Dreams End

Chapter 5- The Doubt of Love

Neko Kamiya

***Disclaimer*** ~I don't own Digimon or any of it's characters.~***Disclaimer***

(I forgot that in the first one, so this one's for chapter one too.)

||This story was written over a four year period.

I'm simply posting it again, in order to *finally* finish it.

I just need closure on this fic.||

"Guys! Check it out! This CD player I found really works!" The red-headed energetic girl said with pride.

"You found? I found it!" Her short, dark haired friend said.

"Yeah, but I carried it back, so technically....."

"Technically I still found it!" The girls gave each other evil looks, and stuck their tongues out. Then, they began to laugh.

"Guys, it really doesn't matter who found it! The point is, we can listen to some the radio now, and see if anyone out there can help us." The blonde one said. The other two stared at her, and blinked.

"Yeah... I guess we never thought of that..." The short one said.

"Never thought of that? Why else would you two go to all this trouble for a stereo system?"

"Ummm... to listen to music?" The red-head said.

"Yeah! Some great tunes!" The short one said, as she got up and went over to a bag in the corner. "Now then... what do we have?"

Mimi got up, and went over to the short, dark haired girl.

Mimi looked through the collection of CD the girls were able to pick up, and save. She, remarkably, found one of the bands she was looking for. She handed the CD to the girl nearest to the CD player.

"You want to listen to this one?" She asked. Mimi nodded. "Alright! This is one of my favourite bands! Kick ass!" The red-headed one was really excited by Mimi choice. "You know them?"She asked. Mimi smiled faintly.

'Matt...Matt loved this group.....'She thought. The red-head took the CD , and popped it into the player. The music blared.

"You love , you trust, you do what you're told. You want to and you will, I know you well. But you fight it , it wears you down, it's bigger than you. It's bad for the soul, but it's so good for the moment. But I think I can keep it together, yes I think I can weather it all. 'Cause the sky never falls, and the world never ends. And for all the things I can't control, I have thick skin..."[Thick Skin, by Joydrop]

'But the world has ended' Mimi thought 'How can I deal? She makes it sound so easy.... I can tell why Yamato liked this group. Too bad I don't have 'thick skin'... I could use that..' Her eyes fluttered shut as memories of Matt rushed back to her. She tuned back into reality, but had totally missed a song.

"... nobody's on my side, nobody seems to see how much, how deep, how far these things can be..."[Sometimes Wanna Die, by Joydrop]

'I got no one...... why? Why did I continue living here? I could be with Matt right now..... he'd know everything about me....Yamato.........'She once again fell deep into the few memories she had of Matt. It had gotten to the point where she'd remember every smile Matt had shot her way, or even in her general direction. It was the only thing that kept her going, these sweet, short memories of Matt.

Suddenly, she realized they were nearing the end of the Cd, she had been so lost in her thoughts and memories, she missed most of the songs.

"I'm not what you think I am, I'm anything but the picture you've taken. If I decided to touch the sky, don't bring me down, it's hard enough.

I recognize, in your voice, in your eyes, something's out here waiting, someone out there knows the score.

All I ever really wanted was to fly. I'm pissed off with gravity. Won't you let me go? I need to fly, and I'd like to know. Do you believe? Will you believe? Did you ever believe in me?...."[Do You Believe, by Joydrop]

'Oh.. That sounds so good. To be able to fly away from all this......to Matt.... that would be a dream come true. I wonder if Matt believes in me.... I wonder if I believe in myself........most of all I wonder if I'll ever find out. Death... death would let me fly away from all this... but could I let go? Could I really give up, and let that hold of the possibility of a future with Yamato slip away........ God, this group gets me thinking... about things I'd rather not......no wonder Matt was always lost in thought. With music like this, how could you not be constantly second guessing yourself, and looking for deeper meanings?'She tuned back in to the music to realize it had started again, and was playing all the songs over again, which was good, since she had missed so many.

