Let's just forget about the yarn bracelets. A relative of mine took 'em to a flea market without knowing I wanted to keep them. But I earned quite much money...

One of my friends discovered a huge mistake I've made in chapter 9. I wrote: "G O I: No no no! (stamps on the stereo. The music stops)". Of course it should've been: "G O I: No no no! (stomps on the stereo. The music stops)". Stomps, not stamps. In Sweden, "stampa" means "stomp". Oops. My bad. Ha ha ha.

Time for school again, that's why I haven't updated.

I do not own Lord of the Rings, but I guess you can figure that out all by yourself.

Chapter 10 – We're in the wrong movie? Are you kidding me, man?

The Chinese army continue their journey against the Imperial City. Mulan's going after them in the Very Groovy Car. Suddenly...

Soldier # 9: Hey look! There's a sign!

Actually, there is a sign at the side of the road. It says: "If you're heading for the Imperial City, you're going the wrong way, twits!"

Chi Fu: Well, at least it's a clear message. Turn around, Mervyn!

Ling: No, wait! What if this is a trick of the Huns?

Chien-Po: Of course; they want us to believe what's written on the sign and turn around, so they can reach the Imperial City first!

Yao: That's it! They're trying to deceive us, but they won't succeed! I don't think we should turn around, captain.

Shang: I like the way you think, soldier! C'mon Mervyn, forward!

Mervyn: Yes, sir!

So, the army continues their journey on the road. After about half an hour, they reach a valley that doesn't look very nice. Very ugly figures are cutting down trees and throwing them into a big hole in the ground. A guy with a long beard and a black stick with a white rock in the end walk around and inspect the work. Everybody's sucking up to him. In the middle of the valley, there's a black tower that looks pretty inhospitable.

Mulan: I REALLY don't think that this is the Imperial City.

Mervyn: I REALLY think you're right.

Chi Fu: See? I told you that we should've turned around at that sign, but nooooo, you wouldn't listen! "Don't listen to the silly council, his brain is as empty as an empty bucket! He's always wrong, let's continue forward instead of doing as he says and turn arou–"

Shang: Okay okay we get the message! How 'bout just asking where we are and then try to find the way that actually leads to the emperor?

Yao: Sounds good enough.

The Chinese people walk down to one of the ugly figures. Shang taps him on the shoulder.

Shang: Excuse me, gentleman, but could you tell us where we are? We're lost.

Ugly figure: Why I don't know, I'm just doing a very simple job in a very disgusting costume for a very small payment.

Mulan: That sounds very boring.

Ugly figure: Yeah. If you have some questions, ask our boss over there.

The ugly figure points to the guy with a beard.

Ugly figure: But watch out for that stick of his! If you do something he doesn't like, he'll hit you with it.

Chien Po: That doesn't sound very nice.

The guy with a beard and a stick have noticed the Chinese people by now and walks up to them.

Guy With A Beard And A Stick: What're you doing here? We're trying to make a movie, if you want to be with you gotta wear costumes!

Soldier # 20: But we're already working with a movie!

Soldier # 3: Yeah, we're doing Mulan.

Guy With A Beard And A Stick: Really? In that case, you're at the wrong place (AN: Hey, that rhymed!). We're doing The Fellowship of the Ring. I'm Saruman, pleased to meet you.

Saruman enthusiastically (VERY enthusiastically!) shakes hands with Ling.

Ling (voice vibrating): Hi-i-i-i-i I'm Li-i-i-i-ing.

Shang saves Ling by putting his face about two inches from Saruman's nose and presenting himself.

Shang: I'm Shang, captain of the chinese army.

Saruman: Good to see you too!

After Saruman's shaken hands with everyone at least twice, they go and have tea on the roof of the black tower, called Orthanc (AN: I really hope I spelled that right...). They all get very tired walking the stairs.

Mulan: How... pooh... long... pooh... do we... pooh... have... pooh... left?

Saruman: Not much, just about 400 steps.

Shang: Well, that's good to know...

When they at last reach the roof, they notice a guy dressed in grey. He's speaking to some kind of butterfly but let go of it when Saruman and the others enter the roof.

Saruman: This is Gandalf. He's a prisoner. Hey Gandie, this is the chinese army! They're doing Mulan and were heading for the imperial city, but then they got lost, and here they are.

Gandalf: How do you do?

Mervyn: How do you do... why aren't you in a dungeon or something? That's where people usually hide prisoners.

Gandalf: Actually, Saruman wanted to put me in a dungeon, but I said I wanted to be at the roof. The view is more interesting here.

Mervyn: But there is no railing here! What if you fall down?

Gandalf: But that is the excitement! You have to take some risks in life, you know.

Mervyn: I see.

Saruman: Scones, anyone?

Gandalf: Well, I'd like some –

Saruman: Not you, you're a prisoner. You don't count.

Gandalf: Hrmf.

All of a sudden, a big eagle appears.

Gandalf: At last! What took you so long?

Eagle: I was playing golf when your little butterfly arrived and I didn't want to quit playing at the 11:th hole just because of some stupid wizard who let himself be captured as easy as... as... Well, I don't know. Besides, I got an eagle on hole 6. You get it? An eagle! Ha ha ha!

Gandalf: Ha ha, very funny. Would you please rescue me now? I must get to the Shire and warn that little jerk Frodo before it's too late.

Gandalf tries to climb the eagle's back but loses his balance and falls down.

Gandalf: AAAAAAAAAGGGgggggghhhhhhh...... ouch!

Eagle: Oopsie Daysie.

Shang (with a pale face): Eh... how about leaving this place and set for the capital now?

Soldier # 9 (gulps): Uh huh.

Chi Fu: Well, thanks for the tea, mr. Saruman. And it was very nice to see your... ehm... lovely garden.

Saruman: Any time, mr. Chinese.

The Chinese people climb the stairs down to the ground, get into the bus and drive away. Saruman waves to them from the roof of the black tower.

Soldier # 7: Nice guy.

Ling: Yeah, it was fun, except for that guy who fell down.

Mervyn: Think of it this way; he liked to take risks.

Ling: Hm.

How did you like this chapter? I'm slightly doubtful myself. Not the best chapter so far, but it works. Please review!