Dreams End

Chapter 10- The Reliability of Knowledge

Neko Kamiya

***Disclaimer*** ~I don't own Digimon or any of it's characters.~***Disclaimer***

||This story was written over a four year period.

I'm simply posting it again, in order to *finally* finish it.

I just need closure on this fic.||

Dedicated to: my devoted reviewers, especially SatAM, Neo Star, candy_angel and Takari Fan.

*********

Matt held Mimi close to him, the tears pouring freely down his face. 'I never want to let her go again' he thought. He could hear her soft sobbing against his chest. They sat there, grasping at each other for dear life, soaked in tears, for what seemed like an eternity. Matt softly rocked back and forth. He was whispering "you're back..you're back.." over and over again. Mimi just shook like a leaf.

* you're the only one for me, you look so fine..... you're taking me over, over and over, I'm falling over, over and over...* ["you look so fine", Garbage]

'All I want is to look at him, study him, get lost in his eyes, know he's really here..but... something stopping me...i just don't want to wake up! If I see him, and this is just a dream.... but, no, i can feel this , can't i? I feel his arms holding me. Surely this is real..but if this is real, so is what just happened...and that had to be a nightmare...had to..." she shuddered as the recent memory resurfaced. ' no..i wasn't..couldn't....no...this must be a dream...i must be asleep...if matt really did save me..from..from.. He couldn't have seen me like that... there's no way..it's a dream.' she held her eyes shut tight. 'Wake up..wake up..wake up...' she opened her eyes, still in Matt's arms.

"Why won't I wake up?" she whimpered aloud. Matt looked down, and pulled away.

"You..you want to wake up? I...i..i don't get it.." He blushed 'I knew this was too good to be true. She doesn't want to be her, not with me! She hoping this is a terrible nightmare! Oh, god! Was that her...did I just save Mimi from her own boyfriend? or husband? No..she couldn't...no..i....i love her! She can't be married! That..no, she was hurting, she wasn't enjoying that! That was rape...I just know..but..oh, god! She just wants to go back to him...' The sound of movement behind him made Matt jump to his feet, pulling him away form his thoughts. The door slid open.

"Ah. Good. You're back. I thought you'd been gone awhile." Genei said. He walked into the room. Behind him, the rest of the group followed.

"...mi..mi?"sora whispered. Tears streamed down her face. She ran over to the broken girl. "Oh gods! You're here! You're here!!" She dropped to the floor, and engulfed the frail Mimi in a deep embrace. "We've missed you so much Meems...you're back..." Mimi eyes filled with fear. She whimpered.

"No....no...no.." she stared blankly into space, rocking back and forth. Sora back up a bit, looking from Mimi, to Matt, then back at Mimi , her eyes full of confusion.

"Um... I think she needs some space.....and some sleep..."stumbled matt. He was still looking bewilderedly at Mimi.

"We're glad you're back, Mimi." Joe said, smiling. All their eyes were sizing her up. Looking at her, they'd have never guessed she was the same girl who was once so full of life, she was frail, scared, she looked a tad mad. He eyes flashed from each of the others.

"No...."she pulled herself backwards towards the wall "no..no.no..no...no...NO! NO!! NO!! NO!!!" she huddled against the wall, her hands grasping at her hair, throwing her head violently up and down with every screech. "No....no..." she whimpered, crashing, crying. She curled up into a ball, shaking , repetitively whispering "no..no..no.."

Matt started over to help her, comfort her, but suddenly stopped himself. 'She made it quite clear that she wants nothing to do with me..I'm the reason she's freaking out... I pulled her away from happiness..'

*The face that fills the hole, that stole my broken soul, the one that makes me seem to feel much taller than you are....on my own for far too long...nothing left to lose I'm weightless, I'm bare, I'm faithless, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared.*["Peeping Tom",Placebo]

In matt hesitation, Tai and T.K. had already got to Mimi, and were currently trying to move her, get her up, just do something. She made no attempt to stop them as they helped her to her feet, and lead her to the couch.