"...My eyes are dry and I, I still don't even know you I, I still wish that I could hold you I, I sometimes wanna die......"[Sometimes Wanna Die, by Joydrop]

'My thoughts exactly.....'

Back in Japan....

Joe, Izzy, and Matt were walking back to the place they were to meet the others, right were they had parted that morning. The basically walked in silence , except Matt hummed a song by one of his 'Greatest band's ever' , which, of course Joe and Izzy had only heard about from Matt. This time it was Joydrop, and his song of choice was 'Sometimes Wanna Die'. The other two had gotten used to blocking him out. As the approach the spot, they spotted Tai's hair first. 'So, him and Sora are already back... good..' Joe thought.

"Hey Guys! How'd it go?" Tai asked, as soon as they were in speaking distance.

"We got everything, and just ran into a slight problem on our way back.. It took awhile." Izzy said.

"Oh dear! What happened?" Sora asked.

"Just a battle between two Digimon. None of us were hurt or anything, they were just blocking our way." Matt answered.

"Good.. Good..." Tai nodded at him.

"Well, I guess we just have to wait for Kari and T.K. now." Joe said. They waited, and waited. Eventually, they sat down, and Sora fell asleep in Tai's arms.

"Where the bloody hell could they be?" Matt finally said. "We can't wait forever." As he said that, the sound of foot steps echoed through the tunnels.

"What was that?" Tai asked. Just then, Kari appeared in the door way, holding a duffel bag of the supplies they got. Sora woke up.

"Kari!" She said, still a bit drowsy.

"Kari! What kept you? Where's T.K.? You get everything?" Tai asked.

"It's all here. Sorry it took so long, I couldn't remember my way back" She said, in monotones. She threw the bag at her brothers feet.

"Kari, where's my brother?" Matt asked.

"He isn't back? Well, he could be in hell for all I care!" She said.

"What? What happened?"Tai asked.

"Let's just say I finally saw T.K. for who he really was." She said. She seemed so tough on the outside, but inside she was a wreak. 'What have I done? I was so cruel! How could I say those things to him? How could I even think them? What if he never comes back? He could be hurt, or even..." Her stone cold image fell, and she burst into tears, and fell to the ground. Sora ran over to her.

" Kari!" she held her head up. "What happened? Did you and T.K. have a fight?" She nodded slowly.

" I...I said some awful things to him.. I didn't mean it! I was just so angry! What if something happened to him? It'd be all my fault!"

"Aw! Kari! I didn't think you cared!"

"Takeru!" Kari exclaimed. He was leaning against the wall, just in the shadows.'What the hell are you doing here?" She asked, suddenly returning to her previous composure.

"Kari, I believe you're the one who said you were gonna leave! Something about me never seeing you again? Don't tell me you got my hopes up for nothing!"He smiled smugly. She looked at him with pure hatred. She stood up and tried to walk towards him, when Sora held her back. Then, she spit on him. He looked shocked for a second, then he wiped the spit from his face.

'Very mature, Kari! It's no surprise you're back, I knew you couldn't last on your own. You always need to be told what to do!"

"I hate you!"She shrieked at him. He got up, and walked past her.

"The feeling is mutual." He said, as he past her.

"Where do you think you're going? Explain, now!" Tai said to T.K.

"What's to explain? Kari just informed me I killed Davis, because I was taken over by jealousy. Oh, and I guess she thinks I killed my Parents and Angemon just to make it look more real or something like that." Tai looked blankly at his little sister.

"Is that what you told him, Kari?" She turned her head and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Technically....." She finally said, in a small quiet voice.

"Oh, by the way, Kari, Here's what I was really looking for." T.K. threw the two stuffed animals at her. "Looks like they fell apart. Imagine that." She stared at the winged cat and pig in her hand, her eyes were over flooding with tears. She looked up, just to see T.K. Turn the corner back to camp.

