Warning: has some scenes that some people might find offensive. Deals directly with rape and sexual abuse. If this bothers you please don't read this chapter! No complaint about it because you have been warned.

I rewrote this chapter...thanks for pointing out the weaknesses, and hopefully this is much better...it feel more acurate and realistic. Please R&R and thanks again for the reviews, please keep them coming. they never get old.

sherryfan1

The week between that meeting and the trial flew past.

Olivia woke me up this morning.

I feel so sick to my stomach. I don't know if I can do this. I can't even get out of bed.

Olivia walked back into my room. She sat down on the bed beside me and said," You have to get up and get dressed Sweetie. We have to be at the court house in an hour and a half."

I said," I feel sick."

She leaned over me and looked me dead in the eyes she said," I know that you're nervous, and that's okay. You can do this, you're not doing it alone. We are all going to be there and he can't hurt you."

A tear escaped from my eye.

She wiped it away and said," Come on get up, Heather's here and she has a surprise for you."

She left and I got dressed.

I walked out and Heather had made my favorite breakfast, eggs, that we still just a little wet not dry like Olivia made them, and chocolate chip pancakes.

I sat down and we all ate together.

I brushed my teeth and Olivia pulled my hair up into a ponytail.

Then finished wrapping the pony tail holder around my hair and kissed the top of my head as we stood in front of the mirror.

She said," You're going to do great. Come on."

We rode in Olivia's car to the court house.

Casey met us outside of the courtroom.

She said," Okay, you and Heather are going to wait out here until the court officer comes to get you. Olivia's going to come in with me now because she has to talk first. It's going to be okay. Just be strong for a little longer."

She and Olivia walked into the courtroom and I sat down on the bench beside Heather.

My stomach was in knots, my heart was pounding, and my palms were all sweaty when the door opened that the officer called my name.

Heather stood up and took my hand she said," Come on. You can do this. I know you can. We're right here for you."

The officer led me up to the seat and swore me in. I kept my eyes locked on Olivia who was sitting behind Casey.

Casey stood up and walked over in front of me. She made sure to stand so I couldn't see my dad when I looked up.

She said," Can you say your full name for the record?"

I said," Sarah Elizabeth Camden"

She said," Sarah, how old are you?"

I looked at her and said," I'm twelve."

She asked," Who do you live with?"

I said," I live with Olivia Benson."

She asked," Why do you live with Olivia, why not with you parents?"

I said," My mom died almost a year ago and my dad didn't want anymore kids, so he left after I was born."

She asked," Who is that man sitting over there?"

She pointed to my step dad.

I answered," That's my step dad."

She asked," You're mom divorced him. Can you tell me why?"

I said," He became abusive, to her… and to me."

She asked," How was he abusive?"

I said," He started by just yelling at us all the time, but then he started to hit us."

She asked," Why didn't you mom leave him?"

I said," We did, more than once, but he always found us. We couldn't get away."

She asked," Your mom was best friends with Detective Benson, why didn't she tell her?"

I said," She tried once, but Olivia was so consumed by her cases…my mom gave up trying."

She asked," What happened on you fourth birthday?"

I said," I was in my bedroom after my mom had tucked me in and gone to work. I saw the light from the door opening on my ceiling. I looked over and then the door shut and my room when dark…and then he came into my bed. I cried for him to stop, but he wouldn't. I laid there in tears until he left. Then I went and took a bath, and curled up in my closet and fell asleep. He came in every night after that while my mom was at work. I hated it, but I knew it was going to happen."

She looked me dead in the eyes and asked," Sarah, why didn't you ever tell anyone?"

A tear rolled down my face as I answered," I did. I told my teacher once. She said I shouldn't say things like that when they weren't true."

She asked," Why didn't you ever tell anyone else, or Olivia?"

I said," My teacher didn't believe me. I didn't think anyone would believe me. I didn't even know that it was wrong. No one ever told me it was wrong until I got into second grade, and then they wouldn't believe me when I tried to tell them. I guess I just gave up. I just gave up."

She asked," What made this time different?"

I said," I'm twelve, I know it's wrong and I won't let him do it anymore. Not this time."

She asked," What did he do this time?"

I said," he picked me up from school the week Heather was out of town. I hoped he had changed while he was in prison. He told my mom he had changed, but he hadn't. I went into my room and shut my door, but he came in again, just like when I was little."

She asked," Did you tell him no or fight?"

I said," I screamed, and I fought, but he's stronger than I am. I couldn't get away. I tried but I couldn't get away."

She asked," What did he do to you?"

I looked down and said," He raped me. Every day after school he raped me."

She asked," Sarah, why didn't you tell Olivia after the first time?"

