Author's Note: And the kitty gets her due.

Chapter Twelve: Heart

"Geez, where's the galley in this overgrown tub?" Katt grumbled. "You'd think a boat like this would have some decent grub around here. Wonder where they hide it, anyway?" She wandered through the ship aimlessly, listening to the swish-swish of the waves. The ship rocked back and forth, but the agile Woren navigated her path with ease. Still, the movement only reminded her of her hunger. Her stomach growled. Katt sighed.

Why'd Sten have to pig out and eat the rest of the rations?" Katt whined to herself. "He's such a goofy old man." She eventually wandered onto the deck and saw Ryu leaning against the rail, watching the water ebb and flow. He looked pensive and, for the first time in the weeks that she knew him, Katt saw something she would never have thought possible—Ryu looked…vulnerable.

He's so quiet, she thought, but not the serious kind of quiet. It's…it's a distracted quiet. That's not like him. Distracted isn't like him at all. She crept up behind him and when he did not notice her approach, she was certain that something was bothering him. Definitely not like him at all.

Then, suddenly, she sprang upon him, wrapping her arms around the ranger's neck in a tight embrace. "Hey you, why are you so spacey today?" she asked lightly, even as she practically strangled him. "Come on, answer me. Hee, hee. What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"

Ryu gagged until he regained his footing and shrugged her arms off. "You didn't need to do that," he gasped breathlessly. "A simple 'hello' would have sufficed."

Katt smiled at him innocently. "Where would the fun be in that? Come on, Ryu, play with me here. You're distracted, I choke you until you stop being distracted. Fun, huh?"

"You're one twisted lady."

She just smirked at him innocently. "Got your attention, didn't it?"

"It certainly did."

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, waiting for him to answer. He stayed silent, watching the ocean. "Well?" she asked finally. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," he replied absently. That earned him a bop on the head. He just sighed in resignation. "Please stop doing that."

"Not until you stop this mystery man attitude," Katt countered. "Talk to me, Ryu. Something's bugging you and I think I know what it is. It's Ray, right? You never talked about why you mouthed off to him yesterday. In fact, you barely look at any of us after that. What happened back there, anyway?"

The ranger lowered his head, eyes closed. "I honestly don't know, Katt. But when I saw him…I knew I hated him. I've never seen him before in my life, but…but I couldn't help feeling it."

The Woren raised herself up on the rail, watching him closely. His brow was creased in thought, his jaw set and hard; his teeth were gritted in frustration. Katt touched his shoulder sympathetically. "Maybe I'm not the best person to be saying this," she said, "but it seems to me that you never really had a good hold on your emotions. Right?"

Ryu looked at her, surprised and confused. "What brings you to that conclusion?"

"Simple. You're always so…how to say it? Self-controlled. You're not reckless, like me. Or cool-headed like Rand. Or uncertain and afraid like Nina is sometimes. And you don't joke around like Sten." She looked over her shoulder at the way the setting sun played upon the water like a faceted gem. "Sometimes, I wonder if you even have any emotions. You're always so…distant. Like you're not even really here, in the present, I mean. Maybe I'm just spouting psychobabble, but I get the impression you've never let yourself really feel anything. And seeing Ray, for whatever reason, brought down those barriers you have and let you feel."

Katt looked at him with a lopsided grin. "Do you think I'm just rambling?"

Ryu returned her look with one of gravity, maturity, and respect. "You may not be far off the mark," he murmured. "I really don't feel like I'm really here. And it's true I don't open up to others. I can't make myself, you know. I don't like to. Not even with Bow, my best friend."

"Well, it takes a lot of effort to open up," Katt said gently. "It means you make yourself, well, vulnerable in many ways. But it makes you stronger too, I think."

The ranger was silent, and if he had any opinion on the matter, he kept it to himself.

The Woren only smiled quietly. "I didn't think you'd say anything."

"Those are wise words," the ranger said quietly.

Katt chuckled. "Oh, come on, I'm not that clever. I'm just saying it how it is."

"The wisest are usually those who give meaning to simple matters," Ryu said.

They were quiet for a time, an awkward silence suffocating them. Suddenly, Ryu asked, "What do you think of Ray?"

"Him?" Katt tried to hide an instinctive blush, failing miserably. "Well…he's certainly handsome…and charismatic. And he seems real nice. I honestly wonder how anyone could hate him. Especially you, what with your calmness and all. I was really surprised—all of us were—when you said you hated him."

Ryu's emerald eyes narrowed as he stared out across the azure waters. "I don't trust him," he said simply. "But that isn't any cause for hatred. Still, I sense there's something more to all this than just a goody-two-shoes priest."

"Ryu…."

Suddenly, Katt's stomach grumbled. Loudly. The Woren blushed crimson. "Eh heh, heh…I'm a little hungry."

