Title: Harry Potter and the Quest for Harry Junior (Nope we haven't changed the title yet...)

Author: Tangled Webs

Disclaimer: As if I could ever own something like this…in my dreams…its so not mine, my only comfort is that its not yours either.

Warning: You will encounter slash, violence, sexual humor, nudity- no wait that's only in movies, really bad innuendoes, and stupid stuff. So if you don't like this stuff, why are you even reading the third chapter?

Chapter Three: Hoe…I mean Cho!

It had been a terrible week, starting off with Harry losing Harry Junior. For Harry, Harry Junior could not have departed at a worse time. Harry felt like a man without a cause, there was nothing there to guide him in tough decisions. Harry couldn't wear the pants in his relationship with Ginny, so he took to avoiding her. And now, Harry had lost to Slytherin, Draco Malfoy had caught the snitch before Harry had ever seen it. But it wasn't Harry's fault that he couldn't get into game mode without Harry Junior. They had been a team, and Harry couldn't believe that Harry Junior could just leave him like that. It was then when Harry was in the pits that Cho would enter.

She was wearing a skin tight black dress that left nothing to the imagination, and if you didn't have a imagination, then it would inspire you to have one. Another nice girl just like Hermoine. Harry thought as she sat down on his lap.

"Harry you seem depressed…maybe I could be of assistance?" Hoe, I mean Cho whispered in his ear huskily as she grinded against him.

"Actually, no." Harry tried to detangled himself from her, at any other time this would have welcomed and indeed he would have found a abandoned classroom for them. But it was already hard enough to not let Ginny in on his er-condition, he didn't need Hoe right now making things harder.

"Come on Harry…I know what you like. And we always have so much fun…" Hoe…Cho said as she licked his ear, then kissed Harry. And that distracted him so much he didn't notice her unzipping his pants until it was too late.

"Hoe…I mean Cho! Don't do that!" But alas the warning came to late, she'd already seen the empty space and had fallen from Harry's lap in shock. She hit her head on a stone step and fell to the floor where she started having a seizure.

Due to the fall and hitting her head, Hoe lost her memory of the terrible incident, but at a dreadful cost. She lost all her memories all together, her family didn't want a hoe like that, so she went to St. Mungos, where she met a wonderful man named Gilderoy Lockhart. Who seemed as oblivious to the world as she. They married and have a sex life that continues to keep the night nursing staff up all night. But back to our story , for who wants to hear about a hoe like that?

Harry was pacing in the bathroom that Dumbledore had shoved him in after the whole Cho thing. Promising to take care of it, so no one would hear about his disgrace. He was looking in the mirror wondering at how his life could change so dramatically when he heard someone enter. Quickly he went over to one of the bowls and unzipped his pants, confident that bathroom code would protect him.

Ron walked in and nodded at Harry, he unzipped his pants and faced straight ahead. No words were exchanged and they both stared at the wall straight ahead, until Ron peeked over. His eyes widened.

"Harry, you have no pen-" Ron yelled.

"YOU LOOKED?" Harry roared even louder then Ron, in disbelief that Ron would break the sacred no peeking rule.

"Well, I like to compare…" Was all Ron could say in his defense before he was yet again cut off.

"Compare? Ron, you would break our oldest rule for that? How could you?" Harry asked with a angry expression.

"Merlin, I don't know how I could…my life is ruined. I need to be alone." Ron ran out the door crying, forgetting Rule number two and three, zip up your pants and wash your hands.

Harry sigh, zipped up his pants, washed his hands, and walked out the door to see…Malfoy with his girlfriend. He stopped and stared as the two whispered in the hall.

"Do I need a library card, or do you mind if I check you out?" Draco's voice carried over to Harry and he watched as Ginny reached out and playfully punched him in the arm.

"Ginny, why are you letting Malfoy bother you?" He called out and the two looked up with annoyed expression, as if they didn't want to be interrupted which was odd seeing as Ginny hated Malfoy. Then he saw Malfoy's hand reach out and slap Ginny's ass.

"Hey, you can't do that to my girlfriend!" He yelped and stared forward as if to take on Malfoy, but he really didn't have a chance since he was without Harry Junior. But Malfoy's next words stopped him cold in his tracks.

"Potter, that's were your mistaken…she's mine." Was Draco's cool reply, as his arm wrapped possessively around Ginny's waist. She did nothing to stop him. Harry knew she liked a guy who wore the pants in the relationship…and Draco could certainly wear the pants. Then Harry chided himself for thinking about Malfoy that way. They'd already tried it out, and Draco wasn't happy on the bottom, he always wanted to be on the top… wait back to Ginny.

"Ginny?" He tried pathetically one more time, he wasn't willing to give up so easily.. It just couldn't be that way. This couldn't be the end of them…

"Harry, I'm fed up with you not being around. I know your cheating on me with Hoe! You guys screwed so much she finally couldn't take it all and had a breakdown. Don't deny it! Dumbledore told us all. There's that and I'm pregnant with Draco's child." Then again it could be the end of them. Harry marveled at Dumbledore's lie. It was so nice of him to keep Harry's reputation intact. Then Harry heard the end of Ginny's statement.

"But…but that means that you were cheating with him before I was! If I had been!" Harry whined and Ginny suddenly flushed.

"Maybe its because he has a bigger di-" But by then Harry had ran away crying. Draco rolled his eyes and Ginny sighed.

"What a wanker." Draco snorted in disgust before turning back to Ginny.

"Just shut up and make hate to me!" She demanded. They didn't call what they had love, it was hate. So they had come up with a new phrase.

Draco smirked and yanked up Ginny's skirt. "I love it when you talk dirty."

"I said shut up!" Then Ginny shut him up finally…

Common Room

Ron sat crying in the common room to Hermoine, who was sitting next to him, staring open mouthed at his still opened pants. He still hadn't zipped up his pants…and the sight was making Hermoine speechless.

"I mean I only look every other week! It makes me feel better about myself…Its called Harry Junior for a reason!"

"I believe it…I mean its okay, Ron." Hermoine patted Ron on the back as she continued to stare at his fantastic member. Suddenly Ron stopped crying and buried his face in Hermoine's neck.

"You know what would make all this better?" He whispered into her neck. She had stopped moving and breathing. Could it be…had Ron finally noticed?

"Chocolate cake." He finished and Hermoine sighed disappointed, someone up there really had it out for her.

Then Harry entered the room, he looked dejected but there was a determined air about him. The glint in his eyes tipped Hermoine off. She realized that they were going to do something dangerous or stupid. Or if they were really lucky it could be both.

"We're going on a quest!" He announced grandly.

"Oh boy.." Hermoine rolled her eyes at him. Harry just beamed at her.

"I knew I could count on you, Herm." He smiled at her so not excited or even happy face.

"Well, I'll do whatever you want me to, just like that one night. Where you came to my bed and we took off all our clothes and played that game." Ron started to explain.

"Shut up." Harry hissed and Hermoine shot them a suspicious look.

"Yay! We're going on a quest." Ron shouted and jumped up as his pants slid off and onto the floor. Suddenly, Hermoine forgot everything as she stared. And with that the quest began, right after Hermoine tackled Ron and had him for all he was worth.