Chapter 9- Healing Process
"Why can't Nor come out and play?" Asked Liir with a pleading tone. Nor was sitting against the headboard of the bed, and Elphaba was bringing in some soup she had made for Nor to drink. It had been a day since Nor had awakened, and she claimed to feel tired and weak. Liir wanted her to get out of bed immediately so that he could go out and play. But she didn't feel up to it, so she just waved him off. He had been bored for the last couple of days, since most of the books had been burnt and no other children were available.
"Liir, Nor needs to rest and regain her energy. It won't do her good to go running around." Elphaba said, repeating Fiyero's orders. The boy listened to what she said and just turned away and left the room. He would go out alone if he had no other choice. As he did left, Elphaba helped Nor get her meal;. she was very weak and could barely stand up.
As Nor ate, she thought that maybe she was being too hard on the girl. After all, Nor's mother and brothers had probably been killed all in one evening. And the helplessness of it all… it must have been overwhelming for the little girl
"Where's my daddy?" She asked in a gloomy tone.
"He's resting in the other room." Elphaba said. Fiyero had been so relieved at Nor's response that the tiredness and sleep he hadn't been able to catch those nights came over him, and he had just fallen asleep on the adjacent room, so that if anything happened he would be close to them. To make him even more secure that nothing was going to happen, Elphaba decided to take care of the little girl herself, so that he wouldn't have to worry all the time. Fiyero agreed, but with a certain grade of reluctance. His little girl meant the world to him, and he would not loose her.
As Elphaba finished giving Nor her meal, she went to the kitchen to clean the dishes. On her way back, she passed through Fiyero's door. She saw it semi-opened, and decided to look in on him for a while. She moved towards the door and opened it slowly, so as to not awaken him. To her surprise, Fiyero was not lying on the bed, but was sitting at the windowsill, his back to her, looking on the outside. It was raining.
"I see you are awake." Elphaba said, snapping Fiyero out of his thoughts. He turned his head around to face her, not saying a word. His face showed that he'd been thinking; on what, she could not tell, though. Elphaba moved to his side, staring at the landscape before them. Even though rain was the most terrifying thing to her, she loved how it could fall nonstop and the patterns it could create; almost as beautiful as Fiyero's diamonds, but not quite. The woman's hand touched the man's shoulder, and they stood there, their gaze fixed on the pouring rain. Silence and tranquility reigned over the room.
"I missed you." Elphaba whispered after a while. Her gaze was still set on the window's outside world, but Fiyero's was not. He turned his head to her form, thinking that what she just said was last thing he'd expected to hear from her. She was never one for opening herself. He stood up from the windowsill (which made Elphaba look up, but not to him), and he placed himself so that green eyes could meet sapphire ones. Elphaba would not meet his gaze though.
Fiyero placed a hand on her chin and lifted her sight, so that their gaze connected. "I missed you, too," he said softly, and then kissed her sweetly, showing how much he loved her. Their kiss led them to the bed, where they sat and continued kissing each other. Fiyero laid down, bringing Elphaba to his side and wrapped his arms around her. They lay there for a while, just kissing and holding each other. Suddenly, Fiyero broke the action and whispered into her ear "I love you." Elphaba smiled at that, nuzzling closer to Fiyero, just breathing his scent in. He, in return, caressed her long silky hair, as he loved to do so often. They sighed into each other, content in having the other's company. They stayed for a few minutes, just listening to the pouring rain as a kind of soothing music.
Just as Fiyero drifted off to sleep, Elphaba's voice interrupted him. "Do you miss them?" She muttered softly. Fiyero opened his eyes and thought for a bit before answering. Where was she intending to go with this?
"Sometimes." He answered, returning his soft touch to her hair. "I mostly miss my children." At that, Elphaba sighed, still feeling slightly guilty, even if he alleged that it wasn't her fault but his.
"Do you miss her?" She kept on her query. Fiyero took another moment to answer that. He closed his eyes, and a slight frown formed on his face.
"Not really. We weren't that close. I told you that, Fae. The only thing that united us was our duty to our tribe and our children. Nothing more." Elphaba did not speak; she kept quiet for some time. Her head rested over his chest, and her right hand was tightly grasping his free left hand. She then let go to trace the small pattern of diamonds that was drawn on his hand. She loved to play with those sharp figures.
"It wasn't your fault, Yero," Elphaba said as she tilted her head so that she could look into his eyes. Seeing that he didn't respond, she continued. "You couldn't have known they were following you, and you couldn't have prevented them entering the castle either. If we would have been here, we would have probably followed their same fate, and those kids over there would have been alone, with no one to take care of them--" Fiyero interrupted her talking by kissing her passionately. Their fervor developed into a more physical need and in no time, they were under the sheets, no boundaries set between them. They spent the rest of their day worshiping and loving each other. Both of them lost and blinded by their passion and affection.
