Thank you so much for all the reviews. I've been walking around smiling for days! And, alibi girl, did you want me to use Puss in boots instead of Robin Hood? I didn't really understand that...

Pocahontas belongs to Disney (well, actually, she has existed, so to be completely correct, she belongs to herself).

Chapter 6 – My father's dead? Are you kidding me, man?

After 2½ hours in the bus...

"Are we there yet?" asks Shang.

"No, there are still 4 or 5 kilometres to the Burned Village", answers Mervyn.

"Depressing name, 'The Burned Village'", says 'Ping'. "Why is it called that?"

"It's burned", explains Chien-Po.

"Aha."

Suddenly...

"Eeeeeeeeek!" says the bus.

Everyone is thrown forward and gets pressed against the bus's window. It takes about 15 minutes before they have sorted themselves out.

"Okay, lemme guess", sighs Soldier # 25. "There's somebody on the road again?"

"Oh yes", answers Soldier # 32.

On the road there's a girl in a very small dress, with bare feet and long black hair. She looks like she's freezing.

"Whoa mama!" shout everybody except 'Ping'.

They run out of the bus and surround her. Only 'Ping' stays.

"Hrmf."

Ling kisses the girl's hand. "And who may this beautiful lady be?"

The girl slaps him. "Don't touch me, you perv! I'm Pocahontas and I'm freezing my butt off. I hate this place."

Everyone let go of Pocahontas.

Yao looks surprised. "Pocahontas? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the other side of the ocean, at that America place!"

Shang nods. "Yeah, and where is your boyfriend, that Smith guy? You two are supposed to be in love!"

Pocahontas raises an eyebrow. "Oh, you mean Johnnie-boy? I dumped him. He smells awful and he's getting acne all over his body. He's really egoistic too, never allowed me to hold the remote control."

"Oh, you poor thing", says Chien-Po sympathetically.

He reaches out his hand to touch her shoulder.

"What did I say about touching me?" hisses Pocahontas.

She shoots knifes from her eyes (not literally, you morons! That'd look pretty silly, wouldn't it?). All the guys seem to have lost their sexual interest in Pocahontas. In fact, they look kinda scared of her.

"Eh, um, so what's the reason you're here? I guess you're not here just for the fun of it..." says Shang in a small voice.

"Fun? You think this is FUN? To be surrounded by a bunch of Chinese pervs in an ice-cold landshape? Jerk. No, actually I'm here to tell ya that your father died."

Shang raises his eyebrows. "No shit? Oh well. I never really liked him."

"Oh, this is terrible!" whines Chi Fu. "When I've told the emperor about this... those Huns are so dead!"

"Wait a sec, who said the Huns killed him?" asks Pocahontas.

"They didn't? I thought that was obvious. Well, if it weren't them, then who is responsible for the general's death?"

"Actually, it was his own fault. He and his men were playing with fireworks and, you know... accidents happen."

"Gosh. And I really admired that man", says Soldier # 31 offended, as if General Li died just to irritate him.

"I agree", mutters Soldier # 2.

Ling clears his throat. "But, if we already know that the general-guy and his companions have said bye-bye and have had a welcome-to-death-party with their ancestors, why are we heading for The Burned Village? Couldn't we take a short-cut to the capital? (AN: I must admit that I have NO idea what the real name is. Guess it isn't the same as now.)"

"Well, I think that's a pretty good idea", agrees Mervyn. "How about –"

"Quiet and listen!" interrupts Yao. "What's that?"

Everyone listens. In the distance, they hear a noise.

"B-RM, B-RM!"

Suddenly, a bunch of snow scooters appears between two mountains.

"Eeeek! It's the Huns!" squeals Chi Fu and hides in the bus, shaking with fear, as the coward he is."Crap, do they look aggressive or what!" exclaims Pocahontas. "I'm getting the hell outta here."

She disappears in a puff of smoke.

