Author's note: Someone told me I needed to update by New Year's Eve so
without further ado---the disclaimer!
Disclaimer: In case I'm not in the clear allow me to state, unequivocally, that I do not own the characters. Okay. On with the show. **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** *****************************************************
While her hands were busy caressing the silk of his shirt Julian's were far from idle. He adjusted the angle of the arm supporting his weight so his hand could slip behind Jenny's head and into her hair. The hand that had been gently kneading her hip now trail between her hip and ribcage, creating ribbons of desire that seemed to flow out his fingertips.
As the feelings became more potent Jenny's hands became more forceful and she crushed the silk of his shirt within her fingers. He just wasn't close enough, her mind kept insisting. Her hands dug into the flesh at the base of his spine and she lifted her head slightly off the pillow to try to somehow get her mouth even closer to his, to see if that would take the edge off of her desire.
She pulled his shirt up so she could wrap her arms around his torso and press herself to him. Jenny broke free of his kiss to taste his neck. He obliged her with a smile that quickly turned into a gasp as she applied her teeth to his skin, ever so gently. She used her tongue on the wound and then blew softly, sending shivers up and down Julian's spine. He unconsciously tightened the hand that was in Jenny's hair into a fist and as her hair reacted she was forced to raise her head a little.
As she made eye contact the look in his eyes affected her as much as any of his caresses. For a moment they just drank in some needed oxygen. Jenny let her eyes wander over his features before settling on his lips. She wet her own lips while thinking about all the delicious things his lips had been able to do so far. As she thought about some things she wished Julian's lips would do she let a soft moan escape.
Suddenly Julian rolled over, taking her with him. He had been watching her silent study of him and as her eyes locked onto his lips he was about to smile and tease her until he saw her look turn carnal. It was all he could do not to use his magic to assist her out of her clothes. So he compromised.
Now on his back his hands were free to roam. He used the hand in her hair to guide her lips back to his, where his kiss was fiercely possessive. The other hand lifted her shirt and slipped underneath to stroke the skin on her back. The touch of his hand caused Jenny to arch her back, which brought her back into intimate contact with Julian.
Jenny worked her hands between their bodies so she could attack the buttons on his shirt. They flew off with almost no effort and Jenny trailed her fingernails across his chest, causing Julian to groan.
His hands were now both under her shirt massaging her back. There wasn't a lot of give to the fabric so his hands didn't have quite the range of motion he wished for. It was a problem for Jenny too. She wanted his hands to be able to connect more fully with her skin and this fact was what momentarily brought her out of her haze of desire.
She took a second to register the fact that she was still fully clothed. Worse than that she was still wearing the outfit from her horseback riding excursion-jeans, boots, a sleeveless turtleneck and a button-down short- sleeved shirt. She smiled against Julian's lips and whispered to him.
"No wonder it's getting so hot in here."
"Hmm?" Julian managed to whisper between kisses.
"The shirt. Take it off," Jenny begged before realizing how it sounded.
Julian smiled as both her words and their tone sunk in. He lifted himself up, still cradling Jenny in his arms. He quickly got rid of his shirt and prepared to lay them both back down when her giggle stopped him. He simply looked at her, hoping for a quick explanation.
"No silly," she said, shaking her head for emphasis, "I meant MY shirt."
The look on Julian's face was priceless. His eyes widened and he seemed to have fallen under a spell.
Noticing the look Jenny smirked and decided it was too rare to let pass without comment.
"It IS an awfully nice shirt," she stated, "But why didn't I get a change of costume like you?"
When he didn't reply she smiled to herself and went to work on the buttons.
"I guess I'll just have to do it myself," she teased, noticing that his eyes had begun to follow the progress of her hands. For some reason that made her a little nervous and excited at the same time, the end result being that her hands were working a little slower than usual.
Jenny pulled the shirt off and threw it off the bed, not even caring where it landed. She grasped the hem of the turtleneck and prepared to yank it off too when Julian's voice stopped her.
"Don't."
It was barely a whisper but Jenny reacted like he had shouted the word. She froze in place for a moment.
"Why not?" She asked in a voice as soft as his.
When he failed to answer immediately she hated her subconscious for providing a possible reason, which she voiced almost against her will.
"Don't you want me?"
The look he gave her made her regret asking.
