Diamonds are a Fuzzy Dude's Best Friend

Chapter 11: The Sirens Strike Back

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel.

Shout Outs-

LuvDaFussyDude- Thanks for all the reviews. I didn't make Emma Frost up; she is a character from the comics.

Ruby631- Why would I want to insult redheads? Redheads are my favourites. Well, Rahne, Wanda, Mary Jane and Rachel are. A fetish for Tabby/Amara? I wouldn't put it that way but I do have a fondness for the pairing.

Ldypebsaby- Ah, I can't reveal Evil Jean just yet, I have a cunning plan…

Goddess123452003- Damn straight! Kurt4-Ever! Woot!

Needles- Yup, Hank's costume was a reference to the doctor in the original series of Star Trek.

GothikStrawberry- Yup, costume parties are always good for a laugh in fanfiction.

TheLegendaryManHimself- Yup, Emma bought out the ol' Hellfire costume. It was only a matter of time until I had her wear that.

Agent-G- I'm not quite sure what you were saying about Wanda. Were you insinuating that I was hinting that she was gay?

Bayville-

Emma and the rest of the Sirens, Rahne, Tabitha, Amara, Jubilee, Wanda and Kitty were sitting in a café gossiping over coffee. They had just finished a shopping spree and were killing time until they had to be back at the mansion.

'I can't believe you and Kurt did it in the X-Jet!' Jubilee giggled. 'That is filthy!'

'Oh, like you haven't thought of doing that with Bobby.' Emma chuckled.

'What?' Jubilee gasped dramatically. 'I would never dream of such a thing!'

'Don't lie to a telepath sweetie.' Emma tutted. 'It's demeaning.'

'At least somebody's getting laid.' Tabby sniffed. 'All these hot chicks about and none of it's coming my way.'

'Ahem.' Amara coughed. 'I am right here you know.'

'Yeah, and I appreciate that, sweetie.' Tabby replied. Patting Amara's hand. 'I really do but, my clock's ticking. I'm not getting any older.'

'Tabby, you're like, sixteen.' Kitty said. 'You shouldn't be thinking of stuff like that at your age.'

'Oh, and I suppose you weren't.' Tabby snorted. 'Didn't you get any sweaty thoughts about Colossus? That big, sexy Russian must be packing a huge…'

'Tabitha!' Kitty hissed, blushing bright pink.

'Ah, the truth is out.' Emma chuckled. 'Kitty has lusty wrong feelings about the hot Russian.'

'Well, I sometimes stay awake at night thinking about him.' Kitty admitted.

'Is that what you call it?' Tabby teased. 'I've heard it called lots of things but thinking isn't one of them.'

'Tabitha Smith, your mind is positively filthy.' Emma said, shaking her head slightly. 'And that's coming from me.'

'I think we should like, stop now.' Kitty said. 'We're embarrassing Rahne.'

'You're all right with us talking filth, aren't you Furtop?' Tabby asked, patting the young Scot on the shoulder. 'We're not embarrassing you, are we?'

'I've heard worse from the wee ones back in Kinross.' Rahne replied. 'Dinnae worry about me, carry on actin' like a gang o' strumpets.'

'Strumpets?' Emma chuckled. 'That's the most adorable thing I've ever been called. You really know how to make a girl feel welcome.'

'It was the most polite thing I could think of.' Rahne said.

'What about you, Wanda?' Emma asked. 'You're awfully quiet all of a sudden.'

'Yeah, and Wanda is renown for being a chatter-box.' Tabby snickered.

Emma just shot her friend and teammate with a glare and turned to Wanda.

'Wanda, are you okay?' Emma asked once more.

Wanda snapped out of her daydream and turned to Emma and the others.

'I was just thinking.' She replied simply.

'Care to enlighten us?' Emma prompted.

'I don't want to talk about it.' Wanda replied.

'Come on, we're all friends here.' Emma said. 'Your secret is safe with us.'

