Disclaimer: Harry Potter is a possession of mine! Or at least the books are.

Man likes to eat

After a long train ride, pleasantly devoid of Malfoy's usual visit, the trio of friends were riding the thestral-drawn carriages to the school, laughing as Harry spoke of his narrow escapes from a driving permit empowered Dudley. As they stepped out of the cool night air and into the Entrance Hall, they saw a familiar stern-faced figure. "Mr. Potter, Ms. Granger, the headmaster would like to speak with the two of you after the feast. The password is "broccoli mints" heaven knows why. Also, Mr. Potter your quidditch rights to play have been reestablished."

The friends walked to the Gryffindor table in mild confusion. "Wonder what Dumbledore wants to talk to you for?" Ron said, envy apparent in his tone. "Oh, come on; get to the food already I need to eat. I'm gonna starve at this rate."

Hermione had to laugh at that. Ron was in no danger of starving, though he did eat like it. Probably a side effect of having five brothers. Ron groaned, clutching his stomach in dramatic agony while silently pleading for the sorting to happen already so they could eat, drink, and repeat steps one and two.

Dumbledore stood up and the hall fell silent, except for Ron who was lamenting his lack of food. "I feel it necessary to caution you. The unpleasant truth is that we are at war with a foe both powerful and implacable. Because of this, I must ask that all students refrain from venturing into the Forbidden Forest. I should also remind you that approximately one thousand five hundred and seventy-three items are forbidden at this school, this is almost three times the number of items banned last year. Our caretaker Argus Filch will be more than happy to give you the full list. Our Divinitation teacher Sybil Trewlaney has retired after predicting her death if she remains at this school. Professor Firenze will be taking over the entirety of the Divinitation class. Finally, it is my distinct pleasure to introduce to you our new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, Kingsley Shacklebolt. Now I realize that I am delaying the sorting and, by extension the feast (at this he glances at Ron, who was still massaging his stomach). There were just some things I had to say before the first years enter the room." Dumbledore sat down and McGonagall lead the first-years in.

Many of the first-years stared in open wonder as the hat began to sing.

You who are on the road

Must have a code that you can live by

And so, become yourself,

Because the past is just a good-bye

Teach your children well,

Their father's hell did slowly go by

And feed them on your dreams,

The one they picks, the one you'll know by

Don't you ever ask them why if they told you, you would cry,

So just look at them and sigh and know they love you

And you of tender years,

Can't know the fears that your elder grew by

And so please help them with your youth,

They seek the truth before they can die

Teach your parents well,

Their children's hell will slowly go by

And feed them on your dreams,

The one they picks, the one you can know by

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry?

So just, look at them and sigh, and know they love you…

The Slytherin and Gryffindor, they have a rivalry

Both Sly and bold must learn to try

To get along

Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, they stand by the side

Smart and loyal must do their best

To become the peacemakers.

After a few minutes the Sorting was done and the food appeared. Much to Ron's relief. A first year sat down next to Harry and asked "Is he doing some kind of magic to let him eat that fast?" Harry looked at Ron and replied "No, no magic to it. That's the way he eats." "Oh, I didn't think it was humanly possible to eat like that." "Well to tell you the truth," Seamus piped up, "We aren't entirely sure Ron is human." Ron glared over his dinner plate but didn't want to stop eating to comment. After they all had a good laugh they split up. Ron had to show the firsties to Gryffindor tower and the other two had to go see Dumbledore. They spoke the password to the gargoyle and went up the ascending staircase. Behind the door voices could be heard, one of them Snape's. Harry looked Hermione in the eye. His gaze saying "here we go again". Then he reached up and knocked on the door.

I like getting reviews. Good ones tell me you've read the story and like it. Constructive criticism tells me what I'm doing wrong. Flames let me light the cat on fire. What can I say? I'm an old school pyro  just kidding— or am I?