From now on all author's notes and disclaimers will be at the bottom so those who do not wish to read them do not have to.
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"So I decided to just grab the bull by the horns and quit procrastinating. I mean, it wasn't going to get any easier. And I told him I thought we were breaking up, and was I right?"
"What did he say?" Julian asked, propelled by a morbid sense of curiosity.
Jenny turned to face him and once again the faint sheen of tears veiled her eyes.
"He said 'Yes.' And I never thought about what it would sound like to hear it…" she trailed off for a minute, clearly reliving the experience, "And then I asked him 'What happened to us?' At first he just said he didn't know. But I knew. And I knew that he just didn't want to say it so I did. I told him I thought it started with The Games."
"You actually said that?" Julian blurted out.
When Jenny looked at him she could tell he wasn't only surprised, he was proud of her. That made her smile, but it was short-lived as she continued.
"Yeah, I did. And Tom agreed. So then for a moment I panicked and didn't want to go through with it and so I asked him 'Why can't things go back to the way they were before?'"
Jenny couldn't look at him as she said that, though. She didn't want to see if he was disappointed in her.
"And I was angry when I said it and so I guess that made Tom annoyed because he snapped at me. He said 'Because of him, that's why.'"
She braved a glance at Julian but his expression was inscrutable. She looked away as she continued.
"I was so shocked to hear Tom say that. I mean, it wasn't that I didn't agree with him, it was just weird to imagine him even thinking it, let alone to hear him say it."
"So what did you say?" Julian's question drew Jenny's attention back to him.
"I asked him what about you, I mean, him. And he said 'You know,' which got me upset because I know how hard it was to talk about but if we were going to get everything out in the open then we needed to say it, no matter how hurtful it was to express or hear. So I made some smart-ass comment about being psychic so it wasn't necessary to tell me anything. It was pretty immature."
"How did he respond?"
"Well it took some nagging but he finally started talking. Or yelling, to be more precise. He shouted at me, saying how could I do that?"
"Do what?" Julian asked. Jenny smiled.
"Took the words right out of my mouth. And Tom yelled 'Be like that with him! Do you have any idea how that felt?'"
Jenny looked over at Julian and shrugged at the confused expression he wore. It mirrored the one she sported when Tom had been talking to her.
"So I was confused and I asked him to explain in a little bit more detail. That's when he shouted that he saw me kiss you."
"Which time?" Julian asked. It was too much. Jenny started to laugh. They were really a lot alike.
"What's so funny?" Julian's voice cut through her mirth.
"It's just that those were my thoughts exactly. I didn't say it, though," she quieted her laughter as she thought of what happened next, "So Tom launches into an explanation of how mad he was that we kissed at the end of the first Game and demanded to know if I had any idea how it felt to see how that kiss affected me?"
"What happened next?"
"So I told him the truth. That I didn't know. How could I? It was the first time he'd ever talked about any of that with me. At length, anyway."
Julian let her trail off and gather her thoughts after that comment. He was taken aback by a few of the things Tom had said to her. It took real guts, for both of them, to dare to utter some of the thoughts they had harbored.
"And then, oh god Julian, it was horrible. He said that he keeps seeing it happen."
Do I want to know what she's talking about? Julian asked himself. No, you really don't, he decided.
"He was talking about the kiss."
Well that clears that up.
"He said he noticed that it was you who ended it. And then he told me that I didn't even try to fight. He said he still can't get over it."
"Did he ask why you did it?" Julian wanted to know. Jenny shot him a glance. This was starting to creep her out a little. It was just what she had been thinking, again.
"What? Are you psychic? No! Thank god! He provided his own answer."
"Which was?"
"He figured I was just trying to help them, you know, get it over as fast as possible. But then we just kept kissing and…"
"And what?"
"He said the part that killed him was when we finally stopped kissing. Because when we stopped I opened my eyes. And when I did that," here she paused much as Tom had done when he had uttered the words, "He said he looked at me and knew. That he supposed anyone who was looking knew, but he saw it first. I looked at you as if I wanted you. For just a moment Tom knew--I wanted you. I wanted you to kiss me again."
Julian decided that he didn't want to talk about this anymore tonight. And it would probably do Jenny some good to get her mind off of it for a little while. After all come morning it would be all anyone would talk to her about for a long time. So after a quick internal debate he decided to tease Jenny a little.
"And was he right?" Julian queried.
Jenny was thrown for a moment.
"Right about what?"
"About what he saw when you opened your eyes after that kiss."