Wanda looked at the others all in turn as she tried to gauge their reactions. Even though she had been with them for a short while, she had grown to trust them. How would they react to the news that she had?

Wanda took a deep breath before continuing.

'I think there's something wrong with Jean.' Wanda said simply.

'You mean besides the fact that she's a Little Miss Perfect Priss?' Tabby asked. 'That's not exactly news to us.'

'Haven't you noticed that she's been acting a little bit unusual lately?' Wanda continued. 'I don't know what it is but I've got the feeling that there's something wrong with her.'

'Come tae think of it, she has been extra clingy towards Scott recently.' Rahne said. 'Ye dinnae think that she's…?'

'Pregnant?' Kitty asked. 'Jean and Scott would never be so careless.'

'It only takes one mistake, Kitty.' Emma replied. 'Let's say that for some reason they chose to forgo the usual protection…'

'I still think it's not like Jean.' Kitty said. 'Letting herself get pregnant?'

'Well love does make you do the wacky.' Jubilee shrugged.

'I guess we'll have to tell Moira when we get back.' Emma shrugged. 'She'd want to know whether somebody's been accidentally knocked u…'

The rest of the Sirens looked at Emma as the blonde's eyes widened in fear.

'Everybody down!'

The Sirens did as they were told and dived to the ground as a car came sailing through the window, demolishing the inside of the café and sending patrons diving for cover.

'What the Hell was that?' Tabby asked as she cautiously peered around an upturned table.

The other Sirens peered around their respective methods of cover and gasped in surprise at what they saw. A guy in a quilted yellow and red suit was fighting with a slightly smaller guy dressed in a red and blue costume.

'No way.' Jubilee breathed. 'Tell me that can't be…'

'Spider-Man!' Amara replied. 'Spider-Man is in Bayville!'

'Why would Spider-Man be in Bayville?' Wanda asked. 'I thought he was based in Manhattan.'

'It doesn't matter right now.' Emma replied. 'This is our town and we have to show the quilted freak that Bayville doesn't take kindly to supervillains!'

Outside-

Spider-Man was fighting for his life against second-rate supervillain and glorified henchman, the Shocker. Well, calling it fighting for his life was an exaggeration; Spider-Man was taking his time with the fight, carrying out his usual repartee of taunts towards the quilt-wearing villain.

'Seriously Sparky, who made your costume? Your Mom?'

'Don't you dare talk about my mother, ya freak!' The Shocker yelled. 'You ain't got no right!'

'I've got as much a right as doing this…' Spider-Man replied as he shot a blob of webbing into the Shocker's face.

'Aww sonova…' Shocker hissed as he tried to rip the webbing from his face. 'I'll fry you for this!'

With his vision obscured, the Shocker began to shoot wildly, his gauntlets shooting out vibro-waves all over the place. Spider-Man managed to dodge most of them but one of the blasts hit him in the chest, sending him crashing against an abandoned truck.

'Oh, this is too sweet.' The Shocker said as he finally ripped the webbing from his face. 'I'm gonna finish this once and for all…'

Before the Shocker could liquidise Spider-Man with another blasts, his gauntlets began to glow with mysterious blue energy.

'What the fu…'

The Shocker didn't have time to finish his question as his gauntlets exploded, sending him sailing through a shop window.

'Good job Wanda.' Emma said, clad in her usual Sirens attire of white leather hot pants, boots and vest top. 'Let's make sure that this guy stays down…'

The rest of the Sirens did as they were told and surrounded the shop window that the Shocker had fallen through.

'I'll get who ever did that to me…' The Shocker said. 'I don't need my gauntlets to kick your butts!'

The Shocker then stopped and looked around him at the squad of teenage girls.

'Oh this is priceless, a bunch o' girls wanna try their stuff.' He snickered. 'What'cha gonna do? Hit me with your Barbies?'

'Oh we can do a fair sight more than that…' Emma said via her telepathy. 'We are no mere teenagers…'

The Shocker let out a scream of pain and clutched his head as Emma zapped him with a mind bolt.

