A/N: Well, well. A new fic from me. Let's see – I have the Stargate one that's on hold (read the last chapter of it to find out why); the Naruto fic that I have resigned myself to having writer's block for…but, with the help of some good friends, am doing the rest of the chapters; the Silmarillion fic that the computer that has all the files for that story (and I had just written a few more chapters to post, too!) has temporarily died; and now this. Not sure where I'll go with it…probably it'll end up being a test piece – you know, growing as a writer and all.

Tears of the Sun

Alone.

Lost.

Afraid.

She struggled through the threads of slipstream, lost in her own universe of pain. He was gone. Dead. Never again would she see that old familiar sparkle in his eyes. Never again hear his voice. Never again smell his very essence in the air.

Blinded by sorrow, she wandered through the stream, not caring if she lived or died, no longer ashamed of the tears running unheeded down her face, blurring her vision. She had not left the pilot's seat for hours, had not taken a break from the demanding task of piloting the web.

She was the best, but she didn't even bother to figure out where she was going. She didn't care. It didn't matter. He had always said that she seemed to be one with the nexus they traveled in, and now she was making herself a permanent part of those tangled threads, intending nothing but to loose herself forever in them, and perhaps to forget the pain of the past.

She had been in them for so long, she didn't even know where she was, or how far she had traveled. She didn't care, either. All that mattered was that she was running. Running from the memories. Running from all sense of reality. Running from him.

She threw the bonsai tree against the wall. "WHY?" she screamed. "Why couldn't I find it?" She smashed him fists against the deck as she fell to her knees, screaming out her anger and sorrow to the universe. Tears poured down her face, and she tore the branches from the fallen tree. "Why couldn't I see it? It was there! I know it was! I couldn't see it, though; I couldn't save him…" she broke down, sobbing her heart out, further mutilating her beloved tree.

She looked at her other plants, her family, and a rage grew in her. She took them one by one, and destroyed them. Killing them in every way she knew how. Pulling off their branches. Cutting them to pieces. Smashing delicate flowers and bulbs into pulp beneath the shards of pottery littering the floor.

Then, she saw it. Her ever-falling tears had landed on the bonsai, and it was growing again. With a passionate scream, she viciously tore it apart again, and threw the splintered remains across the room.

Her rage was as fresh as that of her friend had been. And, now, she was feeling the emptiness that came from all her anger gone, all her energy depleted. She sat back on her heels, and sobbed. Cried for her poor dead plants. Cried for herself. Cried for him.

"The four steps of grief are thus. Disbelief. Anger. Depression. And, finally, acceptance." As she said this, her brown eyes were filled with tears from the tear ducts she had once professed not to know how to use. The man opposite her shook his head. "Beka must be in depression mode, by now. I wonder where she is." He looked to the woman. "You and I accept it. Beka's depressed. Rhade is…Rhade. How is Trance, though? Do we know how she's taking it? The two of them were really close." The brown head shook emphatically. "She has engaged privacy mode. But, knowing Trance…I think she's finally gotten over her disbelief. That means, she is angry."

The blonde's shoulders slumped. "How did this all happen? What did we do to deserve this? What did HE do to deserve it?"

The message came in the next day. A memorial service was to be held. All of them were "strongly invited to attend". Read between the lines. They were ordered to attend. But that meant they had to find Beka. And now, they also had to find Trance. They had two days to find their friends and bring them back from the brink.

A/N: Ooooh, angst! New genre for me…have to see how it works out! Ciao!