Disclaimer: Most of the characters are S.E. Hinton's and the song belongs to Alphaville.
Open Your Eyes the World is Calling
Scream
"Cardog," I whispered, blinking and rubbing my eyes, "You awake?" I had fallen asleep. I saw Caradog's eyes were open and he still looked sick but he was reading a thick book, To Kill a Mockingbird. It was his favourite book.
"Hey sweetie, how are you?"
"I'm fine, Becca," he replied, furrowing his brows and concentrating on his book. He was already half way done and I knew he hadn't been reading it earlier. He was a real fast reader.
"Becs," he said suddenly, "Will you be sad?"
"Of course I will, little buddy. I love you." I was already sad. It hurt to lose one more person who I loved but Caradog was the perfect little brother. He filled in all my spaces. He was smart and he remembered all I forgot. And he always knew when I didn't understand what someone was talking about even if I was nodding. He always knew how to explain things to me.
Softly I started singing. I'm an average singer. I'm not making anybody cover their ears but I'm not amazing. Average, like everything else about me.
"Let's start in style, let's dance for a while
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst
Are you gonna drop the bomb or not
Let us die young or let us live forever
We don't have the power, but we never say never
Sitting in a sand-pit, life is a short trip
The music's for the sad men.
Can you imagine when this race is won
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders, we're getting in tune
The music's played by the, the mad men
Forever young, I want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever, forever and ever
Forever young, I want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever? Forever young
Some are like water, some are like the heat
Some are a melody and some are the beat
Sooner or later they all will be gone
why don't they stay young
It's so hard to get old without a cause
I don't want to perish like a fading horse
Youth's like diamonds in the sun
and diamonds are forever
So many adventures couldn't happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams swinging out of the blue
We let them come true
Forever young, I want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever, forever and ever
Forever young, I want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever, forever and ever
Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever?"
Softly I kissed my little brother's head. I'd been there the entire week and we'd had some long conversations about nothing and everything and all that's in between.
"Rebecca, when I die," Caradog started and I softly shook my head, "When I die I need you to stay true to your real friends. I need you to figure out who they are and stay with them. The Socs aren't real people and they will betray you as soon as they get the chance." And I knew I would never hear my brother's voice again. I contemplated his final words. His death wasn't particularly dignified. He died no hero, except to me.
I started to cry and whispered, "Forever young." Before the nurses and doctors started taking him away. I was crying softly in the corner. When I cried I let out big gulping sobs and my eyes got all piggy and my face got all red and splotchy. It wasn't pretty.
Subconsciously I remembered someone coming and bringing me back to the Valance house. I'm not sure who they were or what I'd done to them to make them do this for me.
The funeral, a few days later, didn't have many people involved in it. Not too many people knew Caradog or me. The Andersons, Randy and his family, the Valances, and a few other Soc families I didn't know. The greasers, all seven of them, sat stiffly in the back. They all looked solemn, even Sodapop who I never knew had any other expression than happy.
"Caradog," I said, my voice already cracking, "Was an angel. He saved my life so many times and sometimes it was just with one look. He rarely got mad and never raised his voice. He was the perfect little brother and really really sweet. Caradog was never like anyone else I'd ever known. I was never jealous of him or scared of him and I loved him more than I ever loved my full brother. I was only five when he was born and I remember the day they brought him home. Both me and my brother were born in the middle of the night but my mom went into labour with Caradog at 12 in the afternoon and he was born two hours later. He was peaceful. He was my everything and we filled in each other's imperfections. I loved him. I still do." My voice was raggedy and terrible now and I was getting splotchy face syndrome again.
Later, at the reception, I went over to the guys. I nearly fainted from lack of sleep and food and from just being so empty. Ponyboy put his hand on my shoulder and just patted it sympathetically. I hated it when people were sympathetic. None of the boys really knew what I was goin' through. I mean even after the Curtis parents died the brothers always had each other. Now I was all alone in a field. Like being in the middle of a circle and having nothing to do but sway.
Only Dallas truly understood what I was going through and he simply stood there looking as if he was recounting painful memories himself. He interrupted all the other boys by leading me to my room upstairs and placing me in bed. He looked at me with a look of something completely different from any other looks I'd ever seen before. Softly he turned on my tape player and "Your Ex-Lover is Dead," by Stars.
"When there's nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire," I whispered with my voice breaking halfway through the quote I recognized as the beginning of "Your Ex-Lover is Dead."
Dallas left the room quietly and I drifted off into a dreamland I never wanted to come out of.
AN- MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! I hope yours was awesome. Here is a Christmas present, please review, that can be yours to me .