TITLE: Deja Vu
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY/ORIENTATION: Alternative universe – what would have happened if the black cat HADN'T deja-vu-ed itself? A completely different course of events… But will it lead to the same result as the movie? Back in Zion now, Neo is falling for Trinity… but what is she planning?
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well guys, this is it – the final chapter! Thanks to everyone who has read this all the way through, and particularly to those who have reviewed loyally – it means a lot to me, so thanks zillions for your encouragement.
Now that this project is over, I am going to be spending more time focusing on my other fanfiction, The Best Homework Excuse Ever, co-written with Lady Delerith. Because I need more to do, I'll start uploading another prewritten AU Matrix fic of mine. It's called In The Walls and the first chapter should be up by the end of January. This one is also alternative universe (I have a distinct attachment to AUs) and is about what would have happened if, when Morpheus gave Trinity the order to go and escape from the bathroom with the others, she disobeyed and went back for him, preventing his capture but getting apprehended in his place. I don't think it's as good as this one (I'm quite proud of Deja Vu) but I'll let my readers be the judge of that.
Because I enjoy having too much stuff to write over the holidays, I'm curious to know if there's anyone else out there who would be interested in co-writing a Matrix fanfiction with me. I really enjoy the project Lady Delerith and I have been working on for the last couple of years, and I feel that it gives the stories a little more depth when there's more than one author pouring in their talents. If you're interested, say so in a review, and I'll contact you, or email me from my profile page.
Chapter ten – Conclusions
The next morning, Neo finally decided what he had to do. He had to tell her. He had spent the morning and most of last night trying to sort out his feelings. Now he knew what they were, but he wasn't happy with the result.
There could be no doubt about his emotions when it came to Trinity: his body wanted her, his mind needed her, and his soul loved her. He had already known that he loved her – she was like his sister, right? – but he hadn't known to what extent. Now suddenly she was like a drug he needed. He had to be close to her to feel… well, anything.
And the question he kept asking himself was, 'what had sparked it?' Why was it that all of a sudden Neo felt like this? Why did he suddenly want his best friend? What was he going to say to her? 'Oh, hi, Trinity, I've suddenly realised that I've come to rely on your occasional stage kisses for my daily buzz'?
Shit, he was in trouble. He wandered slowly towards her place, but she wasn't there, so he started searching Zion. After a few hours of useless hunting, he went home.
He groaned upon spotting Waterlily outside his door. The last person he needed to see right now. She saw him walking over and broke into one of her beaming smiles.
"Neo!" she exclaimed. God, why hadn't Neo noticed before how loud she was? Why couldn't all women be as quiet and intense as Trinity?
And why was Neo automatically making excuses to think of her?
"Hi," he answered, letting himself into his apartment ahead of her. "Nice day?"
"I was so worried I'd missed you," Waterlily said, ignoring his question. "When I found out you were all leaving today, I was so shocked! I mean, you hadn't even told me you were going."
"I-"
"I know, you were probably out looking for me," she said loudly, smiling again. She smiled too much. Not like Trinity, who only smiled sparingly. It made every rare smile that much more special.
Trinity invades his thoughts again.
"What are you-"
"Well, I'm here now, and all I can say is, I'll miss you, you know. And you'd better be careful. That's a dangerous job you've got there. Is it really the job for you? I'm just amazed they gave that woman captaincy. She's completely inexperienced – you can tell from the way she brags. I don't think very much of her – you should be careful. I don't want you coming back all battered and hurt because of her bad captainship. Okay?"
"Where am I going? My captain is dead, remember?" Neo said, frowning. What the hell was Waterlily on about now?
"Today. You're leaving. Remember?" the Zion woman said clearly.
"No. I'm not going anywhere."
"But… But the Nebuchadnezzar is leaving today," Waterlily said, a little less confident in her information.
"No, it isn't," Neo assured her. "I don't think the councillors have even decided what to do with the ship yet."
"What are you talking about? They arranged for your hovercraft to leave this afternoon, like, two days ago. The craft and the crew are leaving today."
"What are you talking about?" Neo demanded. "Who's got control over the ship?"
"She hasn't told you," Waterlily realised suddenly.
"Who hasn't told me what?"
"She didn't tell you she was leaving. I got the impression she at least thought enough of you to let you know when she was going." Waterlily shook her head sadly. "I knew she was a bitch the minute I met her here. That's so sad – you seem really close to her, too."
"Would you please explain to me what's going on?" Neo asked, getting annoyed.