"Get some sleep , Mimi." T.K. said, sweetly. "Just rest, please?"

"..will I wake up?" she asked. T.K. looked baffled.

"Of course you will, the sooner you get to sleep , the sooner you wake up." He said, sounding off the familiar Christmas eve speech.

"You...you look vaguely like an older version of this kid I once knew....all these people look like them but..." She said quietly to him, just loud enough so that he could hear., "everyone else looks right...but..you...look...wrong.." she reached up a touched his cheek. "His eyes danced, yours plea for help..." and with that, she fell asleep. T.K. stood there looking shocked until Kari came over and touched his arm.

"You okay? I know, it's scary seeing her like this.."she whispered, pulling him away.

"It..it's not that..."he whispered back "she..said something to me..."

"What?" Kari asked, curious.

"Well...just..Kari...am I ..different?"

"Yes, you're older now. Of course you've changed."

"In a..bad way?"

She looked at him, shocked. "Of course not! In a good way, a very good way."she touched his face. "Very..very good..."they stood there, mesmerized by each others eyes, until they noticed everyone was moving back into the sitting room, and away from the sleeping Mimi.

*******

"So, Matt, how'd you find her?"Tai asked, getting right down to business, seemingly unaffected by what they had just witness.

"Umm.....well..... she was there, I grabbed her, we came back. Nothing big." Matt said, staring at the floor with particular interest.

"I see. Was she freaking out when you grabbed her? Are we sure this girl is Mimi?"

"No.. I mean, yes, it's Mimi. She recognized me. She didn't start to freak out until we got here." He got up. "I'm a little tired. If you don't mind...."

"Not at all! There's a bed in the back, young man!" Genei said, interrupting the monotonous report with an oddly chipper tone. Matt swept out of the room without another word, avoiding everyone's glare.

"Well. We really shouldn't be resting.. We must continue to our destination...."Tai said, awkwardly, staring at the door that matt had just exited by. Sora laughed.

"Tai! We didn't even have a destination until a few minutes ago! It's been a long day, I think we could all use a little break." She went over and kissed Tai's cheek. "Besides, I'm pretty sure Mimi will want to come with us, so it's not like we can just leave her here. Let's wait until she wakes up, 'kay hon?"

"...fine. We'll take a small break... but we leave when Mimi wakes. Agreed?"

"Agreed." Everyone replied. Everyone wandered off to different places of genei's house.

"Hey...umm..Kari?" Yolei said, coming up behind her friend.

"Yeah?"Kari said

"Well...umm...I just wanted to say...i..i mean we...we..feel really bad about mimi. When I saw her, I really didn't recognize her...and..I know you first bunch were real close and all ..and..it must be so hard for you guys..I'm just..and Ken and Cody too..we're just really hoping for the best..but something tells me her story isn't going to be all that cheerful. Just so you know, even if we don't know how you feel, we still feel for you, and we'll be here for support."She stuttered, looking at the floor for most of it.

"Thank you , Yolei. I think seeing her like this is harder on the older bunch. They looked so ..shocked. " Kari gave Yolei a hug.

"Well..you brother...umm..never mind." Yolei muttered under her breath.

" What?"

"Well..it's just that... Tai, he didn't seem all that surprised or anything. Almost like he didn't care..."

"No. Not at all. You see, as of late he's become very tough. He keeps everything bottled up inside. I think the only people who can see his true thoughts are Sora and I . He's just devastated. Under his new tough exterior, he's still Tai. It's sad sometimes, when I think about how he used to be..... I guess we've all changed pretty drastically." Even as she spoke of Tai, her eyes were unmistakably on T.K.

"Kari....is something wrong? I mean, with you two?"

