We got in the car, but I didn't say anything.

Olivia asked," What's wrong?"

I said," My mom didn't have a dangerous job, but she's still not here anymore. I'm serious Olivia, if anything ever happens to you, I won't make it."

She took my hands in hers and said," Sarah, your mom was in an accident. It was something that wasn't supposed to happen and it wasn't her fault. I'm sorry you are afraid of me going to work, but I also know that you know how important my job is to other people. We are careful and I will be okay. Come on, let's run by the precinct before we head home."

We walked into her office. I sat down at her desk and she walked into Captain Cragen's office.

Elliot was sitting down doing paperwork.

He saw on my face the fear I was trying so hard to hide.

He said," I'll take care of her Sarah. Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to her."

I smiled and Olivia walked back out. She asked," What are you smiling about?"

I said," Nothing, are we going home?"

She said," Yeah, come on."

We drove home and I went into the living room and turned on the TV. I slid in a tape from off the shelf and turned and called," Olivia, do you want to watch a tape with me?"

She called back from her room," I have to do my paper work before Monday and I have a lot to get done."

I begged," Please, please, you have to come watch this with me."

She walked in and asked," What are you watching that I just have to watch?"

I hit the play button and she walked around without saying anything and sat down beside me.

The voice started from the screen," It's February 14th, and it's Sarah's fifth birthday. There's Aunt Olivia, and here are Sarah's best friend. There's the birthday girl."

Olivia wrapped her arm around me.

My five year old self appeared on the screen.

My mom asked," How old are you?"

I held up five fingers. She asked," How many is that?"

I whispered to the camera like it was a secret," It's five"

Olivia walked up behind me and tickled me before picking me up.

I laughed and kissed her. She said," Happy Birthday Sarah."

I said as I laughed," I love you Aunt Olivia."

Then the camera flipped back to the cake and I hit the mute.

I asked," Why did I stop calling you Aunt Olivia?"

She pulled out from under me and said," When you turned seven your mom threw you your very first sleep over party, and I promised to be there. But I had a case and I decided to stay and work it instead of letting someone else take over and I missed your party. I tired for weeks to get you to talk to me, but you wouldn't. Finally, I just left you alone and eventually you started to talk to me again, but you never called me Aunt Olivia again."

I said," I think every bad memory before my mom died is gone…except for my dad. Olivia…"

She asked," Yeah?"

I said," I don't want to testify in the trail."

She turned to look me dead in the eyes and softened her voice and said," I know that you don't, but without your testimony you know your dad will walk."

I sat there fighting off tears and said," I can't face him Olivia, I can't."

She wrapped her arms around me and held me close. She brushed the hair back away from my face and kissed my forehead and whispered," I know you're stronger than you think."

I fell asleep there in her arms on the couch. She covered me up and let me sleep there.

I woke up the next morning to a face I hadn't seen in weeks.

Heather rubbed my cheek until I had woken up.

She smiled and then said," I know you can do it. You're a strong, beautiful person, and you have a strong soul. You can do this Sarah. You can do it."