It had been a battle to get to the stage where Jenny could retreat to her bedroom, close the door and sink into the mattress. But she didn't want to dwell on it, because any thoughts of that nature were liable to keep her mind whirring and thus awake, and that is definitely the last thing she wanted.
She decided to try and meditate to help her quiet her thoughts and prepare herself for sleep. She scooted over to the headboard and placed a pillow beneath her hips, and then she swung her legs up so they were resting on the wall above her bed. She adjusted another pillow so her head was comfortably supported.
Laying her arms out to the side she turned her palms up and closed her eyes, picturing a white sandy beach with a gentle tide lapping at the shore. She guided herself deeper into the imagery, imagining she could taste the tang of the salt air as she breathed. She noted the demarcation of the sand where the water had rushed to greet it before pulling away.
It reminded her of the beach they had visited the first time she had seen Julian in her dreams. The thought came to her that she had dreamed of that scene earlier in the week. This led to Jenny once again re-enacting that amazing kiss they had shared, entwined in each other's arms as they swayed to the music. Thoughts of that nature did anything but help Jenny get sleepy so with a frustrated sigh she got out of her position and sat on the edge of the bed, racking her brain for a solution.
She decided to run a warm bath, light some candles and listen to classical music while having a nice soak. As she got up to go into the bathroom her little brother knocked on the open door.
"What's up?" she asked.
"Wanna play a game?"
She absently wondered if she would ever again be able to hear the word "game" and not immediately feel a chill. Jenny thought about it for a moment before deciding that perhaps this was the distraction she needed to wear herself out.
"I win!" her brother crowed a few hours later.
As they cleaned up the last of the board games Jenny realized that although she had definitely not gotten worn out as quickly as she would have liked she had enjoyed herself immensely. Her brother had a sharp mind and a developing sense of humor that kept Jenny entertained.
Saying goodnight after another race up the stairs she went into the bathroom and ran the water for a bath. She added some bubble bath for good measure before turning away to brush her teeth and pick out some music while waiting for the tub to fill.
She gently lowered herself into the mass of bubbles and tipped her head back, letting a long sigh escape as she reveled in the feeling of the water's heat working its way deep into her muscles. This week had been pretty hellacious and while she was overwhelmingly grateful to have it over and done with a part of her couldn't help but feel a little bit sad upon recognizing that this was the last time she would ever take final exams at her high school.
Feeling melancholy was definitely not the way she wanted to encourage herself to feel. Instead she was supposed to be preparing herself to see Julian again…but maybe melancholy was the way to go, she mused. She knew that she never felt as tired as she did when she was depressed or under a lot of stress so maybe she could just let the reality of her situation sink in for a bit and that would do wonders for her energy level.
She was desperate to fall asleep and see Julian again and as such was open for any and all suggestions her mind produced. She knew she couldn't just sit there thinking about Julian because if she did then tired would definitely not be the emotion she stirred up. The simple act of thinking about him did wonders for her blood pressure. Take for instance a random observation about his eyes.
Jenny always felt inept when it came to describing Julian's beauty. She never felt like she found the appropriate words. The shocking blue stare that confronted her time and again never failed to take her breath away. But it was when she found that gaze saturated with desire while penetrating her own that she became a bit light-headed and more than a bit something else altogether.
The mere memory of that look of longing sent Jenny's heart beat into overdrive, the exact opposite of her intended goal. With a loud sigh she renewed her quest to fall asleep and returned to her former train of thought. Where was she? Oh yes, reality in all its tedium.
When they had returned to school after Summer's disappearance she had noticed how much attention had been focused on her group of friends. She had naively assumed that attention would dissipate with Summer's return and yet its opposite seemed to be true. But as she soaked in the tub she realized that it was a long time gone since she had spent time with a group of people outside their little septet.
Sure there had been the odd party here and there but those had not been attended without the other members of their little cult group. But whereas once that realization would have caused a near panic attack wherein she would have wrestled with her own likeability for days…she now just shrugged it off.
Once she had thought that she needed to have tons of friends, be surrounded by people who adored her in order to be truly happy. She had envisioned contentment as a life lived with a myriad of options in the friends department, one in which she could go out with someone different every night of the week for a month and never see the same person twice.
