Chapter Five, And I Can't Stand the Pain, And I Can't Make It Go Away
-------------------------------
Once more, there's a lot of horse lingo in this chapter. (shrug) What can I say, I'm obsessed.
Everyone, thank you for sticking with me! This first scene was inspired by an event that took place last week, we were playing halter ponies at my barn, and I was trotting Joker over a jump, he klutzed over it, I tripped, he tripped over me, and trotted on me. I wasn't hurt, but I still sport a very painful and very interestingly and amusingly colored bruise the size of his hoof. And Joker isn't a small, light horse. He's an champion western pleasure appaloosa, and is slightly overweight. We're working on that. He felt bad, though, and I could tell by his face and the way he acted around me that he was sorry. I bawled my eyes out on him though, when I put him away, because I don't like crying in front of people.
By the way, this IS the chapter from the teaser. Heh, I got a little off-track on the last one.
---------------------------------
It was a very tense few days after that. Harry, not sure what exactly to tell his friend, avoided him, instead spending all of his time trying to win over Shitsuren. It wasn't working. Gohan, sensing that whatever his guests had thought wasn't good, instead spent his time outside and away, going out with friends he hadn't seen in a while, and was currently out in one of the side fields by the barn, taking Hitori over some jumps.
Unknown to him, Harry was sitting in front of the fence on the other side, talking to his uncooperative pokemon.
"Enjoying yourself?" the green-eyed boy glanced up to see Sasuke standing there, watching Gohan.
"Not really." Harry answered.
"You're still not talking to him."
"More like he's not talking to me." Harry answered dully, absently listening to the pounding hoof beats going around the arena. Sasuke shook his head.
"I'd say it's a mutual case of not knowing what to say."
Harry remained silent, staring at Shitsuren, when suddenly, a shout was heard. He leapt to his feet, just in time to see Hitori spook at a jump decorated in garlands, rear up, and throw his trainer, sending him flying through the air after several frenzied bucks, and bolted when he clipped his trainer with a hoof, severely freaked. For several minutes, Gohan lay on his back, trying to catch his breath, before lurching to his feet, snagging a fencepost in a death grip, the other hand clasped to his side.
"Are you alright?" Sasuke called out, worried, and received an absent nod. The younger boy's attention was focused in the corner, where Hitori stood stock-still, his reins snapped where he stepped on them in his mad gallop, neck streaked with sweat, and his stirrups gently flapping against his sides as he huffed. He was still frightened and spooked, his nostrils flared, his eyes showing the whites.
"Easy, baby." Gohan crooned softly as he approached his mount, slowly, his hands open and outstretched. "You're alright, sweetheart. All you have to do now is calm down and hold still." Still speaking calmly and clearly, Gohan knelt down to untangle and fix the dangling reins and run his hands down Hitori's legs, checking for them for pain and injury, then got to his feet once more, holding the rapidash softly by the bridle, stroking his neck soothingly. "You're okay, baby." Gohan checked Hitori's breathing, and waited until the horse calmed before swinging back up into the saddle and walking him twice around the field.
When they were at a good position, he directed Hitori at a trot to the jump that had scared him so badly, and allowed the horse to inspect it, to sniff and nudge at the flowers, to walk over it, before turning him around and trotting him toward it, then nudging him into a light canter.
This time, Hitori only hesitated slightly, before bunching his muscles up and flying over it at Gohan's encouraging nudge, click, and slight release of the reins to allow the best flexibility. As soon as the horse's front feet hit the ground, Gohan turned him back and took him over it three more times, until Hitori's fear had completely dissipated, and he didn't hesitate at all. As soon as that happened, Gohan walked him and dismounted, loosening his mount's girth and running his stirrups up.
"Let's see." Sasuke demanded when he was at the gate, and Gohan obligingly ran his shirt up, showing a soon-to-be impressive bruise where Hitori's hoof had grazed him.
"I'm fine, but could you do me a favor, please?" Ebony eyes slowly drifted to Harry, who was standing just behind Sasuke.
"Sure."
"Could you go behind the barn and get one of those big blue buckets, fill it up with water, and get me a bottle of soap and a sponge?" The younger boy inquired, "I want to give him a good bath, not just a hose down, right after I untack him." Sasuke nodded.