Late in the afternoon they woke up to find that it had stopped raining. Elphaba rolled on her side and detached herself from Fiyero's touch. He was still sleeping. She looked out the window into the still clouded sky. The room was almost dark, though the little light that there was outside was enough for her to make out most of the room's furniture. She wandered with her mind, thinking mostly in what had happened since her arrival. Her priorities had changed the minute she had seen Fiyero holding his little girl. And now her mind was set on what was going to occur. She had no idea whatsoever as to where would they go from here.
"Fae?" Fiyero mumbled as he reached for her and found no one. She tilted her head towards his sleeping form and slowly she turned so that she could face him, but not quite touching him.
"I'm here Yero." She said calmly. He turned also to face her, though he did not move towards her. She had distanced herself for some reason, and he didn't want to push her too much. Fiyero searched for her eyes, but she would not look at him directly.
"Are you alright?" He asked, concern evident in his question. Elphaba just nodded. She was focused on something else. Fiyero approached her, but not enough to intimidate her. She was obviously having second thoughts. Though he doubted they were about their relationship. He just inched closer, in an attempt to read her better. But she wouldn't let him study her. She would not look into his eyes.
"Fae, I know something is bothering you. I know you; you can't hide it from me." Fiyero's soft voice echoed.
"You knew me before. How can you be certain of who I am now, who I have become after all this time?" Elphaba replied coldly. Yes, definitely something was bothering her.
"Because I love you. That's why. And if that is not enough, I don't know what is." Fiyero said, his eyes lowering. He rolled to his side, not giving his back to her but looking at the obscure ceiling. Desisting from trying to understand her if she wasn't going to let him, he sighed. Sometimes she was tiring. She sighed heavily too, trying to compose herself and trying not be as rude as she had sounded.
"I'm sorry, Fiyero. But this is not easy for me." He still didn't reply to her. "Fiyero, please…" She said as she reached for him with her hand. She couldn't stand when he didn't talk to her. He softened slightly at her touch. That would always do it.
"Fae," he started as he covered her hand with his, "I love you. Why is it that you cannot trust me?" He said, somewhat upset.
"It is not easy, I told you. You can't expect me to change everything just because you tell me you love me. It is not that simple, Fiyero." She snapped.
"Then help me understand once again. I cannot guess whatever is bothering you every time."
Elphaba took some time to answer him. She really had no clue as to where to start. And this was not going to be uncomplicated for her.
"I--I-- " she started. "I really don't know what is it we are doing. I don't know if we have a future together or not. I don't now what is going to happen to us. I don't know a lot of things in my life that I wish I did."
Fiyero reached for her face with his hand and caressed her lime cheek. "Oh, my Fae. Everything will be fine. All that matters is that I love you and I will take care of you. You needn't discern everything to know that we do have a future together as long as we love and care for each other." He said as he approached her.
"We loved each other in the past. And that didn't turn out well, did it?" She replied, also drawing near him. Even if her words refused his, her affection could not be controlled.
"We were young back then. We didn't take care of ourselves… our priorities were others, not our safety. But now, being older and having others to take care of, things have changed. We have changed. But not our love. At least not my love." He said to her, trying to soothe her. She looked uncertain of things, but at his soft words, a change could be seen. She was more willing and more disposed.
"Of course I still love you, my Yero." And with that they kissed tenderly and assuring. Once again, they fell into a deep passion none of them could resist, and they made love until their physical lust was satisfied. They held each other for a while longer until night fell, and Fiyero got out of bed and dressed himself to go verify Nor. Elphaba stayed in bed for some more minutes, sighing in contented release. Fiyero could make her feel complete at times.
As she laid awake in her bed, meditating, she heard some voices from the other room. She heard Nor's and Liir's voices. They were brawling about something, and it seemed serious, so she decided to enter the room and see what the problem was, since Fiyero didn't seem to be somewhere near. Children could be disturbing sometimes. She gathered her clothes and finished dressing, making her way to the adjacent room and following the ongoing discussion.
"… I told you it said that. I'm not lying!" Liir screamed at Nor. She was laying on the bed and the other child was standing next to her, trying to make her understand something Elphaba didn't quite catch what it was.
"But it's impossible. How can it be that--"
"What is going on in here?" Elphaba interrupted Nor's protest. Both children looked at her not knowing what to say - though Nor was the bravest of them.
"Ugh. He says that some old fish told him that my dad has some weird connection with him." Nor said, reluctant.
