Our private dinners became a biweekly tradition for both of us. We hadn't kissed since the day in the menagerie, but we were becoming fast friends. For me, he was quickly becoming something more. Every time I saw him my heart skipped a beat and my breathing became shallow and quick. I wanted to be around him and touch him, and more than anything I wanted him to kiss me again like he did by the giraffe enclosure.

It wasn't hard to see that I was falling in love with my husband. I wanted him – heart, body, and soul – but the timing was… inconvenient. The Eastern Lands were rising up to march against the capital and Kaddar and I were very busy trying to pacify the unruly mob. Both of our energies were spent on the new trouble brewing in the east, not to mention the daily tribulations of being monarchs of a large and unstable country. Our work for the Eastern Lands was in vain, however, and the mob attacked the western city of Manjid, killing hundreds of men, women, and children in their fury. Kaddar had no choice but to send his army against his people and put them down, killing hundreds more and imprisoning their leaders.

That left him in a depressed and angry mood for days. "Can't they tell we were trying our best to help them?" he said one evening over dinner. "Look at you, you're exhausted. You have been working so hard for them that you've become ill."

"I'm fine," I responded automatically. It caught me off guard that he switched subjects to me so quickly. I was sick, but I believed it was a secondary trouble to what happened to the people of Manjid. I had not realized that Kaddar had noticed because I had been trying so hard to hide it from everyone so I could keep working.

"No, you're not. You have dark smudges under your eyes. You are looking paler than usual. You haven't been eating well, and I heard you last night." I looked down with shame at the plate in front of me. I had been violently ill the night before. "Kalasin, you've got to take better care of yourself. What kind of image are you sending to my people by looking like that?"

My heart dropped into a bucket of ice cold water while my face burned. I rose shakily from my gilded chair and leaned forward against the table. "Just because you are having problems with your people doesn't mean you can take it out on me. I worked just as hard as you to prevent what happened at Manjid, and in case you didn't notice because you are too busy criticizing my appearance; you're starting to look ill too. What image are you presenting to your people by looking like that?" I gestured roughly at him then walked stiffly to the door.

"Kalasin, habibi, wait," Kaddar said. "Don't be angry with me, I'm sorry. Come back. You and I both cannot afford to lose a meal. Please?" His tone was gentler than I had ever heard it and I before I knew what was happening, Kaddar was leading me back to my seat and pushing my chair in. He kissed my cheek and then resumed his own place at the table.

"What did you call me?" I asked.

He frowned. "What? Kalasin?"

"No, the other word." I tried to pronounce it, but failed.

"Habibi?" He said again. His teeth flashed into a large smile. "It means sweetheart in Thak." Pleasure settled in me like a warm drink in my belly. "We need a break," he declared as he sipped his wine. "Two weeks off seems like a long enough time to revive our spirits and our health. How does that sound?"

"It sounds great," I said with a relieved smile. "But are you sure we should take one now? It doesn't seem appropriate when the entire country is in mourning for the Eastern Lands and Manjid."

He sighed. "The timing is bad, but frankly, we need it. Even my advisors have mentioned it'd be best if we took some time off. So, where do you want to go? South?"

"That sounds fine," repeated. I didn't care where we went. I hadn't seen any of the country except the shore and the palace.

"Good." He clapped his hands and a slave appeared. "Tell her Imperial Highness' maids and our servants to pack for a two week trip to Siraj."

The slave bowed so low his forehead touched the ground. "Yes, Your Imperial Highness," he murmured.

The next day I found myself leaning against the railing on a ship, breathing in the deep salty smell of the sea. It reminded me strongly of the journey to Carthak, only three months ago. It seemed like so long ago that I had stood on the deck of the ship and thought about my husband. Things hadn't changed too much, because I was still wondering about him.

A cool hand brushed against mine on the railing and I turned to see Kaddar standing beside me. He nodded at me, and then turned to study the blue green waters in front of us. A cold wind blew from the east and I shivered involuntarily.

Kaddar noticed the cold. "Would you like to head inside?"

I nodded and he escorted us to the private suite of the boat. Because of the small size, there was only one room for the monarchs. It would be the second time I would spend the night with my husband, and there were three more nights until our destination. I smiled away my silly jitters and sat down on the bed. We were both ill still, and we were not going to make love on a boat. Or at least, that had been my understanding.

