It's Another Omake! W00T!11 (We're still on the pathway to many abilities some consider to be sploitz!)

Windu: "You can hang with us, but we still think you're a n00b."

Palpatine: "Go D/L those hacks I showed you, and you will be teh r0xx0rz!"

Obi-Wan: "Stop TK'ing, you fag!11"

Yoda: "A dirty haxx0r, that Anakin punk is."

All: "It'5 0m4k3 Fun-Fun Tim3, j00 h4xx0r!"

Author's Note: Yeah, that intro's an allusion to a very, very amusing fan-trailer for Star Wars 3. All you Star Wars geeks will know exactly which one I'm talking about. )

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away….

BREATH OF FIRE: EPISODE WOSSNAME

The Phantom Author

(Ryu enters the room)

Ryu: (clears throat) Today we'll be deviating from the story to explain the long-drawn question: where the hell did Razilin go for the past three weeks? So now, without further ado, the Capcom Omake Theatre Company presents: "A Day in the Life of Raz."

Hour 1: Awakening

Razilin: (yawns) It is 6:00. I always, without fail, wake up at 6:00. (returns to bed for an hour)

Hour 2: Reawakening

Razilin: (yawns) Time to get up. I go check homac. a forum in which I am a global moderator, which means I have l33t power overwhelming. Gack! WTF? More spammers! Die! (unleashes mini Raz-bots to destroy the vile annoying 13-year-old n00bs)

Hour 3: Dishes and breakfast

Razilin: (whistling "Whistle While You Work") Doing last night's dishes, cooking a pot of rice, and scrambling eggs. Yum.

Hour 4: Genetics homework and John Milton

Razilin: Wow, genetics is boring as all hell. But hey, you can't beat Milton's Paradise Lost. Heh, heh—Moloch's title involves him being covered in blood and the tears of parents. That's so badass. I love you, John Milton.

Hour 5: Genetics with G. Zainelli

Razilin: Well, my new genetics professor looks hot, but she also looks like jailbait—but she's at least 30 years old. It's baffling!

Hour 6: Lunch time

Razilin: Mmm. Homemade deli sandwich.

Hour 7: Cultural Anthropology with R. Cook

Razilin: If I put Professor Cook into a Jedi robe and gave him a lightsaber, he'd so look like Obi-Wan Kenobi. It's gotta be that beard.

Hour 8: Invertebrate Biology with J. Savitz

Razilin: You know what? I'll bet you can eat half the shit that we see in class…

Hour 9, 10, and 11: Tutoring

Razilin: Ho hum. Here I am, working at the tutoring center, teaching sophomores the finer points of organic chemistry. Oh, great, here comes a freshman asking about general biology or general chemistry. Idiots, go open the freakin' book for once, you lazy bums.

Hour 12: The Train Ride

Razilin: I love and hate public transportation. It gets me where I need to go, but it's so damn shady. Is that a drug deal I see in the next car over?

Hour 13, 14, and 15: Hospital Shift

Razilin: I run around a 9-story hospital, plus basement, taking care of infants, toddlers, pre-adolescents, and teenagers. I make toys, fix trachea tubes, run around at the behest of parents and nurses, and generally look like a saint. I do this two or three times a week because we're currently understaffed. Yay double/triple shift.

Hour 16: The Train Ride Redux

Razilin: God damn it, the train's stuck again. Well, well, looks like someone committed suicide on the train tracks…AGAIN! Fucker, you could at LEAST do it on Sunday. Then you'll not only affront God because of a mortal sin, but you'll blaspheme his day as well! AND no one else is riding the damn train in the middle of a workday! Seriously, if you live in a big city, you eventually see enough suicides, killings, and robberies that you just take it as a normal part of the day. Go cynicism.

Hour 17: More Homework

Razilin: But I don't want to read about the history of feminism or nationalism. I want to read about the history of capitalism! Because capitalism is amazing, just like Adams and the invisible hand! No, I don't want to read about polychaetes. I eat polychaetes. I don't want to dissect them anymore! Ooo, more Milton. Let me make love to your epic poetic lines.

Hour 18: Cosplay

Razilin: (huffing and puffing) Need…to…finish…Sol Badguy and Jedi Master…costumes…Halloween…in…eleven days!

Hour 19: Blissful, blissful sleep….

Razilin: SNORE!

(Ryu reenters the room)

Ryu: And what is missing here? That's right: writing the fanfic. Why do we not see this? NO TIME! But don't worry, Razilin promises that he will finish it. He ALWAYS finishes what he starts, whether he likes it or not. You just might need to wait a little longer. Expect other delays later. Poor Raz has to deal with MCATs sooner than he thinks. He's got three years of college academics to read up on before April. I'd like to see YOU do it.