"Don't worry," she answered a moment later, turning to face him, smiling. "At least now you don't have to go anywhere. I'm so glad." She moved close, too close to him. Were she Trinity, Neo would be currently trying his best not to kiss her.
Waterlily was talking about Trinity.
She reached up and touched his mouth with one finger. She straightened and leaned in for her kiss. Neo willed himself to stay still – she was an attractive woman and he had to see if he'd fall for her like he had Trinity. But at the last moment he turned his face away, and Waterlily only kissed the side of his mouth instead of full on the lips. Her closed brown eyes flashed open in surprise.
"What happened?" she asked, pulling her face back but not moving away.
"You're nice, but you don't want me," Neo assured her.
"Yes, I do."
"No, you want someone who can kiss you without thinking of someone else." Neo took a step back. "I know you can't like the thought that I'm not thinking of you."
"Well, you're right about that," Waterlily said haughtily. "Who are you so obsessed with, then? Even if you aren't remotely interested in me, I'm still your friend. It's her, isn't it? Tell me-"
Neo was spared listening to her rant by a sharp knock on the door. He opened it quickly. All of his searching had been for nothing – Trinity had found him.
"Good afternoon," he said, relieved. He forgot about Waterlily's weird talk about the ship leaving and smiled at her.
"Hello," she answered. Waterlily, standing in front of Neo, turned on her heel and approached Trinity with a raised hand.
"I can't believe you'd just leave him here!" she snapped, releasing her open hand to slap her 'competition' across the cheek. But Trinity, with her super-fast reflexes, caught her by the wrist. Neo doubted if even he could have been quick enough to avoid her catching him.
Like usual, Trinity's expressionless mask never slipped. She didn't say anything, but rolled her eyes and shoved the other woman aside, releasing her. She still didn't come inside.
"Neo, we need to talk," she said. Waterlily turned furiously.
"You didn't even tell him anything!" she accused. "He has no idea."
"What do you think I'm here for?" Trinity asked coldly. "I think maybe you should go."
"Excuse me?" Waterlily wasn't happy with that, either. She turned to Neo for support. So did Trinity.
"Maybe she's right," he said quietly. Silently fuming, Waterlily pushed past both of them and left, muttering darkly to herself. Neo walked up to the doorframe and leaned past his friend/interest, watching the Zion-born woman leave the hall.
He looked back at Trinity.
"You want to come in?"
"No. Thanks. I need to talk to you, though," she said. "Do you have time?"
"Always have time here," Neo said. "What's on your mind?"
If something was bothering her he wanted to be the one to fix it.
"I think you might know part of the story now from your little friend," she said dryly.
Waterlily had said all of that stuff about the Nebuchadnezzar leaving Zion.
"This is about the ship, isn't it?" He waited while she nodded slowly. "What's this about it leaving?"
"I haven't been entirely honest with you, Neo," Trinity said, "and for that, I'm sorry. The councillors cleared me of all charges laid against me and granted me captaincy of the Neb."
"That's a good thing," Neo said, leaning on the doorframe.
"I guess it is," she agreed. "Last night when you and Mouse came over I was on the computer, remember? I was filling out the forms about how many I'd be taking and things like that. The councillors didn't give me much time to make up my mind – they made their decision three days ago and told me to be ready to leave with my crew by today."
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Neo asked, turning back into the apartment. "I have to pack."
"No, don't." Trinity reached out and grabbed his arm. "Hear me out." When Neo nodded and turned to face her again, she continued. "I should have told you days ago, and I feel like crap for leaving you hanging like this. But you're too inexperienced to stay on board."
"So you're going? Just like that? You're just going to leave me here alone? Why?" Neo tried his best not to sound demanding.
"I'll get to why in a moment," she said. She dragged her gaze away from his eyes and studied the floor at their feet. "I'm so sorry. I don't have a lot of time. The dock guards weren't very happy with me when I said that I had to go and say goodbye to someone right now. I left Mouse in charge of finishing up."
"Wait a sec – Mouse? Mouse is going, too? Hey, if I'm inexperienced, what is he? So suddenly I'm of no importance and he's overly experienced?"
"No, Neo, I didn't say that," Trinity said. "You're reading between the lines. I never said Mouse was experienced in this line of work, and I never said you weren't important. What ever made you think you didn't matter to me?"
Neo didn't answer. It was true – she hadn't said that. But still.
"I must have missed something, Trinity," he said. "I thought that a month ago you and I risked our lives for our captain. Together. I guess I figured that since I saved your ass so many times that day there would be some sort of lasting bond. But maybe not."