"Sure." With a nod, he left. Gohan turned to Harry, and noticed with slight satisfaction that, after a week, Shitsuren had finally edged closer than six feet to the wizard.
"Leon?"
"Yes?"
"Would you like to help me?"
Green eyes and ebony met.
"Sure."
-----------------------
"Why have you been ignoring me?" Gohan inquired, staring intently at a sweat mark on Hitori's flank as he ran a sponge over it. From where he was running the hose down the horse's chest, Harry sighed.
"I didn't know what to say to you."
"Is it about the match?"
"Yes." It was senseless brutality, and I don't understand why you would knowingly injure those so close to you. "I thought it was cruel." Harry answered, though in his head he said something completely different. Gohan looked down.
"Did you know, that in the wild, Mightyena will actually kill each other in battles for mates, and in battles for leadership?" At the sudden question, Harry blinked, and Gohan continued. "Salamence battle over territory, as do many other species. Is that wrong? I wish death on very few things, but in the great scheme of things, are things like these wrong?"
"Well, no-"
"Then what is different?" Gohan asked, putting down the sponge. "It's better, because if pokemon don't regularly practice and use their own abilities, they lose their control on them, and then you're left with a very, very dangerous little problem. In these matches, there are always two or three teams of paramedics standing by. In emergencies, contestants are allowed to use items. Not just anyone is even allowed to participate. And battling helps to establish a bond between trainers and their pokemon, and to learn. Some attacks can only be used if the relationship is very close. Most pokemon only evolve by experience that comes from battling, and then they evolve. And it's FUN." The hybrid's eyes were earnest and pleading. "There was never any chance of death, NEVER. None of those blows were strong enough to cause real harm, and if any of my pokemon had asked me not to make them battle, then I would listen to them. If there any potential for permanent damage, you know that I would never have participated in such a thing." He trailed off as Hitori suddenly turned his head and began rubbing his head on Gohan's back, and the saiyan braced himself.
(It's cute and shows friendship, but it can hurt quite a bit if you aren't positioned right and your horse decides to snuggle. Especially if you're a girl. gestures at chest)
"What did you think of me?"
"I thought…" Harry tried to get his words together, "I thought that you were cruel. I thought that you had no regard for your pokemon, and at the time I didn't know what the hell you were thinking."
"And what do you think now?" Gohan inquired quietly, "Do you still think these things?"
"No. Remus still feels that way, though, but Reptile understands, and Siri is on the way."
"Good."
From the side of the barn, green eyes peered around, and Sasuke grinned, glad to see the two of them finally getting things straightened out. Pulling out his cell phone, he dialed a number.
"Hey there. I just thought you should know that everything's okay around here. Yeah. Oh, really? That should be interesting. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I know. I love you too."
-------------------------
Late that night, Gohan sat at his desk, scribbling a letter.
Boku no Fukushin-san,
I haven't written you in awhile, have I? I'm very sorry, and I hope you haven't forgotten me. Heh. I just wrote to let you know what's been going on, in case you cared. See, I've been in boarding school all year, and only recently returned for the summer. So, how have you been? Are you still in that military school, and if you are, how are things going? I really hope that you got to participate in that K9 program that you were so interested in. I'm sorry that this letter's so short, but I don't have much time, I'm going out to dinner tonight. Please respond.
Sincerely,
Ryuuza.
--------------------------------
Ryuuza-san,
You have no idea how happy your letter made me, I was really worried about you! (smacks) But I'm glad that you missed me too, as funny as that sounds. Yeah, I'm still in the academy, but more of my free will this time. Yeah, I know. Shocker. But I've actually made a lot of friends, and the K9 program is just the best! I have a Growlithe named Hope, and she's my best friend. We've been training a ton, and we're up to level 40, and I recently taught her the attack Overheat. See, I wanted to make sure that her body could handle an attack that powerful, and I suppose that it would work better for an Arcanine, but I like her just the way she is. You know how I feel, right? Aw, hell, of course you do. I don't have time for a long letter either, but I want you to know that I appreciate your contacting me.
Until the next letter,
Kimi no Fukushin
-----------------------------------
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
-------------------------------------------
"I'm going crazy. I'm going absolutely crazy!" Sirius Black shouted to the world, before violently spinning around and grabbing Ei manically, "Ei, help me! Give me back my magic!" The puppy licked his nose. "NOOOOOO! I'm losing it!"
