Author: Carth's Lost Padawan
Summary: Atton reads a poem that Mical writes for Exile.
Somewhere in the distance a bird sang and a child laughed.
Fish swam and the breeze rustled the green of the trees.
There was motion, activity… chaos and strife.
But not here. Not where I stand.
No, here there is only her. As far as my eyes can see.
This land, though native to me, seems so strange.
And the world shall sing beneath her feet.
"Somewhere in the distance a bird sang and a child laughed?" Atton paused for a moment, looking out of the cockpit and down the hall to see if there was anyone near, besides the young woman who was standing next to him. "Mical is such a poofter!" Looking to his female companion he added. "Oh come on! What kinda chick-loving-guy actually thinks those kinda things?"
"He's sensitive! Why, what should a 'chick-loving-guy' think about? Pazaak?" Her comment wasn't really intended to be harsh, but more like a means to get the point across.
"Hey! I didn't really mean anything by it… it's just; he shouldn't have to use fancy words just to show how much you mean to him. You're worth more, Lyrica… more than just a couple of pretty words." Atton leaned in, his face just inches above hers. He was so close to her that she could feel his warm breath caressing her silk skin.
"Oh, but stolen Pazaak bets to buy her a personalized datapad? Yes, because 30 Republic Credits are surely more than enough to show how much she's worth…" An irritated voice laced with an aristocratic accent said from the entryway. Immediately putting distance between each other, Lyrica turned a fairly bright shade of pink and made a somewhat strained squeaking noise. Atton, however, was between her and the man within seconds seething and was attempting to grab the datapad.
"That is none of your business, Mical, and if you would spend more time talking to her than you do stalking her, then you might know that she enjoys keeping a journal and needed a new datapad before her current one ran out." Atton finally grabbed the datapad, holding it with a clenched fist as he got in Mical's face.
Mical looked for a moment as if he would pull out his lightsaber and slay him that very moment, but then he began to speak with a forced calm, "There is no passion, there is only peace." It was the Jedi Code, and Lyrica could tell it was the rather small thread holding him back. That, and perhaps the fact that she was so nearby.
"That's right, fall into the Jedi Code every time you feel the urge to be a man. You let them neuter you, Mical… must be where you learned to write such pretty words." Atton jeered. Lyrica though she saw a vein in Mical's head pop and had just a split second to act before he drew his lightsaber. With two rhythmic moves of her hands, she managed to disarm both men (Atton had managed to draw his blaster pistols by now as well) and was now using sheer Force ability to hold them both about 3 inches in the air and completely away from each other.
"That is enough!" She seethed, her shoulders heaving. There was an electric blue lightning literally flashing in her eyes. Both men lost their intensity at the sight, it being one they'd never seen before in the morely silent woman. "I've got an entire Sith armada on my ass, a galaxy to save, and I've been thrown straight back into a connection with a Force that I'd worked so hard to keep away once I lost it on Malachor. And, now I have my two best friends constantly at each other's throats at my expense! I can't take it!"
She released them both suddenly, purposely dropping them to the ground hard. Before they could protest as she made her way out, she turned to them with tears in her eyes. "And don't bother coming after me with your fake apologies! I don't want them!" And with that said, she fled from the cockpit.
"I don't know what to tell you, General. Many of the men in the fleets would fight over you during the Mandalorian Wars. Some even broke out into drunken blaster fights that ended in casualties." Bao-Dur remembered as a sniffling Lyrica sat atop the Workbench. Remote buzzed solemnly around the room, his artificial intelligence telling him that it be best to keep distance and not disturb the two friends and former war-buddies.
"I never asked for this, Bao-Dur. I mean, I'm glad that I have gotten to see you again and that I have a chance at redemption for all the deaths I caused at Malachor V, but…" Lyrica stopped for a moment, turning her head from the inquisitive gaze of her Iridonian pal.
"You weren't ready to be thrown back into the real world yet?" He finished for her. She slowly nodded a solemn agreement, before feeling the sensation of her eyes being filled with that salty liquid once more. Turning to him, he now saw that deep pain that now burned deep within her, and for a moment it was as if he could feel it as well.
