Wow, some eventful weeks for me... (consult profile for more info on that)

I had some trouble with this chapter, I kept changing my mind about what I really wanted them to do. Lei is apparently as dumb as always. -kicks him-

Made some changes to chapter 3, just a sentence. Also, it's the very last chapter. I had fun and brainaches. Did you? Deep, heartfelt thank you for the reviews everyone! -performs a happy, happy tapdance-

- - -

Bryan woke up just a few hours later. He looked around the room, following his old habit of checking the room for anything unusual before he moved. The greyish light of dawn shone through the gaps in the Venetian blinds, giving the room an almost surreal look. Bryan still felt the weight of Lei's head against his chest.

Ah, yes. Pretty little Lei… a by now far too familiar voice in his head purred. Just makes you want to fuck him again, huh? Well, just wake him up, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to comply.

There was a hint of angered sarcasm in his mental voice. Bryan let his head fall back to the pillow, again looking up at the ceiling. He ignored the voice, instead just enjoying the serenity in the room.

I didn't really like what just happened here, Jake continued, apparently not caring whether Bryan paid attention or not. I didn't like the fact that you pretended I existed, that I was a real person, in front of him. I'm not, you know.

Bryan grinned. The very thought of hearing a voice inside your head claim that it didn't exist was amusing. Until it happened.

He will probably think of it as a sign of weakness. He'll think you've changed, or are changing. Hell, it was a sign of weakness! What the hell were you thinking!

Bryan's smile had already faded away. He looked down on Lei again, as if to check as if he was awake. He then leant back again, barely believing himself that he was about to argue with a mere figment of his imagination.

"I was caught off-guard." He mumbled, feeling ridiculous. "I…"

'Caught off-guard'! The voice boomed inside his head. You almost started to cry like a goddamned GIRL! And your explanation is that you were 'caught off-guard'!

"Shut up." Bryan muttered, crossing his arms under his pillow. "I don't have to explain myself to you."

You're right, you really don't, because I already know every single little 'explanation' you can think of. Guess what, big boy, I don't believe one of them.

"Fuck off."

Make me, Jake replied quickly and laughed loudly. There was something eerie about it. Bryan looked down on Lei again and moved his legs slowly down to the floor. He then pushed Lei's head off his chest. Lei mumbled something, turned around and went back to sleep almost immediately. Bryan ignored him, instead going out into his kitchen, closing the door after him. The smell of old, warm beer reached him. He carelessly swept the table clean of the cans there and sat down by it. He looked out of the window at the city, it too slowly waking up to face another day.

'I know you liked it', Jake mimicked mockingly inside his head. 'You did, you did'! Who were you really talking to in there, Bryan?

Bryan sighed and rested his chin against his hand, looking at the other end of the room. He suddenly grinned.

"No, the question is who was talking."

There was a long, inner silence.

What?

- - -

Lei stretched and yawned, desperately trying to cling to the surge of happiness he got when he woke up alone. He then grimaced at a sudden, throbbing headache. It slowly faded to an uncomfortable, tense sensation behind his eyes. He sat up, happy that he had slept with his clothes on, and reached for a hairbrush on the side of the table. He looked around in the dimly lit room while brushing his hair with long, slow strokes. He felt a mix of several different feelings, disappointment and a strange thrill some of them, when he noticed that Bryan's shoes still stood by the now closed door. He put the brush back down and set his hair in the usual ponytail before he opened the door to the kitchen. He saw Bryan sitting there, not looking back. He got a feeling that there was something he was supposed to recognize. He frowned and walked around the table slowly. He then sat down in front of Bryan.

"Good morning…" Lei mumbled and looked out of the window, at the now brightly coloured clouds barely visible over the rooftops. Then it hit him.

It's just like back then!, he thought to himself. Just like after that night, just… reversed.

He involuntarily put his fingers over his mouth, as if by reflex. If Bryan noticed, he didn't say anything. Lei glanced at him, trying to see anything out of place. Bryan still wasn't looking at him.

- - -

I know just as well as you what lies he said. I know how it made you feel. You reacted more strongly to them than I did, you hated him more than moment than you ever thought you could. For once since the first time, you were in on it. You wanted to hurt him almost as much as I did. For what? Were you jealous? Were you frightened? You told yourself he liked all those things because you know he usually does, even if he never admits it.

I liked it. I liked that fear in his eyes, that panic and momentary madness when he realized what was going on. You're the one who tried to convince him, not I.

I mocked him.

