Author's Note: This is to the tune of the last of the Oompa-Loompa songs, Mike Teavea. Again, I must warn you off if you haven't read book 12. I think I'm somewhat week on the storyline, but the main point is the song anyway. I would say this is my last song parody, but I said that a long time ago and had to put up, like, five more so there might be others in the future…
Mr. Tiny stood by the pool of acidic green liquid and listened to Darren's howls of agony as it began to dissolve him. He smiled, enjoying hearing the tortured screams of the boy who had foiled all his plans, even if he was his own son. Darren's insides were starting to dissolve completely when pulsing rock music resounded from further along in the cavern. Interested, Mr. Tiny half-turned his neck to see behind him, and saw many of his servants grimly caught up in a nice, hypnotic dance. His smile grew wider. He always enjoyed it when they sang, and often helped direct them too. He couldn't watch for too long though, because Darren's bones had sunk to the bottom of the pool and if he didn't get them out soon they'd melt as well.
"The most important thing,
That we've ever learned
The most important thing we've learned as far Des Tiny's concerned
Is never, never sell your soul to this barbaric man
Or better still learn to ignore
Mr. Tiny's old rotten core.
Ah-ah…nevernever let him…
Ah-ah…nevernever let him…"
Mr. Tiny found himself nodding his head to the tune as he placed together Darren's new skeleton. He'd didn't care the song was about avoiding him – he just liked the beat. The music began to intensify.
"Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!"
(Heavy metal music break)
"Aahh! Aahh! Aahh! Aahh!
Nevernever let him...nevernever let him...
He'll rot the senses in your head!
He kills imagination dead!
He'll clog and clatter up your mind!
He makes a soul so dull and blind! (So dull! So dull!)
You can no longer comprehend
A duty from a cruel command! (A cruel command! A cruel command!)
Your brain becomes as soft as cheese
Your thinking powers rust and freeze
You cannot think, you only SEE! (You only see, you only see)
Regarding little Darren Shan
We'll just have to see if we can (see if we can)
Help him live through the task at hand (at hand…at hand…)
We'll just have to see if we can
Help him through the task at hand
And get his soul to paradise
But if we can't…then that's too bad!"
By this time Mr. Tiny was just finishing up sewing together Darren's skin. Darren himself didn't much look like he was enjoying this, and was even more afraid from the song. Then Darren was sent through the time portal to destroy the destiny of his former self…
Author's Note: Thanks to all of you who reviewed my parodies and I hope you will all take the time to read and review future ones as well!
Genius of Music (Ari)
Angelkitten23
Untaintedchild
SDSLCFan
Schizophrenic Squirrel
Stained in Negativity
DarkLightningEnvy
Sophia
Inyx
Freaky Butt Mate
'Tis good to know that people still come on to look at Darren Shan fanfiction even if only I and few others are the only ones who still write it now...thank you all!