Hello again! I'm back! Wee! I've had quite boring in our summer cottage, watching out for the mosquitoes, watching the rain and making bracelets out of yarn... You want one? Please leave a review and I'll send you one. No, really! I've got a BIG bunch of bracelets which I just wanna get rid of. Tell me your address and you'll get one.

Five minutes ago, when I read your reviews for the 1000:th time, I discovered that I haven't answered a question from Jhs Rockerbaby – "how did you come up with Robin Hood in ch. 5?" Well, I'd just read Ivanhoe by Walter Scott where R. H. appears, called Locksley most of the time. I got the idea from there.

I don't like Metallica, but you who do like them, as I said, take this as a joke.

Ooops, seems like I'm rambling. On with the story, and, as always, I apologize for my bad grammar!

Chapter 9 – The Huns are back? Are you kidding me, man?

Mushu gives the Huns and Mulan 42 ½ minutes to cry out their grief over Jack's death.

"WHAT?" exclaims Mushu. "Excuse me, Idun, but I'm not going to sit here and listen to these crybabies for 43 minutes!"

Not 43 minutes. 42 ½.

"It doesn't matter! I won't do it!" Mushu crosses his arms stubbornly.

Ohhh... Please?

"No."

35 minutes?

"6."

28.

"14."

22.

"19."

Deal.

Okay, let's take it from the beginning. Mushu gives the Huns and Mulan 19 minutes to cry out their grief over Jack's death.

"Is it okay if I listen to music at the same time?" asks Mushu.

Well, if you have a freesty...

Mushu drags a gigantic stereo out of nowhere and starts listen to Metallica from loudspeakers as big as tractor wheels, while singing surprisingly false.

"THUNDER AND LIGHTNING THE GODS TAKE REVENGE, SENSELESS DESTRUCTION, VICTIMS OF FURY ARE COWARDLY NOW, RUNNING FOR SAFETY, STABBING THE HARLOT TO PAY FOR – "

"No no no!" shouts the author and stomps on the stereo. The music stops.

"No! What was that for? You said it was okay to listen to music!" pouts Mushu.

Not Metallica. Try Mozart or Vivaldi next time.

"Hrmf."

Mushu's sulking for 19 minutes. Then...

"Okay, I'm ready to continue with the movie," says Mulan. "What exactly IS your Evil Plan, Shan-Yu?"

Shan-Yu goes into one of his 'explaining moods'. "Well, I'm planning to arrive at the emperor's palace and beat the cr-p outta him. Then I will control China, and then Asia, and then the ENTIRE WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

He runs around in pathetic circles, laughing manically.

Mulan raises an eyebrow. "Cool. So, I'll just catch up with the army and tell 'em that?"

"Yep", answers Mushu.

"Okay. Hey, Shan-Yu! Want a ride?"

"Sure. Can # 3, 11, 12 and 18 come too?"

"But of course they can. Just get into my Very Groovy Car."

They all – included Mushu – get into Mulan's Very Groovy Car and drive away. In the same second as they disappear behind some trees, the Director shows up. (Yay! The Director's back!)

"I just don't understand this!" exclaims the Director, and waves his hands, very frustrated. "First, my bike disappears and I look for it for ages. Then, when I finally give up, my Very Groovy Car's gone too! There must be some kleptomaniac around..."

He leaves again, looking very confused.

"Poor guy", says Hun # 9.

"He really doesn't deserve this", agrees Hun # 22.

"You think we should tell him the truth?" wonders Hun # 21.

Pause.

"Naaahhhhhh!" say all of the Huns.

Mulan stops the Very Groovy Car. "Okay guys, I think you should walk from here. It does not look too good if I give you a ride and the others see it."

"You're right", agrees Shan-Yu. "Thanks for the ride!"

"No prob."

She leaves Shan-Yu and Hun # 3, 11, 12 and 18 at the side of the road and catches up with the rainbow-coloured bus.

Ling looks out of the bus window. "Hey, look at that Very Groovy Car!"

Yao gets a thoughtful expression. "I think that there's something familiar with the driver...?"

"It's Ping!" exclaims Chien-Po.

"You're right, he's back!" says Ling.

"No, he's not", says Soldier # 32.

Chien-Po frowns. "What do you mean, 'he's not'? There he is! Are you blind?"

"I meant that he isn't back, 'cause Ping's a girl, remember? If you said that she's back I wouldn't mind, but you're wrong when you say that he's back."

"Nag, nag, nag", sighs Yao. "Shit the same... Okay, she's back. Happy?"