"Huh? No..not really..it's just..I mean, I feel odd. He asked me if he changed, I said no automatically..but now that I think about it...I'm not sure.... then I can't help but wonder if my feelings toward him would be different if none of this had ever happened. What if we were normal? Would I still love him this much?"She looked back to Yolei, who had obviously been freaked out by the notion that the evil brought some good. " but that silly. I loved him back then, right?" She laughed nervously.

"Right...Well..umm..... I think I'm gonna go take a nap or something. I feel really worn out. A lot of things could happen in the next few hours, I wanna be prepared , both mentally and physically."Yolei said, turning on her heels. Kari wasn't paying attention. Her eyes were following T.K. as he walked into the same room his brother had gone into .

"Yep.sure." she said , as she crept over to the door way. It wasn't like she was spying on them, she just wanted to make sure everything was okay. That wasn't wrong, was it?

****

T.K. gingerly touched his brothers shoulder. "She's back, now. It'll be okay." He smiled softly.

"Yeah." Matt looked away, sounding tired , defeated by the evils of life. "She's back....."

"Matt? What's wrong?" His brother said, drawing back his hand.

"She may be here, but it's not her, she's not the same. You don't know what it was like, you don't know what I took her from, I don't think anyone could leave that being the same..and..well, you know what she did when she saw me? She called out to me. I thought she'd be okay. Then..when we got back here...she just screamed..it was as if..I don't know.. I just.. I can't understand it. I feel so confused. When she called my name, I thought maybe, just maybe we could...but, then.. And now..I ..I just wish life could be more like a dream. You know, everything goes all weird, but it works out, happily ever after... but dreams end. And then the harsh reality sets in, and no matter how much I care for her... even if once upon a time she may have been able to return those feelings, to fall for me too, now, now I'm afraid theirs no chance. She was scared of me! She wanted to wake up! When I saw her, I just wanted to hug her and never let her go again, and she screamed and pushed me away! I don't know the exact events of the past few years, but I doubt she's even the same girl as before. I doubt she can separate us. And if she can never love me because of him, well.. Next time I see him I'll.."

"Him who? What are you talking about, matt? Who's him?"T.K. said, eyebrow raised.

"Hmm? Oh, umm...I assume she must have found a guy or something right? I mean, she's very beautiful...You know what? I'm am a bit tired..I think..it think I should get some rest. I suggest you do them same..." he spun around. "But, you may want to take Kari for a walk or something. Never let her out of you sight, you just may lose her. ...she's already waiting right outside the door." And with that, he walked over to the bed and sat down. "Go on, bro."

"Whadda ya mean she's right outside then.."he walked over to the door, to find a beet red Kari against the wall on the other side.

"Hi."she aid, sheepishly.

"You kids better get going! Meems will be up soon, then we'll be out again, you heard Tai!" Matt said, lying down.

"Come on" T.K. said, smiling.

Later that night.....

Mimi woke up and looked around. 'Ah, still dreaming.'She thought, putting her head back down 'this dream better hurry up and end, it's real upsetting.' She sighed and closed her eyes 'now, when I open you guys again, we will be back in my corner, agreed?' She opened her eyes. 'Oh, dammit! Come on!!' She tried three more times , to no avail. Then, her breathing got faster. 'No, no , no!!! it can't be!! I could have...' Tears ran down her face. '..and..Matt .. Matt witnessed..he saw me so weak.. With that..that disgusting twisted man.. And, oh god! He knows now! He knows that I .. I .. He saw me being..being..being..' Se shuddered, and the tears came faster, her whole body was crying in silence. The silence wrapped around her, blanketed her. Just the way she used to be, the silence her only friend, no matter what it was always there, always the same, never changing, never really gone. She could black out all other noise and feel the silence all around her, separating her from life, saving her from pain. And within the silence came her weakness. Her separation from civilization had been her downfall, her fault. And now, it was her only comfort. Circles, it's all about circles.

