Secrets
Author's Note: Just another little one shot. A little less sad I hope. Please Review! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Not Mine.
We're over. No debate there. You marrying someone else kind of took away any doubts on that one.
Still could be some argument as to why. I might say it was because you didn't trust me.
You might say it was because you couldn't.
You seemed sure I was keeping things from you. Hidden affairs with Michael. Harbored feelings that you weren't enough.
And while I did have my share of secrets, Steven, they weren't the kind you'd think.
I'm going to share them with you now, maybe too little too late. But I think you should know…
I secretly loved your sideburns. And your damn sunglasses. I don't think I could imagine you without them, so as much as I whined and complained, I'd have been devastated if the actually ever disappeared.
I secretly bought ever Led Zeppelin album. Hendrix, Kiss, AC/DC, the Doors, the Rolling Stones. I bought them all. And I'd listen to them at night and learn all the words. You loved them. And I loved you. And so they made me feel closer to you somehow.
And I wore your old T-shirt to bed almost every night.
I was secretly disappointed at the Prom when you got me Michael back. I didn't understand the feelings, so I pushed them aside. But they were there. The hint that maybe you meant more than I thought, and that Michael meant a little less.
And I felt something in that kiss on Veteran's day.
And we were never just a fling to me.
And I secretly used to read the morning paper, hoping to get a decent handle on anything you might find rant-worthy about the government that day. I wanted to be smart enough for you. I guess that's another secret. Sometimes I didn't feel good enough for you.
And lastly, I hadn't thought it was a secret. I had thought you knew. But I loved you more than anything in this world, Steven. You meant more to me than all my silly day dreams about a future with Michael or more to me than any of the superficial things I'd been obsessed with my whole life. I loved you with everything in side of me, with every bit of my heart.
And I secretly still do.