"Of course I want you," he began, wrapping his arms around her to keep her from bolting off the bed, "At this moment there is nothing I would rather do than watch you take off all of your clothes and lay here with me while I use my hands, my mouth, and my body to please you in ways you've never even imagined."
That sounded like heaven to her, so what was the problem?
"But," he continued, "I can't."
She glanced down between them and cocked her head to pin him with her look.
He laughed and cupped her face with one of his hands.
"That's not what I meant," he said and kissed her quickly, "But thanks for the vote of confidence. What I meant is that I can't do it in good conscience."
"Why not? What's stopping you?" she countered, "Is it my age? Do you wish I was older?"
"No, not that. It's just that, well there are two things, actually." He looked away for a moment and became lost in thought. Jenny gently twisted his face back to hers.
"Tell me. Please." He searched her eyes for a moment and after gave a great sigh, relenting.
"The first thing is that I think you might be doing this because you think this is just a dream. And if that's the case I can't do it because to me this isn't just a dream. It isn't something to be forgotten easily or ever, for that matter. For me these experiences with you since I, well, left, have been as real as any I had while a Shadow Man. My feelings for you are so intense, Jenny. And they keep on evolving in a way that to me, anyway, is as real as I ever was. I can't take that final step with you and at the same time know that it isn't real to you. That somewhere down the line it won't "count" as your first time. I can't give myself to you knowing that you can't give yourself to me the same way. Because for me Jenny, it's forever."
Throughout his speech Jenny had been fighting back emotion with a small measure of success. Now as she spoke it was with a voice laden with tears. Before she killed him for being an idiot she figured she may as well let the condemned man have his last words.
"What's the second reason?"
Instead of answering right away he crushed her to him again and this time his mouth was hot and demanding on hers. She responded to him immediately, opening her lips and using her tongue in such a way as to wrench a groan from him.
Finally he broke the kiss and just stared at her, his heavy breathing matching hers in its intensity.
"What's the second reason?" Jenny asked again.
He continued to look into her eyes as if looking for something specific. When she just maintained the look he nodded once as if coming to a conclusion.
"The second reason is something that occurred to me a while ago. It's something that I-" He was cut off by Jenny.
"Please just tell me. No long explanations. Just hit me with it."
He smiled and yet as Jenny looked at him his eyes held a look that was wistful if not downright sad.
"What if it's not a dream?"
Disclaimer: In case I'm not in the clear allow me to state, unequivocally, that I do not own the characters. Okay. On with the show. **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** *****************************************************
While her hands were busy caressing the silk of his shirt Julian's were far from idle. He adjusted the angle of the arm supporting his weight so his hand could slip behind Jenny's head and into her hair. The hand that had been gently kneading her hip now trail between her hip and ribcage, creating ribbons of desire that seemed to flow out his fingertips.
As the feelings became more potent Jenny's hands became more forceful and she crushed the silk of his shirt within her fingers. He just wasn't close enough, her mind kept insisting. Her hands dug into the flesh at the base of his spine and she lifted her head slightly off the pillow to try to somehow get her mouth even closer to his, to see if that would take the edge off of her desire.
She pulled his shirt up so she could wrap her arms around his torso and press herself to him. Jenny broke free of his kiss to taste his neck. He obliged her with a smile that quickly turned into a gasp as she applied her teeth to his skin, ever so gently. She used her tongue on the wound and then blew softly, sending shivers up and down Julian's spine. He unconsciously tightened the hand that was in Jenny's hair into a fist and as her hair reacted she was forced to raise her head a little.
As she made eye contact the look in his eyes affected her as much as any of his caresses. For a moment they just drank in some needed oxygen. Jenny let her eyes wander over his features before settling on his lips. She wet her own lips while thinking about all the delicious things his lips had been able to do so far. As she thought about some things she wished Julian's lips would do she let a soft moan escape.
Suddenly Julian rolled over, taking her with him. He had been watching her silent study of him and as her eyes locked onto his lips he was about to smile and tease her until he saw her look turn carnal. It was all he could do not to use his magic to assist her out of her clothes. So he compromised.
Now on his back his hands were free to roam. He used the hand in her hair to guide her lips back to his, where his kiss was fiercely possessive. The other hand lifted her shirt and slipped underneath to stroke the skin on her back. The touch of his hand caused Jenny to arch her back, which brought her back into intimate contact with Julian.
Jenny worked her hands between their bodies so she could attack the buttons on his shirt. They flew off with almost no effort and Jenny trailed her fingernails across his chest, causing Julian to groan.