Sitting up, she threw her hands down, hidden inside the oversized trench coat. She stood, wildly pushing away from her face, hastily pulling it out of it's elastic band, letting it too surround her, covering her face, her tears, her weakness from the world. The tears came faster, she turned , and her world stopped Standing there, wide eyed, staring back at her looking lost was him. That blond hair, playing with her mind. Those blue eyes, adding to the illusion of purity and goodness. The only clue to how evil the boy really was being the layers of black clothing draped over his well built body. She shudder.'he's back.. Oh, god! He's found me, and he'll hurt me again. '

"..go.go away..don't..don't.don't hurt me again.. I'll scream! Go away! Go AWAY!!"she whispered shakily.

"Meems...no..it's it's me.. I'm..I'm..I'll leave ..if you..I'll leave..I just wanted to see you ..but.. I'm .. You don't..so.. " He stepped into the faint light and she froze.

"Matt..."she said hauntingly. Her mouth broke into a grin Her tears starting pooling up in her dimples. "..are..are you real?" Even as she said the words, she realized how stupid they sounded.

"Yeah."he smiled. " Though I should be asking you that question."

"You..you looked like..in the dark ..he was..so so similar to you..and..even now..your face..your hair..your build..you look so much like ..like..." she shuddered once more, and he was by her side, hovering, not touching her . 'he'll never touch me. I'm tainted, dirty. Used.. I'm a whore. A little slut, no longer pure. He wouldn't want me anymore, as if he ever did...'

"Don't you dare think of that..I mean..he's far far away, long gone, and when I get the chance, I will go back and kill him. Trust me. He will not get away with..with..with that. He hurt you, he's going down."He caught her eyes.

"But..you are different. the eyes, your eyes are different. I never noticed his until then, I was always too happy to care, but when he.. Well, I looked into his eyes, really looked at them, and all there was coldness. Evil, dark, and twisted. His eyes were blue like ice, frozen and hollow. Yours..you are like the ocean, pure, warm, inviting. Loving, caring..and..and so sad... "she reached out and touched his cheek. "What has happened to make you so sad, Yamato?"

He smiled" none of what happened matters anymore."he put his own hand on top of hers, leaning his head slightly so that their hands rested on his shoulder. "You're here now, and everything that went before is irrelevant. I wasted so much time, this time, I'm not wasting a second."

Suddenly as her mood had changed, mimi felt cold pricks down her arm. 'He's touching me! He can't touch me! Let me go! Not, not again!! Not again!! ' she pulled her arm back, holding her hand defensively against her chest. "Not again! You can't touch me! Don't touch me!" The tears were in her eyes before she even noticed she was shaking. Matt face changed from pure joy, to pain.

"What the fuck did he do to you? "He said in a voice so dark he sounded like an entirely different person. "Not tonight, but eventually, you will tell me everything that son of a bitch did, and I will find his sorry ass and torture him. He doesn't deserve to be killed, death would free him. He deserves to suffer for hurting you." he turned around "I think it's too soon to do this to you. I'm sorry. I don't know what I've been thinking lately ..it's just..it's been so long..and ..and, I just can't lose you again.. "

Mimi gasped "oh..oh god matt! I'm I'm feel so confused..I just..I can't think straight. Everything has happened so fast..it's too much to handle.. And I just can't ..I can't .. I need to. I want that that to have not happened. I wish I was never tricked... I wish I was smarter.. I wish I had never left japan...and now.. I hate him so, so, so, much.. Much more than I ever believed possible.. But I'm still so confused..not more than twenty four hours ago, I wondered if I may be..may be falling in love with him.. And then he did that to me.. And I just can't believe it! None of this can be real.. And now, you're here, and all I've wanted ever since I left japan was to be held in your arms, or even just to see you, and now.. I can't stand you! He wasn't you.. I know, deep down, I know, but .. The resemblance.. "she feel to the ground "I'm so confused! I can't tell if this is a dream or not! I don't know if I want it to be real or not! It's too hard, because of him, the one thing I've wanted for so long, I can't even look at." she looked up wide eyed . Matt looked down at her with the same wide eyes 'I said that aloud! I just told him I was in love with him! I said that aloud! Oh god, let me be asleep. And , shit! The way he's starring at me.. He's gonna laugh, he finds this amusing.. It's is funny.. To think the little fashion freak loves the rock star..'

