Mindless Humor

It seemed like forever how much only a year could surpass within the short amount of time it took for them to live. How far they had gotten, but how quickly it has gone away after that. How easily it was done, and how everything was no longer good. How it seemed like only they cared, only those two, but then again, everyone else was… was… gone. They were gone for good.

…Cedric. Dumbledore. Sirius. Ginny…

Their names swarmed in his head as it made him dizzy with hunger for their voices. Why was he the one who lived? Why was he the reason everyone had left? Why didn't anyone blame him when they call him a hero? They should blame him, he was the one that put them in danger and it's his fault they had not survived, but it was also him who made them live for so much longer. Danger was nothing to him.

Maybe it seemed mean, or horrid, or even ambitious to desire their presence so much more then his own. It was almost three years since they had graduated Hogwarts, and yet, it seemed so quickly that they had all fallen apart. He wasn't alone, for there was one other who lived in the very house with him. She was his whole world, and he was completely lucky that she had not fallen. He kneeled in a tiny room with nothing but a mirror. He felt tears in his eyes.

… Seamus. Dean. Parvati. Padma…

Like the spirits they were circled his head as he became dizzy. He couldn't look in the mirror without seeing a murder look back at him, but is that what he really was? A murderer, when practically his whole life he had been trying save them? He was being too hard on himself. It wasn't his entire fault, but he didn't have enough time to save everyone. His time was short. He didn't have it. He would never have it.

He was enclosed in this tiny space. All the voices, faces, scents, and colors circled around him as if haunting him for his dismay. He didn't deny that he was in a deep and bitter depression stage, but he didn't want to believe it. He wanted to think himself normal, as if they all hadn't disappeared, but it was impossible. They had, and they weren't coming back for good.

… Cho. Remus. Luna. Neville…

"I knew I would find you here." An angelic voice said from behind him. He refused to look, knowing that he would be pulled into the want of looking into the mirror once again. She bent down and hugged him from behind, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Harry, you can't do this. You have to let them go."

"I can't, Hermione." He said in a deep voice, much unlike his own. He nuzzled his face into her forearm, refusing to show any shed of tears. "They watch me like I am responsible. Like their spirits are planting revenge and they will rise from their graves, cry 'havoc', and create a new war." He sighed. "They know something I do not."

"What is that, my love?" She wondered. She buried her lips into his pitch black hair and set a kiss upon his head. She could smell the scent of dust as he sat in this room for so long, without food, without water, and without sunlight. She didn't know how much longer he could take this before he actually killed himself, or was that his intension? She didn't even want to think about it.

"They know the truth." He said. "They know everything that happened that night. Every reason on how I betray them. They know every reason why I had abandoned them to save only one other. I left them all, when I could have saved them, and protected only one. And they I failed too. They I broke. I shattered. I ruined." He turned and hugged her in a gruesome thirst for reassurance. She couldn't help but hug him tighter as if it was the scariest thing in the world. He was crying?

"Harry, you need to stop hating yourself. They are proud of you. You defeated Voldemort, and now the rest of us live life happily. You avenged their deaths. None of it matters anymore. You won, you fought, and you saved. They died with honor of fighting at the last battle, but you… you made it through." She said with a smile. "You made seven years of Hogwarts, then two years up unto the battle, and still going strong. This, Harry, is making you feeble by sitting here and telling yourself it's your entire fault."

"I'm glad you made it out alive, Hermione," He said as he had kissed her lips so tenderly. "I don't know what I'd do without you." Before he could think anymore he was tongue tied with her, but the voices still trailed in his head. Even during the very best of moments, like an intercom, it spread through his head in a wave. What would they say if they lived? If they survived, would they be angry? Or upset that he had left them? It didn't matter… that's all he had to think… it didn't matter.

…Susan. Fred. George. Malfoy…

Harry had pulled away so suddenly it made her jump, but before she had anything to say his head was buried in her shoulder. She hugged him, tried to comfort him, and tried her hardest to make him smile, but it was too bad. She had lost this battle with Harry's emotions, for they had gotten the better of the situation. Harry wasn't giving in, and he was still shaking from the thoughts. A year it might have been, but this in particular was that anniversary of the Final Battle. Exactly a year ago he had lost everything.

"I can still hear them screaming…"

…Oliver. McGonagall. Pansy. Percy…

"I can still feel their fear inside me…"

…Krum. Fleur. Molly. Arthur…

"Like a fire burning inside me and working it's way up to my brain. I couldn't think…"

…Promfrey. Sprout. Collin. Dennis…

"I couldn't speak…"

"Then don't, my love," Hermione spoke, cupping her hand over his mouth, and quickly capturing his lips with hers. "I want you to rest. Do not stay here, rotting your mind in front of this mirror that you unmistakably stole from the hallow halls of Hogwarts." Hermione sighed. "Dumbledore told you that the Mirror of Erised showed you nothing more or nothing less then the deepest most desperate desire of your heart. He also said that people had wasted their lives away. Please do not be one of those people." She begged.

"Hermione, this is what makes me feel better." He said, and she looked at him amazed. Better? He was crying for it! "This lets me see them. Though they are not here, I can still physically see them. I can see the anger filled in their eyes. Like gruesome snakes of fire slithering through a room of oil. I can see it." He said. "Ginny with sadness, Cho with disappointment, and especially, him with betrayal."

