I'm back just for a couple of days. Wanted to stay here in town, but... Typical conversation between me and my mum:
"I can't go to the cottage! I have my duties against the readers!"
"C'mon Sara (my real name), the weather is wonderful and it's summer! You can not stay here in town for the whole holiday!"
"Wonderful weather! It's raining!"
"Well, on TV they said it would be wonderful..."
And so on. The point is, I lost.
Thanks for all your reviews! And, alibi girl, as an answer on your question, I made general Li write a letter 'cause 'he' does that in the movie. Just so you know. Well, on with the story!
Robin Hood and his merry men belong to Howard Pyle. (Well, to be really honest, they come from a lot of legends and fairy tales, it's just that Howard Pyle wrote a real book about them…)
Chapter 5 – You're not rich? Are you kidding me, man?
After 2 hours of struggling about the best places, Shang, Chi Fu and Mervyn sit on the first floor, while all the soldiers sit on the second floor, even if there is no room for them all. Don't ask me how they managed. Anyway, the double decker hasn't droved so far before it stops again.
"Not again", groans Shang. "What's the problem now?"
"There are somebody on the road", answers Mervyn.
And, actually, there are a few men in brown and green tricots on the road. One of them steps forward. He seems to be the leader, 'cause he has a red feather in his hat, and the others have yellow feathers.
"Stop, in the name of King Arthur!" he shouts.
The Chinese army, Mervyn, Shang and Chi Fu come out from the bus.
"Who's King Arthur?"
"You know, King Arthur..."
"Nope, we don't know King Arthur."
"He with the magic sword, Excalibur..." The guy with a red feather in his hat starts to sound impatient.
"Nope, no little bells are ringin'", shrugs the Chinese people.
"And a wizard friend named Merlin..."
"FOR THE LAST TIME, WE DON'T KNOW YOUR DARN KING ARTHUR!"
The man with the red feather holds up his hands before him. "Okay, okay, just take it easy! Anyway, I'm Robin Hood. And these are my merry men. The fat one is Little John and the one with a halo is Brother Tuck. It doesn't matter who the others are."
"I'm Captain Li Shang", says Shang. "This is Mervyn. And this is the best army in whole China. The gay soldier in green armour is Ping, the soldier which is fatter than Little John is Chien-Po, the tall, skinny one is Ling and the short one with a black eye is Yao. It doesn't matter who the others are."
"Wait a second, what about me?" says Chi Fu (who else?) in a very offended tone.
"?" asks Shang politely.
"I am the Emperor's council! I am Chi Fu! I am a lot more important than you, it DOES matter who I am!"
"For the last time, we KNOW you are the emperor's council, it's just that that we don't care", explains Soldier # 9..
"That's it! I don't want to talk to you anymore! I'm going into the bus!"
"Yay!" everyone shout, including Robin Hood and his merry men.
"So, now when he's gone, let's get down to business", says Robin Hood in a business-like tone.
"Hey, that's my line!" exclaims Shang.
Robin Hood raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean your line? Have you written your name on it maybe?"
"No, but I invented it."
"You didn't!" exclaims Mushu. "It was written in the script! You didn't invent it at all!"
"But..."
"No 'but'."
Shang pouts. "Hrmf."
"Anyway, are you rich?" wonders Robin Hood.
"What?" asks 'Ping'.
"Are you rich?"
"What do you mean 'are you rich'?" asks Yao (AN: my, those Chinese people aren't very smart, now are they?).
"Aha. I see. You don't know what we're here for."
"Nope, we don't", answers 'Ping'.
"You see, we steal from the rich and give to the poor", explains Robin Hood. "We feel really sorry for them."
"The poor?" asks Chien-Po.
"No, the rich", says Little John. "I guess that it's not very fun for them when we steal their things."
"Oh."
Brother Tuck repeats the question. "But, are you rich or not?"
"What'll happen if we say yes?" wonders Ling.
"We rob you", says Robin Hood.
"In that case, we aren't rich", answers Shang. (as if they're going to believe him)
"Oh yeah, right", snickers Robin Hood. "You have an own bus and everything, you sure aren't rich."
"Um, guys, I guess that caustic manner in his voice means he doesn't believe us", whispers Shang to Mervyn and the army.
"You sure?" The sarcasm in Mervyn's voice is hard to miss. "What shall we do?"
Yao jumps up and down with his arm in the air, as if they were in school. "I know, I know!"
"What?" everyone ask (except R. H. and his merry men, which cannot hear them).
"How 'bout, we point behind them and scream: 'Look, a pink elephant!' And when they turn around, we jump into the bus and drive away very fast."
Ling shakes his head. "Nah, I don't think they are very interested in pink elephants."
"How 'bout an orange elephant?"
"Oh, be quiet..."
"Can't we just beat them up?" suggests Chien-Po.
"Nah, they have bows, you know", says Shang. "We'd be full of arrows before we could say: 'Holy shit!' if they begin to suspect something."
"Oh yeah", nods Soldiers # 6 – 15.
The Chinese people think about it for a while, and Robin Hood and his merry men start wondering what the heck they're talking about.
"What the heck are they talking about?" asks Merry man # 3.
"I have NO idea", answers Merry man # 2.
"Really?" Merry man # 8 raises his eyebrows. "That's a BIG surprise..."
"Hey, I heard that!"
"Englishmen!" interrupts Robin Hood. "Stop this struggling between ourselves and think about these Chinese dudes. You think they're trying to fool us in some way?"
"Well, we all know that the Chinese people aren't very smart", says Brother Tuck. "I don't think they could ever come up with the IDEA to do something like that..."
"But what if they're telling the truth? What if they really aren't rich?" asks Little John.
Robin Hood rolls his eyes. "Well duh, Little John. They have their own bus!"
"But maybe they used their last money to rent it?" Little John points out.
"You know, boss, he's got a point there" nods Merry man # 5.
"Mmm. Okay. Maybe you're right. Let's go rob the emperor!"
"Yay!" they all shout.
Robin Hood and his merry men leave the place and head for the subway. But that's another story. Anyway, the Chinese people are so busy thinking of a plan, they don't notice Robin Hood and his merry men leaving.
2 hours later...
"Ooooh!" groans Chien-Po. "I'm so tired of this! We've been working with it for hours and we still haven't got a plan!"
"Maybe we just could jump into the bus and drive away...?" suggests 'Ping'.
"Hey, that was my idea!" exclaims Yao.
"Nope, it wasn't. I haven't mentioned a silly elephant."
Ling turns to Shang. "What do you think, boss?"
"Well, it seems like there's nothing else to do, so let's go then!"
The Chinese people make themselves ready to run to the bus. But, when 'Ping' turns 'his' head to the left to check out what Robin Hood and his men are doing, 'he' notices they aren't there anymore.
"Hey guys! That king Arthur-freak and his pals have disappeared!"
"Holy crap!" yells Ling. "So we've been standing here for hours thinking of a plan, for nothing!"
"Yep, looks like you're right."
"AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH! ¤¨§£"""&/-!('½¤¤'$!" is Yao's intelligent answer to that.
I'm so pleased with this chapter. Please review!
Goddess of Idun