"Well, that was exciting."Matt said. He shrugged and followed his brother back to camp. Slowly, everyone else followed Matt's lead. Soon, only Kari and Tai were left.

"Kari......" Her brother said with concern. Her gaze had not left the two stuffed animals in her hands since T.K. left.

"Why, Tai? Why did any of this happen? I didn't mean it! I don't know what I was saying... I regretted every word I said. It was like.... T.K. was just acting so...pig headed! I couldn't help it! I needed to defend myself, I guess. I got him mad... he said that I always do whatever you or him say... he's right.... I don't ever make my own decision! But... he struck a nerve by saying that... I guess deep down I knew he was right, but couldn't deal with the fact that he knew me that well, that he even knew all my faults! I just... I guess I said what I knew would piss him off. I'd never think he did that! I know him.....he's perfect. He's never jealous! Not of anyone! He's just the kindest person I've ever met! Why would I do a stupid thing like this, Tai? I just can't understand why I would hurt him like this.... I...I...I lov..." she burst into tears, and Tai wrapped his arms around her, letting her cry into his chest.

"I know Kari... that just the thing. You love him, and you know what they say... You hurt the ones you love the most. But you know what?" He gently lifted her head up.

"..*sniff*..what..?"

"You gotta tell T.K. all this stuff you just told me. He's gotta hear it from you. I know it's not going to be easy, and I realize you're not the only one who say the wrong thing here. But, you know T.K.'s become way too stubborn to come out and apologise first. Anyone could see he doesn't really hate you, nor is he planning to stay mad at you forever. Tell you what. Give him a bit of time to heal, then say you're sorry, explain what happen. You two will work things out. Trust me." She nodded, and sniffed once more before backing out of her brothers arms.

"We.. We should get back now..." She said, as she turned to leave.

Back at camp.....

"What's with him?" Yolei asked gesturing at T.K., who was sulking in the corner even worse than usual.

"Him and 'the missus' hade a fight.' Matt said, with a chuckle.

"Seriously! Aw! I always thought of them as the perfect couple. Funny thing is, they never really admitted to liking each other in the first place..."

"No big worries! If he's anything like his big bro, this'ill be over in no time! You know, I have a way with the ladies...."

"Oh really Matt? Then why are you single?"

"Well, too many to choose from , my dear Yolei! I just can't decided which one to make mine!"

"Yeah, whatever Matt!"Yolei laughed.

"Is Matt going on about his 'Many choice' again? Come on Matt! We all know you have a little crush on a certain someone..." Izzy said.

"Wh..who?" Matt asked, scared that Izzy may have stumbled on the truth ' Can..can he tell that it's Mimi I want? How could he know about my feelings for her? Did I ever let on?'

"Yourself, of course! You've got a horrible case of narcissism! You could stare in a mirror for hours!" Izzy said. Everyone started to laugh.

'Heh.. Yeah." Matt said. 'Thank God! I thought he knew!' "Well, you know... When you're as wonderful and beautiful as me..." That's when Tai and Kari appeared.

"Okay then. Let's get a move on." Tai set down the bags of supplies, and carried a few boxes over too.

"You mean we're gonna find out what this 'special mission' was all about?" Matt asked.

"Special mission?" Ken asked. "What's going on? What are you talking about?"

"Well, Ken, sorry I didn't tell you the truth, but I was afraid you might have tried to stop us if I did."Tai explained.

"Stop you? Why? What were you doing that I might have stopped you?"

"In time.. you will all find out. Sora and I will have to ensure everything is set before letting you guys in on this. Please, just give us some time.... trust that I'm making the right choice, and just keep everyone out of our way....."everyone stared at Tai.

"You mean... we still don't get to know what's up?"Joe inquired.

"You'll know by tomorrow. Just wait 'till then." Tai gave them all a 'trust me, I'm the leader' look, and reluctantly, they all left, leaving Sora and him sorting through materials.