"Mimi?..did you just say..that.. Did I hear you right? Because, if so, I must be the one who's dreaming... I've been suck a wreck without you.. All I do..every day..all I do is think of you, cherish every moment we spent together..wish..wishing I had said something when I had the chance... I'm hoping this isn't a dream, because now that's you're back.. No, I said I wouldn't do this now, and I won't. But just know this, if that ass is the reason.. Well.. I'll do everything I can to wipe him from your memory." and with that, he turned and left.

'Did matt just say what I.. ' she never finished the thought. Exhaustion took over, and she fell into a deep sleep in a heap on the floor.

*touch my skin, and tell me what you're thinking. Take my hand and show me where we're going. lie down next to me look into my eyes and tell me, tell me what you seeing. Sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling. What you feel is what I feel for you....*[Dido]

the next morning....

"I'm not waiting any longer! We wasted a whole day, dammit! I don't care if she has to rest, we have to keep moving!"Tai raged. He was bashing around the small kitchen, making coffee.

"I'm afraid I'll have to agree." Ken said, blowing the steam off his cup of tea.

"Couldn't we just wait till the afternoon?"Kari asked, her head resting in her hands as she watched T.K. eat. He put down his spoonful of cereal, and turned to her.

"I know... I'd like to wait until Mimi feels even a little better. She looks like she's been through a lot in the couple days.. But , Tai has a point. We gotta move.. We barely know where we are going, and are following the directions of someone who was a child at the time..." he let the last part trail, picking his spoon back up, and stuffing and whole bunch of snappy pappy sugar-o's into his mouth. Cody was in the corner, reading the cereal box, which had a picture of an old man in tap shoes snapping his fingers on the front.

"Hey! These have three kinds of dog meat in them.. Curious.."He said nonchalantly. T.K. spit out the cereal poste haste.

Izzy coughed, and raised an eyebrow"Yes.. Anyway... I believe it would be in our best interests to leave as soon as possible. T.K. is right, we have very little to go on here and..."

"Hey! He did know where this place was, I dunno guys.. T.K. seems to know his way around the digital world.." Joe piped up.

Yolei walked into the room, yawning "you guys want to leave already? Come on! This place has food, running water, AC and beds! Why should we leave!?!?!? I wanna stay!!" she whined.

"Perhaps we could stay.." Ken said , smiling up at her. Everyone laughed . It was a quick, forced laugh, but it was laughter.

"We could go now, if you think we should" Mimi said, appearing in the door way "it won't bother me, if that's what you were worried about." Everyone stared at her, seemingly refusing to breathe. "What's wrong? I won't bite, you know!" She smiled and took a seat beside Sora.

"It's good to have you back." Sora said quietly. "But , we can wait, if you want longer to rest.. We'd fully understand.. You don't have to be tough for us."

Mimi smiled "it's oaky. I knows it's been a while, but you seem to have forgotten, if I don't want to do something, you'd know. And I want to get going.. Where ever it is we are going to. One thing I dreamed about every night was being a part of the team again.. I really missed you guys, and...." She stopped and looked at the door way. "Oh.. Good morning Yamato.." He sulked in , his hair had been pulled back into a ponytail.

"Good morning, Meems." He smiled slightly, avoiding the gaze of the others, and grabbing a cup of coffee.

"We just decided that we are leaving after breakfast, right guys?" She said, just loud enough for everyone to hear. No one did though, they were all staring at matt.

"What's with the hair 'do, bro?" T.K. asked, snickering.

"What? I just noticed it was getting a bit long, it's not as if I enjoy hair in my coffee, so I pulled it back. Is that a problem?" He scowled.

