John turned over on the couch restlessly. Natalie had gone to bed a couple of hours ago. He had stayed up for a long while, just thinking. Turning over again he knew he wasn't going to get much sleep tonight.

Natalie's scream tore John out of the restless sleep he had been in. He was up, grabbing his gun and running into the bedroom before her scream had died away. He burst in the door looking for intruders. What he saw was Natalie writhing on the bed obviously in the grips of a nightmare.

Natalie thrashed on the bed trying to get away from the hands that were causing her pain. "No stop! Cris Please. Don't." she pleaded in her sleep.

John sat down gently on the bed and put a hand on her shoulder lightly. "Natalie." He whispered. When she didn't wake up he shook her gently and spoke a bit more loudly, "Natalie!"

Natalie jerked awake with a startled yelp. Feeling John's hand on her she screamed and jerked her self away violently. "No, leave me alone!" she yelled out.

"Natalie it's me, John. You were having a nightmare. You're ok now." John said trying to calm her down.

Natalie looked around in fear, then sighed. It had been a dream. Cris wasn't here. Not looking at John she said, "I'm ok now you can go. I'll be alright."

John nodded and got off the bed, "you know, it helps if you talk about it." When she didn't say anything John started to leave.

Natalie was just trying to hold her self together. She hated crying and didn't want to do that in front of John. It was so hard. He was being so nice, so understanding. "John," she blurted out as he reached the door, "will you stay with me?" She asked emotionally.

John was startled but he nodded and came back to the chair next to the bed. He started to sit down when Natalie said "No, here" patting the empty spot on the bed. "Can you just hold me? Please?"

John nodded and got under the covers next to her. This was going to be torture the thought to himself. To be that close and not touch her, not kiss her. He sighed when she snuggled into his arms her back to his chest. Closing his eyes he wrapped his arms around her gently.

John was almost asleep when Natalie spoke, "John?"

"Yeah?" John said softly.

"I'm sorry." Natalie said just as softly.

"For what?" John asked mystified.

"For being such a bother." Natalie replied. She felt terrible for causing John so much trouble. His arms felt so good around her and Natalie snuggled deeper into his embrace.

"You could never be a bother, Natalie. I care about you a lot. Don't you know that by now." John said shocked that she would think that she was bothering him.

Natalie nodded, she did know that John cared for her. It frightened her because she was beginning to care about him as a lot more then a friend. "I know John. Its just that.. that.. well.." Natalie stammered unsure what to say.

"Its ok Natalie. Do you want to talk about the dream?" John asked gently, knowing instinctively that she wanted to talk about it but didn't know how to bring it up.

"It wasn't so much a dream as it was a memory." Natalie started. Once she started it just came pouring out. All the emotions she had felt came out in her voice. She told him about Cris, their marriage and how everyone had thought he died in Vegas. She told him about how she had done stupid things and had almost been arrested for Paul Cramers murder but Jess and Rex had worked together and found the real killer.

When she got to how Cris came back her voice wavered. "He just showed up on the door step." Natalie said, "I was so happy. My husband was alive and well. I knew it wouldn't be the same as it was before but I never dreamed it would be so different..." Natalie trailed off and was silent for a moment.

John had been silent through the whole story but when it looked like she wasn't going to continue he said, "different how?" He knew she needed to get the rest of it out. It would make her feel better.

"He wasn't the same sweet gentle man that he was before. He yelled and threw things. He told me that he had survived and had come home for me. That he didn't need anyone else but me. I loved that he thought I was all he needed but I also wanted him to get help. He wouldn't see anyone about all he had been through. When I pressed him on it he just said he didn't want to talk about it. Eventually we moved out of my Mom's house and found an apartment. That's when he hit me for the first time." Natalie said.

As Natalie continued, telling John how she startled Cris and he had slapped her and hit her, John felt himself getting angrier and angrier. He hated that Natalie had to go through so much. If Cris had been in the room at that moment John knew he would have killed him. With that thought ringing in his mind John realized that he was in love with Natalie. That he had probably been in love with her since the day they met. He wanted to tell her but he knew she was no where near ready to hear that. He wasn't even sure he was ready to tell her.

As Natalie neared the end of her story, telling John how Cris had found her and how he had beat her up and how she got away while he had been asleep, she felt exhausted. She was emotionally drained. She fell silent trembling with fear and shame. She had failed her husband. He had loved her and trusted her to help him and she hadn't been able to.

When Natalie finished John just held her, not saying a word. Finally when she stopped trembling John said, "I'm sorry you had to go through all that. It will be ok. He isn't ever going to hurt you again."

Natalie turned around in Johns arms and looked up at him. "You don't understand John. I failed him. It's my fault that he is like that. If I had been a better wife, if I had been more patient he would be ok now." Natalie said sadly.

"Natalie," John said gently. "Its not your fault. Cris knew he had a problem. Instead of getting help he blamed everything on you. You aren't a psychiatrist. You aren't equipped to deal with those kinds of problems. Cris knew that yet expected you to. It wasn't fair to put those kinds of expectations on you. Don't you see that?"

"But.." Natalie started.

"No, Listen to me Natalie." John interrupted her. "Cris had a choice. He could have gone to counseling but he didn't. Even after he hit you he didn't. That's his fault not yours. A man who loves you doesn't hit you. He doesn't blame you for everything. A man who loves you protects you. If Cris really loved you he would have gotten the help he needed instead of expecting you to fix everything." John stated passionately.

Natalie just looked at John not saying anything. A few tears had leaked from her eyes during John's speech. "Thank you John." Natalie said softly.

John turned Natalie back around and held her close. "Any time," he whispered in her ear. John held her close until she fell into a deep sleep, then fell asleep himself with a smile on his face.