"Well....looks like I was right all along" Ken said bitterly. Yolei and him walked slowly over to the fire pit.

"What? What do you mean 'right'? Right about what ?"Yolei said as she sat down.

"It....it's really nothing"

"Come on, Ken. I know it not nothing. You wouldn't have said anything if it was nothing. You're not exactly a chatter box, you know."Yolei said with compassion.

'Why does she care? Does she really want to hear what I think? What have I ever done to deserve someone like her, someone who really, genuinely cares about my thoughts and well being?'Ken asked himself.

"Oh..okay then. I thought... I mean I realized Tai.... He just doesn't trust us like he does his group. We're still 'the newbies' to him."

"Well....now that you mention it..."

"Today was just another example of him leaving us out of the loop! It's crazy! We are just as skilled as any of them! We worked with T.K. and Kari....... you think they'd realize we were being shafted, and try to do something about it..."

"We do important things too. Maybe Tai doesn't feel we're....inadequate... he just simply can worked better with them, due to the long time they spent together in the digital world. Kari has told me that T.K. says that they had no clue how long they were there. They lost track of time rather fast. He thinks it was almost a year and a half.... and that's just a guess. It could have been more, or less. All Kari knows for sure is that she was there for a much shorter time, and it still felt like months. We can't expect to break bonds that they must have made in that time. Tai has seen you being a leader. Maybe he figures it's best to leave a leader here. You know he still thinks of T.K. as a kid, and him and Matt have always had problems....... you're just the one he trust to look after everyone here. He figures you work well with Cody and I , and that's why it seems like were being shafted." Yolei said with a nod.

"Well..."Ken laughed "I guess that's likely.." 'She always makes me fell better. Even crazy stories like this..... it still works....' He sat down beside her.

"You know... I wonder if we're ever gonna leave this place." He said as he stared at the crackling fire.

"I guess we'll just have to wait around to find out." She said , and she laid her head on his shoulder. He gently brushed her hair back. She sighed.

"Maybe..." He turned back to the fire. After a few minutes, he realized Yolei was asleep. "Sleep tight.." He said, as he softy kiss the top of her head. He carefully lifted her up, and carried her over to her sleeping bag.

*****

T.K. sat bundled up in the corner ' What the hell was I thinking? I mean, first I had that stupid fight with Kari , now I've made it even worse! But.... how could she ever think that I k...killed My parents, Davis, and Angemon? No.... she was probably just trying to fight back with something... this was all my fault, like always. I'm so stupid, so useless. I messed up the one good thing I still had just because I was ... what? Embarrassed? Fed-up? Just so sick...so sick of this damn life. Whatever the hell is wrong with me just ruined my life. I have nothing..nothing left. Damn! Why did I have to go at her again like that? I was so bitter, it wasn't like me at all. But, she just... I just can't believe Kari... Kari would even think I was jealous of Davis of all people? He was my friend.. I had to watch him die. Doesn't she realize I really hate revisiting that night? No... this is not all her fault.... if it were up to Kari we'd have made up by now. I could tell that she was sorry. I could have left it at that, forgot this incident ever happened... but no, I gotta go a blow it totally out of proportion! It just made things so much worse... I've lost....I've lost the battle....the battles over.......I might as well give in. Left my sanity slowly continue to slip away. Just like the other....sitting against the walls, staring into nothingness, minds blank, lips mouthing phrases like 'it's all over' or 'why go on?'. I'll eventually end up as one of the drowned bodies in the sewer, along with the others who couldn't bear it anymore. No reason to struggle anymore... I guess it was inevitable.'

T.K. stared out into space, not allowing himself to cry. Suddenly, T.K. remembered a song by one of matt's Favourite groups ' My eyes are dry and I still don't even know, I still wish that I could hold , I sometimes wanna die.... my thoughts exactly..... '["Sometimes Wanna Die" , Joydrop *yeah, again! Hey, I really like that song! And, hell, it fits!*] 'What the hell is wrong with me? Now I'm sitting here , feeling sorry for myself? I have a right to be mad at her, right? She DID accuse me of murder.....ARRGH! I'm so confused!'

