The sensation of warm fur and the light sound of pages of a book being turned were the first things Selene could hold onto consciously. One eye slightly opening, closing quick from the pain, gave her the image of a small room, darkened curtains, and a figure in black sitting at her bedside, reading. Despite the aching in her head, she smiled softly. "Good book?"
The dry, croaked words made Severus jump. "How long have you been awake?"
"Just now." Selene tried pushing herself up on the bedding, but her arms wouldn't allow it, collapsing beside her, and Galileo jumped onto her chest, keeping her down. Opening her eyes again, cringing at the daylight peeking through the edges of curtains, she gave up struggling. "Where in Hades' underworld am I, anyway?"
He slipped a bookmark in place. "My home."
"No, I'm not."
Severus shut the book and stared at her. "I think I'd know my own residence."
"Dungeons don't have windows."
"I said my home, not my apartments."
The deep brown eyes flew open, pain and ache forgotten. "I'm not at the school?" Panic rang through her, and she began pushing herself up again.
Severus' hand shot out, stopping her from reaching her goal. "Don't. You've been unconscious for four days, and you haven't had a chance to replenish your blood." He turned and reached for a cup on the bedside table, left sitting for her to wake up. "Drink this down. You need it."
Selene gulped down the familiar potion, barely tasting it, before giving him a look, wary and cautious, her body tense, waiting for the looks of loathing and the painful outcasting that would inevitably come. "How did you know I needed this?"
Dumb question, Selene. You know he knows… he has to know. He's not stupid. You've spent enough time in his company to know that. Let him tell you he knows so he can fulfill whatever chivalric duty he has left, and you can politely excuse yourself from his care and go back to hiding from the world. Again. The way you always do when you let anyone within a furlong of you. Stupid girl.
Severus sighed in both exhaustion and exasperation, catching the accusation in her still-scratchy voice. "Because I've been taking care of you for those four days, pouring blood purification potions down your throat and holding you while you purged the poison from your blood."
Her head spun with his words. "Potions? Four days? Poison?"
He nodded, reaching for a cool cloth, settling it on her forehead for her, and giving her a small vial of liquid. "Swallow that. It'll help with the pain." As soon as she had, he sat down again, groaning deeply, rubbing his eyes before starting. "What do you remember?"
Morgan's lake, he looks exhausted. It's like he hasn't slept in days. Galileo's purring and both potions helped her regain a sense of stability, mentally at least. "I was out on the tower. It was close to sunrise. I drank some wine, I couldn't breathe, and the next thing I remember I was here."
"Your wine was laced with wolfsbane."
"That's impossible."
"I'm not lying to you, Selene."
"I know you're not. I believe you. It just doesn't make sense."
His jaw dropped. The quickness and the calm vehemence of those words from her…
She's just been poisoned and snuck out of her tower into some stranger's bed, in some house she's never laid eyes on before, and she says she believes me? I don't know if I would believe me after all that.
His hands rubbed his face again, serving as a distraction to allow him time to regain composure. "Anyway, you were poisoned, and since we had very little time to act and no idea who had poisoned your wine, Dumbledore thought it safer to get you away from the school. And Umbridge," he added as an afterthought.
At the sound of that heretic's name, Selene went cold. "He told you then, didn't he? About me. What I am."
He watched her face lose the color it had regained. Oh gods, she's worried I'm going to react badly to this. Circe's song, what do I tell her? 'Not a problem, I don't care you're a vampire, because it's no worse than the things I've done in my own life'? Gods above and below, first a lecture from a werewolf and now walking on eggshells around a moroii. What's next? Will the damn kneazle throw in her two knuts too?
Galileo raised her head and glared at the man from her spot, curled on her mistress, the look in her narrowed yellow eyes reminding him that her claws were retractable, thank you very much.
Some days, I wonder why I left the Death Eaters…
"No, he didn't." It was his turn to look away. "I noticed for myself, when I carried you off the tower."
When he… "You did what?"
