sweet as lemonz: not too sweet I hope, this is Snape we're talking about after all! Speaking of which, I am having so much trouble keeping him from going OOC, I'm not sure if I completely succeed.

LiL.CaT.AnImE: I didn't think you'd given up on the story, it was just nice to hear from you again since no one seems to be reviewing --

mary: I noticed you posted your review after chapter two and mentioned a couple grammatical errors, for the first few chapters I posted I typed them and simply ran them though the spell checker without going back and doing a read-though like I did with the later chapters hence the errors.

Chapter 15: A Dilemma of the Heart

I was up and teaching again the next morning, ignoring Madame Pomfrey's warning about being easy on my leg. After all I'd had enough broken bones that I knew what kind of stress they'd take the next day.

Harry was in before lunch for his potions lessons and he was only a few minutes into brewing when he asked, "Is it true that Voldemort has marked Hogwarts down for attack?"

I looked up from the essays I was marking. "Where did you hear that?"

"From Ron. He said that Snape was in late last night talking to you about it."

Suddenly his well-placed loud snore made so much more sense. "You all need to learn to trust our judgement on what we do and do not tell you."

"I did last year, then Sirius died."

I put my quill down and walked over to him. "Harry we only just received definite news that Voldemort is planning to do anything to Hogwarts. I only heard of it yesterday. It is up to Dumbledore what everyone knows and generally he is good at telling people what they need to know. He is certainly freer with giving information to you then he is to the rest of us. With the possible exception of Severus who brings him the information in the first place."

"You seemed to be awfully close with Snape yesterday."

I wondered why he cared what happened between Severus and I. "It often seems that we either get along or we can't stand one another. Now, you have a potion to attend to."

- - - - -

That evening I went for a walk around the grounds enjoying the slightly warmer weather. On my way back to the castle I was joined by Severus who had been down at Hagrids, something to do with a potions of some sort for one of Hagrids creatures.

He paused outside the castle out of view of the main doors. "Adrian, a word, if I may."

I turned to face him a slight feeling of dread settling into the pit of my stomach.

"After the events of yesterday I was wondering if…"

I held up my hands. "Severus, stop. I know what you're going to ask and the answer is no. I can be your friend but I can't be anymore then that, not after what happened."

"It would hardly happen again."

"That doesn't matter. You broke my trust on the very deepest level. I can't just forget that and have everything go back to how it was. I just can't go through that with you again because I can't bring myself to forgive you so I can trust you again."

"If I gave you my word…"

"What does that matter? It didn't matter last time, why should I trust it to matter this time?" I started to walk away only to turn back and say, "For what it's worth you have my friendship but I can't bring myself to forgive you enough for it to be any more then that."

- - - - -

I was sitting at my desk where the candle was burning low trying to read the same line for the fifth time.

"Difficulties concentrating?"

I looked up in surprise to see Grandpa sitting across from me.

"I didn't hear you come in."

"No, you were much too involved in your thoughts."

I pushed the essay away from me. "I can't stop thinking about him. I hate him for what he did but I still can't stop thinking about him."

"Hum. I think you hate what he did more then you hate him or else you would not be dwelling on him now."

"I just can't forgive him for that, it's…it's too much to forgive."

"Because he broke your heart."

I buried my face in my hands. "I trusted him, Grandpa. I trusted him more then I trusted anyone, and I loved him and he threw that right back in my face."

"But he regrets it, and that is the key."

"I…I can't. I can't open myself up to that kind of hurt again."

"But you'd like to trust him again, or else we wouldn't be having this conversation."

I had to admit he was right.

"Get some sleep, child. You will forgive Severus when you feel ready."