Jenny almost laughed aloud at the dramatic 180° transformation her perceptions had undergone. Now she defined a happy life as one with her friends, family, and of course Julian. As long as she remained friends with Dee, Audrey, Summer, Tom, Michael and Zach she'd never lack for companionship. As long as she held her family close she'd always know the value of acceptance. And as long as she had Julian…
Not that she had actually had Julian as of yet, mind you.
Oh dear. Just like that her mind had gone straight to the bad place once again. Not that thoughts of that nature were bad as in wrong. They were bad as in severely distracting. But that was Julian in a nutshell…severely distracting.
If he were there in front of her he'd undoubtedly smirk at her for getting distracted with thoughts of him so easily…
But then again…
If he were there in front of her…
Oh my…the wicked thoughts seemed to trip over each other in their haste to fill up every available crevice in her brain.
What would she do if he suddenly appeared in front of her?
Her cheeks flushed as she realized she would probably first be embarrassed. Why was she having such difficulties getting herself sleepy tonight? Why was she so preoccupied with all these thoughts that were guaranteed to make her anything but tired?
It was probably just all that anticipation, she told herself. So she decided that instead of fighting it she should just give in. Maybe if she did her mind would get bored (not likely, she snorted) and she could go to sleep quicker. But she felt very self-conscious and more than a bit insecure. She really didn't have much experience conjuring up lust-ridden fantasies. But knowing she was alone gave her the courage to delve deeper into one of the many visions crowding her mind.
First of all Julian would have to be tied up. She giggled aloud at that thought but really, given his propensity for taking control of every situation and rendering her incapable of everything but pure responses…it needed to happen.
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So she imagines that she has just walked into the bathroom to find Julian there, all tied up. He is wearing the navy pajama bottoms from one of their earlier encounters and is seated next to the edge of the bathtub, his arms chained to his sides. He groans audibly when he sees her.
"Jenny," he whispers huskily, "what are you trying to do to me?"
She merely raises an eyebrow and gives him a smile.
"Why do you insist on torturing me like this?" He pulls at the chains and for a moment she thinks he will be able to break free, but they hold fast.
When she is satisfied that they will hold she turns her back to him and slips the multi-colored silk robe off of her shoulders and lets it pool at her feet. She is wearing a black bra and panty set and she proceeds to face Julian again when she hears the sharp intake of breath that accompanies her actions. She gives him another smile as she walks nearer to him and laughs inwardly when he growls low in his throat as she bends over the tub in order to push in the drain and turn on the taps.
"Laugh while you can, because when I get free…"
She turns to look at him with a quizzical expression that carries with it no small amount of amusement.
"Oh yes, Jenny…I will break free. And when I do, no force in heaven or hell will be able to keep me from making you mine."
She takes a moment to savor the sensations that the words cause. He never fails to get her blood pumping hard and fast, and this time it's no exception. She closes the remaining distance between them and decides to push some of Julian's buttons.
Jenny starts by giving him a thorough head-to-toe inspection that leaves Julian wrestling with the chains harder than before. She straddles his lap and barely leans in before he sighs loudly,
"Finally…"
And she kisses him before he can say anything else. And she gives herself over to the kiss and relishes the knowledge that she can touch him, caress him, tease him and please him and he can't distract her with his own plan for seduction.
So she starts with his hair. She takes her time running her fingers through it, curling them into it at the base of his neck. Then she trails one hand down the side of his neck and up to his jaw, which she absently traces while Julian tries to get closer to her without much success.
"Jenny…" he pleads against her mouth. She smiles against his lips.
"Yes?"
"Set me free, Jenny."
She moves her lips to his neck and delights in the gasp that escapes when she nips at his collarbone.
"You're not going anywhere, Julian. It's my turn to play."
She would rather die than tell Julian that she really wants to set him free, that she misses the feel of his hands on her skin. She tries to distract herself from that feeling by placing her hands on the sides of Julian's waist. She traces the lines of his abdomen with her fingers as she kisses his neck and moves down his chest and then in a flash of inspiration she leans back up to kiss him just as she snakes her fingers inside the waistband of his pajama bottoms.
It only lasts a second but she can tell he's never been as surprised as he is in that moment. She opens her eyes to find his boring into hers, as darkened by desire as she's ever seen them.
"Take the chains off me now," he commands in a whisper. Her mouth curves up into a siren's smile and she stands up. The utter shock that takes up residence on Julian's face almost makes Jenny laugh out loud. She shakes her head back and forth.
"No, I don't think so. I'm not sure about you but I could use a little time to cool off. I'm just going to soak here in the tub."
