A/N: Okay, I'll end this story here. This chapter won't be based on reality, but my dreams.

Disclaimer: Don't even ask! You already know the answer.

Whispers In A Storm

I'm tired. So very tired. I haven't slept for three days now. No matter how much I tried, I still couldn't forget her. And believe me, I tried! Really! Food, games, joking … nothing was able to even cloud the memory of her. Yes, that's all I have left of her. A blurry memory, nothing more. I remember … or at least I think I remember, we used to be friends. Close ones. So close it almost seemed as if we were lovers. I remember she used to smile at me. I used to smile. She used to laugh. Now I can't laugh anymore. She used to be dark, pessimistic and depressed. Now I am everything she was.

I wonder how was she able to live like this for as long as she did. I guess not knowing what happiness all your life is a lot better, than knowing happiness and then losing it. I've made my peace with her long ago. I've abandoned all hopes.

Still, I wonder how could I get to this point? The last few years seem to be so chaotic, no meaning in anything I've done. I've fallen in love, loved, got rejected. I was broken. I hurt myself, I cut myself. I've bled so many times, I've wasted so many nights, crying into the pillows while my love was kissing someone else. I've wasted my life. I was prepared to give her more than I had ever believed I could, but she didn't need my love, my sacrifices. She didn't need me. No. She DOESN'T need me! Nobody does.

Hopelessly, I'll love you endlessly!

Hopelessly, I'll give you everything!

But I won't give you up!

And I won't let you down!

And I won't leave you falling,

If the moment ever comes.

Music yells at me in my room, almost deafening me to everything else. Almost. It can't block out my thoughts of her, and the more I listen to the lyrics the more I fall into the shadowy depression that has become my second home. You wouldn't recognize me. Even I get scared sometimes when I look into the mirror in the morning. The pale skin, cold eyes, messy hair. Yeah, I've changed quite a lot. Everything has changed.

Yet in the same everything's the same as before. We're still a team. Rae and Robin are still going out, just as months ago. I'm still cutting myself. But there is something … I can't really tell what … but there's a dark cloud filling our hearts now. We talk less and less with each other. We no longer celebrate victories. Everything seems to have fallen apart. The thing that made me realize this was the change in Starfire's behavior. I can recall her image from the beginning. Her long red hair, always shining in the sunlight. Her smile that seemed to make every day a happy one. Her cute innocence, the way she struggled to understand the life around her. I guess I can relate to what she has gone through. She was also in love with someone. She was also broken when Robin and Raven started dating. Others haven't noticed, but I saw every now and then small tears appearing in her eyes when she saw them kissing.

I can recall what she used to look like, what she used to do. And I never thought that she could fall into such a deep depression as she did. She spends most of her time inside her room. She's so silent, that it's almost a miracle if she says even one sentence to either of us. She stopped wearing pink clothes, instead she started wearing black ones. She threw away all of her make-up and anything that used to be a part of her happy attitude. She has even started drinking. A lot. She usually comes home drunk late at night. Once I've even found her sleeping in a pool of her own vomit. Poor girl. She's lost it. And when I look at the cuts on my arms I can't help, but think that the two of us are completely the same.

Hide from the mirror – the cracks and the memories

Hide from your family – they won't know you now

For all the holes in our souls host no thrills

Who you were

Was so beautiful

Remember who

Who you were

I'm once again trying to fall asleep. But I know I won't be able to rest tonight either. A plan has taken all my attention. I've finally found a way out of this mess. For both me and Starfire. Probably it won't be the best possible way, but in our current situation there's no better solution. I'm turning around in my bed, curiosity's taking me over again. I have to see it once more. I can't rest until I touch it, until I feel the cold surface, until I imagine the quick pain it'll cause. So I get up and reach under my bed. I search for a while, but soon find what I'm so eagerly looking for I pull out the pistol and start observing it.

Destroy the spineless!

Show me it's real

Wasting our last chance

To come away

Just break the silence!

'Cause I'm drifting away

Away from you

Finally, the time has arrived. Star and me are alone in the tower. I don't know where are the others and I really don't care anymore. It doesn't matter anymore. It'll soon be all over. Just a few more minutes.

I go to her room. The door's open, so I look inside. Star isn't there, so I go up to the roof. After Raven and Robin got together she came here every night to look at the stars. She used to sit quietly on the ground, resting her head on her knees as she huddled. Once again I find her in this position. I come closer and sit down next to her. She doesn't even look at me. We sit this way for several minutes.

"Hi Star." I finally break the silence.

"Hi." a short reply comes. I notice that snow's staring to fall.

"What are you doing here?" I ask a really stupid question. She just sighs.

"Nothing." once again a cold answer. I see that it's hopeless to start a conversation with her.

"Star. I know how you feel. Believe me." I slowly start. Starfire finally shifts her attention to me and I see tears falling from her sad eyes.

"If you want … we can end this … now." I can hardly believe what I'm saying. I know she understands what I'm proposing, but she isn't sure if she heard me right. I can see the confusion in her eyes.

"What do you mean Beast Boy?" she asks me. I pull out the pistol from my pocket and show it to her. It feels as if I was offering her a cake, or giving her a gift. She opens her mouth and wants to say something. Fear and surprise settles on her face and she once again looks deeply in my eyes. I guess she finally understands I'm serious. Deadly serious. A small smile appears on her face and she nods.

Look to the stars

Let hope burn in your eyes

And we'll love

And we'll hope

And we'll die

All to no avail

All to no avail

Now we face each other. I feel the chilling cold as the snow falls heavily, snowflakes cover Star's hair. Somehow I find it cute. I smile at her and she smiles back at me. She holds the pistol in her hand and I see she's still hesitating. Perhaps she's thinking over her life, trying to find a reason not to do this, a reason to live. After a while she finally looks at me.

"Goodbye Beast Boy. Thank you for everything." I hear her weak words and she smiles one last time. I smile back and she raises the gun. She places it right to her head and suddenly pulls the trigger.

She's gone. Forever. She fell down and stopped existing. Everything she had once been, all the words she had said, all those times she had laughed: they are over. Nothing, but a memory. And I know that this will be my fate as well. Soon. I walk to her lifeless body. As I take out the gun from her hand I can still feel her warm body. As if she was alive. But I see that she isn't breathing anymore. I place a small kiss on her cheek. Just for a last goodbye.

And now I'm standing out here in the cold. It's a beautiful night to die. So calm. I put the gun to my head. Just one little movement and it'll all be over. Just pull that trigger. I finally know what was my life. A waste. A waste of energy. All the food I ate, all the words I've said and heard, all the things I bought: all of it was wasted. Now, in the end, it's meaningless. None of it can change what I'm about to do and nothing will change what the others are gonna feel when they find our bodies here. Hmm, I guess I can see the logic in Raven's philosophy. Everything's meaningless. Because in the end you know that none of it really matters.

Should I pull the trigger? I should. And I do…

Birds flying high you know how I feel

Sun in the sky you know how I feel

Reeds drifting on by you know how I feel

It's a new dawn, it's new day, it's a new life for me

And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea you know how I feel

River running free you know how I feel

Blossom in the trees you know how I feel

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me

And I'm feeling good

Dragonflies all out in the sun

You know what I mean, don't you know

Butterflies are all having fun

You know what I mean

Sleep in peace

When the day is done

And this old world is a new world and a bold world for me

Stars when you shine you know how I feel

Scent of the pine you know how I feel

Yeah freedom is mine

And you know how I feel

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's new life for me

And I'm feeling good

Freer than you

Feeling good

A/N: That's all. Thanks for reading.