"You collapsed on the tower. Dumbledore had me carry you off, to get you inside before dawn." Severus got up from the chair, suddenly feeling as if he was about to be interrogated, or cornered, or something horrific that only women seemed capable of accomplishing. Hence Bellatrix's success in Voldemort's inner circle. "Are you hungry? I can go make you something…"
Hungry? He tells me he carried me off my tower like I was some damsel in distress, not finishing the story of how the hell I got poisoned or what I've gone through this whole time, and offers me food! MEN! "I'm not hungry, Severus Snape. I'm trying to figure out this puzzle you're feeding me, and my head's hurting again." She almost smirked when he stopped dead in his tracks, turning to face her, leaning back against the wall. If you're going to play knight in shining armor, Professor, I'll play damsel to get what I want. And I want very much to know why I'm lying here like a day-old kitten, aching like I was thrown from my tower, and I want to know now.
"I wish I could help you with that puzzle. But Dumbledore has no idea how wolfsbane got into your wine, and since the wine normally would have distilled it so that it wouldn't be fatal to humans, that means someone who knew you were a vampire added it to your wine. Someone who knew that wolfsbane is a toxin to vampiric blood in the first place, since that side effect isn't terribly well-known. And someone who knew you personally, since he was sure that almost no one at the school knew you were a vampire." Severus paused, looking away from her. "You kept your secret well."
Guilt hit Selene hard at his words.
Silence hung heavy between them for a few long moments, until he broke it. "I need to go brew some more of the replenishment potion. If you need me, send Galileo. She'll come find me. Try to get some rest."
To her relief, Selene managed to hold back her tears of confused frustration until the door clicked shut behind him.
Severus tossed and turned on the guest bed, the mattress harder than his own, the pillows flatter than his own, the blankets nowhere as heavy. The doors between his room and this one had been kept open until this moment, to allow him to hear her every toss and turn, to allow Galileo free rein, and to ensure him that she still breathed.
It's not as if an assassin would be able to slip in and attack her a second time, with the number of charms and wards I've managed to install in fourteen years' time.
The silence in the small house was deafening.
: Pain. Fear. Darkness. Fear. Fear. Darkness. Pain. Ache. Sorrow. Fear. :
His eyes jerked open at the sudden rush of emotions flooding his mind, his body shaking, sweat covering his brow. It took a moment for him to realize the feelings weren't his own.
Selene tossed and turned across the hall, growing more and more restless, a soft whimper coming from her room.
: Fear. Dark. Let me out:
The emotions grew sharper, clearer, with images coming to his mind. A dark room. Coldness. Confusion. Men in dark robes.. Bright lights.
Gods-be-damned vampiric empathy. What the hell is going on in her head?
The tossing and turning grew worse, Selene's movements making the bed creak, her whimpers growing louder, more pained, more insistent.
A loud meow came from the foot of his bed, and a soft thump at his knee told him the kneazle had come to him. Her eyes glowed in the light of the one lit candle, and she gave him a look that plainly said 'fix this now'. Damn it. She's having a bloody nightmare and the cat decides to make me play nanny.
With a moan, he shoved his blankets aside, the chill of the air hitting him as he walked out of the small guest room and into the doorway of his own bedroom.
Selene tossed harder in the bed, her whimpers growing coherent. "No…let me out…I didn't know… it wasn't me….stop!"
A thought and a gesture lit candles in sconces as he went to shake her. "Selene. Wake up. It's a nightmare."
His touch managed to break through her thoughts, and she shot up like a bolt, eyes wide open but unseeing, her mouth wide open. "Don't!"
"Selene!" Her screams didn't stop, her eyes didn't focus on anything, as he shook her shoulders, kneeling on the mattress in front of her. "Selene, it's a nightmare. Wake up."
: No! Cold! Pain! Fear! Letmeout! Don't! STOP:
Images of a tiny room, a cold floor, strange men, and an infinite darkness slammed against him, as Selene thrashed in his arms. Her nightmare had control of her, wasn't letting go of her mind, and he couldn't think of anything to do to break its hold on her.
Save one.