And with that she places one foot just above the surface of the water and then freezes as if she has forgotten that she is still clothed.
"Oh dear. That was pretty silly of me. I'm still partially clothed, aren't I? I guess I should remedy that."
Julian raises an eyebrow in both approval and challenge. She never looks away as she reaches behind herself and unclasps her bra with one hand. His breathing becomes more labored as she alternates her arms, using one to hold her bra to her skin while pulling the other one out of the strap. She winks at him as she stands before him and she can tell he is practically salivating at the thought of getting his hands on her. He opens his mouth to speak but before he says anything a curtain appears in front of Jenny through which she is only visible as a silhouette. She removes the bra and dangles it to her side before dropping it on the floor.
"Oh Jenny…" Julian whispers. He can only watch in rapt fascination as she shimmies out of the panties before slowly lowering herself into the tub.
With the curtain between them, Jenny begins to wash herself. She lifts her arm out of the water and grabs a nearby washcloth. Raising herself to her knees she turns she her profile is facing Julian. Then she runs the washcloth under the tap before squeezing the water out over her chest, the rivulets chasing away the suds.
It's all Julian can do to remember to breathe. But when Jenny's hands follow the water's path he can remain silent no more. He breaks the chains that bind him and stands up.
"Ready or not, here I come."
He reaches out and tears the curtain down.
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Disclaimer: About the only thing I can claim is that I am one slow updater. I do not own LJS' characters, just the plot I've drop-kicked them into.
Author's Note: I'll start by recommending Tanalith Pure's "Harsh Reality" for a good read about the movie Spirited Away. So no one really wants to know why I haven't updated in four months so I'll just say I wish it hadn't happened, I'm sorry it did happen and I hope it will not happen again. Thank you's are so long overdue I am a disgrace to authors everywhere but I mean the thank you's everyday, even when I'm not posting.
CeredwenFlame—So no, I did not update soon. Sorry about that. I will try to do better.
XianThir—WOW! Thanks so much! I really don't deserve that kind of praise but I really appreciate you saying so. Yes you are so right about the things you noticed. Jenny's house is a ranch in the books, no idea what the schools in her neck of the woods would look like but I seem to remember at least some brick from 90210 so that's what I was going off of. What happened to Grandpa Evenson as in what happened in my story, why has he not made an appearance? He's biding his time, just you wait ;-) No, you did not annoy me at all. I like that you put a lot of thought into your critique. Thanks for being so into the series that you want the stories in its fandom to be as in character as possible. And I promise to do what I can about the costume request for Julian….yowza!!!!!!!
Shadow Play 23—I know, no Julian in that last chapter. But he's here now, and he's not going anywhere for a little while so enjoy!
One Feather—I hope that you have not gone insane? That would make me feel bad. Thanks for updating!
Venus Smurf –Don't you apologize to me! Here I sit, like 14 chapters behind on MY updates of YOUR stories [hangs head in shame] I should go crawl under a rock and not come back out. I am with you on the whole Midterms Is A Plot Conceived By Satan and His Many Minions…thankfully I was able to have my finals split up into two weeks or else I really would have been so stressed that I can't imagine ever getting back to any semblance of normal. I wish I had a Julian of my own to keep me going. I would definitely not be complaining much in Jenny's shoes except for, as you pointed out, the whole fragility of their relationship thing.
Hey, don't knock the pre-packaged cookie dough too much…I for one found it to be a lifesaver this past semester. I don't find myself tempted to eat that kind of cookie dough compared to the undeniable temptation to eat the homemade kind. I like to portray Jenny's folks as being supportive…I don't want them to just be set decoration. I'm glad you found the feather-tipped pen to be dramatic and not gay. Man, I can't find enough nice things to say about you, especially given all the nice things you say about me! You are such an integral part of my inspiration. I literally started writing this chapter the second I was done reading your review. I likely would have finished it too had my computer not crashed and been down for many weeks, during which time I despaired of ever finding the parts I'd written intact.
So your vote is not for Tom as the Letter Sender? Okay, I'm keeping a tally. Yes, the whole ability to build the anticipation is definitely one of the reasons I adore Julian and want one of my own (but let's keep that on the d-l so my current relationship does not suffer). I love that you can see so many possibilities in your own questions. Just another sign of the brilliant writer that is you. I literally re-read your reviews anytime I'm having an off day. And then I read them when I'm having an on day just to give me an extra kick!
