Chapter Sex: Chemical Warfare

The sky glowed a gentle warming red as the morning sun crept behind the horizon where the endless ocean met the broad sky. The relaxing sighing of the ocean waves crashing against rocks brought the scent of the salty ocean to the fresh crisp morning air. The beach was empty that morning, as it is, after all, both early and a school day, so the nymphs of the zephyrs and nerids of the sea waves swept by the beach, playfully caressing the clouds and sands with the tenderness of a gentle lover.

Much like the two lovers – for they certainly seemed so from a distance – who sat on a small rocky outcropping that overlooked the shimmering waters. And indeed, any morning jogger, early businessmen, wandering bard, or stalker – the latter being the fad at the moment – would've assume the boy and girl who sat together to be nothing less than the most enamored of love birds.

The lass, whose flaming red hair seemed to radiate a charming girlish cuteness against the velvet glow of the sun, leaned her pretty head against the boy's (man) chest, her eyes closed in tranquil rest. The boy, wearing a simple but warm and fluffy kendo robes (called a "gi?"), placed his arm around her shoulder and leaned the pretty girl against him affectionately. Seeing her shiver – probably against the cold – he promptly went on gather her into his arms, drawing her small lithe body against his. Oh, what love and tenderness, if there had been a crowd of normal people around them, they would've all "awed" and cooed at the cute couple!

Oh, if only the two had been just a regular couple! Instead, however, the boy was a violence obsessed pervert named Kuno, who despite all his pretensions of wanting a loving and intimate relationship, still couldn't help but covet something else from the girl's (which, according to science, is in her pants). And the girl…well, the girl wasn't really even a girl, more of a transgender and occasional homosexual (though he/she vehemently denies it) by the name (though unbeknownst to the boy) of Ranma. Worse yet, the crowd wasn't so much a group of curious exercising joggers or early businessmen, but a group of freaky stalkers ranging from a manically violent tomboy to a sly and greedy (suggestive photo) bounty hunter.

And where the group of normal people may have cooed at the two and petted them in nostalgia, instead, our two stalkers trained everything from zoom lenses to mallets on the boy and girl. In case, of course, something "terrible" (albeit strangely erotic) should poke its head out. But that wouldn't have been necessary, as judging by the expression on the boy's face, that was not the first (probably second) thing on his mind.

"Oh my Pigtailed Goddess! How could I have not known the strength of my sword arm and the dexterity of my blade!" The guilty sword lay on the sand close to them, "How could I have struck one so dearest to my heart so? And for such an innocent wish as to offer me a watermelon!" The unconscious girl refrained from answering, so the boy continued, "The horrible wound my blade must've left upon your breast must, even now, bleed and hurt, let me, oh Pigtailed Girl, your dearest boyfriend and manly lover dress and mend your chest!" Kuno fingers danced about the Pigtailed Girl's blouse, brushing past her sensitive areas as the buttons came loose and the girl's blouse opened.

A quivering blush of fear mistaken for girlish embarrassment and pain flushed onto Ranma's unconscious cheeks.

"Does it hurt my dearest?" Kuno leaned down, "Then let me kiss you to make it all better."

His lips, tongue, his entire being for that matter felt like a million amps of lightning were being pumped through him by a million volts. What a magical moment, Kuno thought to himself, to give the Pigtailed girl her first kiss! It feels as if electricity is coursing through us both!

And then Kuno realized it was electricity (Akane had rigged her mallet for the extra punch)…the mallet sticking out from the back of his head was apparently pumping current into him by the megawatts.

"You sicko!" Akane screamed from the bushes, "Have you no respect for feminine modesty! She's unconscious you pervert!" But at least they now know Kuno's weakness (since watermelons were no longer an option)…

By now, Ranma was awake and yelling toward the stalker-filled bushes, "Why did you that! Knocking him out like that! I have to find his one weakness!" Grabbing Kuno, Ranma ran off inland.

Akane stared mutely at Ranma from her spot in disbelief, Can she really be that stupid, Akane considered the thought, after all, she just did what Ranma wanted do – knock Kuno out.

Nabiki answered Akane's silent question, "Yes, she can be that stupid, it is Ranma, after all. She may be pretty, but she is still dumb as a brick. But we must follow them all the more now."

Akane scoffed, "Why? That stupid jerk doesn't need my help; I should be in school by now."

"Do I have to draw you a picture?" Nabiki said dryly.

"No."

Nabiki, pulling out a notebook and a pen, drew one anyway (having been drawing up suggestive pictures of the entire family for money for quite some time now, Nabiki was an excellent artist).

Akane grabbed the notebook roughly and studied it, "…What…why…" She was momentarily speechless, "Is that…How can…why would there be tentacles?"