"Oh, I'm sure it's nothing that you ever actually had." Remus spoke up from a chair, "And put poor Ei down, I'm surprised you haven't scarred her for life." Seeing Ei lick a hysterically laughing/howling Sirius, he changed his mind. "On the other hand, maybe she's a perfect match for you." Smiling when Hoshou jumped onto his shoes, he pulled a shoelace out of his pocket and dragged it along the floor, horribly amused as the Skitty raced after it. "Go, Hoshou, go!"
"And you call me sad." Sirius muttered, "I still don't know why you're so calm. You're a wizard too, why aren't you freaking? TELL ME, why aren't you freaking out, damn you?"
Remus blinked at him.
"Um, let's see. Because I am older than you, I can beat you down, and I have always been the calm, rational one out of the two of us. You little biotch."
"I cannot believe that you just said that to me."
"Believe it." Remus told him. "Honestly, it isn't a problem. What do we need it for, anyway? We're guests here, and we're being taken care of. I would consider it insulting if a bunch of people I didn't know came into my house as my guests and not two seconds later began spelling things to suit their liking." Sirius couldn't exactly argue that, and settled for turning back to his puppy.
Just then, Oak walked into the room.
"Black-san, Lupin-san, could I ask you to do me a favor? Normally, I would get Shigeru or Ashura to do it, but they're both out."
"Certainly," Remus answered, "What did you need for us to do?"
------------------------
An hour or so later, the two men were standing in the front of a large crowd, which was watching as a whole a young woman with her light green hair done up in two buns and her Charizard. Sirius held a video camera in one hand, which had been given to him by Oak, and in the other a strawberry crepe with Ei's leash around his wrist, while Remus simply held Hoshou in his arms. The researcher had suggested as well that they bring their pokemon with them, though he hadn't said why, exactly. Talking clearly and easily, the woman introduced herself as Kakizaki Ayaka, before motioning to her Charizard to lay down. Sirius turned the video camera on.
"Now, pokemon massage is publicly shown as a very complex, very complicated process," the woman began, "But in all actuality, it isn't. Of course, you certainly need to know what you're doing, other wise you might hurt your friend, but there are a great deal of very simple, extremely beneficial techniques that you can use, before a battle or whenever you have time. Charizard, if you would roll over, please."
Obligingly, the pokemon obeyed, so it was laying on its back.
"Now, you're going to want to make sure that you have a good relationship with your pokemon before you do anything, and that you DO know what you're doing. What I'm going to show you now is an excellent little thing that works as either a stress reliever or a power-boost before a battle. What you do," Ayaka directed, "Is gently but firmly run your hands down the face, making sure to get over their ears, or wherever they happen to be." At her ministrations, Charizard suddenly let out a loud, contented grumble or pleasure, stretching out. "As you can see, Charizard is very used to this, and often actually gets a little grumpy if I don't give him at least one massage a day, preferably before bed."
Sirius was paying more attention to Ayaka than to what she was teaching, but Remus was surprised to find that he was fascinated by this. After Gohan's exhibition battle he had made a point of avoiding anything involving it, but this drew him in. In his arms, Hoshou began to mew loudly, scampering up onto Remus' head, to the werewolf's shock. Ayaka glanced over at the loud noise.
"Excuse me, sir? Was that your Skitty just then?"
Remus went red.
"Um, yes. I'm sorry if I interrupted, Hoshou's just a baby-"
"Great, come up here, please." Ayaka said, and flapped her hand at him as extra encouragement. Grinning, Sirius shoved his friend forward, until he was standing next to her. "What's your name?"
"Uh, Remus. Remus Lupin."
"Nice to meet you, Lupin-san. So, answer me, how long have you had this Skitty, Hoshou, is it? He's very young."
"I've had him for two weeks."
"Okay, lets try something. Put Hoshou on the table."
Slightly confused, Remus obeyed.
"Now, I'll show you something really cool. Watch closely." Smiling, Ayaka turned to Hoshou and introduced herself with a scratch to his little pink ears. "Aren't you a cute one!" Then, she put her hands to Hoshou's little shoulders and began to rub in a circular motion. The Skitty stared at her for several seconds as if he had never seen anything like her in his very short life, and instantly began to purr with contentment, so loudly that many people in the audience went "Awww." Remus blinked. "You see what I'm doing? With a pokemon so young, this is a good technique to use when he's feeling upset or angry, because it mimics how a mother will treat her offspring to calm it down. Now you try."
