Warning: a bit of a shocking chapter with evil cliffhanger...

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I fear for you.

After being fixated so long on just getting Bagoas and himself through the worst, Hephaistion was suddenly faced with a situation that was hard to place. It shouldn't have been so sudden, he should have thought this over long before… where would his own future leave the young Persian? Wherever /I/ am, if possible. But that could pose a problem.

"I'm going to see Alexander," he told the other quietly.

A breath, then Bagoas' body slowly began rocking forward and backwards, a slow rhythm but already more of a reaction than Hephaistion was used to. Approval? Fear? The eunuch let his eyes stray blankly through the tent, a sigh escaping his lips.

"Hey," he urged gently, putting his hand on Bagoas' shoulder. "Don't go anywhere, alright? If I haven't returned when we're breaking up camp…" He hesitated shortly. "…go to Ptolemy."

He should have asked for that last favour, in return for trying his best with Alexander. Not that he believed Ptolemy would refuse him if Bagoas came to his tent to ask for protection, but he wasn't sure the boy would even do as he suggested. He was just as capable of just sitting here and staying behind.

And the eunuch gave no response other than the continued rocking.

Hephaistion had to bite back his irritation. But becoming angry never worked… sometimes it felt as if Bagoas expected nothing but anger. As if he was trying to make the former general take him by the shoulders and shake him until some kind of answer would leave his mouth.

Hephaistion shook his head slowly, intent on turning around and leaving without another word, when suddenly the other's eyes shot up at him.

Dark and unreadable as always. No emotion displayed on the thin face, but this time an intensity in their depths that nearly made Hephaistion back away. 'Go!', the other seemed to tell him. Or perhaps it was 'stay!'. Or just 'do whatever you have to, what are you waiting for?'?

At least the other had heard him. At least he was there.

Hephaistion's face softened and he nodded at the younger man, and after a sudden decision he stepped forward and pressed his forehead to Bagoas'. Even if there was no true understanding, he might just as well pretend there was.

Slender fingers brushed through his hair, where gone in an instant as he leant back. Hephaistion left the tent with a new strength in his step.

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He rested a calming hand on his stallion's neck as the beast was startled at a sudden movement once more. Men looked up, then quickly looked away – either because the sunlight was too bright or simply because the soldiers were afraid to meet his eyes. If the king's disgraced lover was riding towards the imperial tent, his eyes hard and his horse darting under him, sensing the nervousness from its rider… what would their thoughts be? But the dark-haired rider carried himself with pride, as did his steed.

Hephaistion had picked up the young beast in the time he had still been a general, and had kept a close eye on it while in the desert. Unquenchable hunger and thirst had cost many valuable mounts their lives. But Rain, as he had called the grey stallion in remembrance of previous times and hope for new ones, also guarded itself well. Even Bagoas still feared its temper.

Hephaistion wondered what would become of him. The thoughts seemed of no use and he had banned them from his mind for a long time… I am stronger than he is. The times he could hurt me as bad as I hurt him are over… after all, leaving Alexander behind was not really an option he could make himself consider. And if he wouldn't leave his childhood friend alone, then it was the insane king who controlled his future. No! I would leave for Bagoas' sake. And I will not – never – become like him. Either of them.

But the situation had not changed since Alexander's accusations. He wasn't called back and he wasn't chased further away. And now Alexander had made up his mind… and all he could do was wait to hear it. But I'm stronger. I'm trapped but I'm stronger.

He gracefully dismounted and handed over his reins to one of the guards without a word or a glance.

Alexander contrasted with everything around. His eyes were as fierce and alive as ever, a brightness matching the fiery rays sent down by Apollo each day… only a very select few would dare to oppose him. Or even to be honest.

Hephaistion met the king's eyes without wavering. Alexander stood in the middle of his tent, amidst his royal belongings, as if he had waited there for a long time.

They both observed and renewed their data. And if there was anything Hephaistion noticed, it was that the other locked more emotions away with each passing second, emptying his heart while dulling his eyes until… they had both set up all their guards. Ptolemy, how desperate are you?