I said as tears followed steadily down my face," No one believed me last time, I didn't know if she'd believe me."

She asked," Did she believe you when you finally told her?"

I shook my head yes.

Casey said," You have to answer out loud."

I said," Yes."

She asked," What did her do when you told her?"

I said," She called Elliot, her partner, and they came to the apartment to collect evidence and they took me to the hospital."

She asked," What happened at the hospital?"

I said," They did a rape kit and I talked to a rape crisis counselor."

She said," Thank you Sarah."

Then she turned to the judge and said," I have no further questions."

She sat down and I knew the part I feared the most was coming.

The other lawyer stood up and walked towards me.

He stood so if I looked at him I would have to see my step dad too.

He said," Good afternoon Sarah. My name is Mr. Layson, Do you mind if I ask you a few question?"

I said," No."

He asked," How long were you mom and step dad married?"

I said," Six years."

He said," So your step dad molested you for two years and your mom never left him."

I said," I told you, we tried, but he kept finding us."

He asked," Why didn't you go to the police? Why wouldn't you try to tell someone else?"

I said at the brink of losing it," I tried to tell my teacher and she didn't believe me. I was five, I didn't think anyone would believe me."

He asked," Did you go to the doctor when you were little?"

I said," Yes."

He asked," Why didn't the doctor ever see that you were being abused?"

I said," My step dad always took me, and he would let them look."

He asked," Don't you think that would make them suspicious?"

I said," I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a kid."

He said," That's right your just a kid. Do you know what it means to lie?"

I said," It's when you make something up to cover up something that could get you in trouble."

He asked," Have you ever lied?"

I looked at him and said," Everyone lies."

He asked," What if I said I think you're lying about your step dad?"

I looked him dead in the eyes and said," I'd say the doctors think you're wrong."

I could tell I threw him a little bit.

He gathered his thought and asked," Did you love your step dad?"

I looked down.

I sat there a minute and said," He was the only father I ever knew."

He asked," Did you love him?"

I almost yelled," Yes, he was my dad!"

He asked," Do you still love him?"

I looked down as tears rolled from my eyes again and said softly," Yes, on some level I will always love him. He's my dad."

The lawyer looked at the judge and said," That's all I have."

The Judge said," I have a few questions before you step down."

I looked up at her.

She asked," Do you understand what you're accusing your step dad of and what can happen to him if he did what you're saying he did?"

I shook my head yes.

She asked," Can you tell me?"

I said," If they believe me then my step dad can go to jail for a long time, and he'll never be able to hurt me or anyone else ever again. He hurt me like no one is ever supposed to. He was my dad and I trusted him, and he hurt me."

She said," You aren't doing this because you're mad because he punished you?"

I said," He never punished me after I was four, he just raped me."

She said," Okay, you can go back with Detective Benson. Thank you for telling us your story."

I walked down and sat by Olivia. She wrapped her arm around me and squeezed my shoulder.

The judge gave her instructions to the jury and then the jury went back to deliberate. After court was put in recess, Casey turned around and looked at me.

She said," You three should go get something to eat…it might be a while before the jury comes back. Thank you Sarah. You were very brave."

Olivia looked down at me and said," Sarah, I'm proud of you. She's right, you were very brave. Come on, let's go get something to eat."

We all went out to get a late lunch. We had been gone about an hour when Olivia's phone rang. It was Casey, the jury was back.

We got the check and then went to the courthouse.

We had just walked in and sat down when the court was called to order and the judge came in followed by the jury.

Olivia wrapped one arm around me and reached out and took my hand with the other. Heather was holding my other hand.

The judge asked," Has the jury reached its verdict?"

The Foreperson stood up and said," Yes we have your honor."

She asked," What say you?"

He said," In the matter of State of New York verses Greg Thomas, on the charge of Rape in the 1st degree, we find the defendant guilty, on the charge of sexual abuse in the 1st degree, we find the defendant guilty."

The judge said," The court would like to thank you for your service. If everyone agrees, I'm ready to sentence now."

Both lawyers agreed.

She said," For the first charge of 1st degree rape, I hereby sentence you to forty years without parole, on the second charge of 1st degree sexual abuse, I hereby sentence you to ten year, these sentences are to run consecutively. Thank you. Court is dismissed."

I was so relieved. He couldn't hurt me or anyone else ever again. He'd be eighty before he could even get out. I hugged Olivia tight.

She asked," What do you want to do now?"

I asked," Can we go home and cook together?"

She said," Yeah, Tell Heather bye and let's get going."

Olivia talked to Casey while I went to tell Heather bye.

I walked up to Olivia.

Casey asked," How do you feel?"

I said," I'm glad someone finally believed me. Thank you."