"Don't sweat the details, let's catch up with them!" Nabiki picked up her tripod and camera and the stalkers left.

Space Here

"There they are!" Nabiki pointed toward the two-story American coffee shop across the street, "In that Starbucks!"

The two crossed the street and stepped into the shop. Immediately, the aroma of fresh coffee bean and newly baked pastries filled their nostrils. Though it was still early in the morning and most shop-keepers are still tossing about in their beds and fingering the coins and bills tucked under their pillows, the power of American capitalism and caffeine just can't be stopped. Businessmen in fine suits milled about the place, as orders of frappuccinos to espressos and the clattering of change sounded about the room. Despite the dim lighting and soothing music, the roiling chaos and frenzy of dozens of rushing white-collared folk to get to work on time seemed to overtake Nabiki.

Ranma and Kuno, however, sat toward a rather dark corner in the already dim shop. There, no businessman or impatient waiter danced about, no noise or pushing distracted the two, it was almost as if they were there alone. And judging by the look on Kuno's face, they may as well be the only two people alive (which unfortunately also meant they were the only two people left to recreate the human population).

Nabiki and Akane sat down at a table in another corner.

"Why are we sitting here?" Akane asked, "Can you hear them from here?"

"No," Nabiki shook her head, "But, I wired Ranma when she was sleeping," she pulled out a large radio-like contraption and began tuning, "One sec."

Akane looked dubious, "you wired Ranma!"

"Of course, this stuff sells great all over the net," Nabiki said, matter-of-factly.

"The net?" It was, after all, 1996.

"The Internet, it's a new invention, and I'm fairly sure it has a future." Nabiki continued to twist some knobs and push some buttons on the radio-like thing, "A few months ago, I created this website and named it Google, and I hope it becomes popular! Oh, here we go" Nabiki's apparently hit the right buttons at last and Kuno's voice came on.

"Does your chest still hurt my dearest Pigtailed Goddess?" Looking over, Akane saw Kuno's hand reach across Ranma's chest, seemingly ready to latch onto one of Ranma's breasts, "Let me see."

Ranma quickly pushed him away, her digitized voice sounded through the speakers as she pointed toward an arbitrary direction, "Look! That girl's naked!"

Kuno fell for the ploy, "Where!"

Immediately, Ranma's hand shot into her pocket and pulled out a small gray pouch, and before Kuno could turn back around, she had poured the powdery contents into Kuno's latte (which was lidless to allow the hot drink to cool).

Nabiki gasped, "The weak-will powdered! If taken, Ranma will be able to command Kuno with ease!"

By the time Kuno turned back, Ranma's face was aglow with a smile of girlish innocence so ridiculously overdone that Akane blanched in pain at the obvious falsity – no one would be stupid enough to believe anyone with such a look on their face could be innocent.

No one, that is, except Kuno. Seeing the girl look at him with what he no doubt confused for charm and love, he seized Ranma in a tight bear hug, pressing the small girl to his body. With the overused moved-to-tears look commonly represented as TT (except moved, not emo) on his face, Kuno emoted, "But what other girl (except Akane) can hold such a place in my heart as you, my Pigtailed Goddess. Let me take you from this dreary place to upstairs where we may throw off these clothe and love…" Kuno paused for some reason unknown to Akane, "What's that? You can't breathe? Forgive my roughness; it is but a part of being a man." Kuno pulled back slightly.

In a most un-Ramna fashion, Ranma grabbed her cup of coffee from the table, and timidly said, "Then let us drink to our love…my…" Ranma paused, fumbling over the dirty and vile words she, no doubt, would utter. Even from across the room, Akane could discern the glint of absolute disgust in Ranma's eyes as she said, "…my big strong manly Kuno."

"Anything for you, my love." Kuno raised his cup to his lips, he failed to notice the smirk on Ranma's face as she drank her coffee. And unfortunately for Ranma, she also failed to notice the smirk on Kuno's face as he drank his…

Akane too was clueless, but Nabiki gasped and pointed toward the corner of Kuno's table, "Look, the empty red pouch on the floor…Kuno must've dumped it into Ranma's drink! That Kuno is sneakier than he lets on, that little sicko pervert!" Nabiki conveniently ignored the fact that it was she who sold the two their colored pouches containing the questionable drugs.

"Why? What's in the red pouch?" Akane asked.

Nabiki seemed slightly worried, "Aphrodisiacs, the strongest type allowed by the Geneva Convention. There was enough in that pouch to turn a school full of nuns into a whorehouse…" She smirked, "Now all of it is in Ranma!"

Author's Note: Gee…I wonder what will happen in the next chapter…Sorry for the late update, I was hauled off to Italy (virtually in a crate) without warning, and so I was unable to work on this for quite some time.