A/N: I finally broke my writers block on this story ((yayness!!)) well after writing like 50 pages for 'Lost' (which I will update at the same time as this one )

Anyway this chapter has a lot of inner conflict in it, and I don't mean just the normal Kenshin conflict, Kaoru has her own problems too.



Day's went by mostly in silence, neither person knew what to say to the other, and silence can be deadly.

Kaoru started to feel guilty for what happened; maybe she did kill those people. Maybe she just didn't remember doing it if that was possible, was she turning into a monster, one that wouldn't be stopped? Maybe she deserved what had happened to her. Maybe she should let the police take her back, maybe she did deserve death...

Kenshin looked around they weren't far outside of Tokyo now they would have to walk around the city, that would set them back at least three days. 'But that doesn't matter as long as Miss Kaoru is safe.' The rurouni voice said in his head.

'Yeah I know that, I think we all know that! But Look at Kaoru she's beating herself up inside!' Kenshin thought in retort to his more submissive half. 'She's blaming herself!'

The battousai grinned, 'I know how we can fix that...'

'NO!!' The two other halves yelled seeing his thoughts.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru was looking at him strange he had that furrowed expression again and it made her wonder what he was thinking about.

"It's nothing Miss Kaoru." Kenshin said allowed

"Uh huh," She said not convinced.

'She's on to me,' he thought.

Kaoru sighed as she looked off into the distance and saw her dojo and the town that lay beyond it. She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and she turned and gave Kenshin a faint smile. Reassuring him that she was ok, lying to him, keeping what she really felt inside was killing her but as long as it didn't kill anyone else it was ok.

'You should lay more trust in him, he's here because he cares for you.' her conscience said in the back of her mind.

'You think I don't already know that!' She retorted, 'But why should I burden him with my problems? He has so many of his own that he holds inside why should I add my own to his!'

'Because he wants you to, because he cares, that's right he cares, that's a first for you in a long time isn't it?'

Kaoru cringed inwardly at this. 'But that is exactly it, I don't deserve him, mainly for that reason, it would be selfish, it wouldn't be right, he deserves better than me.'

'Does he now?'

'Yes, yes he does,' She was getting flustered with her own thinking. 'Otherwise he would trust me more. He must know that I am just a stupid raccoon girl... Nothing more than a little sister, and why should you entrust your pain, your concerns, your soul with someone like that?'

"Miss Kaoru?" Kenshin had been watching her for a while now and she looked about as frustrated as he did when he was having an inner battle.

"What?" she snapped not thinking about what she sounded like.

"Are you ok?" He asked a little surprised by her tone "You seem to have something on your mind?"

"I'm fine!" she said sounding more exasperated than she had meant to. 'Jeeze why are you snapping at him he didn't do anything?'

Stupid, stupid conscious!

"I'm sorry Kenshin, I just have a lot on my mind." She looked down at her dojo which had become a camp for the police. She couldn't help but feel angry, 'They better not touch any of my clothes!'

'Is that something you really should be thinking about right now...'

Stupid, stupid conscious, what Kaoru wouldn't give if she could jam a sock down it's throat, or take Kenshin's sakabatou and...

"We better go Miss Kaoru, we should try to get as far away from here as we can."

Kaoru just nodded she took one more glance at the city before following Kenshin farther off into the distance.

- - -

Much to Kaoru's relief they spent most of the night traveling she still didn't like to rest for fear of letting her demons to return.

Kenshin knew what she was putting herself through, it killed him, but what was he to do? How could he help heal her heart when she wouldn't let him in? 'Maybe you don't try hard enough, anyway why should she let you in when you yourself will not give her the satisfaction of the same, you're a hypocrite! You don't deserve her!' his inner battousai sneered.

'Yeah well you're right we don't deserve her, this one loves her to much to hurt her anymore than she already is...'

'You're dense! Look at her... go on look at her!' Kenshin glanced sideways at Kaoru, 'You see, what is it that you are feeling? Isn't that what you need? Who cares if we deserve her or not? What about her, she needs us whether you believe we are deserving or not, that doesn't matter, she needs us! You're always the one who wants to protect her, well stop protecting her from yourself for once in your pathetic life and see that she needs protecting from something far more threatening than a rurouni in a pink gi!'

'It's Magenta.' The rurouni muttered, 'And anyway when did you become the voice of reason?'

'When you became the voice of stupidity,' The battousai said matter of fact 'She needs more protecting from herself than you at the moment, so why don't you do something about it!'

'Like what?' the rurouni saw exactly what the battousai was thinking 'No, no and no! we are not doing that, NO!'

'Well at least talk to her you dense son of a-'

"Kenshin?"

"Oro?!" he squeaked being caught off guard.

"Are you ill?" She put the back of her hand to his forehead to check his temperature. He had looked pail and he kept making side glances at her, she was starting to worry.

Kenshin grabbed her hand and pulled it down, but he didn't let it go, "I'm fine" he looked at her with serious resignation. "Kaoru I-" but he didn't finish someone was coming.

Kaoru felt herself being pulled towards Kenshin her head landed against the crook of his neck, she noticed how comfortably she fit there. She also noticed that Kenshin was running deep into the forest zig-zagging as he did this. Kaoru gasped inwardly as her eye's met amber one's. 'What could have brought this on?

She silently questioned him as he carried her deeper and deeper into the forest.

Her only answer was an amber gaze, minuets later they were far enough into the forest that he could no longer feel the foreboding ki from just a few moments earlier.

"Kenshin?"

"Someone was getting to close, we are going to have to stay off any road indefinitely now..." Kenshin's hitokiri senses did not subside as he stayed on guard the rest of the day as the made there way through the thick under growth of the forest.

It was a long journey, it took them five days longer traveling by the cover of night, and seeking shelter anywhere they could. But Five days and a lot of mental curses from both person later they finally, in the cover of darkness, they saw the dim light's of the Aoiya shining as if it were a beckon in the distance. And beyond that Kenshin saw what he feared the most, police they were keeping guard outside the inn.

"Damn it," Kenshin said in a low growl.

Kaoru stared at him still amazed at the change in his mannerism since they had left the roads. "Kenshin?" she questioned softly trying to hide her worry of his change.

"We can't stay at the Aoiya...It's too much of a risk."

"Then where are we to go?" They defiantly were not going to stay anywhere else in the city, Kaoru might as well hand herself over now if that was the case.

Kenshin didn't say a word instead he looked at the hills beyond Kyoto.

"You aren't thinking what I think you are? ...Are you?" Kenshin looked at her to confirm her question; "Well maybe you should get him some sake before we make our way down there?" She scoffed

He glanced at her he wanted to smile, 'that almost wasn't a half bad idea...'

They made there way around the city making their way to a forest to the home of a 'hermit' as some would call him, hardly that. Kenshin and Kaoru made there way to the home of Seijuro Hiko 13th master of Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu.

To be continued...

A/N: You know while I was writing this chapter I couldn't help but think that I am so mean to Kaoru (read 'oh brother' and 'lost' and you know what I'm talking about), maybe after I am done with this story I will right a story where something nice happens to her for once. How does that sound?