I got comfortable and lay against the pillows. I yanked the veil from my face and undid my hair until it was comfortable. Usually my maids did my hair up in an impossibly awkward and tight twist, and it was always a relief to take it down. Of course, since it was midday, they would probably hunt me down and chastise me, but for now, I was happy to be comfortable. In fact, I only wished I could wear a pair of breeches so that I could be completely comfortable. If only if it wasn't against social rules in Carthak to do so.

Kaddar settled himself against the pillows beside me and we sat in silence for a long while. It wasn't long before I heard his deep breathing and knew that he had fallen asleep.

I adjusted my skirts around me so I could turn and study his sleeping form. He was so precious to me in a way I couldn't fully explain, not even to myself. He was more than just my first real infatuation, or even the man I knew I was starting to love as a woman loves a man: he was my best friend here. I had met a few ladies-in-waiting, but I now knew I could talk to him, confide in him and know that it wasn't expected for me to act majestic or imperial. I could be myself around him and he understood me and I understood him. I loved him.

I watched him until he woke, studying every line and feature in his face and body and memorizing it the best I could.

"Good afternoon, Kaddar," I greeted him. It took a while for his eyes to focus.

"Good afternoon, is it? How long was I asleep?" I shrugged. I had lost all track of time. My full attention moved to his thin, yet so kissable lips. "Kalasin?"

My eyes flew up to his beautiful dark eyes. "Hmm?"

He smiled a little at me. "What were you doing while I was asleep?"

I blushed deeply and moved away from him to lie back down. "Nothing." My voice was a little higher than usual.

Kaddar rolled over and touched my cheek gently. "May I ask you something?" I said nothing so he continued. "Will you marry me?"

I blinked and rolled over to look at him. "What are you talking about? Remember me? Kalasin, your wife?"

He shook his head. "I know that. I am just going about the traditional way of doing this. Let's see, we met, agreed that our families are in the same social circles so it was perfectly acceptable for me to start courting you…"

I blinked. "Oh, Goddess. You've lost it."

He grinned at me and continued. "And now that we've courted for say, three months now, I propose to you. Isn't that how it normally goes in Tortall?"

"Normally, yes. But you do remember the ceremony, the exchanging of vows, everything? Honey, we've been married for almost two month now."

He kissed me gently. "So isn't it time for us to be married for real?" He laughed when he saw my eyes grow huge. "Habibi, I love you." His eyes became uncertain. "And I thought you were growing to love me—"

"I do love you! It's just…" I stopped suddenly. "You love me?"

"With all my heart, Kalasin Iliniat," he whispered softly. He sat up and pulled me into his lap.

"You're acting silly," I told him. It was a bit hard to act indignant when I was huddled against his chest, but I managed. It was especially hard when he had just told me he loved me. But I felt like I had to protest in order to protect myself. I didn't want to get hurt later if he changed his mind.

"I'm on vacation; I'm allowed to act a little silly. Perhaps I'm allowed to act like I'm in love on vacation too. But I am not so sure how this works. Will you help me?"

"Kaddar, I—" but he didn't wait for my answer. His lips were on mine, and within moments he was forcing my mouth open with his tongue. Not that I was protesting now.

A few minutes into paradise and a loud knock at the door interrupted us. Kaddar groaned with annoyance. "What is it?"

"I apologize, Your Imperial Majesty, but dinner is ready for you and Her Imperial Highness."

Kaddar sighed and looked down at me. "Come, Kaddar," I said and slid out of his lap to look for my veil.

"But—"

I hushed him with a touch of my hand to his lips. "We have two more days on this ship with, according to my schedule, not much planned. But, now I that I think of it, I am sure we can think of ways to occupy ourselves in those long hours." I gave him a provocative smile to his shocked but pleased face. My smile faded to a more serious expression. "I never did answer your question."

He looked puzzled. "What?"

I leaned across the bed to him and kissed him. "I will marry you, Kaddar, and I thank you for asking me."

He smiled. "That pleases me more than I can say. Shall I escort you to dinner, my lady?"

"I would be deeply honored, my lord."