Chapter Four: To the Victor Go the Spoils
"Kuno, you bastard! The humiliation you've dealt me today, I'll repay a hundred fold!" Ranma leapt high into the sky, the heat of the after school sun beating on his back, the heat of his shoe ready to start beating on Kuno's face. He had spent the entire day brooding and scheming up ways to defeat Kuno – much to the chagrin of Miss Hinako ("Pay attention Saotome!" and then "Fifty Cent Satsu!"). And now, after school, with schemes not much brighter than a cartload of assholes, Ranma's only plan was luck and determination to put Kuno back in his place.
But Kuno simply stood there, unworried, uncaring, his eyes closed looking handsome amidst the gentle zephyrs and swaying grass. The boys among the crowd (which always gathered at the advent of a fight) looked at him with surprise and grudging respect, and the girls stared him with undisguised admiration and (in Kuno's imagination) carnal desire.
Sidestepping to evade Ranma's face-crushing kick, Kuno, taking a lesson from Nabiki (they are classmates, after all), said coolly, "Alright Saotome, I, the mighty Blue Thunder, legend among legend, shall humor your challenge, but if you lose you must pay for the expenses for my date with the Pigtailed Goddess."
"And if I win, you'll…" But that didn't matter, because Ranma's head had an accidentally run-in with Kuno's sword – incidentally, the sword won.
Ranma tried again, and again, losing every single time and consequently every single bet (much to the surprise of all). Eventually, with his entire body, but most painfully his pride, hurting, Akane dragged Ranma kicking and screaming off the battlefield before Ranma lost anything more valuable to Kuno (namely his girl-form's virginity, which, to Akane's great chagrin but Nabiki's camera's pleasure, he was willing to bet).
Space Here
"Jeez Akane! Why did you do that! I could've beaten him that last time!" Ranma protested angrily, hearing no response from Akane, Ranma pressed, "He was weakening, and another moment and I would've put that pervert's lights out!"
Akane walked in silence, the day had faded with the sun over the distant hills and the streets were dark and empty except for the occasional wandering pigeon. Akane was carrying – via piggyback – the injured Ranma (now as a girl because her pride had been hurt enough) on her back. Kuno's quick sword strokes had beat and battered Ranma's body to the point that even walking was painful. Akane had wordlessly literaily dragged him from under Kuno's blade to a nearby fountain, sprinkled some cold water on Ranma's body, hoisted Ranma onto her back and headed off to Dr. Tofu's office all in one easy motion.
Ranma, you're such a jerk, Akane wanted to say, always getting into trouble like this. You deserve it, baka! But she found she couldn't. Despite Ranma's continued bravado, which could've fooled anyone into truly believing Ranma more than capable of snapping Kuno in two, sounded hollow to Akane, and there was an odd tremble to Ranma's voice as he said those very words. No one has ever embarrassed Ranma like this except for when Happosai inflicted the moxibustion on her to take advantage of her body – but that was with a much older and experienced (not to mention crusty and perverted) beast of a man. And of all the cuts and scraps on Ranma's body dealt by Kuno's sword, the one to her pride was not only deepest, but also festered most painfully.
"Well Akane?" Ranma demanded into the night, "Why did you do it huh! Why did you go all macho and jump in on my fight and pull me out like that!"
Akane bit her lip, trying to hold back a flood of harsh words. She did want to sound like an insensitive jerk…like Ranma, she thought with a cynicism that surprised her.
Ranma continued her rants, "Ya know, if it weren't for your uncute tomboy-ness Kuno would be the one hurting!"
Akane snapped, "Oh shut up, Kuno was beating you down and you knew it. I only saved you because I didn't want to see you get hurt." The moment the words fluttered out of her tongue, she regretted it. She felt Ranma's tense up against her, for a brief moment, she imagined Ranma crying, and so she said rather sheepishly, "I'm sorry Ranma…I didn't mean…"
There was a moment of silence, then, "I don't need your pity…" The two headed to Dr. Tofu's place in silence.
Space Here
"Hmm…these sword wounds are quite something!" Dr. Tofu said as he inspected Ranma's womanly body.
Ranma was laid out, practically naked, on one of Dr. Tofu's stretchers. The doctor had ordered Akane to strip Ranma down so he could easier identity and treat the various wounds on her body. Ranma was dubious and insisted on first returning to a guy, but since no hot water was available (the storm the previous night had damaged the heating unit), Ranma had no choice.
"There are some bone fractures and displacements all over, so we'll fix that up first, then we'll move onto the cuts and bruises." Dr. Tofu smiled as if completely oblivious to the entire embarrassing situation.
