Well, now that that's out of the way let's begin (oh, and this is to the tune of Veruca Salt):
Harkat Mulds (a.k.a. Kurda Smahlt) crept up slowly to the edge of the Lake of Souls. His mournful, wondering eyes were searching for a dear friend of his, whom he had recently learned from his rather peeved ex-master Desmond Tiny that his friend's soul hadn't made it to Paradise.
Harkat cried out when he saw Darren's sorrowful countenance appear briefly upon the lake's surface before his soul swam away again. The Little Person collapsed upon the shore of the Lake, hoping again for another glimpse.
"Darren, Darren Shan," he murmured sadly. The other souls in the Lake swirled beneath him, obscuring Darren from view.
Some kind of hippy music started playing out of nowhere. Harkat jerked his head up, and saw his brothers gathering around the perimeter of the Lake, their hoods down, giving a fine view of their butt-ugly faces.
"Ooooohhh – ooooohhh – ooooohhh – oooohhh."
Groan. He knew Mr. Tiny had sent them along for some reason! Harkat groaned, stood, and backed away as the other Little People linked arms and began swaying from side-to-side in tune to the music.
"Prince Darren's soul for its own sake
Has just dived down into the lake."
They unlinked their arms and started doing sort of weird skipping-thing while they sang. Harkat couldn't help thinking that this was the stupidest dance he'd ever seen.
"And he will meet as he descends
A rather different set of friends.
A rather different set of friends, a rather different set of friends!"
They stopped skipping and all but three or four of the Little People backed away from the Lake. The ones that were left had solos, and gestured towards the waters in turn as a certain soul would break the surface of the lake for a brief moment, right on queue.
"A gangster, for example found,
This morning dead upon the ground,
A killer from a killer's crew,
The rapist who raped my friend Drew."
The other Little People came inching towards the Lake again while the next line was sung. "And lots of other things as well,
Each with their rather horrid tales! (Horrid tales)"
All of them at the same time started spinning slowly and moving away from the Lake, stopping after moving just a few feet and raising their arms above their heads.
"These are poor Darren's newfound friends
That he will meet as he descends,
These are poor Darren's newfound frieeee – eeeee – eeeends!"
The same four who'd had solos broke away from the grip and came trotting closer the Lake's shore. The others swayed some more, humming.
"Who went and killed him, who indeed?
Who turned away to all his pleads?
Who took the nine lives from the cat?
Who are the culprits? Who did that?
The guilty ones, now this is sad,
Are good old bro…"
One of the Little People took out a framed picture of Steve Leopard from inside his robes and tossed into the Lake's waters, while at the same time another was just taking out a picture of Mr. Tiny. (Which it threw in upon the last word.)
"…and loving Dad!"
The song ended. Harkat watched as the Little people broke the circle, mentally laughing and congratulating each other. Harkat threw his arms up in the air in anger.
"Why do you guys always…have to make a song out of…everything"
And with this malevolent cry he ran away like an angered teenage girl, green tears of frustration already streaming down his face. His brothers giggled wickedly in unison like the little devils they were.