Soldier # 27 stares at the spot where she was two seconds ago. "My, how did she do that?"

Soldier # 15 rolls his eyes. "Well, this is a movie, duh. Everything's possible."

'Ping' is coming out of the bus. "Look! They're getting closer!"

The Huns' snow scooters are very fast. They're now so close that the Chinese people can see their faces. They look very evil.

"Umm... does anybody have a plan?" wonders Shang.

Yao jumps up and down, with his hand in the air, as if they were in school. "How 'bout, we point behind them and scream: 'Look, a pink elephant!' And when they turn around –"

Soldier # 23 smacks his head and he faints.

"Good work soldier!" exclaims Shang.

"Why, oh why did I buy a silly horse instead of a cool snow scooter?" 'Ping' asks 'himself'.

Khan glares at 'him'.

"What are we going to do?" wonders Chien-Po desperately. "The Huns will be here any second!"

Everyone starts thinking of a plan. Strangely enough, though the Huns are getting closer every second, they never reach the army and Mervyn.

After 24 minutes and 33 seconds, Mushu has had enough.

"Oh ancestors, don't you ever use your braincells? If you can't think of a plan, read in your scripts what to do!"

"Man, that's smart!" says Chien-Po happily.

"Really?" mutters Mushu. "Very intelligent opinion... Moron."

"This script-thing would have come in handy in the last chapter", says Shang as he brows his way through the script.

Everyone, even the Huns, read in their scripts.

Ling points at a page. "Hey, here it's written that we should use lighters to melt the snow, then they can't reach us with their snow scooters. (AN: Maybe snow scooters are able to work at least a little bit on bare ground also... I don't know. Anyhow, the Hun's snow scooters can't.)"

"That's a great idea!" shouts Mervyn. "I think I even have some lighters in the bus. Wait a minute."

He rushes to the bus and comes back with precisely enough lighters for all of them, including Yao, who has woken up. Everybody wants a red one, 'cause the yellow ones are ugly. Unfortunately, there're only 6 red lighters for 41 persons. A fight about the red lighters starts.

"Knock it off!" screams Mushu. "Let's give the red ones to Shang, Ling, Yao, Chien- Po, Ping and Mervyn, 'cause they have bigger roles than the rest of you."

"Yay!" yells Shang, Ling, Yao, Chien-Po, 'Ping' and Mervyn.

"Ohhh..." says everyone else.

Meanwhile, the Huns are discussing the Chinese people's plan.

"It's not fair!" exclaims Hun # 4. "Do we ever use lighters against them? Huh? Do we? Do we?"

"You're right, but on the other hand, we are invading their country" objects Hun # 1..

"Hey, which side are you on?"

"Traitor!" yells Hun # 17.

Hun # 1 wrinkles his forehead. "Why you little..."

"Shut UP!" shouts Shan-Yu. Under his breath, he mumbles something about 'migraine'. "We have more important things to discuss than that! Do you understand?"

Hun # 1, 4 and 17 bow. "Yes, your evilness."

"But, what shall we do?" asks Hun # 10.

"We'll take them by surprise. Let's attack before they have time to melt the snow. Ready? CHARGE!"

Shan-Yu and his men drive down the hill.

Ling points to them. "Look! There they come!"

"What're you waiting for? Melt the snow!" screams Shang.

The Chinese people melt the snow with their lighters. Suddenly, 'Ping' drops 'his' lighter.

"Ouch! I burned my finger!"

No one pays attention to what 'he's' saying. They have finished the snow-melting task.

"Now get into the bus! Quickly!" orders Shang.

Everyone rushes into the bus and watches as the Huns are getting closer.

Hun # 13 makes a funny face. "Damnit, they were faster than us!"

"D'oh!" exclaims Hun # 7, as the Simpsons-fan he is.

They don't have time to brake before they're stuck on bare ground. The Chinese people dance a victory dance in the bus.

"VICTORY!"

That's it. I hope you liked it.

Idun