Chapter 8:

Audra and Lily made there way up to the girl's dorm room that they shared with Alice Gables and Midge Grundy. Lily knocked on the door. When no one answered she walked in and quickly plopped on her bed. Audra followed her quickly, locking the door behind her, and sitting next to Lily.

Audra looked directly into Lily's eyes, "Well?"

"Well what?"

"What do you mean what?"

Lily knew that Audra was alluding to James but she really didn't want to get into it. She didn't even know what was going on with him. How was she supposed to explain it to someone else? "Audra, usually when one uses the word what it is due to a lack of understanding about something an earlier person has said or done."

"Ok…Allow me to be more direct…What did you do with James while you two were alone?"

"Nothing."

Audra gave a rather unladylike snort. "Nothing? Yes that would explain the look you had when Midge was flirting with James."

"I only had a look of total indifference."

"No. You looked like someone was fiercely yanking your monkey. A monkey you have claimed ownership of. A boyfriend monkey."

"A boyfriend monkey!" Lily spluttered. "No he's just a monkey."

"No he's a boyfriend monkey."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is…Wait a second…Why am I arguing this? A boyfriend monkey? What the hell is that?"

"Exactly what I said, a boyfriend monkey. Now stop dwelling on the wrong parts. I need to know what was going on even if it wasn't physical." Audra started to pout, "Aren't I your best friend? It's an unwritten rule that you cannot keep anything from your best friend."

Lily sighed in resignation, "Ok…" She told Audra everything, not leaving anything out. "…Then we went to kiss when you and Sirius popped in."

Audra jumped up on the bed doing the most frightening victory jig. Lily was quite certain that her friend was having a seizure and was going to stop her when Audra collapsed suddenly. "So…the only reason you didn't kiss is because Sirius and I came in…Why didn't you give me some sort of signal?"

"Like…"

"You could have said 'Audra leave.'"

"Oh that would have been subtle," replied Lily sarcastically.

Audra ignored her, "What are you going to do?"

Lily worriedly ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't know, I just don't know…"

Meanwhile…

James lay in his bed, listening to the noises of the animals from the Forbidden Forest that came through his open window mix with those of the snores of Sirius, Remus, and Peter. He wished he could fall asleep but thoughts of Lily kept crossing his mind leaving him nervous and restless. He knew he had never felt this way about a girl before and that for the first time it looked like Lily shared some of his feelings. He sighed.

He threw a pillow at Sirius. Sirius just turned over on his side, mumbling in his sleep, "…Minerva …don't touch me there…ah…well if you insist…in the dungeons…bondage isn't really my thing…of course-if you want…wow…you are raunchy." James was disgusted, and even more so when Sirius began to make noises. It was now necessary to wake him up.

"Sirius!" he shouted, the sounds continued. James tried to block out the now outright shouts with his pillow "Must become deaf." He jumped from the top bunk, vigorously shaking Sirius. Sirius jumped up "Wh-wh-at?"

"I really hope you weren't having sex with McGonagall in your dream."

Sirius shook his head. "No, it was Flitwick. Minerva is a pet name for him. You wouldn't understand."

"You're not funny."

At this Sirius snapped. It had just hit him that James had disturbed his sleep. "Well excuse me. I didn't know you woke me up in the middle of the night because you were in dire need of a joke."

"No I'm sorry. I need advice."

He had told Sirius that he and Lily had sort of patched things up between them but he hadn't mentioned that they almost kissed. He now finished the story.

Sirius gaped at him for a moment before whistling wolfishly. "James it's obvious what you need to do."

"What?"

Sirius shook his head sympathetically. "James, James, James, James, James."

"Yes, that is my name."

"You most follow the Sirius Black motto."

"Which is…"

"Woo her then do her."

"What?"

"Charm her then harm her."

"WHAT?"

"Make out then take it out."

"WHAT?"

"I'm talking about sex you daft ass."

"I know but…I want more."

"More? MORE? There isn't anymore that's it. That's the best."

"I want a future with her."

"A future? I don't do that sort of relationship. Ask someone else."

"Thanks for your help, Mr. Sensitive."

"Don't talk about sensitivity. You woke me up to ask some unsex-related question."

"Well…night."

"Night."

James sighed. He needed to get a new best friend. As if Sirius was reading his mind he whacked James hard with a pillow. James grinned, "What? I was kidding."

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Hello! Whoa it's late at night and I drank too much Diet Coke! Well, hope you liked it. Now it's time to REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW.

Important Notice Below

From the beginning I have absolutely hated my story title so I am switching it from James' and Lily's Excellent Adventure to Gay Bears, Pink Mirrors, and Nice Rears. He, he (mirrors and rears rhyme). So look under that title from now on. Thanks. Peace out.