T.K. wrapped the blanket tighter around him, and continued to fall deeper and deeper into the raging sea of thoughts that was slowly drowning him.

Kari looked at T.K. ' He looks so confused.... so conflicted.... so..lost...This is all my fault...I did this to him... I should have notice... should have realized how.. Fragile he still is, probably always will be. I should have known it wouldn't take much to push him over the edge.... God! Why did I say those things to him?'Tears once again flooded Kari's eyes as she hugged the little winged pig as tight as she could, as if she'd die if she was to let it fall.

I lost my head, thought of all the stupid things I'd said..... thought of all the stupid things I've done I never meant to cause you trouble, and I never meant to you wrong, and I never meant to cause you trouble , and no, I never meant to do you wrong..... ["Trouble", Coldplay]

And so ends Chapter Five. Questions? Comments? Concerns? Complaints?

A few things I'd like to say:

1. I received... complaints about T.K. and Kari *little* fight last chapter. I'd like to ask that you do read this lil' blab at the end of my chapters! I do answer a few questions you may have on the story so far, and did address the fight last chapter with the following:

"Takari fans! Do not worry! This is (hopefully) but a bump on the road to true happiness for our two lovebirds!"

You mustn't forget! I'm a HUGE Takari fans, I only write the couples I love, and would never do anything that could leave them apart. Just remember 'whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger' or 'absence makes the heart grow stronger' Both could apply to this fight. Come on! It'd be boring if the were just auto-couple! I gotta give them some problems, right? They appear to be working towards reconciling, so worry not!

2. Yes, T.K. was rather nasty today... must of had bad fish or something.

3. Well, Kari was moody....would you buy 'that time of the month'?

4. Yeah, this chapter was pretty song heavy, and any non-Joydrop/Gorillaz/Coldplay/Placebo/Garbage/See Spot Run/ whatever else i add may be getting sick of the references to their songs. Simple solution: Go get the albums! The songs are amazing! Believe me , I'm a toughy to impress! I'd suggest buying them, but you can download them if you don't wanna spend days looking for "Metasexual", the first Joydrop album.(Hell, that was hard to find!) Then again, in this pop-crazy world, finding any alternative music is hard!

5. Awwww! Narcicistic Matt! It's too good! At least he's not as bad as a certain emperor*cough..Hotohori sucks..cough* Ahhhh!! Malinka! No... no I didn't say Hotohori sucks.... i said.. I like ducks! Yeah , ducks! aww! They're so cute *quack, quack*

(for anyone who is wonder, Hotohori is a bastard( since he doesn't love nuriko :( :( ) from "Fushigi Yu(u)gi"/"The Mysterious Play" a remarkable piece of Anime(gotta get subtitled if you need it in English... I hear the dubbed really sucks!)

6. Three Anime Chicks make a second appearance! Whooo-hoo! We Kick ass "K-I-C-K-A-S-S! That's the way we spell success!"["Giant", Matthew Good Band]

An now, I'd like to thank the (nice) reviewers, you guys are so sweet ! Thank you for liking this story so much! And extra thanks to those who keep on coming back for more. That's it for now! See you guys back soon (I hope.......)

,Neko Kamiya

This has been in memory of those Anime guys who have gone into the never ending world of reruns ...Heero ..Duo... Trowa.. Van.. Folken .....Tai....T.K... Matt.... Izzy..... love ya boys

|||Once again, this Fic was written over four years. I know the writing is dreadful, sorry. I just need to finally finish it. Fan Fiction deleted the first one since i broke some ruler without even knowing it, and i never bothered putting it back up. But, now, I just want to see it done. I worked so hard on this, back in the day... hope you all enjoy it.||||