'Nnn. Get outta my head…' The Shocker hissed as he stumbled out of the shop window.

Amara was next up as she sent a fireball at the Shocker, exploding at his feet and engulfing the lower part of his costume in fire.

'Oh God it burns!' The Shocker screamed. 'Put it out! Put it out!'

'Whatever ye say, laddie.' Rahne replied as she changed into her werewolf form and leapt at him, knocking him to the floor and tearing at his quilted costume.

Next up was Tabitha who carefully dropped a time bomb down the back of Shocker's costume.

'Fire in the hold!' Tabby yelled as she ducked for cover.

The other Sirens followed suit and dived behind a nearby car as Tabby's time bomb exploded, obliterating the rest of the Shocker's costume and eliciting a high-pitched scream from the villain.

Even after the beating he had just been dealt, the Shocker refused to fall down.

'Not done yet…'

'Oh you're done alright.' Jubilee replied. 'Kitty, it's over to you!'

Kitty rose up through the sidewalk behind the Shocker and grabbed his legs, partially phasing him through the ground.

Spider-Man finally regained consciousness and saw a gang of leather-lad girls standing over the Shocker.

'Man, colour me embarrassed.' Spider-Man muttered to himself. 'Saved by a bunch of girls. Hot ones at that. Hot leather-clad girls. Gah! Mind out the gutter Spidey, they're jailbait. Dirty, dirty Spidey…'

'No need to thank us, Spider-Man.' Emma said, giving the Web-Slinger a jaunty salute. 'It was all in a day's work for the Friendly Neighbourhood Sirens!'

'Okay, I don't mind you saving my butt but stealing my catchphrases?' Spider-Man asked. 'That's a big no-no.'

'A thank you wouldn't go amiss.' Jubilee sniffed.

'Oh thank you mysterious leather-clad teenagers.' Spider-Man replied. 'How may I repay you?'

'Okay, now you're like, abusing sarcasm.' Kitty aid.

Spider-Man prodded the unconscious Shocker with a foot.

'Have you ladies got any idea how I can get Sparky out of the sidewalk?' He asked.

Kitty just grabbed onto the Shocker and phased him back through the ground.

'Oh, okay.' Spider-Man blinked. 'That would work…'

Spider-Man webbed the Shocker against a lamppost then turned to look at Wanda who had her head cocked with a dreamy look on her face.

'Were you just checking out my butt?' Spider-Man asked.

'No…' Wanda lied, her eyes darting about nervously. 'I did no such thing…'

Spider-Man just crossed his arms and looked at the young woman.

'Okay, I was checking out your butt.' Wanda admitted. 'It's a nice butt…'

'Umm, thanks?' Spider-Man replied, not exactly sure how to take the compliment.

'I don't suppose you're single, are you?' Wanda asked, surprising the rest of the Sirens at her courage.

'W-well, there's nobody in my life right now…' Spider-Man replied, scratching the back of his neck.

'Good.' Wanda nodded 'Call me.' She then handed the number of the Xavier Institute and kissed Spider-Man on the cheek. 'And I'm counting on it…'

'You'd better do what she says.' Tabby said. 'You don't want to make her angry. You won't like her when she's angry.'

'O-okay. I'll keep that in mind.' Spider-Man replied, rapidly becoming more afraid of these young women by the moment. 'I-I think I'd better go now…'

The Sirens looked into the sky as Spider-Man shot out a webline and swung away.

'Wow, way to go Wanda.' Emma said, patting her friend on the shoulder. 'You finally got the guts to ask a guy out.'

'Well I thought that I might as well seize the moment.' Wanda shrugged. 'You'll never know what the next day brings, perhaps going nuts and destroying Avengers Mansion.'

'Yeah, like that's gonna happen.' Tabby snorted.

TBC…

Next: Night of the Phoenix

Jean's behaviour continues to become more erratic by the moment. Could she actually be pregnant? And do the grisly murders around town have anything to do with her mood-swings? Tune in next time to find out…