"No. The Animal told me that Fiyero was my father." At Liir's words, Elphaba stood speechless. Frozen, as if a wave of iciness swept over her in just second. Her mind was rushing, but still she could not think. Her heart had skipped a beat at his words, but it also started a rapid rhythm after the previous. Everything froze as Elphaba sank in the meaning of what he had said. How did he know?
"And then I told him that that's not true." Nor said in her 'as-a-matter-of-fact' tone. But Elphaba kept staring. She just couldn't move. Her body didn't respond to her, and neither did her mind.
"What—what did you just say, Liir?" Elphaba asked with a trembling voice, her eyes showing no less than her shocked feelings. At that moment Fiyero was entering the room. He seemed oblivious to the preceding conversation.
"That Fish… down there, it said that Fiyero was my father. And that you were my mother." Liir finished, pointing towards the green woman. In that moment, Fiyero stopped dead in the middle of his walking. What had he just said?
"Liir, I think… I think we need to talk." Elphaba said, motioning him to follow her and moving for the first time since the child had spoken. When she turned around to leave the room, she spotted Fiyero, who was now watching how she walked out the room. Elphaba motioned him to follow her as well to the bedroom where they had spent their day together.
The bed wasn't done, and the sheets were all messed. But that seemed unimportant seeing as what was to be expected. The woman walked in and started pacing from one side to the other, nervous. Fiyero and Liir followed her. The child seated himself at one end of the bed, giving no notice at the aspect of it, while Fiyero approached Elphaba and muttered some consoling words to her. When she seemed calmer, she turned to face the boy, who was actually studying the room's view to the outside. She stood there, watching him intensely before she spoke. Fiyero observed her, and premeditated her actions. He would be there when she needed him to.
"Um… listen Liir, I need you to tell why is it that you believe that we are your…parents." The last she said with resignation. She wasn't quite accustomed to that idea. Or even word.
"I already told you. I didn't imagine it. The Fish told me!" the boy protested. Elphaba looked uncertain of things. Could it be possible that the kid had gone mad and had had a bizarre dream where he dreamt no more than the truth? Or would it be all made up by the child as a cry for attention? Either way, Elphaba and Fiyero were stuck in this and they saw no way of escaping the wretched truth.
Elphaba could not speak. She was truly speechless. It was then when Fiyero realized she needed him the most.
"Fae...?" He said in a soft voice as he reached for her and whispered some soothing words to her ear. That seemed to take Elphaba out of her catatonic state as she recovered most of her thoughts. She continued talking as she detached herself from Fiyero.
"I—um…I don't know how to say this, but…" She sighed before continuing. "Fiyero is your father. And I am-- your… mother." The words came out more easily than she thought they would. As she said those simple but compromising terms, a wave of release came over her. She let out most of the air she didn't know she had been holding, and a small smile was starting to be formed on her face. Fiyero approached her from behind and put a hand over her shoulder, supportively. Liir made no movement to indicate shock, happiness or even sadness. He didn't seem to react at such news. Perhaps he had already known what it was to come; perhaps he hadn't heard her correctly. But he showed no sign to have listened to Elphaba's words. Silence followed for some seconds after the woman's voice.
"So, you're my mother?" He asked innocently. Elphaba just nodded as a response. He then looked at Fiyero, who was standing behind Elphaba.
"We don't want to you to feel bad or obligated towards us, Liir. We just wanted to tell you, ok? Feel free to express whatever it is that you are feeling right now, we won't scream at you." Fiyero spoke for the first time. The boy nodded in response. He really didn't have any question. Though one lingered on the back of his mind.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" He asked, not looking at any of them in particular. Elphaba looked at Fiyero and back to the child, searching for the right words to say. She didn't find any.
"Well, it's complicated for you to understand at such an early age. However, you must comprehend that it is not that your… father and I didn't care for you. It's just that…I was not ready to tell you. But now you know. And some day you'll realize why is it that this happened. But for now it doesn't matter." She said, a soft smile on her lips. Not enough to show happiness, but enough to show that she cared. In her own way, but she cared. The boy just shrugged and got up from the bed, looking at his parents one more time. It wasn't as if he didn't wish for a mom and a dad. He just didn't know how to react to them. He took a sweater from a chair nearby as he moved out of the room. Elphaba and Fiyero stared in disbelief at their own son. He was one strange child. No, not strange. Distinctive, like his parents.
A/N: Thanks to Annibelle White and BehindGreenEyes16 for the beta-reading. It took me a while, but here it is! I'd love to read some comments, and I unblocked the Anonymus reviews thingy, so if any annonymus wants to review, you're welcome! so review!
Oh, and also, merry Christmas (even if I'm late) and have a happy new Year!