"Neo, don't make me out to be a complete bitch. Don't make this harder for me."
"When are you leaving?" he asked finally. She looked around.
"Now, more or less. I have to be gone within half an hour." She met his eyes and forced a sad smile. He hated that look in her eyes. Trinity was really sad. She was truly upset about this, not acting or anything. "I hate goodbyes."
"Then why are you here?" Neo asked, examining the doorframe and running one finger along the grooves. "You could have asked a dock guard to come and tell me, and you might never have needed to come and find me. You could have been gone by now if you hadn't come here, and I would never have known until the guard came and told me. You could have avoided this whole awkward conversation. Why aren't you gone already?"
"I had to tell you myself," Trinity answered, a certain degree of hurt in her voice. For her, the very notion that he didn't expect her to have the decency to say something to his face was deeply offensive. She did have the guts to come here in the first place – that was something. The young woman he was so attracted to lately might have been leaving him without much warning but she was still the same, overly decent person. She held his gaze and frowned, offended.
"I know," Neo said, forcing himself to soften. "Will you tell me why, now?"
"I'm leaving with the Nebuchadnezzar and my crew in half an hour." Trinity looked down again. "The council wanted me to have a crew of about seven, but I only filed for five, including myself and Mouse. There are three new recruits. I wanted three – but at first I wanted one of them to be you. And don't do that," she added, taking his wrist in her hand and gently pulling it away from the doorframe.
"Why?" Neo asked. She released his hand.
"It reminds me of Cypher," she answered. "Anyway, I decided that it wouldn't be fair to ask you along. You'd feel too obligated to Morpheus, and I wasn't about to force anyone, least of all you, into anything you didn't really want to do. Then you said that you really liked Zion and wanted to stay so that kind of sealed my decision."
"Stop," Neo said, holding her gaze firmly. His heart gave a jolt of misery at the mention of Morpheus. It was hard to accept that he was dead. "Stop that. Now who's reading between the lines? I never said I wanted to stay. Never. I said I could get used to it. But I couldn't live here without any friends, Trinity."
"You make friends better than anyone I know," Trinity said, shaking her head. "Besides, you have your leech friend, Tigerlily or whatever. She made it pretty clear to me that she wanted me out of your life."
"What are you talking about? I'll be lucky if she ever comes back after the way we've treated her between us." When Trinity looked confused, Neo added, "I let her know I wasn't interested. She wasn't pleased."
"She didn't look it, either," Trinity agreed. She looked down again. "I'm really sorry I didn't say anything earlier. But I didn't want to give you time to try and dissuade me. I'm sorry, Neo. Really, I am. I really hate myself right now. Although, I was expecting an explosion on your behalf. I expected you to go off at me – hit me. But this is worse." She took a deep breath. "I guess I'll go, then."
"Bye," Neo answered in a flat tone. She swallowed.
"Bye," she repeated. She turned to go.
"Wait, one more thing," Neo said, stopping her. No way was he going to tell her what she meant to him, not now. It wouldn't matter much now, anyway. But he could still draw on a quick favour. "When we were in the Matrix last month. I said I could see your thoughts."
"I remember," Trinity answered, straightening a little.
"I could see that you were in love. After I noticed I ignored it – it isn't my business. So I didn't find out who it was that you love." He searched her eyes, looking for answers. "Tell me: Are you leaving me here so that I'll never find out? If I don't go back into the Matrix with you I can never know. Is that it?"
"Who do you think it is, anyway, that I'd be so desperate to hide from you?" Trinity asked.
Neo hadn't really considered this, but took a wild, unlikely guess. "Mouse?"
"No," she said, breaking eye contact and watching the floor. "I'm leaving you here because a good captain shouldn't spend half of her time thinking about one of her crewmembers."
There was a moment of dead silence in which Neo stared at her, and Trinity went rigid and looked up at him in horror. While Neo allowed this thought to zap through his head, she spun on her heel and bolted. But she didn't get far. He realised quite suddenly the meaning of her words and his fast reflexes let him reach out and catch her by the waist. Before she could react, he turned her around and pinned her to the stone wall between his door and his neighbour's.
She breathed heavily through her mouth as she tried to even out the thudding of her heart.
"What did you say?" Neo asked her. He ignored the fact that he was pressed against her and stared at her. Trinity looked deeply surprised that she had been caught.
"Let me go," she said uncertainly. She was never uncertain.
