of that. They both have given her enough bitterness, empty promises, and betrayals to last a life time. It would be so easy for her to hate them. Sometimes she does hate them.
She hates the black-haired man and it's evident when she spars him. It's not obvious at first, but the longer they spar, the more she remembers all the things she refused to let haunt her: a stone bench, a curse seal, and a worthless 'thank you' . This is when she hates him. This is when she tries to kill him. Her rage and bitterness intertwine and build up so strong, that she must release it. When she does, later she can watch with cold satisfaction from her Sensei's arms as the bruises that mark her heart appear on his broken body.
She hates the blond-haired man, too. Her despise of him is less evident, but when he runs after her and begs her to come back, she hates him. He is a broken man, a shadow of who he was and she hates him for it. Out of the three of them, he should not have changed. So she punches him, hoping to break something, maybe even kill him, but there are no bruises for her to celebrate over as he heals within minutes. There is only the sad understanding in his once bright blue eyes and when he holds her as she silently breaks apart, she hates him more than the black-haired man because he has always understood, even now.
She wants to hate them and succeeds sometimes, but can't allow the emotion to consume her. They are all she has left.
Should Leave
Can't walk away from the pain.
He wants to leave them. They are both broken, bitter, and angry. But so is he. Still, he shoud leave them. This life isn't what he had planned, it isn't what he wanted. He wanted to become Hokage one day and possibly marry the pink-haired woman with the black-haired man as his best-friend. Such dreams seem so far away now and childish. All of them are too damaged to be more than what they are now. They could never go back to the way they were: a loud obnoxious brat with seemingly impossible dreams; a hopeless romantic girl pinning away over a boy; and an avenger learning to let go of his pain.
The black-haired man took that away from them the moment he decided to run. He left them behind: him for dead, her on a stone-bench. And now, the black-haired man skulks around bitter, unloved, unpopular, and unwanted by all, but them. The ones he betrayed.
He should leave, if only because of the black-haired man and what he did to them. He can't bring himself to leave out the door.
The pink-haired woman is so bitter now. He sees it in her. She will never be the wife of an avenger or future Hokage. The knowledge burns inside of her. Sometimes the blond-haired man can't bring himself to care. She's always been selfish and has always looked down on him. She blames him for a promise he could not keep, as if he doesn't blame himself enough. She used to blame herself for not being strong enough, but now the guilt is projected on him.
He should leave, if only because of the pink-haired woman and her hatred of him. He can't bring himself to leave a shell of her former-self for everyone to see.
They are his burdens and only his. No one else can have them, until he's fixed them. He's determined to fix them, return them to some semblance of their former selves. The pink-haired woman will giggle and need them again. The black-haired man will stare at them with an arrogant smirk. And he will become hokage with them by his side and he will smile again.
Should Die
Death is the solution.
He should have died. Death would have been preferable to this existence. He had never planned life after his brother's death, because frankly he had never planned to live past it. He figured, they would have died together, both giving the other a killing blow. His clan would end there and his soul would rest.
But they never gave him the chance. His brother is still alive out there somewhere and he is left with them. Two people who have more reason to hate him than the whole village. He betrayed them, that he will never deny. It was calculated and deliberate. Through their hatred and contempt, he would have severed all emotional ties he had to any person and would have been able to extract his revenge. They just wouldn't let go.
Sure both of them hated him, but it wasn't enough. They wouldn't leave him. If only they abandoned him, he could fulfill his mission in life. They didn't leave him then and they wouldn't leave him now.
He could leave them, but he wouldn't. He didn't exactly understand it. Maybe it was because they were giving him the thing the one person he had cared most for gave him: hate. People had always loved and adored him. Girls wanted to be his wife. Guys wanted to have his blood-line limit.
His brother had been the first to hate him and he would have chased the man to the depths of hell and back. No matter what his brother did, he always returned like a battered wife. With them it was no different, the more the pink-haired woman's contempt grew for him, the more he clung to her. The more the blond-haired man hated him, the more convinced he was that he should stay.
Hate was his drug of choice. It should be love. They should love and care for each other, not add to the damage, but none of them had ever been good at following society's dictations.
This is why he should die. He created them. He molded them into the broken, soulless creatures they had become. Without him, they could rebuild their lives together: the blond-haired man would become hokage, forgetting his silly personal oath to fix them first; and the pink-haired woman would finally realize the blond-haired man was truly deserving of her love, and stop waiting for them all to be fixed. And he would be dead, able to rest and forget his sins.
But every time he stood on the bridge itching to dive in, or when he stood on the top of Hokage Mountain preparing to plunge to the ground, or when he held a kunai in his hand wondering how much blood he could bleed out his body, he just couldn't do it. It had nothing to do with not wanting to take the coward's way out. It had everything to do with his own selfishness.
He needed their hate. He was drawn to it like a moth to fire. He would not live without it. This was truly cowardly and made him a bastard. He could fix them and give them the peace they deserved, but he would not.
Broken Together
Undone apart.
The pink-haired woman should hate them.
The blond-haired man should leave them.
The black-haired man should die.
All three were too selfish or maybe self-preserving to do what they thought was right. So they laid together at night in a tangle of limbs wanting to hate, leave, and die. Three things they had the strength to do, but not the will power. They could not leave the others alone, whether it meant torment and broken-dreams for the rest of their lives or not.
Besides, they rationalized in their minds: who else would want their broken souls, but them?