His hands were now both under her shirt massaging her back. There wasn't a lot of give to the fabric so his hands didn't have quite the range of motion he wished for. It was a problem for Jenny too. She wanted his hands to be able to connect more fully with her skin and this fact was what momentarily brought her out of her haze of desire.
She took a second to register the fact that she was still fully clothed. Worse than that she was still wearing the outfit from her horseback riding excursion-jeans, boots, a sleeveless turtleneck and a button-down short- sleeved shirt. She smiled against Julian's lips and whispered to him.
"No wonder it's getting so hot in here."
"Hmm?" Julian managed to whisper between kisses.
"The shirt. Take it off," Jenny begged before realizing how it sounded.
Julian smiled as both her words and their tone sunk in. He lifted himself up, still cradling Jenny in his arms. He quickly got rid of his shirt and prepared to lay them both back down when her giggle stopped him. He simply looked at her, hoping for a quick explanation.
"No silly," she said, shaking her head for emphasis, "I meant MY shirt."
The look on Julian's face was priceless. His eyes widened and he seemed to have fallen under a spell.
Noticing the look Jenny smirked and decided it was too rare to let pass without comment.
"It IS an awfully nice shirt," she stated, "But why didn't I get a change of costume like you?"
When he didn't reply she smiled to herself and went to work on the buttons.
"I guess I'll just have to do it myself," she teased, noticing that his eyes had begun to follow the progress of her hands. For some reason that made her a little nervous and excited at the same time, the end result being that her hands were working a little slower than usual.
Jenny pulled the shirt off and threw it off the bed, not even caring where it landed. She grasped the hem of the turtleneck and prepared to yank it off too when Julian's voice stopped her.
"Don't."
It was barely a whisper but Jenny reacted like he had shouted the word. She froze in place for a moment.
"Why not?" She asked in a voice as soft as his.
When he failed to answer immediately she hated her subconscious for providing a possible reason, which she voiced almost against her will.
"Don't you want me?"
The look he gave her made her regret asking.
"Of course I want you," he began, wrapping his arms around her to keep her from bolting off the bed, "At this moment there is nothing I would rather do than watch you take off all of your clothes and lay here with me while I use my hands, my mouth, and my body to please you in ways you've never even imagined."
That sounded like heaven to her, so what was the problem?
"But," he continued, "I can't."
She glanced down between them and cocked her head to pin him with her look.
He laughed and cupped her face with one of his hands.
"That's not what I meant," he said and kissed her quickly, "But thanks for the vote of confidence. What I meant is that I can't do it in good conscience."
"Why not? What's stopping you?" she countered, "Is it my age? Do you wish I was older?"
"No, not that. It's just that, well there are two things, actually." He looked away for a moment and became lost in thought. Jenny gently twisted his face back to hers.
"Tell me. Please." He searched her eyes for a moment and after gave a great sigh, relenting.
"The first thing is that I think you might be doing this because you think this is just a dream. And if that's the case I can't do it because to me this isn't just a dream. It isn't something to be forgotten easily or ever, for that matter. For me these experiences with you since I, well, left, have been as real as any I had while a Shadow Man. My feelings for you are so intense, Jenny. And they keep on evolving in a way that to me, anyway, is as real as I ever was. I can't take that final step with you and at the same time know that it isn't real to you. That somewhere down the line it won't "count" as your first time. I can't give myself to you knowing that you can't give yourself to me the same way. Because for me Jenny, it's forever."
Throughout his speech Jenny had been fighting back emotion with a small measure of success. Now as she spoke it was with a voice laden with tears. Before she killed him for being an idiot she figured she may as well let the condemned man have his last words.
"What's the second reason?"
Instead of answering right away he crushed her to him again and this time his mouth was hot and demanding on hers. She responded to him immediately, opening her lips and using her tongue in such a way as to wrench a groan from him.
Finally he broke the kiss and just stared at her, his heavy breathing matching hers in its intensity.
"What's the second reason?" Jenny asked again.
He continued to look into her eyes as if looking for something specific. When she just maintained the look he nodded once as if coming to a conclusion.
"The second reason is something that occurred to me a while ago. It's something that I-" He was cut off by Jenny.
"Please just tell me. No long explanations. Just hit me with it."
He smiled and yet as Jenny looked at him his eyes held a look that was wistful if not downright sad.
"What if it's not a dream?"