"Yeah."

Mervyn brakes and they all walk out of the bus. Mulan's outside in her Very Groovy Car. "Hey guys! Missed me?"

"Well, actually –" starts Shang.

"No, we haven't missed you", interrupts Chi Fu (who else?). "Did you really think we'd miss somebody who hasn't paid their debt to the library? Hey, wait a minute. What're you doing here, you should be in that small and uncomfortable house listening to Spice Girls!"

"Well, thanks to my courage, presence of mind and super-high intelligence, I escaped."

Chien-Po's eyes widen. "Really? Wow."

Ling shakes his head. "'Wow' is not the right word. 'Amazing' would be better. No one has escaped the Spice Girls before!"

"You should be really proud of yourself, Pi... Mulan", says Yao.

Everyone except Chi Fu congratulate Mulan. She seems to enjoy it but at last she interrupts their 'hurrahs'.

"Listen boys, I really appreciate this, but, I have something important to tell you", she says.

"What?" asks Shang.

"Ehh... oh shit, I forgot."

"Had it something to do with the Director?" asks Mervyn.

"Or with Swedish crowns?" asks Shang.

"Or with Very Groovy Cars?" asks Soldier # 4.

"Or with Baby Spice?" asks Ling.

"Um, no... oh yes, I remember", exclaims Mulan. "It's about that Shan-Yu guy. He has an Evil Plan and I'm here to warn you."

"Okay, so what is his Evil Plan?" wonders Mervyn.

"He'll arrive at the emperor's palace and beat the cr-p outta him, and then he will control China, and then Asia, and then the ENTIRE WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

She runs around in pathetic circles, laughing manically.

Soldier # 10 raises one hand, as if to ask a question. "Eh... is that a part of the plan? The running and laughing, I mean."

Mulan stops running and laughing. "Well, that's what he did when I asked him about his Evil Plan."

Shang raises his eyebrows. "... you asked him about his Evil Plan?"

Mulan shrugs. "How else was I supposed to know about it? Steal his diary? I can see it before me: 'Dear diary, here is my Evil Plan for World Domination. First, I will –'"

"I think that, what the captain means, is that you shouldn't just talk to Shan-Yu like that. After all, he is our enemy", interrupts Mervyn.

Mulan decides to defend the Bad Guy. "Oh, c'mon, he's not that bad. When you get to know him, he's a really nice guy. And the other Huns are good too. When I met them, they were watching Titanic. Pretty sensitive guys, they cried when Jack froze to death."

"You saw the Huns watch Titanic and cry when one of the main characters dies", says Shang slowly in an establishing tone.

"Hey, what's wrong with that?" says Yao, offended. "I always cry when I watch that scene."

"Yeah, but you cry for anything. You cried while watching Chip 'n' Dale, remember?" Ling reminds him.

"But Donald Duck was so mean! He tried to run over them with that toy train!" whines Yao.

"Oh no. That would be a horrible catastrophe. Ancestors forbid", says Soldier # 24 sarcastically.

"I have a feeling that you don't take this too seriously."

"Actually, you're right. I don't take cartoons very seriously."

"But this count as a cartoon too, remember?" says Mervyn.

"You know, he's got a point there", agrees Soldier # 1.

Soldier # 24 thinks about it for a while. "You know what? You're right. This is a cartoon."

Chien-Po rolls his eyes. "Well, good thinking, smartass. Congratulations."

Soldier # 24 beams. "Thank you!"

Shang clears his throat. "H-rm. How 'bout leaving Chip 'n' Dale and concentrate on Shan-Yu? Mulan, you sure of that Evil Plan of his?"

"Oh yes. Perfectly sure."

"He didn't mention anything about HOW he's going to arrive at the emperor's palace? I mean, like, hidden in an artificial dragon or so?"

"Hidden in an artificial dragon? Are you nuts? He'd never do that, it isn't his style. He'd hide in a daffodil rather than in a dragon. Hey, that'd be a sight – Shan-Yu disguised as a daffodil..."

Everyone tries to imagine Shan-Yu disguised as a daffodil.

"Hmm... Interesting", establishes Yao.

Ling raises his eyebrows. "Really? I think it's scaring."

"Okay, let's keep our eyes open for daffodils while in the city", orders Shang.

"K, boss!" shouts the army.

Well, what do you think of this chapter? If English isn't your first language and you don't know what a daffodil is, it's a kind of flower. And don't forget about the yarn bracelets!

I will update as soon as possible.