The next morning I woke to a flurry of maids coming in to dress me up. Also with the maids came Kaddar's mother and his two older sisters, Nadi and Nadareh. Both of his sisters were beautiful and as dark as Kaddar was, and in this collage of dark skinned beauties from the maids to the nobles, I felt pasty white and as self conscious as an albino pigeon among sleek ravens. As I took my bath and scrubbed my skin to a raw pink, I wondered if Kaddar thought I was unattractive. I knew I was seen as a beauty to rival my mother back home, but here there was a different kind of beauty that was placed on a pedestal, and I feared I lacked that trait.
After I put on my white wedding dress, a simple long gown with an extravagant gold collar, the maids stepped back and let my new family do my hair and makeup, as tradition dictated. Nadi applied kohl to my eyes while Nadareh braided my hair. According to my mother-in-law, braids excited men sexually, and my braids were designed to excite Kaddar. I found this funny, but looking around it was obvious I was the only one, so I choked down my laughter the best I could.
"I know your own mother must have talked to you before you left," the Princess Fazia began as she watched the other two females put on the finishing touches to my face and hair, "and I know Tortall has different beliefs about the intimacy of marriage. But do not disappoint him. I expect to see blood on the sheets in the morning; otherwise I will doubt every child you claim as his, and despite his decision to take only one wife, I will see to it that he has a harem so we know that at least one child is his."
She patted my head in a motherly way and adjusted my veil slightly. I was a virgin, but I was now seriously considering cutting myself and bleeding on the sheets rather than have her catch them spotless.
"Come now, it is time to go," she said and she and her two daughters led me out of the room towards the temple. Carthaki weddings were not like Tortallan ones; the weddings themselves consisted of signing a paper in front of a priestess of the Graveyard Hag. The banquets and parades afterwards were what made the day an event.
Kaddar was already there and he bowed to me while I curtsied. The priestess was an old woman who cackled at the pair of us. "You will make such a fine couple," she told us and handed Kaddar a quill to sign the document. "Learn to get to know him soon, dearie," she told me with a conspiring wink, "He's quite a charmer and knows how to treat a woman right!" Kaddar smiled with embarrassment while I tried to suppress a grin. I signed the paper quickly and the priestess rolled it with deft fingers. "Emperor Kaddar and Empress Kalasin, I declare you husband and wife!"
Kaddar bowed deeply to the priestess, far deeper than what was needed or expected. "Goddess," he addressed her, and I followed with a deep curtsy of my own. Daine had said the Graveyard Hag was very interfering, but I was stunned that she would go this far. When I looked up again she was gone, and Kaddar was offering his arm to me. I took it.
The parades and banquet were all extravagant and beautiful, with bright colors and amazing displays of magic and music and dancing, but I scarcely watched any of it. My mind was on one thing only: the wedding night.
After we said our farewells to the court and well-wishers, servants led Kaddar and me to our rooms. The second I dismissed my servant, I tore the veil from my head and ran shaking fingers through the top of my hair before they caught in my braids. Kaddar had gone to his own rooms and I was starting to feel panicked. Do I go to his rooms or does he come to mine? I sat down hard on the bed and put my face in my hands. Having never really talked to Kaddar, I didn't know what he was expecting of me. This was an arranged marriage for two countries' gain, so how does it work? It couldn't work like a regular marriage, because if so, we'd be already be together, wouldn't we? I got up and began to pace, hoping the steady pumping of my legs would somehow make life make sense.
Was he expecting me to come to him? The thought make me balk physically. I couldn't possibly do that! If he wasn't expecting me then our already awkward marriage would just become more uncertain. What if he was feeling the same things, and uncertain as to if he should come here? Did I even want him to come?
We'll discuss it in the morning over breakfast, I thought to myself as I resumed pacing. The idea of morning made me halt roughly. His mother would check our sheets for blood in the morning. If his mother found no blood, she would think I was not a virgin and spread it around the castle. My reputation would be ruined and tainted for the rest of my life and all the plans and dreams I had of changing Carthak for the better would be destroyed. No one would back the plans of a whore Empress.
I glanced around for my knife but knew it was a foolish thing to do. Kaddar might tell his mother nothing had happened, and she would find the bloodied sheets or the servants would. They would think the worst of me and know I tried to trick them. The rumors would spread like a wildfire in a drought.
Someone knocked on the door and I was already up with my hand curled around the doorknob before I realized who it must be and froze. I mentally forced my hand to turn the doorknob and face him. My last thought before the door swung completely open was that Kaddar could have his way with me as much and as abusive as he wanted and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it.
His eyes widened slightly at the sight of me and I realized that it was the first time he had ever seen me without my veil on. This also meant that my look of a cow about to be slaughtered was clear for his scrutiny. I had not realized how dependent I had become on the veils to slightly cloak my expressions in the last three weeks until that moment.
"My lord, may I be of service?" I asked before mentally kicking myself for my choice of words.