Grinning, Ayaka took her hands away and matter-of-factly replaced them with the werewolf's, who tried to mimic her previous movements. It took awhile, but in about a minute Remus had Hoshou chirping and mewing with pleasure in the exact same way Ayaka had done, and he positively beamed, not caring that he was going to be embarrassed later when Sirius gave the tape back to Oak.
"Great job!" Ayaka praised him after about five minutes, and Hoshou hopped back up onto Remus' head. "That was awesome, you're such a fast learner!" Shocking himself, Remus went a light pink, and prayed to god that Sirius wasn't focusing the camera on him at that moment.
"Um, thank you." he stammered, slightly unnerved with the girl's grin and the fact that her hair was coming undone from her exuberance. "Thank you very much." Still blushing, he went back to stand next to Sirius, who was smirking at him.
"What?"
The smirk widened.
"Shut up, Sirius."
It widened some more.
"I told you, shut up, Sirius."
-----------------------------------------------
For the first time in about a week, dinner that night was pleasantly loud. Gohan, Harry, and Draco appeared to be on perfectly normal terms with each other now, Remus and Sirius were bickering, something about massage and a girl, and Oak and Shigeru were debating about something or other.
"I'm telling you, Sirius, you're making a mountain out of a molehill!"
"So you admit that it's at least a molehill!"
Remus slapped a hand to his forehead.
"Padfoot, you're an idiot. JUST because I got flustered by a girl does NOT mean that I'm suddenly in, as you call it, "twu wuv". It's called embarrassment."
"Remus, you were bright red, what else am I supposed to think? Besides, I approve, what else is there to it?"
"Uh, maybe the fact that maybe, just MAYBE I don't have a thing for Miss Kakizaki?"
"The girl's gorgeous, and she obviously liked you, ask her out, Moony!"
"No, no, no, no, no, no, and NO!" Remus suddenly glared, "First of all, I have no special feelings for Miss Kakizaki. Second of all, she has no special feelings for me. And third of all, WHAT THE HELL BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS?"
From the other end of the table, Gohan suddenly blinked.
"Kakizaki? As in, Kakizaki Ayaka-san, that Kakizaki?"
Surprised, both men blinked.
"Yeah. You know her?"
"Yeah, I met her a few years ago. I've been meaning to talk to her again, but I haven't gotten the chance-"
"Gohan, you have to help me set Moony up." Sirius suddenly reached over and melodramatically took both of the boy's hands in his, "He hasn't has a girlfriend since we got out of school!" Remus went a bright, indignant red, "And this girl who happens to be YOUR friend very obviously has a thing for him! Please!"
Gohan blinked again, staring at the table.
"I think that if Lupin-sensei doesn't want to be set up, he shouldn't be forced into it. And Ayaka-san is assertive enough that if she likes someone, she'll go after them herself, and not be bothered with other things. She's very much a Gryffindor." he said calmly, "But if you really believe what you're saying, I might be able to arrange something."
"Gohan, no. I don't-"
"Please don't think me rude, but did I say that I was going to shove you two in a closet or something?" Ebony eyes flashed, "Actually, I think that the two of you might be good friends, if she seemed that enthusiastic to talk to you." As soon as it appeared, the boy's scowl disappeared, and a grin replaced it.
"You rule, kid!" Sirius cheered, and Gohan blushed brightly, rubbing the back of his head.
"Tell me that once you get to know her. And just a warning, Lupin-sensei?"
"Yes?"
"Whatever you do, don't piss her off. The girl's got a Charizard and a nasty right hook."
-------------------------
The next afternoon, Gohan was sitting on his bed, reading a book on Charms, when suddenly shouting erupted from downstairs. Immediately, he leapt to his feet and quietly slid his door open, peering out down the stairs, Kira, Aoi, and Pikachu trying to get a look as well.
What's going on?
"Hush, and I'll tell you when I find out." He hissed, slipping out of his room, and draping himself over the banister for a closer look. He blinked when he saw Oak with his back turned, and heard the angry slamming of the door. Silent, he crept down the stairs.
"Oak-sama?" he inquired tentatively, "Are you alright?"