"That isn't what you said."
"I'm telling you to let go of me," she said. She took a deeper breath. "I'm ordering you to."
"You aren't my superior officer any more," Neo said, letting his eyes flicker over her face. Hell, she was beautiful.
"Fine. You're hired. Now you're under my command again. Step away and let go, then I'll fire you."
"Are you going to have me arrested?" Neo knew she wouldn't.
"No."
"Why would you be thinking of one of your crewmembers if I came along?" Neo asked.
"Read between the lines," Trinity said, annoyed. "What do you think I'm implying? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to leave Zion so that I can avoid you for the rest of my life."
She loved him. Trinity loved Neo. God, was it possible? Was it possible that the woman he cared for so much could love him? The very thought made Neo fall for her further. He had missed the warnings…
How could he have missed so many signs that she liked him?
"So what you told Cypher – you weren't acting?"
"No, I wasn't. I'm not that great of an actor," she said quietly. She did love Neo, then. Why had he ignored that escapade? Like she would have willingly kissed someone she didn't have feelings for…
"Trinity, I spent my entire morning looking for you," he told her.
"I was at the docks, trying to decide how to tell you I was going."
"I had to find you because I wanted to tell you something I figured out last night," Neo said clearly but in a low voice. "I had to say that I care about you. You can't go. I need you." Pause. "I love you."
"I don't believe you," Trinity murmured stubbornly. But after a few seconds, her eyes showed that she did. She couldn't believe him, but she wanted to. She had to.
Neo took one hand away from her waist and touched her cheek affectionately. He leaned forward for a quick peck on the lips. When he pulled away a second later, he paused a millimetre away from her lips.
"Now do you believe me?" he whispered against her mouth. She leaned back as far as she could, which wasn't far because she was pressed against a wall, and met his eyes.
"I don't know. Sometimes I think I know you. Sometimes the only thing I know is that you're Neo. The One."
"Sometimes I'm not certain of that," Neo admitted.
"Oh, I am," Trinity said. She ran one hand up his arm to his shoulder, where it stayed. "I know you are. The Oracle told me that Morpheus would free a man from the Matrix and I would fall in love. She said that the man I loved would be the One. That's how I know."
"I love you. I'm going to miss you like crazy," Neo said, stroking her cheek.
"Why bother? I can easily get you a place on the ship," Trinity whispered, her pulse speeding up again with anticipation. "I made up those excuses. I just realised that I can't leave you behind."
"Tell me you love me," Neo murmured against her skin, his mouth millimetres from her cheek. She shivered.
"I have. Multiple times."
"Not in those words."
"Yes, I have. When you died I told you that you couldn't be dead because I love you," Trinity said in a low voice loaded with excitement.
"Tell me again. You know I get my daily high from this, don't you?" Neo smiled.
Trinity laughed.
She went silent and stared at him. Neo leaned his face away to meet her eyes. She had the prettiest eyes.
"Oh my God, I love you!" she cried hurriedly, wrapping one hand around his neck before he kissed her. She kept herself as close as she could, kissing him back passionately. Neo pulled her closer, his hand tight on her waist. A week ago, he wouldn't have even considered making out with Trinity in full view of anyone who cared to walk down to this level.
But now he couldn't care less. As long as he could be this close to her he was okay.
-
Those stupid dock security men had sent Mouse looking for Trinity. One of the new recruits had backed out of the deal, which meant that they would have to find someone to take his place really fast.
Mirage and Lazuli were still on, at least, but the other one had decided at the last moment that his peaceful life here in Zion was too important to give up on.
Mouse headed directly for Neo's apartment. That's where Trinity had been headed herself. That was sure to be where she had stayed overtime. Maybe Neo had gone off at her for not explaining earlier. For days, Mouse had been begging Trinity to tell Neo about the journey, but she hadn't.
The elevator stopped at Neo's level and Mouse got out. He wandered slowly, taking in the last of Zion he would see for a while.
He spotted Trinity and Neo out of the corner of his eye and figured they were hugging each other goodbye. But Mouse stopped dead when he turned his complete gaze upon them.
Ha – he'd known for ages now that they were perfect for each other, but it had taken them a while to figure it out themselves. Finally. They were in the middle of a make-out session Mouse wasn't about to interrupt.
Trinity, whom he was looking for, was pressed between Neo and the wall, but for once, helplessness wasn't an issue she was going to protest against. She looked too busy kissing Neo, and he her, to notice or care.
It looked like they'd found their last-minute recruit.
THE END
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