Chapter 6- Revelations- part 2
Six days—almost a week! That was it. He had been waiting to see her for what seemed an eternity, and she would not come down from her high tower. Six had said she had eaten, but still left some food aside, which meant she was not eating properly. And the thought of her been disturbed by something just was unbearable to him. Now he was upset for her conduct.
He waited until everyone was asleep, as he always did almost every night, and got up from his bed, where he laid beside Sarima. She had flinched and opened her eyes at her husband's actions. Her curiosity won her over, and she had to ask.
"Where are you going, dear?" requested Sarima.
"Nowhere. Just go back to sleep." answered Fiyero. He would not tell her how he longed to be alongside another person. So he just lied, and tried to sound convincible. It was not that he was ashamed of his love towards Elphaba, but he didn't want to produce a problem right now.
"But dear… you've been wandering through the castle for the last couple of days. You got me worried! It's no like you to do this sort of things. I demand to know what is going on." alleged Sarima. She would not stand her husband lying to her. Fiyero sighed and bowed his head, biting his lip so as to not yell at her for been so immature.
"It's… nothing, I told you. I just need fresh air. Nightmares from… my past haunt me. I just need time alone." He didn't stand there long enough to find out if she had bought that, but left the bedroom as fast as he could. He would not wait longer to talk to his Fae.
He went through the dark corridors of the castle. Whispering shadows and dimness chased after him. He made it as soundless and hasty as he could. The long walls and hard ground seemed to go on forever, making him more anxious than ever. Panting, and all covered in sweat because of the stretched stairs, he knocked on her door. Elphaba immediately opened the door to find a clammy Fiyero. Her first instinct was to retreat from the water pouring out of the man, but on a second thought, she relaxed a bit knowing that he would not touch her if he was soaked in any liquid that resembled water. She said nothing. Elphaba stared at the floor, not wanting to meet his eyes, knowing it was time for them to clear things up. She reared away from the door, and handled him a piece of cloth so that he could dry the sweat. They said nothing, but instead, with simple stares, they understood what each other meant to utter.
After a while, Fiyero couldn't stand the tensioning stillness anymore, and decided to speak. After all, he had come here to talk things out.
"Elphaba… I--" he stopped mid sentence, trying to figure out how to put his outrageous feelings in simple words. "I—I'm sorry." Was the first thing that occurred to him. Elphaba shot him a shocked look, expecting anything but that.
"I'm sorry that I hurt you. That was never my intention, on the contrary. My meaning was to make sure you were safe, and somewhere through it, everything mixed up and the effect was exactly the opposite. I'm sorry. I love you." There, he said what he wanted to say. That was the overall he had come up with these late days.
Elphaba just looked at him, her face unreadable. But she would not say a word. She was submerged in her own thinking, he could tell. Her eyes looked straightforward through him, but her mind was somewhere else. Maybe somewhere lost in transition, the apologize sinking in. Or maybe thinking how she would answer to that. Whether she would reply in a regretful tone or an irritated tone, he could not tell. Her look was illegible.
The silence, once again, was killing him. Most of his moments, Fiyero liked to spend his time in quietness. But not around her. He could never determine what was going on in her head, and that disturbed him, for every response she gave could bring him a bombshell sometimes.
Elphaba blinked once before answering. "I don't know what to do about that." She said, as much coldness as trueness in her voice. "I have been thinking. And as much as I regret to say this…I do love you." Fiyero's heart skipped a beat and a small smile threatened to form on his face. He wanted so badly to just grab her and hug her and make all of her pain and suffering disappear, as well as his. But he retained himself from doing so, for he didn't know what her reaction would be. As if reading his thoughts, Elphaba continued.
"But our time is done, Yero. And you must move on. You have a wife and kids! I'm not part of your picture anymore. Fiyero, you must let me go." Elphaba said. Her voice was full of expression now; expressions which revealed sadness and internal discussion, which could be clearly set between her mind and her heart.
Fiyero stared in disbelieve. "Fae, no. I will not accept this. Haven't I apologized enough?"
"Yes, but that's not the point." Elphaba said, turning around away from him. She couldn't bare his tormented look.
