Elvis Presley belongs to himself.

Chapter 3 – Show myself naked? Are you kidding me, man?

It's a beautiful evening. Mulan is swimming in the lake near the Wu Zhong camp.

"Ahhh."

Mushu peeks at her from the bushes. "Who-ho-ho! What a body!"

"MUSHU! Go back and stand watch!"

"Yeah, yeah, stand watch Mushu while I blow our secret with my stupid girly habits. Humph, hygiene."

"Chirp chirp", sayss Cri-Kee, but since I don't know cricket-language, I can't explain what he's trying to tell Mushu.

Suddenly, three men (Ling, Yao and Chien-Po – predictable – to be precise) run past Mushu and he gets some boxers in the face – with red hearts on.

"Phhtf, ew!" Mushu takes a closer look at the piece of clothing, which is, said in passing, not particularly clean. "What's this? Boxers? With red hearts on? Mwahahahahahaha!"

"CUT!" shouts the Director. "Mushu, you're supposed to scream 'Ah! We're doomed! There are a couple of things I know they're bound to notice!' You know, you're getting paid to act after the script, and..."

"Nag, nag, nag. Ah! We're doomed! There are a couple of things I know they're bound to notice!"

"Me first! Me first! Me first!" screams Yao, as the childish twit he is.

Ling is not much better. "Yahoo! Woho!"

Ling and Yao jumps into the water.

"Chien-Po, are you coming?" asks Ling.

"And show myself naked in a movie? Are you crazy? Forget it!"

"Don't worry, Chien-Po, Yao is the only one who really has to be naked in this scene."

"What!" exclaims Yao. "They're not going to show my...eh...you-know-what-I-mean, anyway, so I'm wearing bathing-trunks."

"Actually, Ling is right", says the Director. "Your bathing-trunks is too big, people are going to see them on the screen."

"But..."

"No 'but', in your contract it says:" He holds up Yao's film contract and reads loud. "'I promise to show myself naked in the movie, in the bath scene'."

Yao looks very confused. "Where? Let me see, I didn't read that when I signed it!"

He reads the contract.

"Oh. Look'slike you're right."

"Yup."

Yao leaves his bathing trunks on the beach and dives into the water.

"Aaaaaaaand... action!" screams the Director.

Ling, Yao and Chien-Po swim to the rock where "Ping" is hiding.

"Hello Ping!"

"Hi guys! Nice to meet 'ya, here, in the water...um...how' bout a swimming race to the rock out there?"

"Ok, I'll reach it first!" says Ling provocative.

"No, no, no...cut!" The poor Director prepares himself to explain what his actors shall do, since they obviously haven't read the script. "'Ping', you're supposed to be surprised and frightened, I mean, what if they reveal your little secret?"

"What secret?" asks the three guys curiously.

"Er...forget it", says the boy who really is a girl. "Guys! What a surprise! You almost gave me a fright!"

"Not again. Not again. This isn't happening", says the Director, trying to convince himself that it really isn't happening.

"Let's play 'King of the rock'", suggests Yao. "Well, actually, we don't have to compete, I'll win anyway..."

Yao climbs an inflatable mattress (Author's note: I don't really know what the real word is, so I wrote something that I hope you'll understand. You know, these kind of bathing toys? Rubber mattresses?) which floats on the water surface.

"Oh yeah?" smirks Ling. "Well, I think Ping and I can take you!"

"Ping" starts wading away.

"I really don't want to take him anywhere."

Ling follows her.

"Ping, we have to fight!"

"Um, no, we don't...er...look! It's Elvis Presley back from the dead!"

She points behind Ling and the others.

The three guys, who are very easy to trick, turn their heads around wildly. "Elvis? Where? Where?"

"Ping" rushes up from the water.

"Oh my Ancestors, Mushu, that was close."

"I told it was a bad idea!" hisses Mushu. "You could have taken a bath in the middle of the night when no one could see you, but noooo... you had to do it about 7 pm... hrmf. What if they had revealed you?"

Suddenly, Elvis Presley appears at the beach.

"Hi, sorry 'bout interrupting, but was I supposed to be in this chapter?"

"No, you're not supposed to come at all", snarles the now really pissed off Director. "'Ping' was just saying 'It's Elvis Presley back from the dead!' to get time to run away. And you're dead."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am NOT! I was kidnapped by cheese-smelling aliens who wanted to clone me for scientific experiments all along."

"Really? Oh, man, this explains a lot of things. Can I have your autograph?"

"Sure, why not."

Elvis signs a piece of paper and hands it to the Director.

"Here you go."

"Wow! It's Elvis' autograph! Oh my..."

The Director faints.

"Uh, boss? What about the rest of the scene?" asks "Ping".

"He" knocks the Director in the head. Nothing happens.

"Hm. Okay, let's take a break then..."

Everyone takes a break for about 3 hours, to take a nape, eat some funny sandwiches and hide the Director's bike in some bushes.

I have chapter 4 ready, but there has to be some tension, right?