Ranma, on the other hand, couldn't help but flush red as a rose. Not that she was ever self-conscious, but the sheer proximity of a man and his probing fingers (to say in the least!) about her scantily clad body seemed to render her normal thoughts and mindset powerless to these strange sensations running up and down her spine. If only Akane, or even her pop was with her right now, she supposed she wouldn't be so uncomfortable, but the both of them were outside – Akane was explaining what happened to the panda.
Cursing this curse of the curséd girl body under her breath, Ranma shifted nervously, "Dr. Tofu," Ranma began, her voice sounding much too timid for her liking, "Could you…Um...Oww!" Ranma's fumble for words was cut short when Dr. Tofu's fingers pressed against a tender spot on her inner thigh.
Ignoring her outcry (not to mention the sheer look of discomfiture), Dr. Tofu said, rather seriously, "Okay, I see what the problems are. This may hurt a little, but you'll have to bear with me." Without waiting for a response, Dr. Tofu's hands, a fusion between skill and chi, dove at Ranma's body. Soon, sounds of bones scrunching, snapping, and occasionally popping reverberated into the halls they were quickly followed by sheer screams and moans of pain.
"Ranma! What's going on?" Akane and a panda burst in, by the looks on their faces, one could've inferred that they assumed nothing less than torture was being carried out.
"One second Akane," Dr. Tofu, without even turning to face them, ignored the interruption and continued to bend, twist, and press joints, bones, and bruises eliciting cries, screams, and moans from Ranma. Finally, brushing a bead of sweat from his forehand, Dr. Tofu announced triumphantly, "There, now just a little of my miracle healing salve and you'll be as good as new! How are you feeling?"
"Oww…" Ranma's voice was shaky and trembling, her breathing came in ragged gasps, her entire body flushed with red from Dr. Tofu's intense "remedy." But as she lay on the stretcher, the pain slowly began to fade.
Ranma's hands rested gently against her chest, her breasts rising and falling with each quivering new breath. Ranma's legs were draw up slightly, rather by accident or modesty Akane didn't know, but Akane did notice something else: Ranma was quite pretty. Ranma's milky and soft skin, tinged with a hint of rose contrasted beautifully in the serene glow of the florescent lights in the room. The very position of her body mixed with the look of exhaustion that could've easily been seen as one of helplessness, gave Ranma a look of gentle femininity (Nabiki later claimed Ranma looked like, in this scene, Sailor Moon in a doujinshi).
Good thing there are no men (except a clueless Dr. Tofu) around! Akane mused to herself lightheartedly, but then another, more pesky thought, entered her mind, Why does Ranma get to be prettier than me too…But as quickly as that thought came, Akane angrily banished it, such things are beneath her.
"Akane…?" Dr. Tofu tapped Akane on the shoulder.
Realizing she had been staring at Ranma's scantily clad body lying helpless on a stretcher (if she been a boy, she would've passed out from the nasal blood loss), she quickly looked away, a flush rising in her cheeks. Clearing her throat, her mind racing for a quick ticket out of the spotlight, "Dr. Tofu…" An idea came, "Dr. Tofu, today, when Ranma used the Hiryu Shoten Ha on Kuno, how did Kuno dodge it?" The ploy worked.
Dr. Tofu sighed with unusual seriousness, "That was Kuno's chi…I was there at the match," He added, answering Akane's unasked question.
Ranma perked up, her wounds either forgotten or healed, "Yeah! I felt his chi too, what was that?"
"It is ancient Taoist chi trick, by calming your own chi, you can detect your opponent's position by battle aura alone – in effect, you can predict with some accuracy what your opponents will do next. Because he was using two swords, it becomes even harder to hit him." Dr. Tofu nodded gravely, then adding in a lighter tone, "I learned it in the Chinese School of Traditional Herbal Medicines."
Ranma sat up, leaning toward the doctor with such eagerness that she seemed to have forgotten how little she was wearing, "Say! If you know the move, can't you teach it to me?"
Dr. Tofu shook his head, "But I don't remember…Besides, even if you learned it, you still won't be able to defeat him, you two will just not be able to hit each other."
"Well!" Ranma pressed, unwilling to give up, "Is there anyway I can beat him?"
Dr. Tofu nodded, "You just have to divert his chi – you have to find out a way to distract him while fighting, you must know his weakness. But if you two are enemies, then it'll probably be very difficult for you to get close enough to him to do that…"
But Ranma seemed undaunted; instead, a smile rose to her lips. Akane could almost see Ranma's mind concocting some lame-brained scheme.
"Ranma?" Akane began, looking at Ranma with amusement, "what are you planning?"
"My date with Kuno tomorrow."
Author's Note: Phew! This will hopefully be the dullest chapter in this short story! If you're, dear reader, wondering why I even bothered to include it – it's for more characterization.