Chapter 1: A Most Rushed Meeting

"RANMA!"

"Ahh! Akane! It's not what it looks like! I would never..."

"What else can it be you stupid jerk!" Akane screamed, "Why don't you try humping this instead!" She raised a heavy wooden mallet (which happens to be around whenever she needed it), ready to break some bones.

"Waah! Akane! I swear! I slipped and fell on her!" Ranma pushed himself off of Ukyo scantily clad body – Ukyo, knowing her Ranma honey would visit, had put on her best charms – despite all ideals of feminine modesty (she still remembered the schoolboy blush on Ranma's cheek when he saw her).

Akane glared at Ranma, violence and bloodlust blazing fiercely in her eyes.

"Eep!" Ranma began, fumbling for words, "I was helping Ukyo scrub the kitchen, but I slipped!" Akane's only narrowed her eyes, "I swear Akane! I would never do that with Ukyo!"

At those words, Ukyo looked up at Ranma, a look of reproach and hurt in her eyes, a tremble on her lips. Clasping her immodest dress about her body in such exaggerated helplessness that even Akane almost saw through it, she cried, "Do you hate me then Ranma! Am I never good enough for you!" Ukyo's voice broke at the last words, good enough for you! And she turned away from him, Ranma was sure she had burst into tears.

"Ukyo!" An apologetic gentleness crept into Ranma words, "It's not that, you're my cute fiancée remember! And I would love-"

Ranma froze; the sheer aura of demonic anger that flowed from Akane seemed to have encaged his heart into a penguin icebox.

Ukyo lifted her face towards Ranma, all her pervious tears and sadness apparently evaporated, "you would love…?"

"Well…?" Akane beckoned.

Ranma gulped, he literarily had seconds to saw good-bye his manhood before Akane and the wooden mallet made sure the only thing he would give a girl by laying on top her was splinters.

Space Here

"Stupid Akane that macho man-chick," Ranma grumbled painfully, she was hurting all over by this point.

Akane had left home in a fit of rage and Ukyo had left to take a bath, leaving Ranma to trudge through the heavy spring rain shower in shorts and a tank-top alone. The vivid memory of Akane's rage still droning in his thoughts

"Why don't you go join her you stupid insensitive jerk!" Akane had screamed at him before turning upon her heels and dashing home taking his umbrella and hat with her.

Ranma was cold, wet, miserable, and worse of all, a girl, he muttered, "The least she could've done was leave me some warmer clothe…Brr…Stupid Akane…" Ranma shivered some more.

Huh? Something up ahead caught Ranma's eye. Squinting Ranma was surprised to see a man dressed in simple kendo robes walking toward her.

Who is that? Ranma wondered, then, Who is dumb enough to trudge through pouring rain with so little clothe and no umbrella…Aside from herself that is

The figure drew closer, and the details, previously obstructed by falling rain, grew clearer. Ranma noticed a kendo sword in the figure's hands, and was further intrigued to see another kendo sword strapped to his side. Recognizing the powerful grace of the man's walk and the regal bearing with which he carried himself, Ranma gasped!

He'd been missing for nearly eight month!

"Kuno!" She called out the challenge – annoyed at the slight hint of concern in her voice, forgetting, in a sudden flight of fancy, she was a girl.

"My Pigtailed Goddess!" Kuno lunged forward, thinking to catch Ranma in an embrace, "In your utter love for me, you would come out to search for me in this heavy rain! Oh truly, your love can only be justly rewarded by going out on a date with me!"

Before Ranma could raise her leg to give Kuno's welcome-back kick to the face, she found herself surrounded by Kuno's strong arms and enfolded by his white kendo robes, which to Ranma's great surprise, were perfectly dry.

What's going on? The thought flashed across Ranma's mind, What is this strange aura that surrounds him? Or am I getting slow? Stupid girl body!

"Ahh, my Pig-Tailed Goddess, your fragrance is of the sweetest drops of spring's rains."

Impatiently, Ranma pushed against Kuno, trying to pull away from Kuno's embrace, "It's spring time and it's raining, idiot!" Ranma would've said that had she been able to pull away from Kuno's arms, but she found herself trapped.

He smells like peppermint and cherry blossoms… The thought flashed across Ranma's mind before being angrily banished away by Ranma's normal thought processes.

Then, she felt Kuno's arms tighten around her back, squashing her breasts against his hard chest. Angrily, Ranma shifted her weight slightly backward, preparing for the kick that would send Kuno flying back up into the clouds.

Stupid pervert!

But, before Ranma could so much as blink, Kuno slightly pulled her gently away from him and studied her. His eyes widened in alarm as he glanced over the bruises on her neck and cheeks. His hands, quick and dexterous, ran alone Ranma's side, accidentally pressing painfully against a broken rib forcing Ranma's lips to betray her with a small gasp of pain.

"Kuno!" Ranma once again pushed against Kuno, this time successfully freeing herself, "Stop that you pervert!"

Kuno ignored her, "Who did this to you my beautiful Pigtailed Goddess!" A note of anger was detectable in his voice, "was it that knave Saotome?" Kuno clenched his fist, a look of austere determination on his face, "what magnificent cowardice, resorting to beating up pretty girls, how pathetic."

"Well, Kuno!" Ranma, whose voice was now filled with threat and bravado, clearly forgot she was a girl, "Ranma Saotome will beat you up pretty good too! He'll show you who's pathetic!"

"So it was that dastardly Saotome; that fool will pay for this!" Kuno turned to Ranma, whose defiant stare went ignored, "Come, I shall escort you to my beloved Akane Tendo's dojo where you may find safety for the night whilst I, your noble knight, challenge the lowly cur Ranma Saotome. I shall rescue you from the grasp of such a rapacious and evil man."

Without waiting for Ranma's response – which would've been a kick to the face, Kuno scooped up Ranma's lithe and feminine body into his arms, making sure to lean her head against his muscular chest. Struggling against Kuno's strange new strength in futility, Ranma couldn't help but feel the gentle warmth and noble strength that radiated from Kuno's strong body. Ranma was acutely conscious of the play of muscles in Kuno's arm against her thighs and legs, and the gentle pressing of her breast against his chest…

Then, Kuno began in a sultry whisper that unnerved Ranma more than a hundred cats, "Ahh, my Pigtailed Goddess, once I dispose of Saotome, we shall consummate our love locked in passionate embrace."

Ranma couldn't help but scream.