Seeing it, doing it, made you suffer, made you weak. You might be my weakness, but you said it yourself…

You don't exist.

Bryan smiled to himself after that long inner monologue, still looking out of the window. He waited for a response and almost laughed out loud when he realized there would be none.

- - -

"Good morning." Bryan finally replied, still with that smile on his face. Lei turned his head towards him, feeling a growing sense of something like foreboding.

"How are you?" Lei asked, mostly to prevent an uncomfortable silence. Or an even more uncomfortable conversation. Bryan shrugged slightly.

"As usual, I guess. How about you?"

Lei masked his surprise with to him impressive speed.

"I… just have a little headache, it's nothing."

Bryan looked out of the window again. His wide grin had been reduced to an amused smirk. Lei tried to make it less obvious that he was staring, not sure about what to make of the glint of happiness in Bryan's eyes.

He hadn't seen that for years. He almost felt guilty when he realized he was going to kill it again.

"You didn't hear what I said a while ago, did you?"

Bryan turned his attention to Lei again. He frowned slightly.

"Before you fell asleep. What was the last thing I said?"

Bryan shrugged.

"I don't think you said anything."

Lei considered for a moment to let it rest at that, but something inside of him drove him on. Some need for confirmation.

"I asked you a couple of questions." He said, realizing what was going to happen. He regretted asking.

Bryan sighed slightly, an annoyed look surfacing in his eyes.

"And I guess you still want some answers?"

"Of course." Lei replied quickly, against all common sense.

Bryan leant back against the chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Alright then." he sighed. "Ask."

Lei looked down at the table, unsure about how to start. Bryan looked out of the window while waiting, not rushing him. Lei finally took a deep, quiet breath and met Bryan's eyes again.

"Do you have anywhere else to go?" he asked, sounding almost demanding without intention. Bryan didn't look back at him, or let his face show any emotion. Lei waited to the point where he was convinced Bryan hadn't been listening.

"Answer..."

"What makes you think I need somewhere to go?" Bryan interrupted him.

"Everyone needs a home or… sanctuary of some kind."

Bryan laughed heartily at what Lei said, making him relax slightly yet still feel tense.

"Sanctuary! Why would I need one of those when I have nothing to hide from?"

Lei shook his head slowly, sighing irritably.

"The point of sanctuaries isn't hiding, it's just a feeling of safety! A place where you know nothing bad could ever come to you."

Bryan grinned again, staring at Lei in an unsettling way.

"And you're saying that my sanctuary is…?"

Lei realized he breathed too quickly, but could do nothing about it. He met Bryan's eyes.

"You tell me." He replied, not wanting to say out loud what he was thinking.

Bryan nodded slowly with an unserious thoughtfulness, looking up at the ceiling. He then pointed at Lei.

"You." He said with a grin. "You're saying that my sanctuary is you."

Lei sighed and looked out of the window, trying to find something else to look at than Bryan's amused look.

"That would explain why you keep coming back, wouldn't it?" he muttered carelessly. He didn't realize he had actually said it until he noticed that Bryan's smile had faded. His eyes had darkened. Before Lei could do anything more, Bryan reached over the table and again grabbed the collar of his shirt again, pulling Lei near himself.

"I don't need anyone!" he snarled. "I don't need anyone or anything. I don't need you!"

He spat out the last word as if it had a foul taste and pushed Lei back. Lei fell back at the chair, almost tipping it over, and stared at Bryan with a surprised look on his face. His expression then turned from surprised to stern.

"I'm sure you don't." he said darkly and stood up, correcting his shirt with almost nonchalant disregard for Bryan's outburst. "But it's not me coming to your place over and over without an explanation. Face it, Bryan, you need me more than I need you! The fact that you get to fuck me is just a bonus, isn't it?"

He wanted to keep going, to vent his every frustration, but stopped himself before he could say anything else, not wanting to make things worse than they already were. Bryan glared at him for a while before he got up from the chair and walked around the table slowly, his eyes fixed on Lei. Lei backed away when Bryan came too close to him, knowing that it was an extremely dangerous situation. Bryan stopped after a while, when Lei almost had been cornered by him. He then tilted his head to his side with a smirk.

"I don't know when I saw you this frightened last time." He said slowly, unable to hide the glee in his voice. He stretched his hand out and followed Lei's jaw line down from the ear to the chin.

"Right… now I remember." He purred. "You were in chains…"

"Stop it." Lei whispered, the desperate tone in his voice was caused by the knowledge that he would continue, just because he asked him not to. Bryan took a step closer to him.