"No!" Hermione shouted, this time it was her turn to cry. "Don't mention him. I don't blame you, but I beg of you not to mention. I want to know as if it never happened. Do not let me recall that to my mind again. He's proud of you Harry; it's me he's disappointed in. It's me who his evil glare stares down at because I wasn't treating him. I was working with others." She broke down in tears as she laid her head down in his lap.

"Life is bittersweet, Hermione, and I have no reason to make you cry. I promise not to mention him again, but his face is the one that leaks into my mind when I think of something else. His eyes filled with so much fear it scared myself. I failed him. I was supposed to protect him, but I couldn't. I was incapable of keeping a promise. Now I have to live, love, and die with this guilt that pangs me so much it hurts. Why was it I who was brought to this?" He asked himself sadly.

"You are the one that he chose because he thought he could once again beat you, but he couldn't. You survived and you were placed to help others and protect them as much as possible. Do not let your body waste away here when all that you've done, all that you've worked for, and all that you've trained for is at stake. You're slipping, Harry, and now you need to get yourself back up your feet and live your life, because even they would want you to." She smiled partly. "Even they would want you to."

"How do you honestly know that, Hermione?" He asked. "You aren't them and they're dead. They can't exactly tell you, so how can you sit here, be so sure of yourself, and have no affect what so ever on if you know or not? What do you gain by assuming what they said? How do you honestly know what they think themselves unless you are them? And that's impossible. Completely impossible." He said looking at his reflection in the mirror once again.

"Because I know them, Harry," She said. "Don't you see? You don't have to be them to know what they're thinking. You don't have to ask them, it just comes to you as a feeling within. How did you think I found out your feelings towards me? My instinct; and yours drove you to kiss me, and here we are. I love you." She said. "And I don't want to see you sad, love, it hurts."

"I'm sorry I've hurt you 'Mione." He apologized. "I don't want you to be sad just because I am. You have to understand that I couldn't do it alone. I needed them, and I still do. I still need their comforting smiles to let me know that my success has been good, but I don't have those smiles. Therefore, it's not success at all; it's nothing but a scam of trying to stay alive. I'm the one that put them in jeopardy, and I am the only one who turned their back on so many to save one… one who…" Hermione grasped her hand over his mouth.

"I asked for no more talk of him." She said, tears filling her eyes. "It only makes me guiltier about how I should have been there. How I should have helped. How I should have known what was going to happen. I didn't though, because I didn't bother to find out at all." She kissed his lips roughly. "I'm just glad you were one of them." She said between kisses. "I couldn't stand to survive without you. I need you." She said. "And every day it comes back to me… what if it was you, and not him?"

"You won't have to find out." He said as he buried his lips into her hair. "I promise not to leave you. As long as I can I'll protect you." He said, hugging her closer than ever. Her thin frame crashed into him with security. "I won't let you down like I did them. You will never find out about that Hermione. Not as long as you still hold my heart. Not as long as I still hold yours." He said softly. "It's my entire world." Her face had moved towards his and once again they had locked lips. Even underneath the kisses, the voices were still calling.

…Ernie. Angelina. Katie. Hannah…

Their names would not leave him. Even under all the happiness they haunted him so badly. They circled his head with so much anger in their eyes he felt like he was going to be sick. He had to push her away before anything got worse. He felt himself become light headed and in a sort of pain that he couldn't describe. He looked at her, and the only person that he could even think about was him. The one Hermione wished to not speak of, but he couldn't help but see him.

…Ron…

He gave her a reassuring smile before his eyes slowly shut and he fell to the side. Hermione buried her face within his shoulder, crying with all her might, but it hadn't seemed to work. The room was cold and dry and nothing but the light aura of spirits was present. They were every where, basking in Harry's mind that had suddenly gone blank. Everyone had died, and everyone was nothing but a memory. Their lives ceased to exist, and no one was there to save it.

Hermione's cries had grown louder. The room became darker. The night became later, and she still sat there, cradling him in her arms. Crying so hard it hurt. Her tears stung with guilt. Her eyes became red with fatigue. Her cries became soft with boredom in her words. She didn't know what else to do. Her mind became blank. The sky became starless. The time grew longer. There was only one thing that had stopped. A life, and Hermione wanted to scream. The "…" drew across Harry's mind as well when he thought of them as dead. The names trailed in and out. Hermione looked in the mirror, shocked.

A shiny silver object was shimmering across her neck, and when she looked closer she saw that a man held a knife to her neck. She moved her face down, her chin grazing the object as she screamed in fear. He was faceless as he stood behind her in the dark. The voice was cold and cruel as it grunted at her screaming. He spoke "One more to die and my job is done." He moved it closer, the metal freezing cold, and she stopped screaming. She began to sweat in fear as she looked down at Harry. It was time for her love to save her, but just like Ron, he couldn't. Hermione looked back to the mirror and in a spidery script of blood it dripped down to the floor. There, he had left a message.

"…Harry Potter…"

Author's Note:

A new short story, and a LOT shorter than my last. I hope you like it. I thought it was rather good. Happy New Year! WOOT! Go 2006! Hahaha. Can't wait for reviews. :D

Airalynn

POSTED: (WEDNESDAY) JANUARY 4, 2006