"Then what is it? Help me understand, cause I frankly can't comprehend you!"
"The point is—the point is you died, Fiyero. And my world was torn apart. I have been dealing with it since, and can continue like that, even if I don't want to. I don't want to be the cause of you getting hurt again…" her sadness was apparent now, and a single tear poured down her cheek.
Fiyero was shocked by her response. He hadn't expected her to be that harsh with herself. He had never blamed her for what had happened to him, much less hated her. He softened a little and reached across the room to embrace her. She was crying apparently, letting out little sobs at the time. She didn't flinch away when he touched her. That was a good sign.
"No, Fiyero, this can't be. I won't let you involve yourself again with me… this will only end in a wreck." Elphaba said, trying to push him away, but not really meaning it. She definitely needed him.
"Shhh, Fae, it's all right. It wasn't your fault."
"Yes, it was." She replied, backing away a little bit, only to see his azure eyes, but not enough for him to impede touching her. "If you hadn't been mixed up with me, the Gale Force would have never caught you, and therefore, all of this suffering would've been spared."
"Oh, Fae. You couldn't have prevented that. I wouldn't give up our time together for anything in the world. It was the most blissful time of my life. And come to think about it, I am glad I was caught up, for had it not been me, they would have wedged you. And that would have just killed me." Fiyero answered, giving a small smile, to tell her that he still loved her.
"But--"
"Just leave it, love. This is how I feel. You can't change that. And you certainly can't modify how you feel." He said, in a warmer tone. Slowly, he lowered his heads towards hers. She would not back away, for her heart betrayed her and made her mind forget about everything except for them. They kissed, unhurriedly, reassuring their love and welcoming each other. Fiyero comforted her, making her feel lost once again, but in a superior manner.
Just as their passion incremented, the sound of the door being open interrupted them. They parted, ready to face whoever would come in. Or so they thought.
"Sorry. Should I come back later, Auntie Witch?" Liir spat out. Elphaba just stared, completely oblivious to what he had said. She had absolutely forgotten of his existence. What was she going to do, now? How would she explain to Fiyero?
Fiyero was in shock too. But not in the same way as Elphaba was. He was seeing a boy which much resembled Elphaba. In his own means, anyway. He just couldn't believe it. Could he be… Elphaba's son?
After a short while, and a weird look from Elphaba and the other guy (Liir suspected he was Fiyero-), Liir asked once again. "Can I stay?". That seemed to snap Elphaba from her trance, and she blinked and stuttered some words.
"Um… I—no. Go away." She looked him in the eye for almost the first time since Liir could remember.
"But--"
"I told you to go away. Do as I tell you." Elphaba interrupted coldly. She would deal with him later. "And I told you not to call me like that." She said before the boy turned away and headed back where he came from. Liir was so tired he couldn't even argue. He didn't want to get into a fight with Auntie Wit--Elphaba for it. He had spent too much time with the other kids.
After the kid left, Elphaba kept looking on the direction where he had been standing, not ready to face Fiyero yet. 'Damn the kid.' Elphaba deliberated. 'He was always one for timing…' she thought to herself sarcastically.
Fiyero just stood there, trying to take all that he had seen in. How Elphaba had responded to the kid… he could tell she was nervous. He just hadn't considered her having a kid… he hadn't considered the fact that maybe she had moved on.
"Well… um…" Fiyero started.
Elphaba just flinched and turned around, but she would not look him in the eye. "Yeah…" she said. "Fiyero, listen--"
"I hadn't counted on that, huh?" Fiyero cut her off, not wanting to hear what she got to say. The sole idea of her been with another man… it just wrecked him more than anything. "I guess-- you found someone else…another man to love…"
Elphaba gave him a questioning look. "What…?"
"Well, he obviously is your son." He said.
"How'd you kno--"
"The resemblance is remarkable. Maybe not to a stranger. But I know you far enough to tell." He said, somewhat upset. He gave her a hard, frigid stare. Elphaba's eyes were filled with tears as she deemed the fact that he thought she had been with another man.
"Fiyero, no, you got it all wrong!"
"I'm sorry, I can't bare this. I--- I have to go." He started to leave when he felt the warm grasp of the other individual in the room touch his arm. He would always be sensitive at his lover's feel. And he couldn't resist it.