"It is a little bizarre, you've never been the type to pull your hair back like a sissy, you even made fun of me when I tried it.." Tai said, bewildered

"That's because you looked like a little girl. I don't."

" I think it's nice." Mimi said in her tiny voice. She smiled at him, as if to say 'thank you'

the resemblance was still there, but more vague now. More as if he was a brother than the same person. And now that his hair was off his face, his pure blue eyes stood out, breaking the illusion.

He winked at her, and took another sip from his coffee. "So, we're going or what?"

***********

Guys, this is chapter ten. You just read chapter 10!!!! i honestly cannot believe it! Guess how many pages the story is now? 72! I wrote a 72-page story!!! with a whopping 31400 approx. words!*gasp* i never woulda thought this would last this long.. 'specially since i have such few reviews.. Which reminds me.. I will only post chapter 11, the third last chapter, if i get more than ten reviews for this one. So, umm.. Get your friends to read my story, folks! Number 11 is done and waiting, so, whenever i get past 10 more reviews.. Somewhere near 70 i believe, I'll post it. Okay? Great! (Hey, you can't really blame me! I spend a lot of time writing my baby, but i'd like to know I'm writing it for more than three people, hai? Each chapter is about seven typed pages, after all.) Questions? Comment? Concerns? Complaints?

A few things to mention..

1.eh hehehhehe!! Matt pulled back his hair!! *drools* mmm..... anyone else picturing "Rei" from "Mars".. Nummy, no da!!!

2.*laughs* some certain people have asked that Zell be badly hurt.. Well.. *grins* I'm not exactly miss friendly. He will get his... and, if not, here's neko's three steps to getting your anger out on zell!

1)find a picture of matt

2)draw eyebrows like this: \ / onto the picture

3)stick it on a dart board.

See? Now, throw the darts at his face..no! Make it full length, then throw them where the sun don't shine!

3.Boy, Meems had several mood swings in that....

4.I'm not joking about that reviewers thing.....

5.the songs return!! But,s till, trying to keep it to a bear minimum.

Eh he hehe!! Who else just swoons whenever they picture matt in that ending, drinking his coffee, winking, with his hair pulled back, wearing all black...... eh hehehehehe!!! oh! That's odd! He just morphed into Legolas! NUMMY!!!!*latches on, holding a sign "I'm never letting go!"* oh, how can i say that when I'm listening to Tasuki sing???? *huggles Tasuki* and chichiri's singing with him *huggles chichiri* oh, now tasuki's sing with chichiri *huggles both the cuties..and leggsies..and matt...hell, there's just an orgy of innocent hugging going one here! (Grabs every bishonen i'm obsessed with)can't breathe.. To many men!!* ???? sorry, it's 3:33 am .. Odd time, no? Double it... that's what time my head feels like it is.. (boy, that made so much sense) Anywho, thank you for reading this, and congratulations for putting up with me for so long. We're nearing the end, don't worry! The ride's almost over....

,Neko Kamiya

This has been in memory of those Anime guys who have gone into the never ending world of reruns ...Heero ..Duo... Trowa.. Van.. Folken .....Tai....T.K... Matt.... Izzy..... love ya boys. Also in memory of those who i have seen the end of (not in death, but in series.)Chichiri..... Tasuki... Tamahome... Nuriko..... Amiboshi...Suboshi...Tomo..Tatara...Suzaku....and the rest of the FY guys (that show has too many hot bishonen!!)You are forever missed! *glomps the amazing suzaku three...chichiri, tasuki, and nuriko... "you can't leave!!!!MINE!!!" (...i guess tama is miaka's....*sigh*) "* ...I'm way too weird...

|||Once again, this Fic was written over four years. I know the writing is dreadful, sorry. I just need to finally finish it. Fan Fiction deleted the first one since i broke some ruler without even knowing it, and i never bothered putting it back up. But, now, I just want to see it done. I worked so hard on this, back in the day... hope you all enjoy it.|||