Title: Unrequited (4 of ?)Rating: at the moment PG, or whatever ffn's equivalent isContent: sap, angst
Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters mentioned herein, and no disrespect meant
Summary: Lita is falling. Will someone catch her?
A/N: Sorry this took so long, I've been mad busy. Hope you like!

The next night was quieter, this time not fuelled by alcohol. This was fuelled by their mutual friendship and respect, by a jointly painful hangover, and by Lita's frequent mood swings. One minute she was almost happy, the next something reminded her of recent events, and she was down and close to tears again. Randy knew that alcohol often served to magnify these swings in temper, and hoped that a sober night might help somewhat.

It did, a little, if only because Lita did a good job of avoiding talking about how she was feeling. She knew it was unfair on Randy, but she said very little, relying on him to understand.

He did. He didn't quite understand how he could just look at the redhead and know how she was feeling, but he did, and it broke his heart a little each time because he couldn't do anything about it. It scared him but at the same time it reassured him because if he was the only one that understood, then maybe there was a connection there, and maybe one day she would realise.

He knew it would be a long time until that happened though. She was so absorbed in her own situation that he wasn't entirely sure that she even saw him as him. He felt sometimes as if he was just a faceless friend, that she didn't actually want to be with him, that she just wanted someone who would unconditionally support her. And he would. He would support her, no matter what she thought, no matter how she saw him, because that if that was the closest he could get to her, he'd accept it. Maybe, one day, when her problems were dealt with, she'd look at him and realise. And maybe she'd feel the same.

Randy wasn't sure that it was a good idea, but on the last night before they had to fly out, Lita insisted on going out clubbing. In fact, he was convinced that it was a bad idea, although he did doubt his own motives somewhat: was it a bad idea, or did he just not want to share her company with anyone else?

Either way, she got her own way, just as she always did, and by ten that evening they were on the dance floor, already pretty drunk and having a good time. Randy didn't particularly enjoy dancing usually, but he did enjoy watching Lita. She would lose herself in the music, completely oblivious to everyone and everything. He thought that was probably the point: on the dance floor she was both anonymous and the centre of attention. She was everything that they said and nothing. She was herself and she was no one.

She wasn't his though. It made it hard to watch, and harder to stay away. When another man approached her, and she danced with him, or turned him away, Randy had to remind himself that she wasn't his, that she could do whatever she liked, and that he could at most protect her.

She was kissing another man. She was wrapped around him, oblivious. Oblivious to Randy, oblivious to the hurt that he couldn't stop crossing his face, oblivious to everything. He watched while trying not to, the images hurting beyond words but at the same time strangely captivating; wishing it could be him. He wanted to be the one to run his fingers through her hair, to kiss her like that, to touch her like that. He knew what she was searching for, and knew that he could give that to her, if only she would let him.

The man now had her hand in his, and was leading her towards the exit. She looked back at Randy, biting her lip, eyes pleading for an escape. She didn't want this. She'd just wanted to be wanted for a few minutes. She didn't want this man. She didn't want to be what they called her. She wanted to prove them wrong. She wanted to be loved and needed but on her own terms. Not with this man.

Randy nodded and followed. As always, he understood. When Lita and the man had got outside the redhead pulled away from him.

"I'm going home now." Her voice betrayed a fear. Not a fear of him, a fear of what she was, or what she might become, of what she'd lost and what she might lose.

"Not until you finish what you started." The man was drunk, but menacing. There was no missing the implied meaning of his words.

"She's going home now." Randy echoed her words, with much more force behind them. "Come on Li."

She pulled her hand from his and quickly walked over to Randy. He immediately put a protective arm around her shoulder.

The man cursed, and shook his head, "prick-tease. Don't know what I'd catch off the dirty slut anyway. You're welcome to her."

Randy pulled her closer, knowing what effect those words would have, and gently led her away, hailing a cab. He didn't let go of her until they got back to her home. He didn't trust himself to speak without betraying his feelings and she wasn't in any state to talk at that point. The man's words had cut deeper than he could ever know.

Once home, he led her to the kitchen, knowing that it would be a long night and that he'd need coffee. Everything that had happened had sobered him up, and her too by the sound of it. She looked up at him, never more ashamed or disgusted with herself as now.

"I'm sorry Randy," her words were whispered and low, broken tears thinly veiled within them.

He touched her chin with one finger, forcing her to look at him, "why are you sorry angel? He was an asshole. No one should treat a lady like that."

"That's it though, isn't it? I'm no lady." She averted her eyes, not wanting to see his sympathy when she didn't believe she deserved it, "I am everything they say I am."

"You're not Li, you're not."

"I am." She shook her head, "why did I do that? I didn't even know him, I certainly didn't like him… and I relied on you to rescue me. Just like you rescue me each day… every time I'm down, you're there for me. Every time I get myself into a bad situation, you're there for me. And what do I do in return? I treat you like shit, I do all this and it's all about me."

"Li, you're hurting, and people do stuff when they're hurt that they wouldn't usually do. You're my best friend Li, and if I didn't support you and help you at times like this, what sort of friend would I be?"

"You never talk about how you feel. I never ask you about how you feel. I'm so wrapped up in me, I can't see beyond my own feelings. I've been so self absorbed I really don't know what's going on for you." Lita walked over to the sink, splashing some cold water on her face. She turned and looked at Randy. "Why do you do this Randy? All of my friends have found reasons to not call, to not be interested, why are you always here for me?"

He stared at her, willing up the courage to tell her how he felt, and wanting her to stop this, to not question, to just accept it. In one way he wished that she would understand him as well as he understood her, and in another he hoped that she didn't understand, because he didn't want her to know.

She realised, all of a sudden, "you love me." It wasn't said with any malice, glee or excitement. It was just a statement. She realised how oblivious she'd been, she realised how much she'd missed, how she'd been so absorbed in her own feelings that she'd completely ignored his.

"I always have." He couldn't say any more. He forgot the coffee, forgot their conversation, forgot everything, and walked off to his room. He couldn't face her. He couldn't face the pity, the guilt, the sadness and betrayal that he'd see on her face. He didn't want her to pity him, he didn't want her to feel guilty about how he felt, or sad, or betrayed. He wanted her to love him, but if she was unable to do that, he wanted to remain friends. How that would happen now, with this between them, he didn't know, but anything would be better than nothing.

She followed him, "Randy, we need to talk about this." He shook his head, but she was persistent, "I've been blind, please Randy, let me talk to you about this." He didn't assent, but he did leave the door open and sat down on the bed. She sat at his side.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"How could I?" He looked at her, and she was shocked by the hurt on his face. "How could I tell you when you were still hurting over Matt and Edge? How could I tell you when you were so unhappy? I just wanted to help you, to care for you… it was about the closest I could get and I accepted that. It was enough to just be with you."

"What if it's not enough for me?" She leaned over and kissed him, gently. For one moment he allowed himself to feel, and then pulled away.

"You're not thinking straight Li. Go to bed, we'll talk in the morning." He caressed her cheek regretfully. "You're right, I do love you. But, if you feel differently, I'm willing to just stay friends. You need to think about stuff. So do I. Goodnight, Li." As much as he wanted to hold her and kiss her and be with her, he couldn't. Not like this.

She was reluctant to leave things as they stood, but smiled a little, understanding him more clearly than she had in a while, and stood up. "You're right. 'Night Randy. Sleep well."

Sleeping well was something that neither of them would do that night though.