Ryu's smile looked like his old ones, before he met Ray. That comforted Katt. The ranger drew something out of a pocket and handed it to her. "This ship doesn't make long enough trips to have a galley," he said, "but I wouldn't want you to starve on the way."

Katt looked at the morsel in her hand. "Cookies? You can bake, too?" She looked at it warily, the memory of the last thing he made still fresh in her mind.

"My baking is better than my cooking," he assured her.

"So what job made you learn how to bake?" she asked, taking a large bite out of the cookie. It tasted very good. She purred in delight.

Ryu sighed and looked out into the ocean again. His thoughts tumbled back and back and back.

"So just make the batter like this, all right, Ryu?"

"This will be the best batch of cookies ever, okasan!"

"If you put your heart into it, yes."

"Yua will like them too, right?"

"If you make them, I'm sure Yua-chan will love them. You put your heart into it, right, Ryu?"

Ryu answered quietly, "Babysitting."

Katt returned below decks. Babysitting? Would never occur to me to let Ryu watch over a bunch of kids. I shouldn't leave him up there alone; he's still thinking about Ray. But he said he wanted some time alone…I'm not smart enough to help him except by letting him work it out alone. She ground her teeth at that. Not smart enough at all.

Another thought struck her, one that made her ground her teeth harder. Bet Nina could, though. Can't believe what happened back in the well. I mean, I'm glad she's okay…but…I guess now I really do have to think of her as a rival. Katt grinned sardonically. Well, I did say I didn't mind competition…guess I'm just going to have to eat my words.

Katt returned to her cabin pondering these thoughts. The party had rooms in the bottom decks—the cheapest that the people of Capitan were able to secure for them in return for their heroic services. Leaky, loud, watery, communal rooms.

"Ye'd think they'd show their gratitude a bit more," Sten grunted, ducking from under a leaky board. "Me fur's all wet."

"If you're going to complain about a little water, try moving around with a three-foot wingspan, then," Nina said. She was curled into a ball, leaning back against the hull of the ship. "I feel like I'm in a sardine can."

"Or a birdcage," Katt supplied.

"Welcome back, lass," Sten greeted. "Did ye find a galley?"

"Nah. I found Ryu instead." The Woren sent Nina the barest of glances; the Windian turned away, her face glowing. "Turns out he knows how to make cookies of all things."

"Think he can play the fiddle, too?" Sten joked.

"He's probably a one-man orchestra," Katt replied. She turned to the Windian. "Nina, could I speak with you for a minute?" Sten discreetly left to find something else to do.

"What is it?" Nina asked, standing as far as was able. Suddenly, came rushed up against her, slamming a hand against the wall next to her head. "What're you doing, Katt?"

"Time for a little friendly game between us girls, ne?" Katt said smoothly. "I know you're into Ryu, especially now that he's saved your butt and given you your first kiss, so here's the score—you and me, we're going to be rivals for his heart. No holds barred, as long as we remain friends—no point in losing a good buddy over something like this, right? But when it comes to the arena of love—that's where the fun begins and the sparks start to fly. Heh, heh."

Nina looked at her as if the Woren had grown a second head. "I-I don't think that's a good idea, Katt."

"I said I didn't mind competition, Nina," the Woren said seriously. "And if all you're going to do is daydream about one kiss—and it wasn't even a real kiss, at that—then you should just stop pining off after him. Unless you really want to explore your feelings for Ryu, stop right now."

"Why are you doing this?" Nina asked quietly.

"Because Ryu's my friend…maybe more. Maybe." Katt's eyes flashed with determination. "Ryu's got issues. I don't know what kind and I'm not clever enough to figure it out, but I know that unless you're serious about how you feel about him, then you're not going to help him sort through any of the crap he has to deal with inside. I want to help him. So I'm putting it all on the line. See, that's how I live life, Nina. I go all out. Are you going all out too, or not?"

Emerald eyes stared into azure ones; suddenly, Nina saw just how deeply Katt meant her impassioned words. She could not possibly answer without putting her heart into it. Her answer—if it were to honor the Woren's seriousness—had to be the truth of what she felt. Nina answered, "Yes."

Ryu continued to watch the ebb and flow of the ocean, and thought about how he shared so much with it. Directionless, always moving, always changing…but with no direction. I have no direction. Even helping Bow…after that…what happens after that, I wonder? All I have are memories that don't give me any answers.

His eyes narrowed. Ray…a man I hate. He gives me a question I can't answer: Why? And he knows the answer. I have to know it, too…it's somehow connected to my past, to Gate…to okasan and Yua. I have to know.

"Enjoying the sea breeze?" asked a melodic voice.

Ryu spun, eyes flashing with automatic anger. "Ray," he growled.

The cleric smiled softly. "Do you still hate me? Well, it seems that you do. I guess it can't be helped."

"What are you doing on this boat?" Ryu demanded warily.

Ray just continued smiling. "There are other incidents occurring elsewhere, you know. I must investigate them. It is what I have been called upon by God to do." Ray walked up to Ryu and reached out to touch the ranger's face. Ryu reflexively took a step back.