The older man turned, and the hybrid was stunned to see that he had tears slipping down his cheeks, and that the white coat he wore had drops of water on it, and that on the white rubber gloves he wore, splashes of blood could be seen. All color completely drained out of Gohan's face when he saw that last bit, and he stared up at him, now completely fearful of what had happened. As if seeing him for the first time, Oak stared down at him, before leading Gohan into the main lab.
"Oak-sama, what happened? Who just left? WHAT'S GOING ON?"
Oak let out a loud breath, as if he still couldn't believe himself, which, Gohan was about to find out, was very much true.
"Ashura," he said shakily, "Do you remember…..do you remember that Minun that you traded to a young boy several years ago?"
"Yes….why?"
Grimly, Oak gestured to the table.
"I'm sorry, Ashura. I'm so sorry."
Stunned, Gohan walked over to where he gestured, and morbidly pulled back the sheet, before going slightly green at what greeted him and replacing it quickly, more out of respect for the pokemon than anything else. For several minutes, he didn't even realize that he couldn't feel a thing a thing. Just cold, the cold, freezing feeling of ice slipping down into your body, realization of something that you didn't want to accept. Just then, he was aware of a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't blame Kouga, Ashura."
Gohan stiffened.
"It was a predator, a wild predator, during the night. Kouga ran for two days straight to get here, but it was just too late for me to help. When you feel up to it, talk to him." Numbly, the boy nodded. "Do you feel like talking, or do you want to be by yourself?"
Silent, Gohan broke away from the contact and walked right out the door, face expressionless, and after staring after him for a few minutes, Oak collapsed in a chair. Worried and tentative, Kira and Aoi approached him, knowing that it would be best not to follow their master at that time.
Hey, don't worry. Kira told him soothingly, nudging his hand with her nose, Shura'll drag himself up out of this, and if he doesn't, we'll do it for him. Count on us? Sniffing, Oak blew his nose, before reaching over and rubbing the Delcatty on the head.
"Of course. I know that he appreciates how much you love him."
Trust us, we know how much. And we also know just how much he loves us as well.
-----------------------
There was a bright, icy spray, and the snapping of tree limbs between blown too roughly. From the figure on the bridge, there was comprehension, sadness, and shut ebony eyes. His hair was up, and he wore a simple red shirt and black pants. There was a silver choker laced around his neck.
Young, but obviously beautiful features.
Clenched hands, shaking like leaves on a wooden railing, leaving marks. A high bridge, swinging by ropes.
There was fear in his eyes. Anxiety.
From up on that rope bridge, Gohan did nothing but stare down into the waterfall. It was so wild.
There was uncontrollable power in that waterfall. He might have been able to stop it physically, but in a way, it would always be stronger than he was.
Unadulterated rage.
Compression in the chest, asphyxiation, a rush of air.
Freedom. Vaguely, he wondered what would happen if he decided to take a flying leap and not use any of his powers.
Falling.
Destruction on the bank, erosion of rocks, covered in a thick later of ice, snow, and frost.
Would it hurt, at all?
Fear.
Temptation to fall, just to see what would happen.
Apathy, and at the same time, more emotion than anyone could ever handle at once.
Pain. Gohan suddenly lifted his palm to his lips when he saw a red stain on the railing.
A slash in his palm, merely a scar now, reopening on a splinter. Drops of scarlet making invisible ripples in the spray below. Not a single flinch.
Beauty.
Visible compassion.
Instability lurking under calm, serenity covering a raging storm.
Fear.
A voice.
He didn't respond.
A tight embrace from behind. Knees giving out, being cradled against someone warm, someone well-known.
There was a quieting of the storm.
Settling spray.
Tears instead.
Soothing hands in his hair, engulfed in unconditional caring.
"Shura? Shura, Oak called me. Here now, calm down, I've got you." Sasuke murmured quietly, "It's alright now, I've got you." Being scooped up and carried away, later being put into bed, waking up to a familiar face and feeling quite like a little kid.
Blonde hair twining in curious fingers. Green eyes. Gentility. Understanding.
Green eyes. Ebony ones laced in silver.
Silver choker.
-------------
Ashura.
----------------------------
END CHAPTER.
So, like, it, love it, hate it? Please tell me what you think! Review, and message me if you're confused and have any questions, I don't bite. That's Shitsuren's job. (bows) Thank you very much for reading.