I don't think I've ever come across a Dee/Tom fic. Are you the first? I can't think of another fic with them as the pairing but I usually shield my eyes from anything not Jenny/Julian related so I am perhaps not as impartial as one would like. Besides, I still think he'd make a better match with Dee just because she'll go out of her way to keep the relationship interesting, and she won't ever let him take her for granted like Jenny did…exactly!!!! I thought that throughout the Books, too.
Yes, I like to think Jenny would still have residual shivers but not really be afraid like she was before. I mean she thinks the letter is from Tom so she may be cold and frightened at the thought that he wants to get back together but she's not thinking she should be scared beyond that….our little girl's growing up. sniff And while I'm absurdly pleased that you enjoy my sense of humor yours is just as well-developed and engaging, to be sure.
You are the only person to comment on the whole "Jenny seeing herself in the dream" thing…cause you're all brilliant and insightful, reading the subtext and whatnot. And yes, I went back to some of my earlier chappies and put in a little break like you suggested to clear up the whole scene shifting thing. Thanks for the suggestion…I hope to get back to all the earlier ones and re-format them! I do not understand teachers and their sadistic methods…It's like in college you can't look off into space and if, god forbid, you look at the teachers themselves during a test then their own sense of paranoia completely takes over and they end up overreacting by asking you what you want in a voice that is so many levels louder than it needs to be. Why is that?
Aww shucks…you have me doing my tomato impression so often I'm thinking I should just say what the heck and get red ink tattooed on my face. I hope this teaser chapter before the reunion was okay. I have this feeling that a lot of people are not going to be happy that I didn't have them hook up more. Cest la vie.
Umm I'm pretty sure that my chapters' lengths are like 1/3 of yours so I'm not really sure why you're thanking me but you're welcome anyway. And thanks for being so understanding about the delays in updating. I love knowing that I have your support.
Trust me, Julian NEVER sounds like a girl…hee hee hee!! I don't know why that made me laugh but there you go.
You make him come alive…would that I could claim that my latent superpowers had finally kicked in and I was in fact able to make him come alive. That would be sweet. I was head over heels for Julian from Book One and thought Jenny was a complete idiot. And I damned LJS for giving me even the tiniest glimpse of the person Julian obviously fell in love with. Because she spent so much of the books being a freak that by the end I dried my tears and resolved to bring that Jenny forth…because I just knew she was in there and could be so interesting to read and I needed to understand why Julian loved her.
I always saw Dee/Tom as one of those "love/hate" couples where they fight, spit nails, tear each other's hair out but ten minutes later they're in the bathroom tearing each other's clothes off as they make up. I'm so glad you're enjoying the way I portray Julian. That you see him as multi-dimensional is just Manna to me. And I still consider myself a freak and weird but thanks for thinking I'm clever…it takes the sting out of my own accusations.
Ah….choosing between the putz and the idiot…the eternal lament of women everywhere.
Now the whole "Julian changing clothes all day" idea…THERE'S a fic I can get behind. Maybe a one-shot. I'm considering it a plot bunny that may someday get written.
And I can't get over how much your reviews mean to me…I am beyond borderline obsessed…I OWN the Country of Obsessed.
Yep, I AM special...special ed, special olympics...ROTFLMAO…good lord you are TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My words only SEEM to come naturally, and I credit my muse with that. Thanks for passing the message along to Sassy, I appreciate it.
I guess I like mail enough to even accept that it could be from a stalker…doesn't speak much about my current state of affairs but then again, maybe I just don't like what it says.
What's amazing to me is that I even HAVE reviews to comment on. I am blown away each and every time I get one.
I'll pass your credit along to my pack of Muses (yes, now there's a pack) because they can be a fickle bunch and I'd hate to see what happens if they think they're not getting their props.
I'm glad you're okay with going into the friends' reactions. I just want this to be nicely well-rounded.
You're totally original, totally awesome, totally wonderful…no doubts about it.
Your faith in me is so awe-inspiring. I'm so grateful that you're out there, I really am. Just knowing that you believe that whatever choices I make will be worth considering is the backbone of the creative process for me.
I like the word 'putz' too. There's just no other word on the planet that can describe certain characteristics as well as that one…Amen.
I'm not the heir apparent to the fanfiction throne, my friend. YOU are! You are, bar none, my favorite author of all time...and that includes people who write for a living! If I'm insightful, it's only because you inspired me first…you're so sweet to say that, really you are. You may also be a touch delusional but that's another matter entirely.