"I don't believe in your God," he snapped harshly.

"You must really hate me," Ray said softly. "But you do not even know why."

"I'm still trying to figure it out."

The cleric looked away with a smirk. "Purest emotion."

"What?"

"Purest emotion," Ray repeated. "When you have nothing but feeling, with no thought behind it. A state of nirvana, a state of enlightenment and bliss. But even bliss comes with its own price, does it not? For without thought, there is no logic, no consciousness. One cannot exist on pure emotion alone."

Ryu frowned darkly. "You speak in nonsense and riddles. I've no time for such games. You know why I'm feeling like this—I see it in your eyes. Tell me."

Ray stared at him for a long moment, silent—the smile had vanished. And then suddenly it returned. "You're not ready," he said offhandedly.

That was a mistake. Ryu's hand shot forth, wrapped around the cleric's robe, and pulled him close. Ryu growled menacingly, "Tell me or I'll cut out your heart." Most of that anger was instinctive, born of that illogical urge of hatred…but enough of it was the frustration that Ryu actually felt. He would cut out the man's heart if the games continued.

Ray understood this and said, "All right. But remember…you asked for this."

The two went to the prow, where they could speak in private. With the breeze blowing through his long red hair, making it dance like a sea of blood, the cleric began his story. "Long ago there were many races, many clans. Grass Runner, Digger, Builder, Shell, Wing, Forest…and the most powerful of them all—the Dragon Clan.

"A schism broke the Dragons into two camps, Light and Dark. The Light Dragons sought to live in harmony with the world around them, using their powers in sync with the rhythms of their planet. The Dark Dragons sought mastery. In short, the Light achieved power through understanding; the Dark understood through power.

"The animosity between the Dragon Clans escalated until the most powerful of the Dark Dragons, Zog, waged open war against his Light cousins—and slaughtered them. When Zog was killed, the Dark Dragons crumbled. Now they are merely a memory in history. The Light Dragons, destroyed by Zog, also vanished into obscurity. And with the demise of the Dragon Clans, so too did their power die—the power to transform into dragons."

"So okasan's stories were true," Ryu murmured. "But what does that have to do with this hatred?"

Ray looked at him sadly; there was no smile this time. "It means, Ryu, that you share the blood of dragons. You hate me because you can smell the blood inside me. You see, we are Dragons—each a representative of one of the clans. The hatred you feel is the genetic inheritance of your clan against mine."

Ryu's eyes widened. Bat wings…okasan has such beautiful wings…Okasan, why didn't you tell us? "We…I…impossible," he whispered.

"I'm afraid that it's the truth," Ray said. "And you know the curse that befalls those with the blood of dragons, do you not? Everyone does. We are monsters, Ryu Bateson. And people fear monsters. Our ancestors' war brought calamity and ruin. Though Zog was defeated, he left the land scarred. Though a Light Dragon, your namesake, saved the world, no one could trust him—because of the blood in his veins. Our curse is to forever have that mantle—Monster—placed upon us. And wherever monsters go, destruction follows."

"Why?" Ryu asked quietly, shocked by the revelation. "Why…why, okasan. Why didn't you tell me?"

You are mistaken, madam….

There is no mistake…Dragon clan.

Why, okasan?

"We bring sadness and ruin wherever we go, Ryu," Ray said. "You saved a boy yesterday. But at what cost? I understand that a friend almost died because you gave the order to save a child. What else has happened in your life? What other tragedies have you been involved in? What other horrors have arisen because you were there?"

Many…too many. The Corsair-Antimodes War…Mina seeing the dead of the village…Eva above…I was there for all of it. Coincidence? No…there was purpose behind each of them. I chose to go there, to each place, I showed others these things, had others fight in these things. I…I display these things like a gallery. The War, the village…Yua. I couldn't find her, I couldn't stop her from disappearing. Yua. Yua. Yua.

Ryu turned away, overcome by horror and revulsion.

But Ray was relentless. "Do you understand now, Ryu? You asked why you hated me. It's because we are the same…the same blood…the same curse—and your blood knows this. We are Dragons, Ryu. We are damned from the moment we were born. Where we take breath, the living stop taking breath. Where we walk, God turns away. Where we exist, misfortune exists.

"I became a cleric of Saint Eva to save people, but most of all, to deny my own blood. I will not bring disaster upon the world I love. But to simply say that I have defeated the curse of my heritage is to invite hubris, the sin that brought our kind's downfall to begin with. No, despite my best efforts—despite anything you, I, or any other Dragon can do—despite everything, we who carry the blood of dragons will be forever sinful, will be forever abominable, in the eyes of God."

Ray touched Ryu's face and this time the ranger did not back away. The cleric's eyes softened. Sadness. Real sadness. Ray closed his eyes. "And this, Ryu Bateson, is the answer you have been seeking."