"Fiyero, please…" the last words almost a whisper. He took a moment before he turned around and looked at her now filled with tears green eyes. He would listen to her; after all, she had dealt with his story. Now, it was his turn.
She motioned for him to sit down at the bed, where she had moved towards. She accommodated herself so she could face him, and gave a loud sigh before starting to tell him the truth about Liir.
"I—I don't know where to start…"
"You could start by telling me who the father is." Fiyero said. That made Elphaba look down. He didn't mean to offend her in anyway, but he was just angry. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to--"
"It's all right. I understand why you would be distressed. But you don't need to worry." Elphaba said, kindly. She took his hands in hers, and he didn't complain. "He… you… oh, damn. I believe you are his father." Elphaba stated.
Silence. Fiyero could not trust his own ears. Was she saying that he was the seed of his and Elphaba's affair? But there was one word that got his attention the most. She had said 'I believe…'.
After a moment of stillness, when Elphaba was trying to read Fiyero's confused and chaotic look, Fiyero responded.
"You… believe?" he questioned, uncertainty filled his voice.
"Oh, god… it's not that I doubt about who his father is, but I doubt who his mother is as well. Fiyero, when you died, I was completely devastated, and entered a comatose state for almost a year or more… when I woke up, there was this baby I had to take care of. I didn't know who he was, or if he was left there to my care because it was another task or duty, like sweeping the floor. I honestly didn't care, as I did for most of the things. I took him and fed him and clothed him as I was told. But as he grew up, I found that he much resembled a person for which I had cared too much… he--he resembled you… " Elphaba said, almost in a murmur. A tear had poured down her cheek, and fired every bit of flesh it touched, but she didn't mind. She had to keep explaining to Fiyero. "I couldn't stand his sight. I despised him for been your child and reminding me of my guilt. For reminding me how dead you were. Until now… I doubted who he was… but when seeing you…" she couldn't go on anymore. Her voice deceived her in a way she hadn't known before. She was crying now, her uncontrollable weep broke Fiyero's heart. He just stared at her, and realized why was it she had been reluctant to have a relationship with him again. She just didn't want him or her to get hurt that much again, not to mention she didn't want to find out terrifying things about her past.
Fiyero said nothing, but just stared at her and had the urge to take her right there and now. Instead, he hugged her as tightly as he could, and smiled at how her sobs decreased the moment he had taken her in her arms. They stayed like that for what seemed forever, until the woman stopped crying and was able to speak again. Fiyero laid his head on top of hers, and stroked her long black hair, which he loved so much.
"What's his name?" Fiyero asked, still entranced by her hair and thinking what to say to break this uncomfortable silence.
"Huh?"
"The child. What is he called?"
Elphaba beamed a little at his question. "Liir. It means strength and courage." Elphaba said, without moving. With that said, she slowly fell asleep in his kind arms. She was so tired she could barely keep awake, and his touch just made her dreamy and numb.
Fiyero, on the other hand, as soon as Elphaba got asleep, put her down on her bed, and moved to the windowsill, where he could see most of Kiamo Ko. It was dawn. They had been talking for hours.
He sat there, thinking. He had a son. With his Fae. The thought just made him content and made him want to know more about Liir. But then Sarima and his other children came to his mind. How would he explain this?
It didn't matter now. Fiyero relaxed and looked out the window. Poor Elphaba had been through all of this alone. Once again, he cursed himself for not being able to be at her side when she had had the child, or for not being part of the boy's life. He admired how she had been capable of doing this alone, and how she had kept the kid, even if he reminded her of his dead lover. He had seen how cold and hard she had been towards the kid. But he could tell she wasn't angry at him, she was angry at the universe for giving her a reminder of, what she thought was her fault, his own 'death'.
But now everything was going to be okay, he thought. Fiyero diverted his eyes to the sleeping form on the bed. She seemed at peace at last. He gave a content sigh before heading his eyes back to the landscape in front of him.
A/N: I hoped you liked the chapter! Please review, that's all I ask! And if I do not update soon, I apologize, for I have tons of HW. Enjoy and review!