I can't believe that you look forward to my updates more than your own birthday…I'm speechless with that one.
I hope that you're considering doing something with children someday…writing an inspirational book, becoming a counselor, something. You have such a gift for encouragement and support that I feel like I want to share it with the whole world and the next generation in particular…everyone should be so lucky as to have you in their lives, inspiring them, lifting their spirits, and being the light that guides their way.
ShamIAm1—I am in awe that you would consider being late for work to read this story. I don't want you to be sad, I really don't. I am totally bummed that I am killing you with frustration…I hate when I do stuff like that. I'm in a class of my own? Aww blushes shucks. Thanks so much for your words of encouragement!
Shadow—Sorry about having Tom in the story, glad that you at least did not find him TOO pathetic…I'll take it! I hear you as far as computer trouble goes…I just got mine back after being totally sans it for longer than I ever thought I would be and I was so happy I finished typing this chappie in record time. Thanks for checking in!
Michelle—I didn't notice that you spelled your e-mail wrong so don't worry about it…I'm so pleased that you like the story. I can assure you that there are more chapters to come. Thanks for reviewing!
Tanalith Pure—Hi there! Yes, I know so many people hated that Jenny rehashed the break up so much but in real life that's what I do so I wanted her to have a touch of realism…plus how else am I supposed to torture you guys between Jenny and Julian dreams? The Jacuzzi will make an appearance soon!
Dusty—Well thanks! Glad to see you're liking the story. Yes, more Julian goodness is on the horizon for sure. Thanks for reviewing!
Fluorescein—Your regret is my regret as well. I would love to update more often, I really would. All I can say is that I will try to do so. And you're a delectable dish for reviewing!
kiyana-ayame—Glad to hear college is going well for you. I'm with you, anyone would be thrilled to see Julian again, that's for sure. I really will try to update more frequently. Thanks for reading (and re-reading!) and reviewing!
Skyfire4—Well thanks! You are so sweet for saying that! Yes, my alarm clock has interrupted too many great dreams, sigh.Thanks for your kind words!
Saxonny—I just bet the stuff you're not allowed to post here would leave me absolutely breathless! And btw, ROTFLMAO…your characters are total whores? Good god I laughed so hard when I read that!!!! I'm happy to plug you, you're terrific!
Saxonny—Yeah, so they are still not together…sorry about that. And sorry that you're reading at work…though I find it does lend a sort of pleasant illicit pleasure to fanfic when I'm technically getting paid to read it. You're so fabulous for reviewing!
ArchAngel pixxistixx4me—I hope your inbox is not lonely….maybe you didn't read this for a while and your inbox got to hold onto the message? Sorry you felt like the last chapter was rushed. I hope that this is not the case for this chapter? I'm so glad I'm able to make Tom less disgusting in this fic. My life is complete…well my life will be complete when I get a Julian of my own. And I promise to take your preferences for Julian's attire (or lack thereof, as the case may be wink) into consideration for the next chapter. I am very honored to have been given permission to use The Shamrock, so thank you. I'm not gonna peach you for not having Holidays updated, so fear not my friend. I hope finals went well. Thanks for being the light in my Inbox today!
Amber Evans Potter—I'm hoping that this chapter made at least 2/3 of you guys happy? (I'm not sure if Amber woke up yet) I'm pretty sure at least Jenny should be happy….getting to tease Julian in something akin to the way that he teases her….and the rest of us! I hope that helps convince you I only want you with him, Jenny? It's hands off for me, hands on for you! I missed you guys too, for sure. I hope to update so much more frequently! Thanks for being so patient!!!! I wish I could reward you!
AnitaBlake1414 - vice president of the FANCLUB!—Sweet! I'm so sorry that the neighbors think you're insane! I absolutely love love love my purple sparkly trobbit and I have named him Olesko after my editing teacher. I'm so pleased that you're enjoying the story…thanks so much for promoting it to your friends…that is too sweet! I'm sure LJS would blow me out of the water with her version of this storyline but I appreciate the thought, you really are too nice. Tell your friend who said she feels like she can almost touch the characters thanks for the compliment…it keeps me going. Thanks so much for writing!!!!
melissarxy1—And this update was also nowhere near soon….sigh. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story, sorry there's not enough Julian…but is there ever? Nope! Not as far as I'm concerned. Thanks so much for checking in and not forgetting about me!