Forgive me, Selene.
He slapped her. Hard.
Immediately, Selene's eyes focused, and the shaking stopped. Tears poured down her cheeks, and her breathing was hitched. The images and frantic collage of emotions stopped. For a moment, she sat there, before she suddenly launched herself into his arms, crying and shaking into his shoulder, clutching him as if he would protect her, shield her from the barrage of pain and misery that had consumed her in her sleep.
Instinctively, his arms went up around her shoulders, cradling her, letting her calm herself down.
It took a moment for Selene to realize where she was, who she was clinging to, and how it probably all looked to him. As if burned, she let go of him, pushing away quickly. "Sorry…so sorry…" Her apologies were as chaotic as her thoughts clearly had been. "I woke you…silly nightmare…"
He shook his head, trying to reassure her, not wanting to upset her more than necessary. "I couldn't sleep anyway." The lie came easily to him, and his hand reached for her cheek, wiping away a tear. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Selene shook her head forcefully, her hair flying.
Severus nodded, once. It's her nightmare, not yours. Her choice. "I'll be across the hall if you need anything." He rose, giving her the personal space she clearly wanted.
Her voice was barely audible, even in the complete noiselessness of the room. "It's not a nightmare. It's a memory."
His feet stopped, his body turning to look at her, curled up into herself, looking small and lost and frightened in the large bed, the paleness of her skin increased by her black hair and dress. "Clearly, not a pleasant one."
Selene shook her head, snatching a pillow to hug to her chest. "It's not."
Severus hesitated a moment longer. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"
Her eyes looked up, meeting his, unshed tears swimming in darkness. "How do I know I can trust you with the truth?"
His blood ran cold.
"I don't know. There are days I wouldn't trust me with anything."
Selene chewed on her lip, contemplating, weighing thoughts in her mind.
Do I let him in?
Will it hurt if I do?
Will it hurt more if I don't?
How can I trust anyone?
He's not just anyone.
If Claudius knew…
Claudius can bloody well bugger off!
"I was twenty-one." Selene's voice shook with those words, eyes closed, still clinging to the pillow as if it were a lifesaver and she were adrift at sea. "At university. The war had just ended."
Severus stepped back into the room, torn between standing and sitting.
He opted for the floor.
The words fell from Selene's lips, slowly at first, eventually coming of their own accord, as if pushing, fighting to come from her, as if her mind had made the decision to tell the tale without consulting her. "I was attending a Muggle university. Because I wanted to study Astronomy more. And I tried to avoid the war, to run from it. I came back to my dormitory one evening, and these men were there. They took me…" her voice choked for a moment, but she took a deep breath, resolving to continue, "…they grabbed me and apparated with me. No reason, no warning. And they left me in this cold room. No bed, no chair. And these other men came, and the only light was from their wands, and they took turns interrogating me. Asking me about my loyalties. My actions. My reasons for being in university. Why England and not Italy. They came and went. And when they left me, they left Dementors to guard me."
The images that had seemed so confusing to him earlier made eerie sense. The witchhunts that went on after the war… after Potter… Merlin, no wonder she's hidden all these years in Hogwarts…
Selene began to shake again, her hands tremulous, but her voice continued in the darkness. "Three days. They kept me for three days. Had a witch come to inspect me for the Dark Mark. Brought a legilimens to go through my mind. Kept asking me those questions, kept leaving me with the Dementors. Told me I'd been turned in, suspected of working for Voldemort. That someone told them I was a vampire. That they knew vampires were allied with him. That clearly, I must be too. They refused to believe me, to listen to me. All I wanted was to finish my studies…"
Her nerves finally snapped, and a fresh wave of tears came.
This time he didn't hesitate, but rather pulled her into his arms, letting her tremble against him, silently sobbing.
As if I didn't already have enough reasons in the world to hate myself…
He stayed with her until she cried herself into exhaustion, then laid her back into the bed, curling back into the chair beside her bed to keep watch over her.
When she finally fell back asleep, he still sat there, guilt feeding his conscience.