"Why?" he asked with a strange, dangerous sweetness in his voice. He put his hands on Lei's neck, pulling him slightly closer to himself. "I thought you said that didn't matter. Were you lying again?"

Lei closed his eyes and turned his head away from Bryan, not daring to turn around fully. Against his will, he felt a strange thrill and warmth spreading in his stomach. He hated his own treacherous body.

"Yes." He managed to whisper after a short while.

"You know I hate lies, Lei…" Bryan whispered, his face uncomfortably close to Lei's. "Just hate them… And you've already managed to lie twice tonight. If you ask me, you just love punishment. Some fetish you got."

Lei was sure for a moment that his legs would be unable to keep carrying him any longer. Bryan then let go of him and stepped back, still smiling. He looked at him for a moment, as if admiring his looks, before he disappeared into the bedroom again. Lei sighed in relief and almost fell towards the table. He leant on it for a while before he sat down. He sat there for a while, trying to make his heart slow down by willpower alone. Bryan returned from the bedroom, this time with shoes on again. Lei looked up and met his look.

"Well." He said shortly and grinned sadistically. "Nervous, or what?"

Lei didn't bother to reply. He looked out of the window instead, trying his best to ignore Bryan, despite the danger that was in that, too. He closed his eyes and sighed quietly, knowing all too well that there was nothing he could do that wasn't dangerous to him one way or another.

"What was it I said that made you so angry?" he asked instead, glad that his voice didn't sound as weak as he felt. Bryan frowned slightly.

"What?"

"That… night. What was it I said? What was it you said was a lie?"

Bryan crossed his arms with a sigh and slowly strolled to Lei's front door. Lei didn't get up to follow him and Bryan didn't check.

"I might not come back this time, Wulong." He called over his shoulder. "Then we'll see who needs who." He added, partly to himself, yet loud enough for Lei to hear it. He looked forward again, unlocked the door and put his hand on the door handle. He stood still there for a while, thinking.

"I want to be able to love you." He called, not looking back. Lei raised his head with a surprised look on his face. After a short silence, he allowed himself to smile. He didn't realize until a few moments later that despite his heartfelt smile, he had clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white.

"What?" he called back. Bryan's own grin was gone. He looked down on the floor.

"That's what you said." He called again and opened the door. He didn't look back, even when he closed the door. He walked slowly towards the stairs, still looking down.

"That was the lie." He added, quietly, as if there was a risk someone would hear it.

No, the ever defiant voice in the back of his head snickered. It wasn't.

- - -

Lei sat still for a while, a thousand thoughts running through his head. He didn't say anything, couldn't think anything coherent at all, just sat there staring at the floor. He was still smiling, even though he knew those words were his, not Bryan's. They were still words he had never even dared hope to hear him say. He got up and slowly walked to the front door. Almost unconsciously, he listened for steps outside. He turned around and noticed something unusual at the corner of his eyes. He looked to the side and saw Bryan's coat.

"He must have forgotten it." He said to himself and crossed his arms over his chest. He glanced back at the door. Without a moment's hesitation, he turned back and locked it. It gave him a strange sense of satisfaction, even though he knew that a simple door wouldn't stop Bryan if he really wanted to get in. He took Bryan's coat down from the hanger and looked at it for a long while. He wondered if Bryan would come back for it. He grimaced when he realized that he actually would open the door if he came back for it.

I said he needed me more than I needed him, he thought to himself, bringing the coat with him to the kitchen. I never said I don't need him at all.

He stopped there and looked around at the beer cans on the floor. He had forgotten all about his mild hangover, now it came back with renewed strength. He put the coat on the table and looked around. After a short moment, where he just stood and stared at it, he disappeared into the bedroom and brought out Bryan's belt as well. He put it around his own waist, just to see how it would look, but removed it again with a shudder. It reminded him too much of a collar. He wired the belt around the coat and fastened it there. He then stepped back, almost admiring them. For a moment, he almost wanted Bryan to come back.

His eyes fell on the notebook on the floor. He bent down and picked it up. After a moment's hesitation, he threw it into the trashcan. He didn't have to look through it to know what was there, and he was ashamed he had written it down. He looked at the coat again, feeling the anger rise up within him again. He quickly walked around the table, opened the window and picked the coat up again. Without looking at it, he carelessly rolled it together to a ball and threw it out, half hoping Bryan would never find it.

He then sat down, enjoying the light breezes from outside airing out the smell of old beer, and let himself forget for the moment that he waited for Bryan to come back.