"When I watched the shadow-field generator crush every living thing on that planet, I felt each and every one of them as they died. I felt their pain, I heard their cries, and I watched as the light inside them extinguished. And then there was nothing." Lyrica hopped off from the workbench and moved away from Bao-Dur towards the middle of the room. "There was no more suffering, no more screams… but oddly enough while the chaos had stopped, I wasn't at piece. It was as if I had gone completely deaf and blind simultaneously. There was nothing left and I was merely just existing."
Atton turned to Mical as they listened just outside the door of the garage area on the Ebon Hawk; neither of them having understood truly what Lyrica had gone though. They stayed silent though, and waited to hear more.
"If you don't mind me asking, General… You disappeared for a while after the war; where did you go?" Bao-Dur's voice was soft, holding the normal calm mellow that the Iridonian normally possessed. Yet now, there was compassion and feeling; a sort of relating there that made it seem as if they had a Force-like bond of understanding.
"I went back to face trial with the Council on Coruscant. I tried every way I could to make them understand why I didn't believe I was wrong in going. How while millions had died, millions more would have followed had I not followed Revan. But, they wouldn't hear it. Or maybe they just didn't want to. They turned me away and they took my lightsaber.
"So I lived the life of an Exile on the Outer Rim, doing this and that… fighting battles. But, still… it was as if those thousands that died on Malachor V lived inside me and took turns tearing my insides up. I couldn't take being able to hear their screams… I couldn't listen them placing all the blame on me. I knew I deserved it, but I didn't want to. So I saw an old healer about a cure. I took injections of a high-grade anesthetic to take away the nightmares and such." She hadn't told anyone this before. She hadn't even relayed the details to Kreia, who she oddly trusted with everything.
"I continued the injections even with that Republic ship picked me up. But then something happened, woke up in Peragus…and then here I am with a renewed connection to the Force and a brand new agenda to save the Galaxy as well as try to keep the Republic from falling. Don't get me wrong, please… I mean, without you, Atton, Mical, Kreia, and T3… I wouldn't be anywhere. In fact, I'd probably be dead. But I can't take the constant fighting between everyone, especially Atton and Mical."
"You love him, don't you General?" Bao-Dur finally spoke, his eyes full of knowing. She turned to him and nodded.
"With all my heart. But Jedi aren't allowed to love. It may not be in the code, but it's there in the fine print. We do not allow passion for fear that attachments would cause such obsessive thoughts that it could eventually lead to the Dark Side. But, love… it's much more dangerous. While love can ultimately be your strongest tie to the light, it can also attract those in the dark. The ones you love become the greatest targets. He's said it himself. The best way to kill a Jedi is to kill all those around them and watch them fall. I can let that happen to him."
Out in the hallway, Mical looked back at Atton who had a somewhat bewildered look on his face. He'd been there during the heated conversation between Atton and Lyrica while they were on Telos. Lyrica had innocently wondered of her companion's secrecy and he confessed everything in one great spill of feelings. He told her of how he'd fought along side her in the war, how he later followed Revan to conquer the Republic that he'd just defended, and how while he followed Revan he took up the hobby of killing Jedi. He had nearly cried as he spoke, and Mical found it best to give them their time alone to talk. But… he had heard him say those words. Lyrica loved Atton.
Bao-Dur watched his former General with a knowing smile. "You should tell him. Explain to Atton that you love him and tell Disciple why you do not share his affections." Lyrica sighed heavily.
"I feel for Mical… I truly do… but the feelings run no deeper than Padawan and Master. There is a love there, but a love that was formed from a need to protect him. Atton, though… he's different…" Atton and Mical felt it be that this would be the best time for them to make their appearance.
"I understand, Lyrica." Mical said with a bow. "I will willingly step back from courting you and allow for you and Atton to carry on peacefully. I harbor no coal towards either of you." There were tears in his eyes as he turned and Atton just stood there.
She didn't know whether to be angry at them for listening or relieved that she wouldn't have to do this at some later and more awkward moment. And now, she half expected for Atton to have some smart aleck response revolving around Pazaak and Mical, but he didn't. He merely just approached her slowly and embraced her and a strong hug. "I love you too, Lyrica." Remote hovered happily around them as they engaged in a kiss.