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Title: Fun Backfired

Author: Aye-Za-Bella

Summary: Detention with Snape may bring a fun spell upon Ron and Hermione, but when it comes to Harry, the fun usually backfires.

"You know," said Harry conversationally to Ron one day in Potions. "I hate detentions. I mean hate it so much it's a wonder why I haven't-"

"-Cursed that privilege?" interrupted Ron understandingly.

"Exactly!" said Harry vigorously as he slipped some necessary ingredients to his and Ron's cauldron.

"Well, you are a bit of an idiot then," said Hermione lightly.

"What?" said Harry disbelievingly. "Don't tell me you enjoy them, considering you've NEVER given a detention before."

"Well, Harry. There are tactics involved," replied Hermione in her know-it-all mode. "For example, if I am given a detention and I don't want it. I will, by all means, use my power to escape that detention."

"Oh, really, Miss Granger?" said a snide voice from behind.

All three of them mentally groaned as they turned around slowly to face the dreaded Potions Master. (One did not need to mention the background snickers that filled the Slytherin side of the classroom.) "Well, let's see how you do that then. Detention, my office, today, 7 o'clock, Miss Granger." Hermione suddenly didn't look like a know-it-all anymore, but on the verge of tears.

"You are making her cry, you-"

"Five points from Gryffindor, Potter," said Snape in a dangerously soft voice. "Now, Mr. Weasley, since you are Miss Grander's friend, perhaps you want a detention as well? Detention, my office, today, 8 o'clock." The veins in Ron's neck threatened to jump out of his skin.

"You are making Ron suffocate, you-"

"Five more points from Gryffindor, Potter," interrupted Snape with a even more dangerous voice. "Same goes for you too then, Potter, detention, my office, today, 9 o'clock." Harry groaned.

"Now you are making me sad…" muttered Harry almost inaudibly.

"Continue your brewing, class," called Snape through the evident sneers and jeers from the Slytherins, as he stride imperiously to the front of the class.

Oo

After dinner, Harry, Ron and Hermione sat idly on their favorite spots in the Gryffindor common room.

"Hermione, why did you provoke Snape into giving us that detention?" asked Ron angrily.

"I didn't provoke him! I just didn't know he heard it, that's all," defended Hermione.

"Well, now that you do have the luxury of detention," said Harry. "Will you show us how you, ah, skip it?"

"Well… with the other teachers I could make it out… but Snape?" said Hermione uncertainly. "How…? Ahh…" She suddenly brightened up. "I know just the perfect way."

"What?" exclaimed Harry and Ron together.

"Later guys! It's 7 o'clock already! I'm late!" And she disappeared through the portrait hole.

Oo

Hermione strode calmly down the dungeon hall. She didn't think she could be that daring all her life. But this idea that occurred to her is just too wicked that she couldn't discard it no matter what.

She knocked three times on Snape's office door, and pushed it open when the familiar voice called "enter".

"Well, Miss Granger, this detention is here as you wished," said Snape. "You are to select good Flobberworms that will be used in Potions. Off to work then."

But Hermione didn't move. Her fingers were clinging tightly to her robes.

"Is there a problem?" asked Snape's sneering voice.

"I… yes, Professor Snape."

Snape raised an eyebrow. That was certainly not an answer he expected.

"Well?" he inquired, unable to hide his curiosity.

Hermione trembled slightly, out of fear. If she was not convincing enough, Snape was going to have her head.

"I… I just want you to know that… I…" she faltered.

"Yes?" prompted Snape.

"That I love you," finished Hermione. Now she'd done it. Was it convincing? Was it?

"What?" said Snape shocked.

"Well… I thought you'd want to know… I thought…"

"Go," said Snape with suppressed calm. "Just go."

Hermione turned and leapt out of the door.

Oo

In five minutes time, she reappeared once again in front of Ron and Harry, who were looking at her as if she was a ghost.

"No you didn't-" whispered Ron hoarsely.

"Oh, yes I believe I just did. It's only 7:10, isn't it?" snapped Hermione, though she was smirking.

"Were Snape Confounded or something?" asked Harry.

"Oh, no. His mind is perfectly clear." Hermione continued to smirk.

"Tell us how you did it, Hermione! I've got detention with him in less than an hour," pleaded Ron.

"Fine. But Harry, don't listen. I'll tell you when Ron comes back."

Oo

Eight o'clock came and went. Harry fidgeted nervously in his chair, all the while feeling slightly annoyed at Ron and Hermione's secretiveness. In ten minutes' time, Ron came bursting through the portrait hole.

"Did it work?" asked Hermione conversationally.

"You are my goddess, Hermione!" panted Ron breathlessly. "Yes! It did! Well… Snape got a little suspicious in the end though. He said, 'get out of my sight' with that glint in his eyes, as though he was plotting something. But ah, well. I got through."

"Your turn, Harry." They simultaneously turned to him. And they told him what to do.

Oo

At five to nine, Harry trotted down the dungeon, cursing about Ron and Hermione's sanity as he did so. He would never say those words, never say those words to Snape or anyone else.

'Just one hour's detention and get it over with,' thought Harry resolutely. While Ron and Hermione didn't care about their lives, he, Harry, did. And he would not let Snape had the life his mother tried so hard to protect.

With these thoughts in mind, Harry knocked the door.

"Enter," said a voice from inside. That voice made Harry suddenly gone cold. For in addition to that coldness that belonged definitely to the usual Snape, there was a silkily calculating tone in it that Harry did not like at all.

'Something's going to happen,' thought Harry desperately. 'Snape's finally gone around and realized you guys were tricking him, Ron, Hermione. Now he's going to make ME pay.'

Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside, searching for a certain glint in Snape's eyes that indicated something unusual.

But it didn't come. Snape was looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face, and when he spoke, he sounded every bit like a professor giving out punishments to students.

"Well, Potter, you are to select good Flobberworms that will be used in Potions. Off to work then."

Harry nearly sighed aloud in relief. 'So he's not going to get me back after all.' As he thought this, he was not aware that he didn't do exactly as he was told, but instead lingering over Snape's desk.

"Whatever are you waiting for, Potter?" asked Snape expectantly.

"Uh… huh?"

"Oh, yes, what are my lines again? Yes, I need to tell you something," said Snape softly leaning towards him. "I just thought you ought to know that I love you."

"What?" said Harry, alarmed. 'Shit! He saw through it after all! And now I'm the scapegoat,' thought Harry glumily.

"You heard me, Potter! I said 'I love you'. And I want you to spend the night with me… picking out good Flobberworms to be used in Potions," said Snape triumphantly.

"No!" shouted Harry. "I didn't do anything! And I wasn't going to say that to you! It was Hermione's idea, I swear! She just wanted us to have a bit of fun!"

"And fun it is, I expect. Fun for me this time." said Snape softly. "Fun backfired."

For the rest of the night, Ron and Hermione waited and waited in the Gryffindor common room, their hands over their mouth in terror.

And for the rest of the night, Harry worked and worked on his detention. Damn, he should have thought to bring protective gloves.

The End

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