She blushed and looked away although she wasn't entirely sure why she reacted that way. Why was he asking her that? It's not as if he didn't know the answer.
"Like you don't know." She scoffed at him.
"Maybe I don't. Maybe I only think I know the answer. So humor me and answer the question."
"Could you repeat the question?"
He rolled his eyes but complied.
"Yes, Tom was right. Ok? Are you happy now?"
"Not yet. What was Tom right about?"
What in the world was he playing at?
"What? What are you getting at? What do you mean what was Tom right about? He was right about what he saw, okay?"
He grasped her elbow and gently tugged until she was facing him. But she wouldn't meet his gaze. He cupped the side of her face with his hand and tilted her chin up with his thumb. He used his free hand to stroke her cheek and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She shivered slightly and leaned into his touch, closing her eyes as she did.
"Give me the words, Jenny."
She reluctantly opened her eyes and met his stare. Was it really that important that she admit to it? Why was she so hesitant to do so, anyway? Probably because she was already pretty vulnerable where Julian was concerned, she reasoned. But if it would make him happy she could do it.
"Yes, Tom was right. When I opened my eyes after that kiss at the end of the first Game I wanted you to kiss me again."
He smiled down at her and looped his arm around her shoulders to pull her to him. He was in the process of moving his hand from the side of her face when she spoke again.
"But…"
He cradled her within his arms and looked down at her, curious.
"Yes?"
"But I also wanted you in every sense of the word."
It was her turn to smile at him, but her grin was short-lived as Julian crushed her lips to his. Pulling them both up to rest against the headboard Julian devoured her mouth and slid the fingers of one hand into her hair while the other hand caressed the base of her neck, sending thousands of delightful shivers down Jenny's spine.
Ooh boy! Jenny was going to have to remember this trick for later. If all Julian wanted was for her to say she wanted him in return for some quality kissing then she was sure she could come up with some creative ways of conveying the message!
Jenny traced Julian's lower lip with her tongue and was rewarded with a groan from deep within him. She smiled against his mouth and lifted her lips to move them to his jaw line when her alarm clock suddenly blared; startling her so much she immediately woke up.
Slamming her fist down on the snooze button she snarled, angry she had been so rudely interrupted. She was still grumbling as she returned to her room after her shower. Then a thought occurred to her which made her even more impatient for the day to be over.
She had forgotten to ask Julian about his earlier comment and what he had meant by saying he thought they weren't interacting in a dream.
Damn.
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Disclaimer: I own none of the characters used in the production of this story. Believe me, I'd be the first to tell you if I did.
Author's Notes: Well the reviewers are more important than anything so I'll get on with this chapter's thank you section
Chapter 29
Cat --So I have found a fellow admirer of Mr. Bloom in you, hmm? I wish I actually knew him so I could say something about him personally instead of sticking with the old standby but it will have to do…he is just such a beautiful man! Hee hee.
Amber Evans Potter—heh heh. Smut, hmm? Yeah, I know a lot of ppl are clamoring for the return to the heat and I'm glad you realize that I have to get the actual plot points taken care of…I don't want this to disintegrate into a PWP story. Well ok, it wouldn't be the end of the world if it did but still….anyway I'm sending a prayer heavenward that your writer's block goes away!
Skyfire—So did you finish reading this chapter and remain happy with the parts with Julian…maybe frustrated at where it left off? Sorry!
-pixxi—I'm looking forward to the Twilight Zone Refrigerator…Your story about Teddy was so touching, and I'm glad you could relate to Leo…I especially liked the part about his haircut. It reminded me of the time my mom cut one of my Barbie's hair really really short so my sister and I could pretend she was Ken…talk about the messages THAT sent. Ok, enough of my own nostalgic rant. As for the snog-a-thon, yeah, I'm guessing you're not too happy about this chapter? Sorry! I want to get back there ASAP but I need to have Jenny go to school, but fortunately finals are coming up and then she'll (presumably) have all summer free for nice steamy romance….
Shadow—You too, huh? I had some serious server problems all this week (stupid weather patterns). Thanks for checking in!
-pixxi—Yes, I'm writing again because you cared enough to leave another great review for me. First of all, the song I always think of for book three is "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling. Especially considering the end of the book. I don't off hand recognize either song you put down but now I am a woman on a mission and by the time the next chapter is up I WILL have listened to them! Yes, I'm sure Julian was getting lonely and in fact we may soon read about Julian and what he does to curb the loneliness between visits. Nigerian Sleeping Flu, eh? There is some kind of sleeping sickness out there, and maybe Jenny can come down with it! Ok, there's my two cents.