Sorry it took so long to update...more to come soon.

Olivia walked in and said," We have a meeting with Casey today, and then we're going too go see Elizabeth again to talk about the trail."

I said," Olivia, I can't face him."

She took my hand and said," Sarah, sweetie, look at me. You can do this. We're going to do this together."

I looked at her fighting to lock all my emotions inside.

Heather could read it all on my face, and I think Olivia could read some of them too.

Heather said," Go get ready, it'll be okay."

When we walked into the court house I walked behind Olivia up to Casey's office.

Olivia knocked and the opened the door. Casey stood up and said," Hey. Hi Sarah, Come in and have seat." She cut right to the chase," Olivia said you're worried about testifying. Can you tell me what scares you the most?"

I said," I don't know."

There was a knock on the door and Dr. Olivet came in.

She said hello to everyone and then sat down beside me.

She said," Olivia called me, I know we were supposed to meet later, but I thought maybe if we all met together we could figure out how to make you more comfortable about the trial."

I looked down at my hands and curled my feet up underneath me.

She asked," What is bothering you?"

I didn't look up, I just shook my head and said," I don't know."

She said," Yes you do. Sarah, what scares you the most about this trail?"

I said," I can't face him. I don't want to face him."

She said," You can face him, you already have. Sarah, you said no and you fought back. You said no."

I said," I can't tell people. I can't tell them what he did."

She asked softly," Why not?"

I said," I just can't. I won't."

Casey knelled down and said," Without you he's going to hurt someone else. I know you know that, and I know that you want to help, but you're scared. So tell me what I can do so you won't be scared anymore."

I looked Olivia dead in the eyes and said," I don't want to do it Olivia. I can't tell people what he did to me."

Olivia knelled down in front of me and took my hands in hers.

She asked," Why can't you tell people?"

Everyone's eyes were fixed on me waiting for an answer.

I said quietly," Because every time I talk about it, it feel like it's happening all over again. I can't relive it in a court room full of people. Olivia, I can't even sleep without the lights being on and me being wrapped up in a blanket wearing long sleeves and pants. How can I tell other people when I can't even convince myself he can't hurt me? I can't go into the same room as him and tell all those people what he did. I can't. I can't."

Elizabeth said," Sarah look at me."

I looked over at her fighting to hold all my emotions inside.

She asked," Besides raping you, what is the worst thing your step dad ever did to you?"

I sat there for a minute. A tear rolled down my face and I said as tears tore through my voice," When I was seven I made a B on a project he helped me on. He yelled at me and told me I must have messed with something after I got to school, because nothing he made would ever get a B. Then he hit me over and over before he threw me through the TV."

She asked," did you go to the hospital?"

I shook my head no.

She asked," Did your teacher's not see the marks?"

I said," He told them I was sick that week, and if they saw them any other time they chose not to say anything. I was trapped inside a nightmare with no way out, and I'm in it again."

She said," Yes, you are, but you have a way out."

I asked," How? How do I make this end?"

She said," You tell those people in that room every thing he has done to you and put him away for a very long time. You have the chance to end this. You can make the nightmare end."

I said as a tear fell from my cheek," I'm not strong enough."

Olivia took my hand again and said," You're the strongest person I've ever met. If anyone could do this you can. I know you are ready to see justice and you deserve it the most. Help us put him away Sarah. Help us by telling your story."

I looked at Heather and asked," Will you stay with me?"

She said," Always, I will always be here when you need me."

I looked at Olivia; she knew what I wanted to ask.

She said," You couldn't get rid of me even if you tried."

I smiled and said," I'll try to do the trial, but what if I change my mind?"

Casey said," You can change your mind, but if you do it's going to put him back out there, but if you tell your story he won't ever be able to hurt you again."

I asked," Promise?"

She looked me square in the eyes and said," I promise."

I said," Okay, I'll do it."