Disclaimer: Don't own, Don't sue!
A/N: If you would like to know about my updates, and why I seem to take a hiatus once and a while, please see my bio, I try to update it whenever something happens. (I also update it with every chapter upload lol)
Anyone else notice that I have a lot of flashbacks in this story? And this one probably isn't the last either XDD
Thank you to everyone who reviewed! You all get a cookie D
Kaoru sat on the bank of the water staring down at her reflection. 'This is the first time I have looked at myself since...' She cringed at the thought, the word 'Hokkaido' had become a curse word in her mind now.
"Mother, Father?" she whispered looking up at the stars "Are you watching me now? I'm sorry, I wasn't strong enough, I gave up to easily."
FLASHBACK
Hokkaido a few months earlier:
"I will ask you one more time." A rodent faced man spat as he looked at a very worn down Kaoru, "Who has been ordering these assassinations?"
Kaoru stayed silent. Glaring at the man wishing she could do something.
"You won't say? Fine," He turned to the man in the shadows, "Thirty lashes, and don't go easy on her, a killer like that deserves no sympathy..."
"WAIT!" Kaoru yelled, desperate not to repeat that again, and she knew what 'don't go easy' usually entailed. This wasn't the first time she was being interrogated (if you could call it that); in fact this wasn't the first time that day. "I..." she stuttered part of her not believing what she was about to say. "It was me."
"What!" The man grabbed her wrist which was already bruised from hours of being held by a shackle.
Kaoru flinched, and felt tears of pain sting her eyes, 'Crying is for the weak' she said to her self as she fought to keep them back. "I did it, y-your government... it sickens me." She was still in shock over her own words, "I couldn't sit by and do nothing, while I watched selfish government pigs destroyed our economy, our morals. I brought justice into my own hands and served it as I saw fit."
"Is that a confession?" The man twisted her wrist to get an answer out of her.
Kaoru showed no reaction to the pain, she wouldn't allow him the pleasure of it.
"Is that a confession?" The man asked again making every syllable clear.
"Yes." The words where a death sentence, but at that moment death looked very friendly to her. Kaoru was tired, and sleeping forever seemed very comforting.
"Alert the firing squad, we will have an execution in the morning." And with that Kaoru was thrown back into her cold little jail cell.
-o-
As she sat in the shadows she realized what Saitou had told her earlier, 'there is a cliff...' "I guess it won't hurt to try," She started to chuckle darkly, "What's the worst that could happen, death?"
END FLASHBACK
'Who would have known that Saitou would be useful?' She thought bitterly.
"I wanted to die," She told the stars, "To give up... I wasn't as strong as you thought." Kaoru sighed, the knowledge of betraying her dearly departed father's faith in her was a bigger burden than she ever thought she could carry. She closed her eyes, letting the sound of the water hitting the pebbly shore calm her thoughts.
-o-
"She told you some things that will be quite useful, what are you going to do with your new knowledge?" Hiko asked quirking an eyebrow as he watched his apprentices response.
Kenshin looked at his master for a moment before it dawned on him what Hiko had meant. "I have an idea."
"Do you now?" Hiko said with mock interest, "This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain group of spies that you already have working for you at this very moment?"
"And if it does?"
"I would say that, that might be a good idea, you never know what you may find."
"You know something."
"No, I don't, I know nothing more than you do," Hiko smiled slyly, "Except, maybe you should be with the woman you love."
"Oro!" Kenshin's face turned the same shade as his hair, "Master!" Kenshin stalked off nonetheless.
'Pathetic as ever.' Whether he was talking about his pupil, or everything else, was only for Hiko to truly know.
-o-
There she was, just sitting there near the edge of the water, she looked so peaceful there. Pity he couldn't read her thoughts, her face might have read more than their shallow depths.
"Did you need something Kenshin?" Amazing how she could tell it was him even though she had no way of reading ki.
"No..." The response seemed to linger on his lips as he just stared at her as the waters reflection played across her pail face.
"You can sit down, I promise I won't bite." Her tone albeit joking, seemed to hold a small bit of sadness within it.
"What were you thinking of?" He knew it wasn't his place to ask, but the question seemed to slip.
Kaoru looked at him and smiled, "My father." It wasn't a lie, she was thinking of him, sure she was thinking of other things as well, but her father never left her thoughts.
Kenshin sat next to her not pressing her for any forced conversation.
"Actually..." she said scarcely above a whisper. "I was thinking about Hokkaido... and I can't think of a single way to apologize to him for it."
"Why would you need to apologize?" Here he went crossing those lines again; he had promised himself not to do that. She never inquired upon him, why did he find it right to inquire upon her?
"I broke a promise to him, I've never done that before." She never once looked at Kenshin, she just kept her eyes closed. "It was one of only three things he had ever asked of me, and I couldn't do it. So tell me what can I say? I don't think 'I'm sorry' works on the dead."
'...That it doesn't' Kenshin thought as he just stared at her. "There is nothing I can say, because truthfully Miss Kaoru, it is for you to decide what to do." Kenshin looked down at the water. "Can I ask what it was?"
"I gave up. I had lost hope in nearly everything." She opened her eyes and looked at the stars above them.
"But you didn't really give up, if you had you wouldn't be here now."
Kaoru smirked, "Maybe..." 'If it weren't for Saitou I defiantly wouldn't be here, and maybe one day I can tell you that. Though... you might not believe it.' "Kenshin?"
"Yes"
"Why were you really in Hokkaido?"
Wow that was a quick subject change, "What do you mean Miss Kaoru?"
"I knew even before you left that the reason you had left wasn't just to visit some 'ill friend.' What was the real reason Kenshin?"
'Am I that transparent?' Kenshin wondered trying to figure out how she had come upon this knowledge. "No, visiting Shuichi wasn't the only reason I had for being in Hokkaido, but it did make for a nice alibi."
"You're avoiding my question, Kenshin."
'Yes I am.' Kenshin thought soundly, "Eh heh..."
"Kenshin... you're stalling." Kaoru glared at the man, 'don't be a baka.'
"Oro?" When in doubt of answering a difficult question... play stupid.
"Kenshin." Her tone dripped with warning.
"I'm sorry Miss Kaoru, but I cannot tell you, that I cannot."
Kaoru raised an eyebrow. 'I will find out,' she thought to herself; absently she wondered of Saitou had anything to do with this too.
'Uh-oh she's got that plotting look... distract her from her thoughts... but how?' Kenshin looked up at the stars, "It's getting late I think we should go back to master that we should." Kaoru was still staring off thinking of ways to make the man talk. "Are you alright Kaoru?" Kenshin's proverbial eyes widened 'Oro!' his mind screeched, 'Miss...Miss Kaoru... I forgot to say miss!' the rurouni half of him was freaking out as a darker half in the back of his mind could be heard snickering at the mans panicked mental state.
'Kaoru?' that snapped her back to reality, 'Did he just say Kaoru?' She just stared at him trying to figure out what she had just heard.
"Miss Kaoru?" He asked again hoping it would snap her out of whatever shock she was in.
'Damn there's that Miss again.' Kaoru sighed and shook her head. She followed the baka rurouni out of the grove of trees.
To be continued...
A/N: Some action to come up in the next couple chapters:Jumps up and down: I have been waiting to write it and I can't wait to finally be able to! I know this may seem a little slow, but the plot should be picking up soon D