Hello everyone! Sorry for taking so long, but I've been very busy lately. You see, me and my class have been setting up a theatre play called Duality, and there've been so much work around it… But it went out fabulous! After Duality, school ended, and I went to a confirmation camp where I was a leader for two weeks. After that, I've been separated from my beloved computer for months because my "dear" parents wanted us to live in our summer cottage. And then, I started at Umeå university.

After a certain review from Zimmie, I've decided to change my way of typing the AN:s. I will now only put a number between parentheses, and explain the numbers in the end of the chapter.

Hey, Sometimes I'm nervous if my grammar is correct, so if anyone wants to be my beta-reader, I'd be very grateful. Thank you!

I'm writing this chapter on a brand new computer! My first computer that I don't have to share with my sisters (or anyone else). Yay!

Chapter 15: Our afternoon-tea is gone? Are you kidding me, man?

Shang has been trying to help Mulan with her, eh, problem involving the enchanted toilet paper from Hogwarts. Unfortunately, he didn't succeed, so Mulan must return to the army with a red and white ass.

"Hey, author!" shouts Mulan. "Do you have to scream it out to all the readers? That's a PERSONAL AREA, for crying out loud!"

Sorry, but look at it this way; no one in this fanfic will see your ass anyway – you're wearing pants for crying out loud! – and they most certainly won't read what I wrote ten seconds ago, so they will have no clue about what's happened to your butt.

"Hrmf."

Anyway, when Shang and Mulan get back, they see the whole army standing around a red laptop with the little Apple symbol on it (Apparently, it has appeared out of nowhere, just like everything else in this pointless story), laughing their lungs out (1). When they look up and see Mulan, they laugh even worse.

Meanwhile, Shang, Mervyn and the others are making themselves ready to fight their way out of the optician's house.

"Ling, you ready?"

"F' course, Shang."

"Yao?"

"Yup, pretty boy."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

"Thanks, captain."

"Chien-Po?"

"Aye."

"Mervyn?"

"Uh huh."

"The rest of you?"

"Yes, sir."

"Splendid! On the count of three. One… two… THREE!"

Chien-Po kicks the door open, and they all rush out.

Shan-Yu and his huns are having their afternoon-tea. Hun # 12 has made cucumber sandwiches, and Hun # 12 has searched the whole town after the very best Earl Grey.

Shan-Yu stretches out his little finger, as if he's got class or something. "Excellent sandwiches, # 12."

"Thanks, master."

Right then, the Chinese army rushes in, grabs the tea and sandwiches and rushes out again. The huns stare after them.

"What the heck was that?" asks Hun # 11.

"Well, it did look like the Chinese army, but they're in the cellar, so it can't have been them", answers Shan-Yu. His men agree to that.

"But where did our afternoon-tea go?" wonders Hun # 18.

"Maybe it wasn't here at all!" exclaims Hun # 3. "Maybe it all was our imagination! Maybe…"

"Oh no, he's getting philosophical again", moans Shan-Yu. "Please stop him before we all die from monotony."

Hun # 11, 12 and 18 tie Hun # 3 to a chair and put a muzzle on him. He gives them angry looks.

"Ah ah, don't give us those angry looks, man", says Hun # 18. "We won't let you go." What he really means, but doesn't dare to say, is: "Don't look at me like that, it gives me the creeps (2)."

Meanwhile, the army's on its way back to the palace, while having the huns' afternoon-tea. Suddenly, Mervyn comes to think of something. "Hey, we forgot to get some glasses!"

"Yeah", answers Shang, "but it's quite impossible to get some, 'cause Shan-Yu's the optician and he's our enemy, so if we asked him to help us he'd probably give us some wrong grinded ones."

"I still can't understand how he could trick us with a pair of sunglasses and a fake moustache", mutters Soldier # 14.

"Talking about strange clothes", says Mulan, "what the hell are you wearing, Shang?"

Shang looks down and discovers that he's still dressed in his Hogwarts robe with the earthworm. "Oh. Eh… Well, you see, when I was looking for some toilet paper for you, I ended up in a strange castle full of weird people with wooden sticks, and they gave me this uniform because the magical hat said I was a Wuddlyfoofie."

Everyone blink simultaneously.

"I just knew that he'd lose it one day", says Yao. "I've seen the signs."

"Shall we take him to the hospital now or after we've saved the emperor?" asks Ling.

"Afterwards", suggests Chi Fu. "He's not that important anyway."

"Well, I can agree to that…" starts Mulan, but gets interrupted by Shang. "Hey!"

"… but just because you said it, we'll go to the hospital right now."

"Yay!" shouts the army.

Soldier # 10 points to a poster on a notice-board. "Look at that! 'Has your friend lost their mind? Doctor Chun Tin can fix it for you! 625 Mental Illness Road.' That's what I call luck!"

"625 Mental Illness Road it is then!" exclaims Mulan. "Er… got a map, anyone?"

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If Amanda, Frida, Erika, Anna or Johanna are reading this, hello! Please leave a review, you just click on the little purple button down and to the left and follow the instructions.

(1): Not literally, of course. That would look kinda gross, wouldn't it? I'd have to change this story to at least T…

(2): I just love that word! "Creepy" and "the creeps", they're wonderful! "Whatever" and "What so ever" are splendid too…

I've decided to respond to your reviews! Though I'll start with the ones which are about chapter 14, I don't have the energy to respond to those before that.

Mess531y: I'm glad you liked it! I hoped that including Harry Potter would get someone to laugh… ;) I read your profile, and noticed that you've put this story on your favourite stories list. I jumped up and down in joy!

Zimmie: Thank you for pointing out what you think could be better. You make me a better writer!

Megan: Well, sooner or later… Though I don't think it'll happen in another three or four chapters or so.

Diana(a.k.a. "wuddlyfoofie"): Thank you! I love when people think this story's funny!

Mary: Jane Austen, eh? Well, maybe… never thought about that. I like Jane Austen, I really do, I read Pride and Prejudice one year ago or so, and Emma a few weeks later. You see, the problem with J. A. is that she isn't as famous as Robin Hood, LotR or Harry Potter. When I borrow people from other books/movies etc. I try to take famous ones that the readers will recognize. But you never know… And yes, I translate it all into English. Sometimes I get frustrated by not being able to post it in Swedish (though I could, but not many would read it), but at the same time I know that by writing in English I learn more, plus I get contact with people all around the world, which I think is kinda cool.

Tinemelk: Thank you!

Water-star: I feel proud. Thank you so much.

I know that this chapter isn't very good, but I've got a touch of writer's block… Please help me, if you've got some ideas!

Idun