To both of our surprise, he smiled. Once I overcame the initial shock, I began to smile shyly. "Kalasin, may we talk? I think this is our first opportunity to talk freely to each other without chaperons, and I think it would be foolish for us to pass this up."
"Of course, my lord, come in," I moved to one side and gestured to the chairs and sofa in one corner of the room. He sat down on the couch and motioned for me to sit beside him. "Please, Kalasin, it would make things so much easier if you just called me Kaddar."
"Of course," I said. "Kaddar," I added after a pause. I remained board straight on the couch and refused to let myself relax. I could tell he wasn't relaxing either. "Would you like anything to drink?" I asked politely.
"No, thank you," he replied, and silence followed.
I could feel myself growing redder as the minute slowly ticked on. I looked up from my lap and saw that he was studying me. Our eyes locked, dark brown eyes to my blue eyes, and before I could stop myself, I asked, "What is it that you expect of me, Kaddar?" My voice sounded softer than I intended, and I broke our connection by dropping my eyes to the floor.
"Truthfully? I don't know. It was always about finding an Empress to help me rule this land and help me solve its problems. I never really thought about anything else until you arrived and I saw you for the first time." Cool fingers pressed under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. "Kalasin, we don't have to decide anything tonight. And this isn't going to work unless we are completely honest with each other."
The first thing he asked of me was honesty, and it was something I would have to lie about to gain his trust. From the time I was old enough to understand, I had been taught that lying was a necessary evil that royals had to perform daily. I was taught not to lie to my parents, but to everyone else it was almost imperative that I accomplish the skill of lying, especially when it concerned other monarchs. I could see in his eyes the truth; he would lie to me if he thought it was necessary. At least we understood each other, I thought wryly.
"Of course, my lord," I answered. "Kaddar."
He leaned back slightly. "Good. In terms of children, you know that we must have heirs." He flushed and looked as if he was wishing he could use a disappearing spell right then.
It didn't seem fair that Kaddar should be the only one embarrassing himself, so I swallowed my pride. "Are you suggesting we start tonight?" I asked, and gestured toward my bed.
He stood up quickly and strode away from me while rubbing the back of his neck. "This isn't how I wanted it to go at all," he muttered to himself passionately.
I pleated my skirt before mentally ordering myself to settle my nervous movements. "Kaddar," I called him and he froze where he stood. "Why don't we wait and handle this later?" I paused them added, "We can just work on being friends."
He turned slowly on his heel. "I would like that, Kalasin," he said slowly and he returned to sit next to me on the sofa. "So what do you think of Carthak?" he asked, and I could see that he genuinely interested in what my response would be.
"It's a beautiful country," I said honestly. Maybe being honest with him would not be as hard as I thought. "And it's such a large land with so many different cultures. I am impressed by how well you have kept this country together, especially through some controversial reforms."
He looked please. "It hasn't been easy, especially taking control of a country after it's been under the regime of a power- and war-hungry emperor mage, but I have tried my best. There are good people here, despite what my uncle's rule has impressed on the other nations. We still have trouble with the nobles uprising in the South, and of course slavery and extreme poverty in some parts are still very prevalent, but they are getting better."
"I have been thinking about possible options regarding your slavery issue." He looked up at me and nodded for me to continue.
"What seems to me is the problem, is that slavery is an ongoing thing. If you start limiting the number of slaves allowed to be brought in and be sold every year then soon there will be no places selling them at all."
"It's a nice thought, but it would only benefit the slave traders. If we limit the amount then the price would go up and they would make more money."
"But don't you see? That's what you want. If the price of slaves rises, then your people will not want to buy as many. They would be losing money by buying slaves, and so they'll keep with what they have. Then we'll start changing policies. Children of slaves will not be slaves. Then, after several years of owning a slave, the owners will be required to set him free or begin paying. I think the year the slave gets set free will have to depend on the age and how he has been enslaved so that it doesn't happen all at once. A subtle and slow plan will be met with less resistance than a sudden change."
He pressed his thin lips together as if thinking hard on the suggestion. "I think I will actually consider it," he told me seriously. I smiled. He gave me a wry smile. "When did you come up with that idea? Or did your father and advisors suggest it?"
"I have been thinking about it for quite some time," I said civilly with an edge of cold anger in my voice. I didn't like for others to think I have been fed ideas and that I couldn't think for myself. "And despite what you were taught to believe, women can think too."
Kaddar winced. "I forgot how much you Tortallan women get offended by such questions. I apologize, I didn't mean to offend."
I smiled at him with humor. "It is not a problem, just don't do it again," I teased lightly.
We talked far into the night about our countries' traditions and childhood memories. I told him about my family and being raised with five siblings in a palace and he told me about being the heir to the throne and being taken away from his family at a young age. I drifted off during a story Kaddar was retelling to me about hunting with his father a few years before the man had died. I felt him pick me up and place me on the cool silk sheets of the bed and remove my slippers and golden collar. My eyes fluttered open and he leaned over me and cradled my head in his hands. He pressed his lips chastely to my forehead. "Good night, Kalasin Iliniat of Carthak. Sleep well."