Alexander finally opened his mouth. "You came." It was spoken softly and in wonder.

Hephaistion was equally left in wonder. "Of course I came. What did you expect me to do?"

The blond man strolled closer, halted two meters away. The silence sent shivers over Hephaistion's skin.

Alexander never disappointed. When he looked up again, sharp daggers shot from his eyes, raising Hephaistion's alert to its fullest, and the king's voice changed into a low and familiar hiss. "After doing your best to ruin my life and undermine my authority even now, I wouldn't have been surprised if you had just fled. I admire your bravery."

Hephaistion stood paralysed as he realised how deep the hateful words still hurt him. He took a deep breath and pulled up his walls higher. There's no way out before it's over. Plunge into the deep. "Ruining your life?"

Alexander cocked his golden-haired head. "I do wonder what it is you're after. The throne? Personal revenge?"

A muscle in Hephaistion's jaw quivered. "Alexander…" Why? What cruelty makes me still feel bothered? I am stronger then this!

Another red welt mercilessly followed the first. "How dare you even speak to me! What madness drives you, Hephaistion!" Alexander lashed out and flashed a cold, mocking smile. He was enjoying this.

Enjoying this... Damn you, Alexander! Damn you!

The king's words were so soft and slow that they seemed a scream for attention. "And what madness drove you when you took my boy into your bed?"

That was the wrong way to tread. For anyone.

Hephaistion's hands turned to trembling fists, and he called upon all his self-restraint. "How dare you speak to me like that! After all that I gave up for you! I'm sick of this, Alexander. And I'm sick of your behaviour, I'm sick of who you've become! I'm sick of…" His breath was without words, but when seeing Alexander's triumphant smile his voice thundered over the smaller man again. "By the Gods, Alexander, I saved him from his death! Took care of him when no one did! Don't dare accuse me of anything!"

A look of utmost contempt was thrown his way. "Oh is that what they call taking care!"

"You don't know what happened between us and neither does anyone else! You-" He stopped, some part of him suddenly realising that this was a road that would lead nowhere. Not that he really cared any longer but-

The other's punch had amazing speed and force. Hephaistion's head spun and he lost his balance, his hand reached out for the nearest table in vain as he fell to his knees. A painful hand closed around his jaw. "Do you think me stupid?" The voice was a low, trembling hiss.

A short laugh escaped Hephaistion mouth. "Well the rest of the army sure does." He tasted the blood in his mouth, and his lips turned to a grimace as he glanced up and breathed: "Are you jealous, Alexander?" With a rash movement he freed himself and rose, backing away to a safe distance as despair changed his anger to something cold as ice.

But the blond man burned bright and hot as ever, fury dancing in his eyes. "I wouldn't miss a slave! And I certainly do not miss you! But you took something that is mine-"

"I can tell, since this is the way you always treat your property," Hephaistion interrupted with a sneer. "But admit it, you didn't think of him once during the past weeks. Not of either of us. We're nothing to you."

"Why would I think of you! You think yourself worthy of that, after all that you did to me! You are nothing!"

It was impossible to keep the deep resentment that seemed to be rushing through his body out of his voice. "So ironic you should be the one to tell me that. Considering you've lost everything that was once dear to you! You're all alone."

It was time to leave.

Alexander's hand clawed around his shoulder and furious eyes stared up at him. "I own an army. You are the one with nothing, now that you're without me. You should see yourself, Hephaistion, your hopeless affection for the little whore so pitiful it is almost amusing. Ah, if only you could see with a clear eye what has become of you!"

Silence.

"Don't worry, you won't ever have to concern yourself with me again. Now just try to forget, Alexander, and find out that really, you can't."

Long strides carried him into a new try at life. I make my own destiny.

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Alexander remained behind in his tent, his body shaking. A few unsteady steps took him to his chair. "Guards!" his cracked voice called after a few moments.

Their faces were blank and obedient as they entered and bowed.

Alexander took a deep breath, then his mouth formed the familiar words. "Kill him."